Boost Self-esteem

[woobadooba]

I have had encounters with people in the church who believe any talk about boosting self-esteem is wrong. For they believe it is a prideful thing.

What are your thoughts about boosting self-esteem? Do you believe it is contrary to God's will?
Which Scriptures do you believe are either for it or against it?

 

[Dave-W]

I have heard few scriptures in favor of it. I have heard a lot to the contrary.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I heard a preacher once say that when the Scripture says not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought--it isn't saying we shouldn't think highly of ourselves. Just not MORE highly than we ought.

If we're full of ourselves, we'll feel like we don't need God or a Savior. But if we go to the other extreme and don't have any self-esteem (voice of experience here) we're not going to use our talents much. We won't think we have any. We won't see how we can be of any use to Him.

Struggling with self-esteem myself, I often am reminded that Jesus thought I was worth it.

Besides, if people see Christians going around hating themselves and not acting like they're very happy, it's not much incentive to become one.

 

[tulc]

1 Thessalonians 5: 11
11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
tulc(anyone who tells others not to build each other up are simply wrong)

 

[grasping the after wind]

1 Thessalonians 5: 11
11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
tulc(anyone who tells others not to build each other up are simply wrong)

Building others up is not a case of SELF esteem. We should always recognize and acknowledge the real accomplishments, talents and fundamental worth of those we interact with. We also should do those things for ourselves. It only becomes a problem when we esteem ourselves and others at times when we have no legitimate reason to do so or even worse to praise ourselves and others for things that are not esteemable.

 

[Monna]

And then there are those who have such a poor self-image that they refuse, or have a very difficult time acceptinng that God sees any value in them, that He could possibly use them. People who have no self-assurance. It's one thing to know and confess you are a sinner; it's a different thing to despise yourself in spite of the fact that you are created in the image of God. To have no sense of self-worth can be crippling, and I believe is one thing that God wants to heal. God believes in us (I Cor 13) and he has plans for our personal development. That should be a cause for humility rather than pride and self-exaltation. It should be accomplanied by a realisation that his belief in us derives from the fact that he has implanted gifts within us for the collective good and they will only be developed in the right way if it is he that directs the development according to his plan and purpose.

In relation to others, God's belief in us should also be accompanied by the realisation that his love for others moves in the same direction for them - he believes in them and has plans for them. Rather than think that his plan for me is more important or greater than his plans for others, I should understand that as members of the same body, we should complement one another, mutually building up the body; not competing with each other or playing power games with one another.

 

[woobadooba]

Besides, if people see Christians going around hating themselves and not acting like they're very happy, it's not much incentive to become one.

And it's hard, if not impossible, to love your neighbor as yourself while hating yourself.

 

[Dave-W]

Luke 17:10
So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, ‘We are unworthy slaves; we have done only that which we ought to have done.’

Philippians 2:3
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.

 

[Dave-W]

And it's hard, if not impossible, to love your neighbor as yourself while hating yourself.

Which is why that one got upgraded:

John 13:34
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

 

[woobadooba]

Luke 17:10
So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, ‘We are unworthy slaves; we have done only that which we ought to have done.’

Being unworthy of something and feeling worthless are not the same. A person with low self-esteem doesn't just feel unworthy but also worthless.

 

[woobadooba]

Philippians 2:3
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.

Being prideful is not the same as recognizing your worth.

 

[grasping the after wind]

And it's hard, if not impossible, to love your neighbor as yourself while hating yourself.

Actually, wouldn't that be quite easy? One wouldn't have to do much for others at all and would be able to do all sorts of nasty stuff to them if one pleased to.
I've never come across anyone that actually hated him/herself though I've come across a few that claimed to but when one examines their actions one finds they are being dishonest about that.

 

[woobadooba]

Actually wouldn't that be quite easy?

How would it be easy to love your neighbor as yourself if you hate yourself?

 

[grasping the after wind]

How would it be easy to love your neighbor as yourself if you hate yourself?

I thought it was obvious but I added detail if you want to re read the post you quoted with my additions it may be clearer.

 

[Dave-W]

Being prideful is not the same as recognizing your worth.

Some say that. Others would disagree.

 

[woobadooba]

Some say that. Others would disagree.

It would all depend on what one means by recognizing his or her own self-worth.

 

[grasping the after wind]

It would all depend on what one means by recognizing his or her own self-worth.

Recognizing the obvious is really not something confident people spend a lot of time on. Most confident people have no lack of a sense of their self worth. The best way to build one's self esteem is to become confident and one becomes confident by accomplishment not by unearned praise. I can tell a person from sun up to sun down that they are worth just as much as anyone else but if they have doubts on that score they will not be convinced and they will suspect I keep telling them that out of pity rather than conviction because they would reason that if I really believed it I would not need to keep repeating it.

One ought not need to have a long list of accomplishment to believe they are worth as much as anyone else. All humans are valuable no matter what they can or a cannot do and no one ought to feel unworthy. Our society and in some cases our families, schools and other institutions send a different message. The answer to that is to change that message not to pretend that non accomplishments are accomplishments in order to artificially boost self esteem when that boost of self esteem is an unearned one .

 

[woobadooba]

no one ought to feel unworthy

It all depends on the circumstances. If you have earned something, then you are worthy of it. Jesus said, "the laborer is worthy of his wages" (Luke 10:7). But when it comes to other matters, such as salvation, for example, none of us are worthy of the sacrifice Jesus made for us. That's why it's called grace (Eph. 2:8-9).

 

[faroukfarouk]

I heard a preacher once say that when the Scripture says not to think of ourselves more highly than we ought--it isn't saying we shouldn't think highly of ourselves. Just not MORE highly than we ought.

If we're full of ourselves, we'll feel like we don't need God or a Savior. But if we go to the other extreme and don't have any self-esteem (voice of experience here) we're not going to use our talents much. We won't think we have any. We won't see how we can be of any use to Him.

Struggling with self-esteem myself, I often am reminded that Jesus thought I was worth it.

Besides, if people see Christians going around hating themselves and not acting like they're very happy, it's not much incentive to become one.

I think Philippians 2 is a good reminder, to remember how low the Lord Jesus stooped when He went to the Cross, 'obedient unto death'.

 

[Ron Gurley]

Love Commanded: The BIG 2!

a. #1 = Love God
#2 = Love Neighbor AS SELF
...the BIG TWO IN ORDER!...Luke 10: 25-29: Matthew 22: 37-40; Mark 12:30

#2b: SELF

Genesis 1:26
Then God (plural=elohim) said,
“Let Us make man in Our (SPIRITUAL) image,
according to Our (CHARACTER) likeness

Genesis 5:2
He created them male and female, and
He blessed them and
named them Man (MANKIND) in the day when they were created.

Psalm 139:14...I will give thanks to You,
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139:13...For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb.

Ephesians 4:16
from whom the whole body,
being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.

Philippians 2:3
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit (pride?), but with humility of mind regard "one another" (believers) as more important than yourselves;