~ Son wants to join a death metal band ~

CoolDude68

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Hey everyone, I would like to get some opinions from others on something. Our son (18) is a very talented drummer but he's only interested in one type of music - that hardcore death metal stuff.

Well, a talented local band recently contacted him seeking a drummer and he wants to join them. He's obviously not a Christian, nor are any of the band members, so my wife is having an issue with this and doesn't want him to join. I have an opposite view of this but would like opinions. I say let him join and learn from the experience while we pray for his safety and leave it in God's hands. If we don't let him he will rebel and his talents will go to waste. If he joins and gets the exposure then maybe some other band might discover him, which may lead to bigger and better things, or even guys who might be Christians. There are Christian metal bands. He claims he doesn't even care about the lyrics which I get, you can't even understand them and he says he just likes it because he can play fast.

I looked up the guys on FB and they are the typical kids. No, they aren't Christian and they do some cussing and normal fallen-world behavior stuff but that's expected. Nothing they were posting really surprised me. They don't post stuff like Satan worship or anything extreme going against God. Really, there's no mention of religion in their posts so they're typical lost souls like most of the world.

Now, I haven't listened to their lyrics because I can't understand that type of scream singing and I can't find their words online. Anyway, what I'd like to do is invite the group over the our home and show an example and get to know them. After all, who am I to judge? The problem is the wife wants absolutely no part of that. She's quick to judge so-to-speak.

Any advice on how to handle this or what to say to my wife? I'd really like to meet these guys and I don't want to keep denying our talented son from enjoying his gift God has given him.
 

Ken Rank

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Hey everyone, I would like to get some opinions from others on something. Our son (18) is a very talented drummer but he's only interested in one type of music - that hardcore death metal stuff.

Well, a talented local band recently contacted him seeking a drummer and he wants to join them. He's obviously not a Christian, nor are any of the band members, so my wife is having an issue with this and doesn't want him to join. I have an opposite view of this but would like opinions. I say let him join and learn from the experience while we pray for his safety and leave it in God's hands. If we don't let him he will rebel and his talents will go to waste. If he joins and gets the exposure then maybe some other band might discover him, which may lead to bigger and better things, or even guys who might be Christians. There are Christian metal bands. He claims he doesn't even care about the lyrics which I get, you can't even understand them and he says he just likes it because he can play fast.

I looked up the guys on FB and they are the typical kids. No, they aren't Christian and they do some cussing and normal fallen-world behavior stuff but that's expected. Nothing they were posting really surprised me. They don't post stuff like Satan worship or anything extreme going against God. Really, there's no mention of religion in their posts so they're typical lost souls like most of the world.

Now, I haven't listened to their lyrics because I can't understand that type of scream singing and I can't find their words online. Anyway, what I'd like to do is invite the group over the our home and show an example and get to know them. After all, who am I to judge? The problem is the wife wants absolutely no part of that. She's quick to judge so-to-speak.

Any advice on how to handle this or what to say to my wife? I'd really like to meet these guys and I don't want to keep denying our talented son from enjoying his gift God has given him.
What you can't do is force him, he will rebel. Nor can you really withhold what he wants based on your faith. He is 18, and in this culture that is the age where he can choose. So where I see your wife's point and feel her pain... you can't take a hard stance without risking either losing him or placing a wall between you that may or may not ever come down.

Best thing is to pray pray pray... and make sure the Lord is heard in your words and seen in your deeds. That spreads seeds that God can use when the time is right.

Blessings.
Ken
 
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CoolDude68

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I agree with you 100% my friend, although my wife isn't there yet. She thinks that running and hiding from things in life will allow our son to avoid bad things happening to him. Sheltering is the term used. No, these guys aren't Christian but aren't we as God's flock supposed to lead by example, plant those seeds of opportunity and pray? Locking a kid in a room to avoid this fallen world is never going to accomplish anything in my opinion. I had to learn from my mistakes and that's part of life. I was not perfect, none of us are. He just wants to play music for crying out loud! lol
 
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brinny

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Praying for you, your precious wife and your son. Have you discussed this with your pastor or spiritual leader? What is God's unction about it when you ask Him?

Is your son still living at home?
 
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brinny

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I agree with you 100% my friend, although my wife isn't there yet. She thinks that running and hiding from things in life will allow our son to avoid bad things happening to him. Sheltering is the term used. No, these guys aren't Christian but aren't we as God's flock supposed to lead by example, plant those seeds of opportunity and pray? Locking a kid in a room to avoid this fallen world is never going to accomplish anything in my opinion. I had to learn from my mistakes and that's part of life. I was not perfect, none of us are. He just wants to play music for crying out loud! lol

Whoa, don't deride your wife like that. You DO know where she's coming from spiritually, do you not? Of COURSE she's concerned about your son's spiritual condition.

Regardless of what happens, be at "one" with your wife, above all else, as her spiritual partner, under God.

Praying.
 
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Ken Rank

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I agree with you 100% my friend, although my wife isn't there yet. She thinks that running and hiding from things in life will allow our son to avoid bad things happening to him. Sheltering is the term used. No, these guys aren't Christian but aren't we as God's flock supposed to lead by example, plant those seeds of opportunity and pray? Locking a kid in a room to avoid this fallen world is never going to accomplish anything in my opinion. I had to learn from my mistakes and that's part of life. I was not perfect, none of us are. He just wants to play music for crying out loud! lol
I know it isn't easy... I have a son and daughter myself. Just remind her, when necessary, that you can't force. Jesus was very clear when he said, "he that seeks will find." If he isn't asking questions, he won't hear answers. What we have to do as parents is make sure we raise them as best we can... and then continue living in such a way that it causes them to ask questions... and then we can teach, which really is what the Great Commission is saying anyway. :)

Be blessed brother, will lift you all up in prayer.
 
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faroukfarouk

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Hey everyone, I would like to get some opinions from others on something. Our son (18) is a very talented drummer but he's only interested in one type of music - that hardcore death metal stuff.

Well, a talented local band recently contacted him seeking a drummer and he wants to join them. He's obviously not a Christian, nor are any of the band members, so my wife is having an issue with this and doesn't want him to join. I have an opposite view of this but would like opinions. I say let him join and learn from the experience while we pray for his safety and leave it in God's hands. If we don't let him he will rebel and his talents will go to waste. If he joins and gets the exposure then maybe some other band might discover him, which may lead to bigger and better things, or even guys who might be Christians. There are Christian metal bands. He claims he doesn't even care about the lyrics which I get, you can't even understand them and he says he just likes it because he can play fast.

I looked up the guys on FB and they are the typical kids. No, they aren't Christian and they do some cussing and normal fallen-world behavior stuff but that's expected. Nothing they were posting really surprised me. They don't post stuff like Satan worship or anything extreme going against God. Really, there's no mention of religion in their posts so they're typical lost souls like most of the world.

Now, I haven't listened to their lyrics because I can't understand that type of scream singing and I can't find their words online. Anyway, what I'd like to do is invite the group over the our home and show an example and get to know them. After all, who am I to judge? The problem is the wife wants absolutely no part of that. She's quick to judge so-to-speak.

Any advice on how to handle this or what to say to my wife? I'd really like to meet these guys and I don't want to keep denying our talented son from enjoying his gift God has given him.
Hi; do you know about Christian death metal?

FYI, eg:

 
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faroukfarouk

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Edit... nevermind.... this isn't the thread for my comment.
Sir, let me quote some of the lyrics from Christian death metal Renascent's 'Son of God', in the above track:

"The Son of God
Who has come to take the sins of the world
He was crucified
For all our sins and iniquities, like a lamb led to be slaughtered
He was in the world, and the world was made by Him,
And the world knew Him not
Persecuted and defamed like a malefactor
Cursed for the goodness of His acts
Finally sentenced to the uttermost death
No one knew what this man was intended to do
The Son of God
Who has come to take the sins of the world".
 
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Ken Rank

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Sir, let me quote some of the lyrics from Christian death metal Renascent's 'Son of God', in the above track:

"The Son of God
Who has come to take the sins of the world
He was crucified
For all our sins and iniquities, like a lamb led to be slaughtered
He was in the world, and the world was made by Him,
And the world knew Him not
Persecuted and defamed like a malefactor
Cursed for the goodness of His acts
Finally sentenced to the uttermost death
No one knew what this man was intended to do
The Son of God
Who has come to take the sins of the world".
CoolDude68 started this thread needing some input with a family issue. If you want to debate whether "Christian DEATH" metal is pleasing to a holy and righteous God... then open another thread. I started to bring it up here and realized this isn't the proper place to do so.

Shalom.
 
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faroukfarouk

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CoolDude68 started this thread needing some input with a family issue. If you want to debate whether "Christian DEATH" metal is pleasing to a holy and righteous God... then open another thread. I started to bring it up here and realized this isn't the proper place to do so.

Shalom.
Actually I think that the lyrics that I quoted in post #10 would likely be highly relevant for@CoolDude68 to quote to his wife.
 
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Ken Rank

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Actually I think that the lyrics that I quoted in post #10 would likely be highly relevant for@CoolDude68 to quote to his wife.
Right... argue her into something she isn't seeking right now. Sometimes we have to stand back and let God do what God does before we intervene? I am leaving now... be blessed.
 
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faroukfarouk

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Right... argue her into something she isn't seeking right now. Sometimes we have to stand back and let God do what God does before we intervene? I am leaving now... be blessed.
I don't understand the point you are making.
 
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brinny

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Read the lyrics in post #9 and hear the track in post #7, for example. :)

It's a style.

I was emphasizing a question regarding "Christian death metal." Why is it called that?
 
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Ken Rank

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I don't understand the point you are making.
For crying out loud. Some priests go into a society and convert them to Christianity (their understanding of it, anyway) and within that culture is a holiday that is observed in order to sacrifice to a certain god and obviously this is pagan and an abomination to the one true God. The priests, in their desire to not rob that culture of their identity, allow them to keep the day but they rename it and give it some new meaning that is supposed to make it acceptable to God.

Do you celebrate that day? Or is it man's attempt to make an evil not so evil? To me... this is like saying "Freaking" instead of the other "F" word and thinking it is ok because I am not cussing. But I really would be...my intent is the same, I just changed the word. That holiday in that newly converted culture still celebrates on the same day it always did to their false god.... we just changed the name and meaning and now it suddenly became ok?

My point? Heavy metal originated among secularists, atheists, and satanists. Some group comes along, changes the words but plays the same beats and same sounds that were intended to give glory to satan... and the change of words makes it ok? Saying "he freaking cut me off when I was driving" instead of "he f...ing cut me off when I was driving" REALLY makes a difference?

Well... to YOU maybe it does... but to me it is the same and I am betting that to CoolDude's wife... she probably feels the same way. She doesn't like the music... so much so that she is hurting inside as she sees her son go down a path that conflicts with her faith. Right or wrong isn't the point... this is how she currently views it and her husband reading her some words you copied and pasted is not going to change anything. Time will heal... God will heal... but she won't get argued into a place where she is at true peace with this. At least... not right now.
 
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faroukfarouk

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For crying out loud. Some priests go into a society and convert them to Christianity (their understanding of it, anyway) and within that culture is a holiday that is observed in order to sacrifice to a certain god and obviously this is pagan and an abomination to the one true God. The priests, in their desire to not rob that culture of their identity, allow them to keep the day but they rename it and give it some new meaning that is supposed to make it acceptable to God.

Do you celebrate that day? Or is it man's attempt to make an evil not so evil? To me... this is like saying "Freaking" instead of the other "F" word and thinking it is ok because I am not cussing. But I really would be...my intent is the same, I just changed the word.

My point? Heavy metal originated among secularists, atheists, and satanists. Some group comes along, changes the words but plays the same beats and same sounds that were intended to give glory to satan... and the change of words makes it ok? Saying "he freaking cut me off when I was driving" instead of "he f...ing cut me off when I was driving" REALLY makes a difference?

Well... to YOU maybe it does... but to me it is the same and I am betting that to CoolDude's wife... she probably feels the same way. She doesn't like the music... so much so that she is hurting inside as she sees her son go down a path that conflicts with her faith. Right or wrong isn't the point... this is how she currently views it and her husband reading her some words you copied and pasted is not going to change anything. Time will heal... God will heal... but she won't get argued into a place where she is at true peace with this. At least... not right now.
My rather simple point was that lyrics such as these - from a Christian death metal band - might serve to allay @CoolDude68's wife's misgivings:

"The Son of God
Who has come to take the sins of the world
He was crucified
For all our sins and iniquities, like a lamb led to be slaughtered
He was in the world, and the world was made by Him,
And the world knew Him not
Persecuted and defamed like a malefactor
Cursed for the goodness of His acts
Finally sentenced to the uttermost death
No one knew what this man was intended to do
The Son of God
Who has come to take the sins of the world".
 
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Ken Rank

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My rather simple point was that lyrics such as these - from a Christian death metal band - might serve to allay @CoolDude68's wife's misgivings:

"The Son of God
Who has come to take the sins of the world
He was crucified
For all our sins and iniquities, like a lamb led to be slaughtered
He was in the world, and the world was made by Him,
And the world knew Him not
Persecuted and defamed like a malefactor
Cursed for the goodness of His acts
Finally sentenced to the uttermost death
No one knew what this man was intended to do
The Son of God
Who has come to take the sins of the world".
I understood you the first time... I just don't agree. I think "Christian death metal" is an oxymoron and the origins were to give glory to that which stands opposed to the true God. Sorry... that is just how I see it.
 
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