Get up with the Lord Jesus; get out and invest, purchase Omega 3 take one am/pm, oil for the brain, pick up Magnesium and take one am/pm calming of the muscles and nerves; take B12 am only, eat with 1/2 banana, B's need to piggy back on whole foods, increase levels of energy.
KNOW your thoughts are not alone, stop the internal chatter, axe your thoughts, cut them off, don't try and finish them; go straight to the Lord and say "I'm doing it again." ask him on purpose to help you stop the cycle of abuse.
The mind is divided; left side is the soul -- right side is the spirit. Do the research.
Left side is in darkness and Jesus Christ is there; right side is where the Holy Spirit is with power. Start to work out your thoughts with JC and the HS by self correcting each day along the way, no more guilt and shame, confess to Jesus and he'll let you know there's no secrets with him. It's the thoughts that effect our bodies and minds, straighten them out on the path called light. The little seedling shoots up to the light while it puts down good roots.
Don't be hard on yourself, take a mental break; tell yourself within "I'm taking a break" and let those thoughts that are circling drop down to the ground. Know the Lord Jesus never works with guilt or shame so when you feel or think these, know this is not from him.
You're not alone, The Holy Spirit is with you, she's wisdom and knows what its like to be in darkness, light can't be in darkness, that's why we need wisdom; she helps the root grow strong and healthy and you need the root to help you grow up.
Remember you are loved, no matter what. Forgive when every you feel anger or hate, those two make a vicious circle. Remember to also forgive yourself, treat yourself as a small child and follow the Lord. Left and right walk to the Father.
Remember good food is healthy colours, stay away from processed foods! Check out dopamine foods and know 95% of serotonin is formed in your gut -- serotonin is the crown of peace upon your head and heart; check out cooking video's and make your food body healthy.
M