Reconnecting with old friend... but he is a ''homosexual Christian''

WilliamBo

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I believe you have done the right thing at this time. You are wise not to enter what could be challenging situation when you are not spiritually strong. I pray the Lord will strengthen you at this time and give you His peace about this situation.

Thank you.

1. We should hate the sin, not the sinner. We are told in the bible not to hate anyone, therefore everyone is our neighbor, including your gay friend. He therefore falls under, love thy neighbor as thyself. Unfriending him because he is gay is in no way a loving thing to do.

2. We are to live in the world, not a part of it. The only way your friend is going to become truely saved is through hearing the word. How is he going to hear the word if you turn your back on him?

I don't hate him, I just don't agree with him professing to be Christian AND a homosexual at the same time. And he knows it's a sin, he's even told me himself that he is hurt by Christians because they ''say homosexuality is an abomination''
 
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mkgal1

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I have friends that I don't agree with politically and doctrinally---we don't try to "help" each other out of our views/beliefs.....we just enjoy each other's company. I realize a lot of others believe the opposite--that we are to change people that are walking a path we don't believe is right for them...but I don't see it in such a concrete way. The topic of his sexuality certainly doesn't need to be mentioned when you're together or talking (you could even vocalize that is a boundary you'd prefer).

This man literally gave you your life back.....correct (in the most vulnerable way--he offered up his home.....his time....his compassion)? I just don't know how you can label him as "toxic" (especially when you were "healed" in his company). Toxic people bring chaos and havoc in your life....not healing (they're often the greatest obstacle towards healing). It's your choice.....but I don't believe that fear = spiritual discernment. As someone else already posted (but it's worth repeating)...."perfect love casts out fear".
 
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WilliamBo

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I have been thinking this over some more and have mixed feelings on the topic. On the one hand you want to show a genuine concern and keep a friendship with him so the love of Christ would be a reality in your friendship. On the other hand we are told that bad company corrupts good morals. When the Corinthian had an affair with the step mother, Paul told them to separate themselves from him so he would repent. Once he repented he was to be treated as a brother.

Jesus was sinless. His ability to be friends with sinners was different than ours since his ability to be tempted was less than ours. Many of us come from broken lives whether through divorce, being bullied, or abused by members of the family. We do not have the same strength as Jesus in our selves, even though Jesus offers us his strength, we have to accept it and lean upon it.

Yea that's right and I'm not judging him, but as someone who is trying to repent and follow God myself, I don't need to be around someone that is condoning sin. I don't have the ability to be friends with someone like that right now and maintain strong faith. I wish I were strong enough to be able to connect with him again but I'm not
 
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tryintogrow

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This thread is a microcosm of one of the biggest problems in the church. When a lost person wanders into a church, they are coddled, validated, and told that no one can judge them. Not so for those within the ranks of loyal members building the church. They are routinely bullied, lied to, gossiped about, and angled out of ministry projects. I've seen it a million times in many different churches. Apparently it's safe to let our hair down and show our true selves to our brothers and sisters.

The quickest way to get a modern Christian to be nice to you is to live in sin.
 
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WilliamBo

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Not so for those within the ranks of loyal members building the church. They are routinely bullied, lied to, gossiped about, and angled out of ministry projects.

That's just how it is. Welcome to planet Earth :oldthumbsup:
 
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mkgal1

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Yea that's right and I'm not judging him, [snip] I don't need to be around someone that is condoning sin. I don't have the ability to be friends with someone like that right now and maintain strong faith. I wish I were strong enough to be able to connect with him again but I'm not
From your OP.....you described "someone like that" to be someone that was:

WilliamBo said:
[...] helping me get sober, work the 12 steps, encouraged me, and helped me get on my feet... he even let me live with him when I was homeless living on the streets. He had a really good heart and he really loved my family and my family really liked him because they knew he was a good person that was trying to help me... he even used to listen to gospel music in front of me and I would laugh at him for it, thinking he was so weird for listening to Christian music.

....in spite of you laughing at him....he continued to love you and your family. He sounds like a wonderful man to me---it's sad to me that *your* faith has caused you to push him away (when his faith seems to have been what gave you your life back).
 
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WilliamBo

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....in spite of you laughing at him....he continued to love you and your family. He sounds like a wonderful man to me---it's sad to me that *your* faith has caused you to push him away (when his faith seems to have been what gave you your life back).

You completely misinterpreted what I was saying. I laughed at him in ignorance. He is a nice person and did help me, but as things panned out, I decided to follow God and he didn't want to admit to him living in homosexuality is wrong, so I am putting that friendship on hold for now until i can lovingly try to correct him
 
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mkgal1

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I am putting that friendship on hold for now until i can lovingly try to correct him
So....am I understanding you? Are you only willing to be his friend (later) in order to "lovingly try to correct him"? He may prefer you just remain distant from him instead. There's most likely plenty of people in his life (or past life) that had taken on that role already of "corrector".
 
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WilliamBo

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So....am I understanding you? Are you only willing to be his friend (later) in order to "lovingly try to correct him"? He may prefer you just remain distant from him instead. There's most likely plenty of people in his life (or past life) that had taken on that role already of "corrector".

Well I mean the bible says to not be unequally yoked and to "not even eat" with sinning Christians. We had discussions about his homosexuality, like i said, and he felt convicted and guilty about it but still refused to at least try to give it up
 
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Thir7ySev3n

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"I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people—not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people." (1 Corinthians 5:9-11)

"Take special note of anyone who does not obey our instruction in this letter. Do not associate with them, in order that they may feel ashamed. Yet do not regard them as an enemy, but warn them as you would a fellow believer." (2 Thessalonians 3:14-15)
 
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Thir7ySev3n

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Well I mean the bible says to not be unequally yoked and to "not even eat" with sinning Christians. We had discussions about his homosexuality, like i said, and he felt convicted and guilty about it but still refused to at least try to give it up

You're doing the right thing removing yourself from that friendship since this person has acquainted himself with Christ, assuming the title of a brother, yet intentionally continues in his sin. If he is living in this sin without any conflict against his flesh, it is virtually certain he is a false convert. If he has saving faith in Christ, then there will be enmity between himself and his flesh and he will not habitually continue in it premeditated (1 John 3:7-10, Hebrews 10:26-29).

This is not to say he is beyond salvaging in Christ, but that it is a dubious proposition, at best, to say he is already saved. Calling himself a brother, regardless, earns him the right to be disciplined as a son of God (Hebrews 12:7-8), and as the verses I quoted above explicate, that includes ostracism from the body of Christ.
 
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WilliamBo

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You're doing the right thing removing yourself from that friendship since this person has acquainted himself with Christ, assuming the title of a brother, yet intentionally continues in his sin. If he is living in this sin without any conflict against his flesh, it is virtually certain he is a false convert. If he has saving faith in Christ, then there will be enmity between himself and his flesh and he will not habitually continue in it premeditated (1 John 3:7-10, Hebrews 10:26-29).

That's a really good point. I believe there is a conflict there, at least there was when I last saw him, but it wasn't anything major. I really pray he hasn't let it take root
 
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salt-n-light

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Well I mean the bible says to not be unequally yoked and to "not even eat" with sinning Christians. We had discussions about his homosexuality, like i said, and he felt convicted and guilty about it but still refused to at least try to give it up

You already did your part. Lift him up in prayer, and if he asks for help, help him to the best of your ability. But don't engage out of satisfying your guilt or because you feel the need to save him or please him. Ultimately you can't, God can. May not seem that way, but God's definitely working it out.
 
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salt-n-light

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I have friends that I don't agree with politically and doctrinally---we don't try to "help" each other out of our views/beliefs.....we just enjoy each other's company. I realize a lot of others believe the opposite--that we are to change people that are walking a path we don't believe is right for them...but I don't see it in such a concrete way. The topic of his sexuality certainly doesn't need to be mentioned when you're together or talking (you could even vocalize that is a boundary you'd prefer).

This man literally gave you your life back.....correct (in the most vulnerable way--he offered up his home.....his time....his compassion)? I just don't know how you can label him as "toxic" (especially when you were "healed" in his company). Toxic people bring chaos and havoc in your life....not healing (they're often the greatest obstacle towards healing). It's your choice.....but I don't believe that fear = spiritual discernment. As someone else already posted (but it's worth repeating)...."perfect love casts out fear".

To put God aside in hopes to keep a friendship or to enjoy people's company is never a wise idea.Been there, done that. No matter what, you always end up compromising your relationship with God.

Yes, it's sad, that we come across people in our journey that made not be walking with God that have done good works. That's why you let them know the truth out of love, like " hanging out is cool, but I really want to see you make it to heaven man!" But if it's at the expense of compromising yourself, then you have to just give it to God. Not every wise move is favorable, but it's ultimately right.

Nothing wrong with making sure you have on your mask first, before putting the mask on the person next to you. You're less helpful if you're dead.
 
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frienden thalord

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Yea, and the scary thing is this one-world religion will be done in the name of PEACE, so anyone who doesn't conform to it will be seen as EVIL

Oh, indeed a huge betrayal is coming. And as our LORD
said......they who kill you will THINK they do Gods will. Strange
how JESUS said do you think I came t obring peace on earth, world peace etc.
Yet this whole religion focus is on WORLD peace. And yes many will believe
world peace is GODS goal as men destroy and the largest crucade begins.
May as well point out exactly where this is leading . One would
think any time man or politics or relgioin have come with a utopia unified reign
and it has always ended with much bloodshed.........man would learn the lesson.
But here we GO AGAIN........only this time...........it wll be world wide.
 
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mkgal1

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To put God aside in hopes to keep a friendship or to enjoy people's company is never a wise idea.
No matter what, you always end up compromising your relationship with God.
That's an odd thing to think---that one is "putting God aside" when they have friends that believe different doctrine or political views. :scratch: It's because I love God that I'm able to value friendships with people that are different than me--and don't have a need to be "right".

NEVER have my friendships with others caused any interference in my relationship with God. Love of others has only enhanced my relationship with God.
 
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salt-n-light

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That's an odd thing to think---that one is "putting God aside" when they have friends that believe different doctrine or political views. :scratch: It's because I love God that I'm able to value friendships with people that are different than me--and don't have a need to be "right".

NEVER have my friendships with others caused any interference in my relationship with God. Love of others has only enhanced my relationship with God.

Ever heard of the saying "Birds of a feather flock together"?There's a lot of truth to it. :D

It's not odd, it's scriptural. The company you keep will always influence your choices. Keep around people that oppose God, you will eventually compromise, whether it's obvious or not. (Proverbs 13:20)

You don't need to be right. God is right. You just need to uphold that. Have the love of God enhance your relationship with others and not the other way around (Matthew 22:36-40)
 
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KarateCowboy

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Important to remember that when Christ walked the Earth there were basically two types of sinners, and two ways in which He reacted to them. If the sinners were contrite and broken He accepted them and embraced them. If they were proud and in denial about their sins He rebuked them. I can think of no movement or ideology today that more wholly embraces the pride which Christ rebuked and rejected than the homosexual pride movement. They literally have a pride flag and literally have parades dedicated to how proud they are of their sins.

Your friend is beyond reach. Save your efforts and "turn him over to Satan". Turn your efforts toward fertile ground, not a heart that literally embraces the sin of pride as a virtue. You would be best praying for him time to time, but otherwise excising him from your life.
 
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