Honestly the fact that you're so afraid about salvation is a reason to doubt Christianity (at least it's a reason I'm doubting). A system that intimidates or terrifies you into it doesn't seem loving. You shouldn't be afraid about losing salvation. That's harmful to think.
So it's Christianity fault, as a whole, that someones afraid of a part of it?
The fear here, of the lose of salvation, is unfounded, and misinterpreted, and what you say doesn't help to resolve the problem, it only adds doubt.
you're not looking at the whole picture.
Let's for a moment explore Gods point of view, he has made these creatures, these creatures do not like him, how does he make these creatures wanna go to heaven? Instead of Hell.
He doesn't, downplay hell, make it seem like not that big a deal to go there, he tells the truth, it's bad down there, not somewhere you wanna go, it is scary, if it wasn't, nobody would care.
It's the most loving thing you could do, if you have a child, you make sure you explain the full reality of the danger that lies ahead, anything less and you've not done your job as a parent.
With that said, as to why it appears that God scares people onto his side (which isn't the case but whatever), the inevitable question comes about as to, how is it loving to send people to hell.
And it's simple.
God doesn't send anyone to hell, it's a choice.
The bible says that everybody has the knowledge they need to get into heaven, they need only seek it out, and follow it. Simple as that.
It's doubt, like yours, and deers, that lead them astray, and the ultimate decision as to whether it's true or not.
Any realization other than positive is false, and is in line with a choice, from the point of disbelief, you have made a conscious choice to not go to Heaven, people would argue, I need more proof, when it's stated that the evidence is plain.
The question of whether babies go to Heaven or not, is not in my grasp to answer biblically, but I believe they do, because I do believe in a loving God.
The existence of Hell, is simply to punish sinners, everybody is a sinner, now how is it loving? It's very simple, Christ died to pay for your sins, and absolving you of your crimes, so to speak.
There's no requirements, or prerequisites to follow Christ, you simply do it.
And it's that easy, so it's clear to see that it really is your choice to go to Hell or not.
If God doesn't punish sinners, then he would be unloving, it's not fair to the people who have accepted Christ, no punishment means, nothing matters, do whatever the hell you want.
That's a really abridged, and sleep deprived statement I'll give, I can go more in depth later.
But I've seen you around, and you seem to have a real problem with God, and from the way you type, you almost look for reasons to be mad at him, and you also seem to ignore, or rather dismiss anybody who gives you answers.
The latter could be me mixing you up with someone else, as I often do that, but the former is true, at least from an outsider looking in, it seems you do have a real problem with God.
And that's what I'm trying to do, I'm not trying to vilify, or talk down to you, or anyone for that matter.
I, like pretty much all Christians, have went through this villainous God complex, mine passed rather quickly, as I have tons of time to think about this, and in a couple months I completely satisfied any doubts I would have, philosophically and scientifically, devoted literately all my time to it.
But I would like to talk with you, and we can hash some of this stuff out, and I can go in depth with what helped me come to a positive outcome, because of course the goal is to come to a positive out come I would suppose, because it would be quite sad to find out that God doesn't exist, and when you die nothing happens, making it negative.
So of course I would assume you want to put to rest your doubts, positively.
And I'm not saying I can get rid of the doubt, I believe that an absolute exorcism of doubt can only be done by God, all I can really do is perhaps shine light on something, or at the very least act as an emotional backboard that you can mull your thoughts with.
I would like to help you out though, if I could, because I did have some serious doubts, before becoming a Christian that I did not explore until I decided to become a Christian, and as I said I resolved mine quite quickly, and feel I can pass on what helped me to other people.