Dating within Church

[Godspurpose07]

God Bless!!
I am new here and I was hoping to get some advice. A guy started coming to my church and a couple months ago we started taking. I am 30 and he is 32 but he has 2 daughters from a previous relationship. I have grown to really care about him but I am afraid that people won’t accept our relationship because he has kids. How do I know if this is a relationship approved by God? Can I ask God for a sign or how do I pray on this? I don’t want to invest time in liking him more if we are not meant to be. Thanks for the advice in advance.

 

[dogs4thewin]

Welcome to CF. As for the daughters there are PLENTY of step-parents out there ( if it got to that point) that have great and Godly relationships. People make mistakes, and it may well be the prior relationship ended for a good reason and/or that the man did not want it to end and his former partner ended it.

 

[Dave-W]

How do I know if this is a relationship approved by God?

The only scriptural guidance on that is to marry in the Faith. (and that he is not a close relative)

Can I ask God for a sign or how do I pray on this?

"Signs" usually do not work. Pray for God to show you or other close friends (mature believers) if there are problems with him or areas of serious incompatibility between you two.

 

[RaymondG]

What is it that you want? Figure out what you want and God will give you the desires of your heart. It is best to pray for the qualities and life you want to have in and with a man, rather than praying for a specific person. God is not the ultimate dating site. He gives you want you ask for.

 

[Tigger45]

Glad you decided to join us! You may get more response to your situation by starting a thread here > Christian Advice or here > Singles (Only*)

 

[Godspurpose07]

What is it that you want? Figure out what you want and God will give you the desires of your heart. It is best to pray for the qualities and life you want to have in and with a man, rather than praying for a specific person. God is not the ultimate dating site. He gives you want you ask for.

I have talked to several people and they have told me that there is no point in praying for someone if it’s not who God chose for you then it will never work out. I am 30 years old and I want to invest in a relationship that will end up in marriage but I want to do things according to God’s will. This guy has the qualities I want in a man and he’s Christian and I just want it to work out

 

[Endeavourer]

I have grown to really care about him but I am afraid that people won’t accept our relationship because he has kids.

If I were him, I'd be very concerned that you were not ready for marriage, and for becoming one together, if what other people think has a very strong influence on you.

Reading Galatians 3 - 5 over and over might help you understand that your liberty is in Christ alone, and that your relationship with your Savior binds your conscience in accordance with his Word - and not other people.

How do I know if this is a relationship approved by God? Can I ask God for a sign or how do I pray on this? I don’t want to invest time in liking him more if we are not meant to be. Thanks for the advice in advance.

I would suggest that marriages are approved by God when they are equally yoked and when both spouses work the fruits of the Spirit that they received when their hearts were converted with salvation out into the marriage.

I believe God chooses, endorses and desires marital behaviors more so than having chosen a particular man out there for you. I believe God knows who your mate will be, but you could have a wonderful marriage with a number of different men who will treat you with a tender heart and fruitful behaviors.

What do you think about this article on choosing your mate?

Choosing the Right One to Marry #2[/QUOTE]

 

[Endeavourer]

I have talked to several people and they have told me that there is no point in praying for someone if it’s not who God chose for you then it will never work out.

Where is this in the Bible????

Thus the need to know what you believe and why you believe it without being tossed around by other people's made-up doctrines.

 

[Godspurpose07]

Where is this in the Bible????

Thus the need to know what you believe and why you believe it without being tossed around by other people's made-up doctrines.

Thanks everyone for the responses. I’m starting to see a little light in this situation. I think I am getting caught up on what people think and what they are telling me. Those that I have asked advice to have told me that because I don’t have kids that God’s will is not for me to be with someone who already has them and that unless God tells me that this guy is the one he chose for me that I should not be dating him or even taking to him.

 

[RaymondG]

I have talked to several people and they have told me that there is no point in praying for someone if it’s not who God chose for you then it will never work out. I am 30 years old and I want to invest in a relationship that will end up in marriage but I want to do things according to God’s will. This guy has the qualities I want in a man and he’s Christian and I just want it to work out

Well I tell you that there is no point in praying if you don't know how to pray. Once you learn, whatsoever you ask in his name will be given you....with no exceptions. Then you will only have to spend time making sure you really want what you are about to ask for. If you desire to be in a good relationship that leads to a good marriage, ask God for exactly that. If you want this man you are currently with, ask God for him. And note, that these two requests are not the same.....although the end result could be. I don't care which request you make, and God won't either......But be prepared to live with the consequences of what you asked for....be it "good" or "bad."

 

[Endeavourer]

Those that I have asked advice to have told me that because I don’t have kids that God’s will is not for me to be with someone who already has them and that unless God tells me that this guy is the one he chose for me that I should not be dating him or even taking to him.

Matt 15:9 But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.

Nothing they said is in the Bible. So glad you are seeing that now.

Do you like his children? How old are they? Have you tried to correct them yet, and if you do, how does your boyfriend take it?