Does anyone else think like me?

ElizaR123

Active Member
Nov 28, 2017
30
14
25
Colorado
✟17,118.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
When talking with people flirting with Christianity, I always tell them to read Ecclesiastes and then John.

And yes, this life is utterly meaningless without God. It's a point I try to make to staunch atheists all the time. And here is a secret: As you get older and face your end, it becomes more and more relevant. I say that as a 64 year old who no longer gets into new restaurants, new cars, or pretty much any of the stuff that used to get me all excited. I see this life as one of those first person video games, or The Matrix, it is not really real in the way we think of reality, and my spirit has merely been injected into a human biological machine for a few decades. That machine well come to an end, but I won't.

To be clear, I won't because I'm saved. The lost DO come to an end. The bible calls it the second death. Which gets to the core of Christianity. Those that choose to be in eternity with their creator will be. Those that don't, won't. Their "soul" will die. I see the soul as the software (mind) that runs on the hardware we call a brain.

I love your way of thinking. You're right. Even the first person video game/Matrix thing is something that I've thought too. God is merciful for the fact that at least after this pointless existence we will find some meaning and a life, a purpose in Him. Otherwise there is nothing but temporary satisfaction.
 
Upvote 0

Almost there

Well-Known Member
Oct 24, 2017
3,571
1,152
60
Kentucky
✟44,542.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I love your way of thinking. You're right. Even the first person video game/Matrix thing is something that I've thought too. God is merciful for the fact that at least after this pointless existence we will find some meaning and a life, a purpose in Him. Otherwise there is nothing but temporary satisfaction.
The argument has been made that the movie, The Matrix, was, in fact, written as a Christian allegory. It may be why the follow ups, written by the brothers, based on the original story, are such lame stories.

Notice the power Neo has at the end of the first movie. If I have the faith of a mustard seed and tell a mountain to move, it will.
 
Upvote 0

ElizaR123

Active Member
Nov 28, 2017
30
14
25
Colorado
✟17,118.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Solomon was not a Godly man. His conclusions about life are idiotic. We are to strive to find fulfillment and meaning and purpose in living, and have hope in the final glorious eternal utopian existence in the new heavens and new earth.

That said, psychological factors such as depression, and environmental and social factors such as poverty, war, exploitation, and etc all work against to make this difficult or impossible.

It's all futile. Maybe it's nice to strive to find fulfillment and meaning and purpose in living, but that's just our flesh convincing us that anything on the earth is worthwhile. And maybe those little beautiful moments we experience in this life are worth something...But other than that, it's futile.
 
Upvote 0

ElizaR123

Active Member
Nov 28, 2017
30
14
25
Colorado
✟17,118.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Well, it's not that everything is pointless, what Solomon meant was that finding happiness outside of God with all of those things was pointless. Ecclesiastes was written after Solomon spent his life worshipping other gods and other similar things. So him saying that all things are pointless, it's really just the fact that without God, what's the point. We can't take any of it with us, so who cares?

Exactly.
 
Upvote 0

yeshuaslavejeff

simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua
Jan 6, 2005
39,944
11,098
okie
✟214,996.00
Faith
Anabaptist
Otherwise there is nothing but temporary satisfaction.
In Salvation, in Jesus, is also the already given gift without measure of His Spirit, as well as immeasurable Peace (no one can shake), Joy (no one can take), and Righteousness (no one can earn). Continually , it is written, now, on earth, as we live in Christ here, as the first century believers lived in Christ continually , daily, full of righteousness, peace and joy.
Rare to see on earth, yes. Today just as it was then and when this (God's Word, Scripture), was written. Unchangeable Truth, same today as yesterday and forever.
Not temporary, and not (fleshly nor worldly nor carnal) satisfaction,
but permanent, eternal, without end, without measure, today.
 
Upvote 0

faroukfarouk

Fading curmudgeon
Apr 29, 2009
35,902
17,177
Canada
✟279,058.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
It's all futile. Maybe it's nice to strive to find fulfillment and meaning and purpose in living, but that's just our flesh convincing us that anything on the earth is worthwhile. And maybe those little beautiful moments we experience in this life are worth something...But other than that, it's futile.
We need to find joy in the worthiness of the Lamb of God:

"Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing." Revelation 5.12)
 
Upvote 0

ElizaR123

Active Member
Nov 28, 2017
30
14
25
Colorado
✟17,118.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
We need to find joy in the worthiness of the Lamb of God:

"Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing." Revelation 5.12)

Yep.
 
  • Like
Reactions: faroukfarouk
Upvote 0

ElizaR123

Active Member
Nov 28, 2017
30
14
25
Colorado
✟17,118.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Hello, my friend. :) Let me introduce myself. I am a Christian Existentialist whose favorite book of the Bible is Ecclesiastes. When I was your age, I was absolutely overwrought with anxiety and depression with the meaninglessness of my existence. I am naturally a very introspective, philosophical person, so I think deeply about this stuff. I am also bipolar, and back in those days it wasn't controlled, so my depressions were bad ones. I read a lot of Dostoevsky, Sartre, Camus, Kierkegaard... But Ecclesiastes was my favorite.

If you are anything like me, I know that nothing I or anyone else says to you right now is going to be a final word for you. It's going to be a long journey for you to sort this stuff out. Know that that's okay.

Here is how it resolved for me.

Because all things come from God, they have intrinsic value. If God didn't exist, then there would be no meaning. But our Creator fills the universe with himself, his meaning, his essence and purpose.

You cannot know this from philosophy and reason. Philosophy and reason are great things -- they are God given and wondrous. I think that people should be as rational as possible. But reason will only take you so far until you hit a wall. This is the wall that all existentialists hit, including the author of Ecclesiastes.

Ah, but what of Christian Existentialists? Kierkegaard got to that wall, using all his logical resources, and then let go and walked through it in faith.

You are very, very young still. There is a lot you have yet to experience. I don't know what kind of personality you have, whether you are sensory or intuitive, grounded or mystic....

I have these moments where I experience the entire universe as joy. Where ever leaf on the trees, every blade of grass just figuratively sings. It's as if, if I could use CS Lewis' metaphor, the entire universe were a Great Dance. It reminds me of the Psalmist's words, "The heavens declare the glory of God." If you've ever had such an experience, then you have to conclude one of two things: either you are a nutcase, or life has meaning.

But this meaning of life just isn't the things that people go looking for. There are false lures that are addictive in nature that promise fulfillment and don't deliver. They suck you in and suck you dry, because you can never get enough to satisfy that animal desire for pleasure. They are LIES when they are confused with happiness:
  • wealth/material things
  • power/influence/status
  • sex
  • food
  • alcohol and drugs

There are a lot of different elements to what we call happiness. Let me just whip a few out off the top of my head, and speak from 56 years of going from a very depressed person to a person of great happiness.

CONTENTMENT:
A lot of what we call happiness is simply contentment, feeling like we had a good day, a good week, a good year. You don't plan it, you can't examine it while it's happening. What you do is LIVE IN THE MOMENT. Then, when you look back, you feel happy about things. In fact, even if things were rough, you still feel good because you got through it, you handled it, it passed, tomorrow is another day.

INNER PEACE:
There is nothing like a clear conscience to make a person feel happy. You definitely sleep better at night. This was the conclusion of the author of Ecclesiastes, who wrestled with what was important: "When all is said and done, this one thing remains: Love God and OBEY HIS COMMANDMENTS, for this is the whole of man."

MEANING:
In short, we make ourselves happier by bringing happiness to others. It is better to give than to receive. It amazes me how people will throw away their lives trying to make more money when they are already unhappy making $300,000 a year, when those same two hours of overtime could be spent at a soup kitchen and bring true feelings of richness.

FOCUS:
We loose our happiness because we become seduced by things that don't bring it to us. How do we keep our focus on what is important? Let me tell you a story that has helped me through my life:

There was once a young chinese woman who owned a restaurant with her husband. Every day early in the morning she would come in to begin work, and one of the things she would do was make the fortune cookies. She would start by pulling out her mat and praying, and receiving the fortunes, seeing the faces of the people they were meant for. Then she would get up and write them down one by one.

One day, a good friend of hers, a young man who had grown up in the town, came into the restaurant. At the end of his meal, she delivered his fortune cookie to him. She watched from afar as he opened and read it. He considered it for some time. He glanced around and didn't seem to catch her watching him. Then he tore off the smallest piece of the fortune and ate it. The woman smiled, for she knew that he understood that for a fortune to come true, the receiver had to nourish it. His fortune had been, "You will die a happy man."

Receiving the fortune changed the man. It made him think, "What if today were my last day?" He would spend more time with his children and wife, and act more patiently with others. He was kinder and more generous to his co-workers and made more friends. Sometimes he would break off another piece of the fortune, which he always kept in his shirt pocket.

Life went by, and the woman grew very old. One day she received new that her friend had passed away, and her family was invited to the funeral. As prayers were said and incense was lit, she thought back over his life and hers. Afterwards she spoke with many of their mutual friends. They enjoyed sharing different stories, surprising one another. But the one thing they all agreed upon -- he had died a happy man.

Great post. Everything you said holds truth and I need to meditate on your post for awhile. I find it fascinating that you said you have dealt with bipolar. My ex boyfriend had bipolar (and he didn't really know Jesus), and through his depression and the way he spoke, I knew that he held some sort of a different perspective on life because of the outside view his brain had on the world. Where everyone just has "normal" minds and just continues to do "regular", menial things, my ex almost saw things from the outside. The problem was, since he didn't know Jesus that well, he too thought it was all meaningless and hated the world because of it, and suffers from horrible, suicidal, depression.
I admire the fact that you took that different perspective and made it into something positive, and I'm even amazed that it is possible. I'm not opposed to a "different" way of thinking, like how you quote CW Lewis' The universe is a Great Dance. It's beautiful that someones mind can be born different but take them to a place that most of us can't understand, or choose to not understand. Most people won't go there. I'm fascinated by psychology. I've spent hours trying to understand the brain of my ex, and after months of thought, I now know the difference between him and I. The reason I've done this is because I'm truly curious...Is there some things that other minds can understand that I can't? Is there a certain amount of wisdom that he or people like him have gained that maybe my brain can't? So I am so curious about even your mind too. All glory to God though, for at the end of the day, He is the only One who can break the chain of something that binds us, emotionally, mentally, psychically. And He is the one who has placed a limit of wisdom, knowledge and understanding for us to gain here on the earth.

But, I wrote a poem, maybe you'd like to read it? I'll paste it here. (Just a side note, my exes diagnosis is bipolar, anti-social personality disorder, and ADHD. He wanted to kill people and was violent, thus, the reason it's about darkness/psychopathy.)

The Fine Line Between Sanity and Psychopathy/The Limits of Human Wisdom
__________________________________________________________

You edge on the side of iniquitous insanity, while I rest in the integrity of the sane. You dwell in a certain madness, and I fly in devout freedom. You're euphoric in generated chaos, while I flourish in ever present peace. You try to act covertly superior, while I ambivalently endeavor in humbleness. You quest for the worlds utmost terrors, while I withdraw in the feathers of vital innocence. You dive in the fathomless depths of unexplainable horrors while I saunter through an abiding land doused in the wonderment of unadulterated delight.

Two sides, the darkness and the light, like yin and yang. Spinning, swirling, immeshed in a boundless circle, with the same common knowledge...And we're curious. Both of us know that this world is meaningless; The end is inevitable. The difference is, you thrive on accursed death, while I'm consumed with blessed assurance; there is life through death. ◦
 
Upvote 0

MournfulWatcher

In the beginning was the Word.
Feb 15, 2016
392
444
United States
✟110,673.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
I am having major anxiety tonight because I am overwhelmed by the meaninglessness of life. If you read Ecclesiastes in the Bible, you will see that the ultimate maximum level of wisdom that God has allowed humans to comprehend and have on the earth, is that it's all meaningless. Everything comes to nothing, we all die, that's it. That's what Solomon concludes. So I'm looking around today at everyone while I'm in school like..."Does anyone else think about this?? Does anyone else think about how we could die tomorrow? Is anyone else thinking about the depths of outer space, about God's creation?" There's like this deeper level of something that I'm understanding and no one else is, all of my friends hate conversation like that. No one wants to go deep, everyone just wants to live their petty normal lives. Which I have nothing against, I like a normal life too. But lately I'm overwhelmed by this revelation...Is there anyone out there who thinks like this too? And not just sort of. All of the time. Like, you're a philosopher or whatever you might call it. If you are, thank you for letting me know I'm not alone in this, and pleeeeease hit me up. Let's be friends. Let's talk. :D I love to engage in really deep conversation like this and I looove when people ask me my opinion on really deep topics about God and stuff or ask me questions.

Ohh...Introductions. Sorry I got carried away. My name is Eliza, I'm in college and I'm going to be 19 on the 7th. Nice to meet you :)

Edit: Thanks for the replies. I hear what you all are saying. I should have worded my post better. I do know that God and His way are the main focal point of this life. This life isn't totally meaningless, because our meaning comes in Jesus Christ, our Savior. But..As we are on this earth, we can have the knowledge, wisdom and understanding to know that nothing matters on this earth (except GOD). And that drives me crazy!! The thought is insane...It's beautiful, it's so deep, and it overwhelms me completely! I'm not really looking into the scripture about it guys,(That doesn't mean I'm not reading the scripture guys, don't get me wrong.) I'm just thinking more on the revelation. Or...realization, I should call it. That's what I want to talk about. Nothing under the sun is new, that's what the Bible also says. So all of these humans just keep repeating the same patterns over and over, get a job, have a family, etc etc, but then they are struck with DEATH. Which no one can comprehend fully or understand or wants to acknowledge or think about. Except for me (or so it seems), and I am tired of not having anyone to talk to about this! So again, if you think like this too, I will be so glad to talk with you. Message me!

The whole thing in Ecclesiastes isn't as straight forward as you think. It isn't saying that life has no meaning, it's saying that the meaning isn't always clear, that this life is temporary and we shouldn't try to control everything.

You're beginning to understand more about life and God, and I completely relate. I encourage you to research some of these questions, I personally follow a lot of youtubers who do philosophy, they've helped me think through a lot of the same questions and ideas you're having. I'll list some sources if you're interested.

The Bible Project - They talk about a lot of different concepts and books in the Bible and the meaning behind them, accompanied by some really beautiful animations. Their video on Ecclesiastes is one of my favorites, so I'll add the link to that as well:

InspiringPhilosophy - This guy is awesome. He's very knowledgeable about lot of different subjects within the realm of Christian philosophy. I love his series called "The Case for the Soul" and "Supposed Bible Contradictions".

derezzed83 - He's also into Christian philosophy, but he can be a bit more difficult to understand than InspiringPhilosophy, but he really goes into depth about whatever it is he talks about. He's very intelligent.

Joseph Solomon - He's not so much of a philosopher, but I find his videos really encouraging and helpful to my Christian walk. He gives great advice, so you should totally check him out.

Don't let these thoughts and ideas linger stagnantly in your mind with no solution. Logic and philosophy have been incredibly important to Christianity's history; there are so many resources out there, and they're all so fascinating and can help us understand our faith. It isn't uncommon to feel alone with these thoughts, but try to find people to talk about them with whenever you can. I can definitely relate to the struggle of not knowing anyone who you can talk with about these things.
 
Upvote 0

Tayla

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Sep 30, 2017
1,694
801
USA
✟147,315.00
Country
United States
Faith
Atheist
Marital Status
Private
It's all futile. Maybe it's nice to strive to find fulfillment and meaning and purpose in living, but that's just our flesh convincing us that anything on the earth is worthwhile. And maybe those little beautiful moments we experience in this life are worth something...But other than that, it's futile.
By the word "flesh" I assume you refer to some psychological or biological condition which prevents someone from experiencing life to the full. For people who feel life is futile, it indeed is futile. But in God's perspective, human life in not futile; so there is a mismatch.

In the eternal utopian new heavens and new earth, we will feel all the joy and fulfillment and connectedness and purpose; just as God intends. Until then, we must struggle by; some more so than others.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Open Heart

Well-Known Member
Aug 3, 2014
18,521
4,393
62
Southern California
✟49,214.00
Country
United States
Faith
Seeker
Marital Status
Celibate
Great post. Everything you said holds truth and I need to meditate on your post for awhile. I find it fascinating that you said you have dealt with bipolar. My ex boyfriend had bipolar (and he didn't really know Jesus), and through his depression and the way he spoke, I knew that he held some sort of a different perspective on life because of the outside view his brain had on the world. Where everyone just has "normal" minds and just continues to do "regular", menial things, my ex almost saw things from the outside. The problem was, since he didn't know Jesus that well, he too thought it was all meaningless and hated the world because of it, and suffers from horrible, suicidal, depression.
I admire the fact that you took that different perspective and made it into something positive, and I'm even amazed that it is possible. I'm not opposed to a "different" way of thinking, like how you quote CW Lewis' The universe is a Great Dance. It's beautiful that someones mind can be born different but take them to a place that most of us can't understand, or choose to not understand. Most people won't go there. I'm fascinated by psychology. I've spent hours trying to understand the brain of my ex, and after months of thought, I now know the difference between him and I. The reason I've done this is because I'm truly curious...Is there some things that other minds can understand that I can't? Is there a certain amount of wisdom that he or people like him have gained that maybe my brain can't? So I am so curious about even your mind too. All glory to God though, for at the end of the day, He is the only One who can break the chain of something that binds us, emotionally, mentally, psychically. And He is the one who has placed a limit of wisdom, knowledge and understanding for us to gain here on the earth.

But, I wrote a poem, maybe you'd like to read it? I'll paste it here. (Just a side note, my exes diagnosis is bipolar, anti-social personality disorder, and ADHD. He wanted to kill people and was violent, thus, the reason it's about darkness/psychopathy.)

The Fine Line Between Sanity and Psychopathy/The Limits of Human Wisdom
__________________________________________________________

You edge on the side of iniquitous insanity, while I rest in the integrity of the sane. You dwell in a certain madness, and I fly in devout freedom. You're euphoric in generated chaos, while I flourish in ever present peace. You try to act covertly superior, while I ambivalently endeavor in humbleness. You quest for the worlds utmost terrors, while I withdraw in the feathers of vital innocence. You dive in the fathomless depths of unexplainable horrors while I saunter through an abiding land doused in the wonderment of unadulterated delight.

Two sides, the darkness and the light, like yin and yang. Spinning, swirling, immeshed in a boundless circle, with the same common knowledge...And we're curious. Both of us know that this world is meaningless; The end is inevitable. The difference is, you thrive on accursed death, while I'm consumed with blessed assurance; there is life through death. ◦
Your poem was so lovely! I really enjoyed reading it. I write poetry too sometimes.

I am very distrubed about your ex. That is a very toxic combination of traits. It's what my gaming daughter would call "chaotic evil." There's no way he couldn't have had a bad effect on you -- messed with your head and with your soul. Were you trying to "save him"? Why were you with him?
 
Upvote 0

ElizaR123

Active Member
Nov 28, 2017
30
14
25
Colorado
✟17,118.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Your poem was so lovely! I really enjoyed reading it. I write poetry too sometimes.

I am very distrubed about your ex. That is a very toxic combination of traits. It's what my gaming daughter would call "chaotic evil." There's no way he couldn't have had a bad effect on you -- messed with your head and with your soul. Were you trying to "save him"? Why were you with him?


Thank you! Chaotic evil...sounds about right. Hmm...I think as with any person, I always have a slight ounce of hope for salvation in someone, or to see positive change in them. But that was later. I was only with him for about 6 months. My first intention, as shameful as it sounds, was to use him for my freedom. I was at a horrible place in my life, where this young man just so happened to be my first and seemingly true taste of independence. I had been homeschooled, sheltered (not complaining about this though, I’m very blessed with my circumstances) and was feeling very lonely. The devil was on me, because not only did I feel that way but the chaos and drama at that time in my personal life was severe; I had craved an escape. And that young man was an escape indeed, a whole different world. Which, when his mania of the season changing kicked in this fall, and his over all fear/push pull feeling he had gotten from being with me (of course, the compromise of my beliefs, my lack of faith, and just dealing with his darkness, of course I would pull back from him. But when life got bad, I clung to him. Not the man specifically, but the life, the “freedom”. His freedom was toxic though and began to choke me. This is what I said about my life at the time, “It’s like I’m drowning, just to come up to smoke.”) he started treating me horribly. Nothing abusive per say, but...how do I describe it? Somehow he was taking over my mind. His insanity was consuming me. My amount of compromise was so painful. So, so painful. In the pit of my stomach I knew God was trying to get me out of it, it was clear that situation wasn’t what He intended for my life, but I didn’t know what to do. It felt like losing my ex would be the loss of my freedom. To stay with him was painful, to leave him would be even more painful. I didn’t even love him. Bottom line is, God provides our freedom, our peace, love, everything and anything. There was no reason to use someone, and knowing God like I do, I shouldn’t have compromised myself. It’s almost though, as if the situation needed to happen in my life. I’m a different person now, or at least, I’m changing. I’m learning what it means to find my freedom on my own, to trust God with my life, and to let go of control. God pulled me out of the mud on that situation...it was horrific. I couldn’t get out, He literally had to come and rescue me. (If you are really curious for the full story, message me, I will gladly tell you!) I am so grateful for His mercy...anyway, there’s way more to my testimony (a whole lot more) but I’ll save that for another day. If my ex did impact me or my soul in a bad way, God is helping me to come out of it. It’s almost as if my ex was the cork to a hole with a dirty gyser beneath, and unplugging him uncovered a lot of past turmoil that happened to actually be hurting me deeply, I had just overlooked it until this happened. God even blessed me with meeting this Christian mentor that I visit every week, and she’s been giving me wonderful guidance and advice. I’m working hard to get my life back on track.
 
Upvote 0

Open Heart

Well-Known Member
Aug 3, 2014
18,521
4,393
62
Southern California
✟49,214.00
Country
United States
Faith
Seeker
Marital Status
Celibate
Thank you! Chaotic evil...sounds about right. Hmm...I think as with any person, I always have a slight ounce of hope for salvation in someone, or to see positive change in them. But that was later. I was only with him for about 6 months. My first intention, as shameful as it sounds, was to use him for my freedom. I was at a horrible place in my life, where this young man just so happened to be my first and seemingly true taste of independence. I had been homeschooled, sheltered (not complaining about this though, I’m very blessed with my circumstances) and was feeling very lonely. The devil was on me, because not only did I feel that way but the chaos and drama at that time in my personal life was severe; I had craved an escape. And that young man was an escape indeed, a whole different world. Which, when his mania of the season changing kicked in this fall, and his over all fear/push pull feeling he had gotten from being with me (of course, the compromise of my beliefs, my lack of faith, and just dealing with his darkness, of course I would pull back from him. But when life got bad, I clung to him. Not the man specifically, but the life, the “freedom”. His freedom was toxic though and began to choke me. This is what I said about my life at the time, “It’s like I’m drowning, just to come up to smoke.”) he started treating me horribly. Nothing abusive per say, but...how do I describe it? Somehow he was taking over my mind. His insanity was consuming me. My amount of compromise was so painful. So, so painful. In the pit of my stomach I knew God was trying to get me out of it, it was clear that situation wasn’t what He intended for my life, but I didn’t know what to do. It felt like losing my ex would be the loss of my freedom. To stay with him was painful, to leave him would be even more painful. I didn’t even love him. Bottom line is, God provides our freedom, our peace, love, everything and anything. There was no reason to use someone, and knowing God like I do, I shouldn’t have compromised myself. It’s almost though, as if the situation needed to happen in my life. I’m a different person now, or at least, I’m changing. I’m learning what it means to find my freedom on my own, to trust God with my life, and to let go of control. God pulled me out of the mud on that situation...it was horrific. I couldn’t get out, He literally had to come and rescue me. (If you are really curious for the full story, message me, I will gladly tell you!) I am so grateful for His mercy...anyway, there’s way more to my testimony (a whole lot more) but I’ll save that for another day. If my ex did impact me or my soul in a bad way, God is helping me to come out of it. It’s almost as if my ex was the cork to a hole with a dirty gyser beneath, and unplugging him uncovered a lot of past turmoil that happened to actually be hurting me deeply, I had just overlooked it until this happened. God even blessed me with meeting this Christian mentor that I visit every week, and she’s been giving me wonderful guidance and advice. I’m working hard to get my life back on track.
I understand your need for freedom. I think you were very lucky to be homeschooled, but it does tend to shelter you, and I can see where you might be dying to stretch your wings. But it will come, and SURPRISE it will come with responsibility and then you'll be longing for the days when you were young and homeschooled and taken care of. LOL

The truth is that the sort of freedom that adolescents long for doesn't exist. There is always someone telling us what to do. If it isn't our parents, it's our boss, it's the government, it's the Bank, it's the IRS, it's the Bible... Even if we ARE the boss, we are beholden to those under us. The CEO has to make the stock holders happy if he wants to stay CEO. The King worries about revolution if he doesn't rule well. The parent worries about how best to parent -- you too will some day.

Everything comes in its due time. Enjoy each age you are at for its own goodness, with its relative freedoms and responsibilities. Every age can make you happy if you let it. :)

Going back to your ex.... It's not his bipolar that worries me. Sure it can be a little bit of a roller coaster, but bipolar people are not evil. We can be very nice, very sensitive, very friendly goodhearted people who will be good to you. It's the psychopathy that worries me. We are talking about lack of conscience, manipulation, callousness, willingness to hurt you (at least emotionally if not physically), Machiavellianism, narcissism, gas lighting--basically, using and abusing you, because to him you are only worth what he can get out of you. The bipolar just lends a crazy edge to it. Psychopaths, even if they are functional (meaning non-criminal) are PREDATORS and you, my dear, are his prey. Don't kid yourself for one moment. Be glad that you got out as soon as you did.

Many moons ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I was in the university, I read a short story. There was a girl who lived in a small town and was absolutely dying to escape it she was so dog gone bored. One day a young man drives up in a really slick sports car with the top down and the chrome all shined up. His clothes were cool, and his hair was all slicked back. Hey baby, he says to her... You can kind of guess how it goes. He promises her the world trying to get her to get in the car with him. She almost does. But something in her intuition tells her it's dangerous, so she turns him down. He says, suit yourself, and drives away. She starts to walk home with the uncanny feeling that she just narrowly escaped.

Satan always looks attractive, and he always promises us what we think we want, but never really delivers.
 
Upvote 0

ElizaR123

Active Member
Nov 28, 2017
30
14
25
Colorado
✟17,118.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I understand your need for freedom. I think you were very lucky to be homeschooled, but it does tend to shelter you, and I can see where you might be dying to stretch your wings. But it will come, and SURPRISE it will come with responsibility and then you'll be longing for the days when you were young and homeschooled and taken care of. LOL

The truth is that the sort of freedom that adolescents long for doesn't exist. There is always someone telling us what to do. If it isn't our parents, it's our boss, it's the government, it's the Bank, it's the IRS, it's the Bible... Even if we ARE the boss, we are beholden to those under us. The CEO has to make the stock holders happy if he wants to stay CEO. The King worries about revolution if he doesn't rule well. The parent worries about how best to parent -- you too will some day.

Everything comes in its due time. Enjoy each age you are at for its own goodness, with its relative freedoms and responsibilities. Every age can make you happy if you let it. :)

Going back to your ex.... It's not his bipolar that worries me. Sure it can be a little bit of a roller coaster, but bipolar people are not evil. We can be very nice, very sensitive, very friendly goodhearted people who will be good to you. It's the psychopathy that worries me. We are talking about lack of conscience, manipulation, callousness, willingness to hurt you (at least emotionally if not physically), Machiavellianism, narcissism, gas lighting--basically, using and abusing you, because to him you are only worth what he can get out of you. The bipolar just lends a crazy edge to it. Psychopaths, even if they are functional (meaning non-criminal) are PREDATORS and you, my dear, are his prey. Don't kid yourself for one moment. Be glad that you got out as soon as you did.

Many moons ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I was in the university, I read a short story. There was a girl who lived in a small town and was absolutely dying to escape it she was so dog gone bored. One day a young man drives up in a really slick sports car with the top down and the chrome all shined up. His clothes were cool, and his hair was all slicked back. Hey baby, he says to her... You can kind of guess how it goes. He promises her the world trying to get her to get in the car with him. She almost does. But something in her intuition tells her it's dangerous, so she turns him down. He says, suit yourself, and drives away. She starts to walk home with the uncanny feeling that she just narrowly escaped.

Satan always looks attractive, and he always promises us what we think we want, but never really delivers.

Lol I agree, I always hear about how I will someday long for these days, and I always try to keep that in mind.

Thank you for the insight and advice. You are right :)

Yes, his psychopathy is what scared me too. A part of me wanted to believe that I could handle his darkness, but at the be of the day I would say to myself, “maybe I’m too innocent...and that’s ok.”

About that story...sounds just like what happened to me. The first thought I even got when I first met my ex was, “The devil wasn’t some ugly red horned creature, he looked like a beautiful angel.” And I knew that’s just what He was. He wore a mask that didn’t fool me, but I chose to stay ignorant.

That’s true about the devil and it’s true through the psychopaths he controls too. They never fully deliver, and never will. It’s always some, but never enough.

Again, thank you for your insight and conversation :)
 
Upvote 0

Purity Clarity Parkes

Active Member
Jun 4, 2017
69
66
34
Melbourne
✟15,369.00
Country
Australia
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I am having major anxiety tonight because I am overwhelmed by the meaninglessness of life. If you read Ecclesiastes in the Bible, you will see that the ultimate maximum level of wisdom that God has allowed humans to comprehend and have on the earth, is that it's all meaningless. Everything comes to nothing, we all die, that's it. That's what Solomon concludes. So I'm looking around today at everyone while I'm in school like..."Does anyone else think about this?? Does anyone else think about how we could die tomorrow? Is anyone else thinking about the depths of outer space, about God's creation?" There's like this deeper level of something that I'm understanding and no one else is, all of my friends hate conversation like that. No one wants to go deep, everyone just wants to live their petty normal lives. Which I have nothing against, I like a normal life too. But lately I'm overwhelmed by this revelation...Is there anyone out there who thinks like this too? And not just sort of. All of the time. Like, you're a philosopher or whatever you might call it. If you are, thank you for letting me know I'm not alone in this, and pleeeeease hit me up. Let's be friends. Let's talk. :D I love to engage in really deep conversation like this and I looove when people ask me my opinion on really deep topics about God and stuff or ask me questions.

Ohh...Introductions. Sorry I got carried away. My name is Eliza, I'm in college and I'm going to be 19 on the 7th. Nice to meet you :)

Edit: Thanks for the replies. I hear what you all are saying. I should have worded my post better. I do know that God and His way are the main focal point of this life. This life isn't totally meaningless, because our meaning comes in Jesus Christ, our Savior. But..As we are on this earth, we can have the knowledge, wisdom and understanding to know that nothing matters on this earth (except GOD). And that drives me crazy!! The thought is insane...It's beautiful, it's so deep, and it overwhelms me completely! I'm not really looking into the scripture about it guys,(That doesn't mean I'm not reading the scripture guys, don't get me wrong.) I'm just thinking more on the revelation. Or...realization, I should call it. That's what I want to talk about. Nothing under the sun is new, that's what the Bible also says. So all of these humans just keep repeating the same patterns over and over, get a job, have a family, etc etc, but then they are struck with DEATH. Which no one can comprehend fully or understand or wants to acknowledge or think about. Except for me (or so it seems), and I am tired of not having anyone to talk to about this! So again, if you think like this too, I will be so glad to talk with you. Message me!
I am here. You may engage in a conversation with me whenever I am in the ‘Chat’ section of Christian Forums. I too, have been wanting to discuss similar things with the people around me. The problem is, aside from my other personalities, I have no one who can ever understand my line of thought. I would happily talk with you any day.
Yours Sincerely~
~Purity Clarity Parkes.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

ElizaR123

Active Member
Nov 28, 2017
30
14
25
Colorado
✟17,118.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I am here. You may engage in a conversation with me whenever I am in the ‘Chat’ section of Christian Forums. I too, have been wanting to discuss similar things with the people around me. The problem is, aside from my other personalities, I have no one who can ever understand my line of thought. I would happily talk with you any day.
Yours Sincerely~
~Purity Clarity Parkes.

Ok thanks! Nice to meet you! :) I would love to hear your line of thought. What do you mean by other personalities, might I ask?
 
Upvote 0