Question guys...I'm kind of stuck in a sticky situation between bf's side and my family's side. We have been officially together for nearly 1.5 years and started dating with the intention of marriage. At this point, it's not really about 'if' but rather more so about 'when'. I'm in my mid twenties and he is approaching thirties. Both are full time employed with stable jobs and he did buy a house a while ago (so financially we are not broke). We've been in touch with each other's family over the course of the past year.
My parents: want to know where we are heading in terms of the near future so they can plan their schedule. They want us to get married soon and are concerned because I'm apparently at the peak of my child bearing age. So they kind of want to know that I'm not getting stringed along (which I'm certain I'm not) and want a clearer response from my bf about what he is intending to do with our relationship. They believe there's nothing wrong with prompting him without telling him to get married or anything.
My bf: he is cautious and responsible type - wants to pray about this before moving ahead with the timeline and next season of our relationship, which I appreciate very much. But as to how exactly God will make it clear to him when the right timing is, he hasn't really explained it to me. I consider him a godly man and I know he is serious about this relationship. His mum has been unwell physically for quite some time (in terms of tiredness, headache and dizziness) and I believe he wants to delay the timing of marriage because of this since he does most of the helping out around the house compared to other siblings. My parents find it difficult to accept this as the reason though. He did mention that we should get married soon but it's kind of on/off in terms of him actually seriously talking about it or putting things into action.
Me: I don't want him to propose or do anything due to external pressure (and he's been getting these questions from many people already including his grandparents, family, friends, mentors etc) because it can backfire later when it isn't primarily motivated by his own desires and free will. I think it's pretty clear that he doesn't want to get married in the next few months because if he did, he would do it on his own accord? I've come to terms with waiting and want to give him this opportunity to initiate and lead our relationship - and trust that God will lead him in this area. I'm not in a hurry to have kids either. My parents on the other hand, think I'm too passive and tolerant.
I don't know whether I should put my foot down and set some boundaries with my parents at this stage? - i.e. respectfully telling them not to interfere. Or should I allow them to be involved in this case and gently nudge him?
My parents: want to know where we are heading in terms of the near future so they can plan their schedule. They want us to get married soon and are concerned because I'm apparently at the peak of my child bearing age. So they kind of want to know that I'm not getting stringed along (which I'm certain I'm not) and want a clearer response from my bf about what he is intending to do with our relationship. They believe there's nothing wrong with prompting him without telling him to get married or anything.
My bf: he is cautious and responsible type - wants to pray about this before moving ahead with the timeline and next season of our relationship, which I appreciate very much. But as to how exactly God will make it clear to him when the right timing is, he hasn't really explained it to me. I consider him a godly man and I know he is serious about this relationship. His mum has been unwell physically for quite some time (in terms of tiredness, headache and dizziness) and I believe he wants to delay the timing of marriage because of this since he does most of the helping out around the house compared to other siblings. My parents find it difficult to accept this as the reason though. He did mention that we should get married soon but it's kind of on/off in terms of him actually seriously talking about it or putting things into action.
Me: I don't want him to propose or do anything due to external pressure (and he's been getting these questions from many people already including his grandparents, family, friends, mentors etc) because it can backfire later when it isn't primarily motivated by his own desires and free will. I think it's pretty clear that he doesn't want to get married in the next few months because if he did, he would do it on his own accord? I've come to terms with waiting and want to give him this opportunity to initiate and lead our relationship - and trust that God will lead him in this area. I'm not in a hurry to have kids either. My parents on the other hand, think I'm too passive and tolerant.
I don't know whether I should put my foot down and set some boundaries with my parents at this stage? - i.e. respectfully telling them not to interfere. Or should I allow them to be involved in this case and gently nudge him?
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