Instead of engaging in controversial topics that people will always disagree on, I think it's best to find or come up with some jokes to break the conversation to more lightheartedness when things get too heavy. First subject: Speaking in tongues.
Will-do boss
I attended a church that spoke in tongues for about 9 years. I am very well acquainted with this topic.
Speaking in Tongues was a real gift. the true gift was the ability to speak real languages (not a "godly" or "heavenly" language) without having learned them, and it was for the purpose of spreading the Gospel (not self-edification, but the edification of the church. as Paul makes it clear.).
What happens today in churches is not that Gift. i believe a lot of people are well-meaning, but deceived. they either
a. work themselves into an emotional frenzy (have seen it first-hand hundreds of times. The music is always Jamming. People start dancing and acting crazy until they finally hand themselves over to such a mental state.
Or they go the opposite way. Very emotional, start trying to speak in tongues while praying until they hand themselves over to such a mental state.)
b. are faking it (just like in 1 Corinthians. The Church has set attitude that those who speak in tongues are the only ones who are saved. They are more spiritual than those who don't speak in tongues. so those who don't are compelled to fake it in order to fit in. And if someone does happen to have the true gift (anything is possible right?) they are compelled to misuse it in order to constantly show the church that they have it and are still indeed spiritual.
Very cult-like)
c. they are demon possessed (less often than the other two, but I have seen this as well).
To those who believe this theology, You are not alone. I once did myself. I know others who had trouble letting it go. Praying gibberish is so engrained in their prayerlife that it is difficult at first.
Undoubtedly, handing yourself over to the mental state that "speaking in tongues" requires leaves you with an emotional high. But that's it. It is just a release of emotions. And it is an addiction.
A practice that is no different than the pagan religions that existed at the time.