- Apr 19, 2007
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i dont know where to start ...some of you might remember my post in christian advice about being a Christian Buddhist i want to go down this path but i feel like am being made to go with just Christianity ...my husband is Christian and became Christian because of me we go to church every Sunday and we get involved in the church i dont want to give up the church but i dont feel like i can cope with out the Buddhism every time io try and go on without the Buddhism i feel suicidal and upset without i dont care about myself anymore because i have to keep everyone else happy all my life i have done things to makes others happy and not myself am 40 years old and av never had anything the way i want it my wedding was what my mother wanted me to do my husband is the only thing i have in my life i have no children and will have none i want to do things that would make me happy i feel so bad not following what i want to follow i feel like hurting myself and taking an OD my mental health problems with voices and seeing thing and i have OCD normally most of the time my husband is with me most of the time i spend most of my days with my husband and friends at groups for people with mental health problem some of them run by my pastor who is very against me mixing faith together i see him once a month to talk about things as i have no one else to talk to my friends also says it a bad idea i want to do this i feel so bad me not doing it also me and my husband have been fighting over this so much but he now says to do what ever makes me happy its just if my pastor find out i am doing this i will have to explain to him
i dont have the words to fight him or at lest for him to understand my husband says he will not tell him unless i become mentally unwell because of this and mixing myself up with it
i want to do what i feel is right
i hope it was ok for me to post this here my last post was locked because i posted it in the christian advice id like non christian advice now
i dont have the words to fight him or at lest for him to understand my husband says he will not tell him unless i become mentally unwell because of this and mixing myself up with it
i want to do what i feel is right
i hope it was ok for me to post this here my last post was locked because i posted it in the christian advice id like non christian advice now