- Sep 11, 2006
- 3,698
- 425
- Country
- United States
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- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
I read about 2 or 3 years back that 40% of American households have a working woman. I don’t know if those households all contain a man or if single moms are factored in... the point is, the scenario where the wife can’t just stay at home is getting more and more common.
I never sought to be a stay-at-Home wife. I didn’t really want kids. So frankly, that idea sounds totally boring.
If I had married a man with money and drive for success, I would have taken the opportunity to use my free time to learn Yoga, surf, maybe train for CrossFit and most importantly of all... volunteer with a Church.
Instead I married a man who was diagnosed with PTSD and released from the military just months before I met him, and our entire 20’s as we dated and eventually married, he was going to school off and on and trying to figure out how to get healthy and get a good future he liked. He always got a paycheck from the VA. For 6 of those years, I had a job at a bank and my paycheck matched his since I was just a teller. Where we were foolish was with credit cards. We lived well outside our means when it came to clothing and dates and vacation... but I always needed a job. And always had one.
And because being a student paid him instead of costing him, I never felt like it was unfair. We were equals.
It’s just that he was going to get some degree and the Va was going to place him in a job and I was going to work my way up like my father had.
Neither happened.
Now I’m working at Target 4 days a week and a shop in the tourist district 2 long days a week, totaling around 50 hours with no benefits and no vacation time. And only one day off. I miss my 9-5 so much it might as well count as a bad breakup. Pretty much all the songs written about someone who pines for a lost lover could apply to me and my lost 9-5.
My husband, on the other hand, has dropped out and accepts only his basic VA check. He won’t get a job. He won’t go back to school. He talks about starting a business himself but his ideas are too poorly organized right now.
And even though 40% of us are in this same boat, I feel very alone.
I’m fighting hard to regain a 9-5. I’m also fighting to keep Target because it’s technically seasonal and set to end after Christmas. If they keep me, it will be a little mini triumph but a failure at the same time... I don’t want To go through all of 2018 with two jobs, late nights and no vacation unless I forfeit the money. With a chapter 7 looming on the horizon, getting back into banking is nearly impossible. My only hope now is a call center type job with a non-bank company.
That Johnny cash song “hurt” plays on repeat in my head.
I never sought to be a stay-at-Home wife. I didn’t really want kids. So frankly, that idea sounds totally boring.
If I had married a man with money and drive for success, I would have taken the opportunity to use my free time to learn Yoga, surf, maybe train for CrossFit and most importantly of all... volunteer with a Church.
Instead I married a man who was diagnosed with PTSD and released from the military just months before I met him, and our entire 20’s as we dated and eventually married, he was going to school off and on and trying to figure out how to get healthy and get a good future he liked. He always got a paycheck from the VA. For 6 of those years, I had a job at a bank and my paycheck matched his since I was just a teller. Where we were foolish was with credit cards. We lived well outside our means when it came to clothing and dates and vacation... but I always needed a job. And always had one.
And because being a student paid him instead of costing him, I never felt like it was unfair. We were equals.
It’s just that he was going to get some degree and the Va was going to place him in a job and I was going to work my way up like my father had.
Neither happened.
Now I’m working at Target 4 days a week and a shop in the tourist district 2 long days a week, totaling around 50 hours with no benefits and no vacation time. And only one day off. I miss my 9-5 so much it might as well count as a bad breakup. Pretty much all the songs written about someone who pines for a lost lover could apply to me and my lost 9-5.
My husband, on the other hand, has dropped out and accepts only his basic VA check. He won’t get a job. He won’t go back to school. He talks about starting a business himself but his ideas are too poorly organized right now.
And even though 40% of us are in this same boat, I feel very alone.
I’m fighting hard to regain a 9-5. I’m also fighting to keep Target because it’s technically seasonal and set to end after Christmas. If they keep me, it will be a little mini triumph but a failure at the same time... I don’t want To go through all of 2018 with two jobs, late nights and no vacation unless I forfeit the money. With a chapter 7 looming on the horizon, getting back into banking is nearly impossible. My only hope now is a call center type job with a non-bank company.
That Johnny cash song “hurt” plays on repeat in my head.