Hello from Canada!

[DreadfulLullaby]

Hi There! I just joined and I'd like to introduce myself.

My name is Steph. I am 22 years old and I live in Canada. I work as a professional horse trainer, and I own two horses of my own, so it's safe to say my life has been taken over by horses!

I also have four rabbits and a cat... I really like animals lol!

Anyway, I was actually drawn here for a specific reason. My husband and I got married just over a year ago, but about two weeks before our anniversary, he announced that he doesn't love me anymore, and wants a divorce.

The whole story is very similar to many others I have come across who are standing for their marriages. He has moved out, cut off all communication, and I have reason to believe quite strongly that he is seeing another women on some level (although at this point I am not 100 percent certain). He is also struggling with depression, and believes he might also be bi-polar. He acknowledges these issues, and yet he has still chosen to leave. It's all very confusing, but then, that is one of the devil's favourite weapons.

What makes our situation a little different from most though, I think, is his mother. Although not a professing Christian, my husband has been taking a great interest in the Lord, ever since he requested to come to church with me for the first time, about six months into dating. His mother however, does NOT know God. My husband and his brother have different fathers, both of which are long gone. She has been married in the past but it did not last. She is currently single, and has never shown my husband a strong, healthy relationship. I believe this contributes to our problem.

She is also VERY manipulative, she is borderline emotionally abusive, and she is extremely attached to my husband. They have always had an extremely unhealthy relationship. She has been working very hard since we got married, to convince him to leave me, and go back to live with her. He would deny all of this. He is blind to her.

So, that is where I'm at. I am here hoping to both find and offer encouragement. I hope to find others in similar situations, so we can help each other through it all, and I would love to pray for other standers and their prodigals.

Thanks for reading!

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Hello! Welcome to CF! And I'm sorry for the difficulties in your life right now.

 

[miamited]

Hi dreadfullullaby,

Welcome to CF. I hope that you can find some support here, but of course, I'm not particularly big on people on some website forum being able to be particularly helpful as compared to a real life friend that you can really spend some time with. Having said all that...

It's a difficult situation you're in. The Scriptures warn us against divorce, but Paul does allow that if an unbeliever wants to leave that we can let them. So, hopefully you'll take that advice since it doesn't really come from me, but from the Scriptures. I only have your testimony of the issue, but if what you say is true, yes, you likely chose a spouse who really wasn't mature enough to be ready to go out in the world and live his life. I know it's probably heartbreaking, but it is what it is. You can be praying for him. I would suggest that you don't approach mom with your thinking because if he's like you say he is, you'll likely just be making the problem worse.

Sadly, there are parents who grow to love their children in ways that aren't particularly helpful for them. Most parents prepare themselves for the day when their children will leave and handle it pretty well, but not all of them. I remember when my son started college, preparing myself that he wasn't going to be around much anymore was something that I had to begin to understand. Likely, your MIL being alone doesn't help her ability to cope with the loss.

However, your suspicion that he's having an affair would mean that this isn't about his overbearing and controlling mother so much as it is about a young man who really didn't understand what he was doing when he entered into marriage.

I will pray that it all works out well for you.

God bless you,
In Christ, ted

 

[DreadfulLullaby]

Hello! Welcome to CF! And I'm sorry for the difficulties in your life right now.

Thank you

 

[DreadfulLullaby]

Hi dreadfullullaby,

Welcome to CF. I hope that you can find some support here, but of course, I'm not particularly big on people on some website forum being able to be particularly helpful as compared to a real life friend that you can really spend some time with. Having said all that...

It's a difficult situation you're in. The Scriptures warn us against divorce, but Paul does allow that if an unbeliever wants to leave that we can let them. So, hopefully you'll take that advice since it doesn't really come from me, but from the Scriptures. I only have your testimony of the issue, but if what you say is true, yes, you likely chose a spouse who really wasn't mature enough to be ready to go out in the world and live his life. I know it's probably heartbreaking, but it is what it is. You can be praying for him. I would suggest that you don't approach mom with your thinking because if he's like you say he is, you'll likely just be making the problem worse.

Sadly, there are parents who grow to love their children in ways that aren't particularly helpful for them. Most parents prepare themselves for the day when their children will leave and handle it pretty well, but not all of them. I remember when my son started college, preparing myself that he wasn't going to be around much anymore was something that I had to begin to understand. Likely, your MIL being alone doesn't help her ability to cope with the loss.

However, your suspicion that he's having an affair would mean that this isn't about his overbearing and controlling mother so much as it is about a young man who really didn't understand what he was doing when he entered into marriage.

I will pray that it all works out well for you.

God bless you,
In Christ, ted

Hi Ted,

Thank you for all of the advice. I do have some real life friends who I am leaning on, I'm Just looking to see what else I can find!

And yes, I am well aware of the scriptures about unbelieving spouses, and I have definitely thought and prayed about it, but I believe God is calling me to stand for this marriage rather than move on from it. If that changes I will be trusting God to show me the right thing to do.

I also know it is not all about his mother, but her stronghold and bad example is not helping anything at all, that's all I'm saying!

Again thank you! You have given me something to think about.

 

[“Paisios”]

Not sure I have any good advice on your marital issues, but I hope there will be some here who can relate and provide some wisdom, and I'd like to welcome you here to CF. I know you will find support here and people willing to pray for you and with you in this time of trial.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Hi and welcome here.

 

[DreadfulLullaby]

Not sure I have any good advice on your marital issues, but I hope there will be some here who can relate and provide some wisdom, and I'd like to welcome you here to CF. I know you will find support here and people willing to pray for you and with you in this time of trial.

No problem, I appreciate the welcome! I do hope to connect with at least a few people

 

[DreadfulLullaby]

Hi and welcome here.

Thank you!

 

[miamited]

Hi Ted,

Thank you for all of the advice. I do have some real life friends who I am leaning on, I'm Just looking to see what else I can find!

And yes, I am well aware of the scriptures about unbelieving spouses, and I have definitely thought and prayed about it, but I believe God is calling me to stand for this marriage rather than move on from it. If that changes I will be trusting God to show me the right thing to do.

I also know it is not all about his mother, but her stronghold and bad example is not helping anything at all, that's all I'm saying!

Again thank you! You have given me something to think about.

Hi dreadfullullaby,

Well, for my part, I applaud you for standing with God as to how you want to continue, as best you can, in preserving your marriage. I also agree with you that if things with the MIL are as you say they are (and I'm not saying that you aren't being truthful, but I've learned to always allow for the other side of the story), then she isn't being helpful to the marriage. In fact she is breaking a command of God regarding marriage. What God has joined, let no man put asunder. Most marriage ceremonies start off asking the question that if there is anyone who thinks the marriage isn't a good idea that they should either speak now, or forever hold their peace. I'm going to assume that she wasn't listening during that part.

Listen, God bless you richly as you pass through this trial and I hope, for the sake of the marriage, that it can be overcome.

God bless you,
In Christ, ted

 

[teresa]

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Peace

 

[CatholicRose]

welcome

 

[faroukfarouk]

Hi; good to see you; so sorry about your circumstances; God bless His Word to you; John 14.1-27 and Psalm 46 are strengthening passages for the believer.

 

[mnorian]

Hi There! I just joined and I'd like to introduce myself.

My name is Steph. I am 22 years old and I live in Canada. I work as a professional horse trainer, and I own two horses of my own, so it's safe to say my life has been taken over by horses!

I also have four rabbits and a cat... I really like animals lol!

Anyway, I was actually drawn here for a specific reason. My husband and I got married just over a year ago, but about two weeks before our anniversary, he announced that he doesn't love me anymore, and wants a divorce.

The whole story is very similar to many others I have come across who are standing for their marriages. He has moved out, cut off all communication, and I have reason to believe quite strongly that he is seeing another women on some level (although at this point I am not 100 percent certain). He is also struggling with depression, and believes he might also be bi-polar. He acknowledges these issues, and yet he has still chosen to leave. It's all very confusing, but then, that is one of the devil's favourite weapons.

What makes our situation a little different from most though, I think, is his mother. Although not a professing Christian, my husband has been taking a great interest in the Lord, ever since he requested to come to church with me for the first time, about six months into dating. His mother however, does NOT know God. My husband and his brother have different fathers, both of which are long gone. She has been married in the past but it did not last. She is currently single, and has never shown my husband a strong, healthy relationship. I believe this contributes to our problem.

She is also VERY manipulative, she is borderline emotionally abusive, and she is extremely attached to my husband. They have always had an extremely unhealthy relationship. She has been working very hard since we got married, to convince him to leave me, and go back to live with her. He would deny all of this. He is blind to her.

So, that is where I'm at. I am here hoping to both find and offer encouragement. I hope to find others in similar situations, so we can help each other through it all, and I would love to pray for other standers and their prodigals.

Thanks for reading!

Steph;
welcome to CF; May the Lord Jesus guide you here as well as in the world; and may you find friends and what ever you need from the Lord here. I do have a question for you; do you like music--Praise & Worship music? Well we have a new forum here at CF just for P&W music and at the top is a directory of other Christian music threads around CF; come and take a look!

Praise and Worship Music

To The

 

[DreadfulLullaby]

Hi; good to see you; so sorry about your circumstances; God bless His Word to you; John 14.1-27 and Psalm 46 are strengthening passages for the believer.

Thank you

 

[DreadfulLullaby]

Steph;
welcome to CF; May the Lord Jesus guide you here as well as in the world; and may you find friends and what ever you need from the Lord here. I do have a question for you; do you like music--Praise & Worship music? Well we have a new forum here at CF just for P&W music and at the top is a directory of other Christian music threads around CF; come and take a look!

Praise and Worship Music

To The

Thank you very much! I do like worship music, I will definitely take a look.

 

[Gxg (G²)]

Hi There! I just joined and I'd like to introduce myself.

My name is Steph. I am 22 years old and I live in Canada. I work as a professional horse trainer, and I own two horses of my own, so it's safe to say my life has been taken over by horses!

I also have four rabbits and a cat... I really like animals lol!

Anyway, I was actually drawn here for a specific reason. My husband and I got married just over a year ago, but about two weeks before our anniversary, he announced that he doesn't love me anymore, and wants a divorce.

The whole story is very similar to many others I have come across who are standing for their marriages. He has moved out, cut off all communication, and I have reason to believe quite strongly that he is seeing another women on some level (although at this point I am not 100 percent certain). He is also struggling with depression, and believes he might also be bi-polar. He acknowledges these issues, and yet he has still chosen to leave. It's all very confusing, but then, that is one of the devil's favourite weapons.

What makes our situation a little different from most though, I think, is his mother. Although not a professing Christian, my husband has been taking a great interest in the Lord, ever since he requested to come to church with me for the first time, about six months into dating. His mother however, does NOT know God. My husband and his brother have different fathers, both of which are long gone. She has been married in the past but it did not last. She is currently single, and has never shown my husband a strong, healthy relationship. I believe this contributes to our problem.

She is also VERY manipulative, she is borderline emotionally abusive, and she is extremely attached to my husband. They have always had an extremely unhealthy relationship. She has been working very hard since we got married, to convince him to leave me, and go back to live with her. He would deny all of this. He is blind to her.

So, that is where I'm at. I am here hoping to both find and offer encouragement. I hope to find others in similar situations, so we can help each other through it all, and I would love to pray for other standers and their prodigals.

Thanks for reading!

WISHING the best

 

[Little Lantern]

Welcome to CF, Steph. May you find great fellowship and godly encouragement here! I commend you for seeking God's direction in your difficult circumstances. If you continue to obey His leading you will be victorious no matter how your marriage turns out. You are more than a conquer through Christ!