Time to air dirty laundry in public?

Yoona86

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as Christians we are told over and over again to leave things for Christ to deal with

but what happens when you are dealing with a person in authority who consistently use their position of power to settle personal scores just because they know they can get away with it and is or are getting away with it?

especially if they are Christians who knows the Truth and suppose to act with a degree of shame?

forgiveness is essential obviously, because carrying unforgiveness only destroy us.

However , does forgiveness on our part means we stay passive and allow those Christians in authority to keep hurting others? assuming confronting them is not going to work because that approach has already been tried and failed partly because this Christian is not accountable to anyone as he or she is in the ultimate authority within this organization or the owner of the organization?
 

joshua 1 9

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Jesus lived His life as an example for us to follow. One thing He did was to drive the money changers out of the temple. He had a zeal for the Holiness and Sanctification of His Fathers House.

Matthew 21

12 Then Jesus went into the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those selling doves. 13 And He declared to them, “It is written: ‘My house will be called a house of prayer.’ But you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’” 14 The blind and the lame came to Him at the temple, and He healed them.…
 
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Yoona86

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Jesus lived His life as an example for us to follow. One thing He did was to drive the money changers out of the temple. He had a zeal for the Holiness and Sanctification of His Fathers House.

Matthew 21

12 Then Jesus went into the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those selling doves. 13 And He declared to them, “It is written: ‘My house will be called a house of prayer.’ But you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’” 14 The blind and the lame came to Him at the temple, and He healed them.…

so you agree that there are times when airing dirty laundry in public is ok?
 
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joshua 1 9

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so you agree that there are times when airing dirty laundry in public is ok?
Luke 8: 17 For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.

Matthew 5 "14 You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a basket. Instead, they set it on a lampstand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."
 
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Norbert L

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as Christians we are told over and over again to leave things for Christ to deal with

but what happens when you are dealing with a person in authority who consistently use their position of power to settle personal scores just because they know they can get away with it and is or are getting away with it?

especially if they are Christians who knows the Truth and suppose to act with a degree of shame?

forgiveness is essential obviously, because carrying unforgiveness only destroy us.

However , does forgiveness on our part means we stay passive and allow those Christians in authority to keep hurting others? assuming confronting them is not going to work because that approach has already been tried and failed partly because this Christian is not accountable to anyone as he or she is in the ultimate authority within this organization or the owner of the organization?
In order to find the answer, you would need to be in that same position of authority first, which in practical terms isn't likely to happen. I would consider Jesus' example.

On one hand a woman caught in adultery is forgiven and on the other Ananias and Sapphira are executed. Life and its' decisions aren't as clear as we'd like. I just say be careful that you don't become the thing you are fighting against.
 
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Dave G.

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Holy Spirit let me see that person ( you insert the name) through your eyes rather than my own eyes.. And then interact more closely, when you can, with that person. Somehow you learn the ropes of dealing with them through Him.

I survived 44 years with various would be tyrants that way, certainly not on my own merit and yet three became good bosses for me. But every one of those who threatened me were long gone before I was. My last two years were basically unopposed and the company by this point now owned by a huge corporation vs small franchise, and then I retired. I made it all those years, decades and not because I deserved it. But I can look back and see where my protection came from. People could say wasn't that a lucky break, or wow by chance this happened. No it's God, He has more control over things in your life than you know..

Holy Spirit, let me see that person through your eyes. I also prayed more times about how I don't understand this situation, my answer was always just keep going there. It doesn't even make any sense, except that I had a family with 5 kids to raise and I am a child of God with Holy Spirit protection. And I just kept going there and in my field I wasn't going to do a whole lot better than what that job provided. He is so faithful I can't describe it all. The words of the song "Never Once" are so true.
 
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A_Thinker

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as Christians we are told over and over again to leave things for Christ to deal with

but what happens when you are dealing with a person in authority who consistently use their position of power to settle personal scores just because they know they can get away with it and is or are getting away with it?

especially if they are Christians who knows the Truth and suppose to act with a degree of shame?

forgiveness is essential obviously, because carrying unforgiveness only destroy us.

However , does forgiveness on our part means we stay passive and allow those Christians in authority to keep hurting others? assuming confronting them is not going to work because that approach has already been tried and failed partly because this Christian is not accountable to anyone as he or she is in the ultimate authority within this organization or the owner of the organization?

I grew up in a church where the pastor would occasionally abuse his power and hurt some within the congregation. Many persons were driven from the church as he would never lose a confrontation. He was, effectively, impossible to oppose.

The church had tried to call him to account on one occasion early in his pastorate, and he put a large swath of members out of the church.

When I came of age, I looked to the scriptures and concluded that the Biblical guidance, in such a case, was to leave such a situation.

2 Timothy 3

1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

3 Without natural affection, truce breakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

4 Traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

This pastor didn't embody ALL of these characteristics, but some of them he did. So ... I decided that I would leave the congregation, ... but this pastor ended up retiring first.

But even today, the church suffers from the abuse that was inflicted ...
 
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ValleyGal

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No one should ever abuse their position of power or authority. If you remain passive about it, then you are letting it happen. How you handle it will depend on the type of power and authoritative position. Dealing with a spouse is much different than dealing with the police officer who is writing you a ticket for speeding 1 km over the limit. Dealing with a pastor is much different than dealing with a boss, etc. Context matters. It also matters whether the abuser is a Christian.

Imo, get the book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. There is a biblical reason we should have boundaries, and the book sets out what our responsibility is when it comes to how people treat us - and how we treat others. In addition, consider talking with the person about your issues with their abuse of power (think of how to phrase it so they do not become defensive). If they don't listen to you, take the issue in confidence to your pastor. If they still won't listen, the pastor will know how to deal with it from there.
 
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Yoona86

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Luke 8: 17 For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.

Matthew 5 "14 You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a basket. Instead, they set it on a lampstand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

ok....

sounds like you are advocating the waiting for God approach then?

because mine understanding of Luke 8:17 is that God is righteous and in His own time, and that could very well be on the judgement day, that He will reveals all truth and right all wrongs. In another word, that passage is not referring that we should try to right the wrong ourselves
 
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Yoona86

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I grew up in a church where the pastor would occasionally abuse his power and hurt some within the congregation. Many persons were driven from the church as he would never lose a confrontation. He was, effectively, impossible to oppose.

The church had tried to call him to account on one occasion early in his pastorate, and he put a large swath of members out of the church.

When I came of age, I looked to the scriptures and concluded that the Biblical guidance, in such a case, was to leave such a situation.

2 Timothy 3

1 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

3 Without natural affection, truce breakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

4 Traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

This pastor didn't embody ALL of these characteristics, but some of them he did. So ... I decided that I would leave the congregation, ... but this pastor ended up retiring first.

But even today, the church suffers from the abuse that was inflicted ...

sorry to hear this

this kind of things happens so often in church it is staggering.

it hurts me just to hear how people are being treated this way.

i think it is good at least attempts have been made to address this pastor's behaviors, and even if they failed
 
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Yoona86

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Holy Spirit let me see that person ( you insert the name) through your eyes rather than my own eyes.. And then interact more closely, when you can, with that person. Somehow you learn the ropes of dealing with them through Him.

I survived 44 years with various would be tyrants that way, certainly not on my own merit and yet three became good bosses for me. But every one of those who threatened me were long gone before I was. My last two years were basically unopposed and the company by this point now owned by a huge corporation vs small franchise, and then I retired. I made it all those years, decades and not because I deserved it. But I can look back and see where my protection came from. People could say wasn't that a lucky break, or wow by chance this happened. No it's God, He has more control over things in your life than you know..

Holy Spirit, let me see that person through your eyes. I also prayed more times about how I don't understand this situation, my answer was always just keep going there. It doesn't even make any sense, except that I had a family with 5 kids to raise and I am a child of God with Holy Spirit protection. And I just kept going there and in my field I wasn't going to do a whole lot better than what that job provided. He is so faithful I can't describe it all. The words of the song "Never Once" are so true.

so you mean God dealt with those tyrants himself by removing them eventually?
 
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Yoona86

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In order to find the answer, you would need to be in that same position of authority first, which in practical terms isn't likely to happen. I would consider Jesus' example.

On one hand a woman caught in adultery is forgiven and on the other Ananias and Sapphira are executed. Life and its' decisions aren't as clear as we'd like. I just say be careful that you don't become the thing you are fighting against.

that is very true, when dealing with injustices, one have to be careful not becoming the very monsters you are trying to deal with.
 
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Dave G.

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so you mean God dealt with those tyrants himself by removing them eventually?
I look at it more that He got me through and those people undid themselves with little helping hand.. At the same time I do not believe in coincidences and I do believe that in the fine details you will find Gods markings. He has a way of dealing with things we can not. Stand in the battle, we have to show up, we have read this in the old testament enough.
 
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Yoona86

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No one should ever abuse their position of power or authority. If you remain passive about it, then you are letting it happen. How you handle it will depend on the type of power and authoritative position. Dealing with a spouse is much different than dealing with the police officer who is writing you a ticket for speeding 1 km over the limit. Dealing with a pastor is much different than dealing with a boss, etc. Context matters. It also matters whether the abuser is a Christian.

Imo, get the book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. There is a biblical reason we should have boundaries, and the book sets out what our responsibility is when it comes to how people treat us - and how we treat others. In addition, consider talking with the person about your issues with their abuse of power (think of how to phrase it so they do not become defensive). If they don't listen to you, take the issue in confidence to your pastor. If they still won't listen, the pastor will know how to deal with it from there.

hello

thank you for your reply

the situation i am referring to in this thread in this situation i am having with the owner of a Christian non profit i am currently working for.

basically what happened was a year ago, mine supervisor there decided to give me way too much workload that she had to know is unreasonable for someone who is working on a part time basis.

I tried to talk to her nicely, she simply ignored me and carry on as usual. i finally had enough so i made a direct complaint to the owner.

the owner was polite the first time i talked to him, but he also brushed off mine concern. When i tried to reiterate to him why what this woman was doing was unacceptable, he himself ignored me and refuse to address her behavior.

i have to admit i was really disappointed because i know this owner is a born again believer, i naively thought that even if he is not a fair person, he should at least have some reverence for the Lord, but i was wrong.

the situation continued, at some point i got angry, and i fired off email to him informing him if the situation does not improve i planned to get contact and employment lawyers and sort this out. ( i admit the email itself was not particularly friendly, but by then i have already tried that and he basically enabled his own staff to continue to be bully. Nevertheless the tone of the email was completely professional)

again he ignored me and from that points onward, he appears to hold a grudge against me and would try to make mine life difficult at every term.....
 
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Yoona86

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I look at it more that He got me through and those people undid themselves with little helping hand.. At the same time I do not believe in coincidences and I do believe that in the fine details you will find Gods markings. He has a way of dealing with things we can not. Stand in the battle, we have to show up, we have read this in the old testament enough.


sign....

the question is how long do we have to wait before God do something about it? a few years? ten years? twenty years?

and in the mean time keep allowing those people to bring destruction into our lives as well as destroy many others along the way?

the problems with bullies is that they will never stop on their own accord until they receive consequences for their evil behaviors.
 
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Citizen of the Kingdom

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sign....

the question is how long do we have to wait before God do something about it? a few years? ten years? twenty years?

and in the mean time keep allowing those people to bring destruction into our lives as well as destroy many others along the way?

the problems with bullies is that they will never stop on their own accord until they receive consequences for their evil behaviors.
What could be worse than an eternity for consequences? Let's face it someone has risen from the grave to tell them but they are not about to willingly listen.
 
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Yoona86

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What could be worse than an eternity for consequences? Let's face it someone has risen from the grave to tell them but they are not about to willingly listen.

yes, but if the bullies are born again believers, then they already have eternal salvation in the bag as we are saved by faith not by work.

anyway, i have Church bullies who destroy others over and over again, i always feel like what are we going to do about it as bystanders.
 
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Citizen of the Kingdom

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yes, but if the bullies are born again believers, then they already have eternal salvation in the bag as we are saved by faith not by work.

anyway, i have Church bullies who destroy others over and over again, i always feel like what are we going to do about it as bystanders.
Find another church for starters. They can't bully you if you aren't there. Salvation is the one thing that is the denarius for the days work that is given to all. My thought is that we're all given full salvation to start with but we sell it off bit by bit for instant gratification. I think loss of rewards will be worn for eternity for all to see. No emperors clothes there. That may or may not be justification as I see it ;)
 
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yes, but if the bullies are born again believers, then they already have eternal salvation in the bag as we are saved by faith not by work.

anyway, i have Church bullies who destroy others over and over again, i always feel like what are we going to do about it as bystanders.

How can two walk together unless they be in agreement....so how are those "bullies" in agreement with the Lord when they behaving like that?
The Lord say that His sheep hear His voice and obey it.
 
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