I'll tell you how I interpret the passages. I've studied through the Sermon on the Mount and also still read it every so often. By God's grace, I hope I can help.
Your first one:
"For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." - Well weren't the Pharisees obeying every letter of the law and so righteous? My mind is translating this as unless you're like super human...too bad.
Let's look at the righteousness of the Pharisees in these verses:
-Luke 18:9-14
To some who trusted in their own righteousness and viewed others with contempt, He also told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray. One was a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like the other men—swindlers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and pay tithes of all that I receive.’
But the tax collector stood at a distance, unwilling even to lift up his eyes to heaven. Instead, he beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man, rather than the Pharisee, went home justified. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
-Matthew 23:23-28
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You pay tithes of mint, dill, and cumin, but you have disregarded the weightier matters of the Law: justice, mercy, and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, so that the outside may become clean as well.
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside, but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and every impurity. In the same way, you appear to be righteous on the outside, but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
There is more condemnation spoken of the scribes and pharisees in Matthew 23 if you want to read about it.
Commentary from Andrew Wommack:
In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus was not saying that we have to fast more than twice each week to enter into the kingdom of heaven. Rather, He was exposing the religious leaders’ superficial self-righteousness, and He began to explain, in this verse through Matthew 6:18, that God looks on the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). The scribes and Pharisees had put all of the emphasis on physical acts of compliance with many laws and traditions, but in their hearts, they were still of their father, the devil (John 8:44). They had made the outside clean, but within, they were full of all uncleanness, hypocrisy, and iniquity (Matthew 23:25-28).
Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;"
Hebrews 4:15 "For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin."
The ONLY way for us to be righteous is to be in Christ:
2 Corinthians 5:21 "For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him."
We can't trust our own righteousness. If we do, we're condemned.
Albert Barnes Commentary:
"That we might be made the righteousness of God - This is a Hebraism, meaning the same as divinely righteous. It means that we are made righteous in the sight of God; that is, that we are accepted as righteous, and treated as righteous by God on account of what the Lord Jesus has done. There is here an evident and beautiful contrast between what is said of Christ, and what is said of us. He was made sin; we are made righteousness; that is, he was treated as if he were a sinner, though he was perfectly holy and pure; we are treated as if we were righteous, though we are defiled and depraved. The idea is, that on account of what the Lord Jesus has endured in our behalf we are treated as if we had ourselves entirely fulfilled the Law of God, and bad never become exposed to its penalty. In the phrase "righteousness of God," there is a reference to the fact that this is his plan of making people righteous, or of justifying them."
David Guzik Commentary:
"d. That we might become the righteousness of God in Him: Jesus took our sin, but gave us His righteousness. It is a tremendous exchange, all prompted by the love of God for us!
i. “Not only does the believer receive from God a right standing before him on the basis of faith in Jesus (Phil 3:9), but here Paul says that ‘in Christ’ the believer in some sense actually shares the righteousness that characterizes God himself.” (Harris)
ii. The righteousness of God: “What a grand expression! He makes us righteous through the righteousness of Jesus; nay, not only makes us righteous, but righteousness; nay, that is not all, he makes us the righteousness of God; that is higher than the righteousness of Adam in the garden, it is more divinely perfect than angelic perfection.” (Spurgeon)
iii. “The righteousness which Adam had in the garden was perfect, but it was the righteousness of man: ours is the righteousness of God.” (Spurgeon)
iv. This is the whole truth of justification stated simply: Our sins were on Jesus, and His righteousness is on us. And, “As Christ was not made sin by any sin inherent in him, so neither are we made righteous by any righteousness inherent in us, but by the righteousness of Christ imputed to us.” (Poole)"
-The only way for us to get to Heaven is to, indeed, be more righteous than the scribes and Pharisees, and that is only through Jesus to accept His righteousness, that is salvation!
Ephesians 1:7 "In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;"
2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."
Once a person has been truly saved, we will want and desire to do the best we can do and obey the best we can. But, when we fail, Jesus' blood covers us.
1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 2:1-3 "My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate before the Father--Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He Himself is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not for ours alone, but also for the sins of the whole world. By this we can be sure that we have come to know Him: if we keep His commandments."
If a person claims to be saved and still desires to sin and feels nothing, then they should question their salvation:
2 Corinthians 13:5 "Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you-- unless indeed you fail the test?" (NASB)
In such a case, that person should cry out to God with all their heart.
Let's move on to your next one:
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"
-There are people that can use the Mighty Name of Jesus and get results even though they're not saved. They haven't had a heart change. They don't have the righteousness of God in Christ.
David Guzik Commentary:
" Lord, Lord, have we not: The people Jesus speaks of here had impressive spiritual accomplishments. They prophesied, cast out demons, and had done many wonders. These are wonderful things, but they meant nothing without true fellowship, true connection with Jesus.
i. Jesus did not seem to doubt their claims of doing the miraculous. He didn’t say, “You didn’t really prophesy or cast out demons or do miracles.” This leads us to understand that sometimes miracles are granted through pretended believers, reminding us that in the final analysis, miracles prove nothing.
ii. Significantly, they even did these things in the name of Jesus. Yet, they never really had a relationship of love and fellowship with Jesus. “Through my love to the souls of men, I blessed your preaching; but yourselves I could never esteem, because you were destitute of the spirit of my Gospel, unholy in your hearts, and unrighteous in your conduct.” (Clarke)
iii. “If preaching could save a man, Judas would not have been damned. If prophesying could save a man, Balaam would not have been a castaway.” (Spurgeon)
I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness: In the end, there is one basis of salvation; it isn’t mere verbal confession, not “spiritual works,” but knowing Jesus and being known by Him. It is our connection to Him – by the gift of faith that He gives to us – that secures our salvation. Connected to Jesus we are secure; without connection to Him all the miracles and great works prove nothing.
i. “What a terrible word! What a dreadful separation! Depart from ME! From the very Jesus whom you have proclaimed in union with whom alone eternal life is to be found. For, united to Christ, all is heaven; separated from him, all is hell.” (Clarke)
ii. In addition, these are not people who lost their salvation. Instead, they never truly had it (I never knew you)."
-For a person to be saved, like David Guzik said above, mere verbal confession can't save us. Our hearts have to be behind our words.
Romans 10:9 tells us to confess, with our mouth, Jesus Christ as Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead (Jesus is Lord means Jesus Christ is in control of your life. If you acknowledge him as Lord, he will clean you up from sin and will guide you in the right direction. Set your love on Jesus.). You can't just mouth words and expect to be saved, you must put your heart behind your words. That's why it says believe with your heart. Trust him with all your heart.
For those that may not be saved:
Come to Jesus Christ as you are today! You don't have to clean yourself up before you come to Jesus. You come to Jesus for forgiveness and then he cleans you up. He wants to save you, guide you in the right direction and give you a new heart. Once you truly come to Jesus, a change will start to occur in you. Don't worry if you're thinking you can't live the Christian life. Jesus will give you the power to live the Christian life. Come to Jesus!
Cry out to God and turn your whole mind and heart towards Jesus Christ and put your faith in him as Lord and Savior. Make him your Lord. Entrust him with your life and put your faith in him to save you. Pray to God (prayer is simply talking to God) and express your belief in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. It needs to be in your own words from your own heart.
Let's move on to the next scripture you posted:
"If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple."
-A lot of times, it helps to look at the parallel passages of scripture. The one you posted is from Luke. Let's look at the parallel passage in Matthew to help us understand better:
Matthew 10:37 "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."
So, you can see, the passage from Luke doesn't mean we have to hate, it means we should love Jesus more than anyone else. We should not love anyone more than we love Jesus.
Andrew Wommack Commentary:
"Jesus’ instruction here is also found in Luke 14:26, which, if taken by itself, might leave the impression that we are supposed to hate our fathers and mothers, wives and children, and even ourselves. However, Matthew made it very clear in this verse by the use of the words “more than” that this was not what Jesus meant. We are commanded to walk in love, especially to the members of our own families (Ephesians 5:25-33 and Titus 2:4). Jesus was simply stating that we should prefer Him above any other relationship."
Next one:
"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword."
Albert Barnes Commentary:
"Christ did not here mean to say that the object of his coming was to produce discord and contention, for he was the Prince of Peace, Isaiah 9:6; Isaiah 11:6; Luke 2:14; but he means to say that such would be one of the effects of his coming. One part of a family that was opposed to Him would set themselves against those who believed in him. The wickedness of men, and not the religion of the gospel, is the cause of this hostility. It is unnecessary to say that no prophecy has been more strikingly fulfilled; and it will continue to be fulfilled until all unite in obeying his commandments. Then his religion will produce universal peace."
-A lot of times, when a person comes to Christ, that person is shunned. This is especially true in countries where Christianity is outlawed and where false religions flourish. In some areas, when a person comes to Christ, that person is then hated and can be killed because of his\her faith.
Andrew Wommack Commentary:
" This statement seems like a contradiction to some prophecies concerning Jesus (Psalms 72:7, 85:10; Isaiah 9:6-7; and Luke 2:14), some of His own statements concerning peace (John 14:27 and 16:33), and what was written of Him in the New Testament epistles (Romans 5:1, 14:17-19; Ephesians 2:14-17, 4:3; Philippians 4:7; Colossians 3:15; and Hebrews 12:14). However, the peace that Jesus purchased was peace between God and man. We have peace with God (Romans 5:1). We are exhorted to take this peace and extend it to all people (Romans 12:18 and Hebrews 12:14), but it is also made very clear that not all people will receive it (John 16:33 and 2 Timothy 3:12). Therefore, as Jesus was explaining here, the Gospel will always produce opposition from those who don’t receive it.
This “sword of division,” even among family members, is not God’s will nor is it God who causes it, but it will inevitably come. Jesus was simply preparing His disciples. As much as we would like to see everyone receive the good news, we must not think it’s strange when even our loved ones don’t receive it. Jesus was rejected by His own (John 1:11), and we will be also (Matthew 10:24-25). We must remain faithful to keep preaching the Gospel, for there are others who will receive."
Your next statement:
"These passages are so different from the Jesus of love and forgiveness that I've grown up with, and it shook me to the very core and is actually shaking my faith. "
-Our faith can be shaken and stretched. That's when we grow, but we must never give up our faith. It's important to compare scripture with scripture as I have tried to do above with others' help. The love of Jesus and His forgiveness is still there in scripture. Much of it was mentioned above. Here's some more verses:
John 15:9-17 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. ."
John 13:34 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. "
1 John 4:19 "We love because he first loved us."
Romans 5:8 "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them! For the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.""
Romans 8:38-39 "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Next:
Luke 16:13 "No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money."
Also Matthew 6:24 (the parallel verse)
-That doesn't mean we should quit our jobs. It means we should not serve money. We should not "love" money.
1 Timothy 6:10 "For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." (NASB)
Psalm 62:10b "...if riches increase, set not your heart upon them."
David Guizk Commentary:
"Jesus states that serving two masters is a simple impossibility. If you think that you are successfully serving two masters, you are deceived. It can’t be done. As ancient Israel struggled with idolatry, they thought they could worship the Lord God and Baal. God constantly reminded them that to worship Baal was to forsake the Lord God. To be loyal to the one is to despise the other."
"It can be simply said: Don’t serve your money. Let your money serve the Lord and it will serve you."
"i. According to France, the idea of mammon itself was morally neutral. The word was used in some ancient Jewish texts that showed this, translating Proverbs 3:9 as Honor God with your mammon (...). Therefore mammon itself represents material things we possess or want, and those things can be used for God’s kingdom and glory or as idols.
ii. Certainly, Jesus is talking about the heart here. Many people would say they love God, but their service of money shows that in fact they do not. How can we tell who or what we are serving? One way is by remembering this principle: you will sacrifice for your God. If you will sacrifice for the sake of money, but will not sacrifice for the sake of Jesus, don’t deceive yourself: money is your God.
iii. We must remember that we don’t have to be rich to serve mammon (money and material things); the poor can be just as greedy and covetous as the rich can be."
Next:
"not worrying about what you will eat"
Matthew 6:25-34 "“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (ESV)
Andrew Wommack commentary:
"The Greek word used here for “thought” is “MERIMNAO” and denotes “to be anxious about” (Strong’s Concordance) (example: 1 Samuel 9:5). In this account (Matthew 6:25-34), as well as the same account found in Luke 12:22-32, Jesus was commanding us not to worry or be anxious about our material needs being met. It would not be possible to have no thought whatsoever about our physical needs. Even Jesus thought about His need for money to pay taxes (Matthew 17:24-27). We are simply not to be occupied with thinking about riches or spend time worrying about our necessities. They will be added unto us as we seek first the kingdom of God."
Jamieson-Fausset-Brown Commentary:
"Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought—"Be not solicitous." The English word "thought," when our version was made, expressed this idea of "solicitude," "anxious concern"—as may be seen in any old English classic; and in the same sense it is used in 1Sa 9:5, &c. But this sense of the word has now nearly gone out, and so the mere English reader is apt to be perplexed. Thought or forethought, for temporal things—in the sense of reflection, consideration—is required alike by Scripture and common sense. It is that anxious solicitude, that oppressive care, which springs from unbelieving doubts and misgivings, which alone is here condemned. (See Php 4:6).
for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on—In Luke (Lu 12:29) our Lord adds, "neither be ye unsettled"—not "of doubtful mind," as in our version. When "careful (or 'full of care') about nothing," but committing all in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving unto God, the apostle assures us that "the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" (Php 4:6, 7); that is, shall guard both our feelings and our thoughts from undue agitation, and keep them in a holy calm. But when we commit our whole temporal condition to the wit of our own minds, we get into that "unsettled" state against which our Lord exhorts His disciples.
Is not the life more than meat—food.
and the body than raiment?—If God, then, gives and keeps up the greater—the life, the body—will He withhold the less, food to sustain life and raiment to clothe the body?
Barnes Commentary:
"Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought ... - The general design of this paragraph, which closes the chapter, is to warn his disciples against avarice, and, at the same time, against anxiety about the supply of their needs. This he does by four arguments or considerations, expressing by unequalled beauty and force the duty of depending for the things which we need on the providence of God. The "first" is stated in Matthew 6:25; "Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?" In the beginning of the verse he charged his disciples to take "no thought" - that is, not to be "anxious" about the supply of their wants. In illustration of this he says that God has given "life," a far greater blessing than "meat;" that he has created the body, of far more consequence than raiment. Shall not he who has conferred the "greater" blessing be willing to confer the "less?" Shall not he who has formed the body so curiously, and made in its formation such a display of power and goodness, see that it is properly protected and clothed? He who has displayed "so great" goodness as to form the body, and breathe into it the breath of life, will surely "follow up" the blessing, and confer the "smaller" favor of providing that that body shall be clothed, and that life preserved."
Gill commentary:
"Therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life,.... Since ye cannot serve both God and "mammon", obey one, and neglect the other. Christ does not forbid labour to maintain, support, and preserve, this .. life; nor does he forbid all thought and care about it, but all anxious, immoderate, perplexing, and distressing thoughts and cares; such as arise from diffidence and unbelief, and tend to despair; which are dishonourable to God, as the God of nature and providence, and uncomfortable to men:
what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. The several and the only things, which are necessary for the support and comfort of human life, are mentioned; as meat, drink, and clothing; Eating and drinking are necessary to preserve life; and raiment, to cover and defend the body, from the injuries of the heavens: and having these, men have everything necessary, and ought herewith to be content; nor should they be anxiously thoughtful about these: for
is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? And yet, God has given these without man's thought: and since these are better, and much more excellent, than food and raiment, as all must and will acknowledge; and God has given these the greater gifts, it may be depended upon, that he will give the lesser; that he will give meat and drink; to uphold that valuable life, which he is the author of; and raiment to clothe that body, which he, with so much wisdom and power, has accurately and wonderfully made.
Work is good. Here's some verses:
Colossians 3:23-24 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”
2 Thessalonians 3:10-12 “For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living.”
Having a family is good, too!:
1 Timothy 3:5 "For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church?" (ESV)
1 Timothy 5:8 "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."
Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, " (ESV)
1 Peter 3:1 "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives," (ESV)
Ephesians 6:4 "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (ESV)
Ephesians 6:1 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. " (ESV)
When reading the Bible, we should pray and ask God to help us understand the Bible. It is important to let scripture interpret scripture. It's also VERY helpful to have commentaries on hand. I listed some above that I used. Here's links to some of them:
Albert Barnes:
Overview - Albert Barnes' Notes on the Whole Bible
David Guzik:
Enduring Word - Bible Commentary Of The Whole Bible with Pastor David Guzik
John Gill:
John Gills Exposition of the Bible Commentary
Jamieson-Fausset-Brown:
Bible Commentary Critical and Explanatory; Jamieson, Fausset, Brown
Note: These men are not infallible, but gleaning from their studies can help us learn.
Hope that was helpful!