- Nov 2, 2016
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I feel God has revealed to me that I am selfish in my actions but I don't know how to change my own heart. I've been a (growing) Christian for 5 years now but still am not at the point to where I am truly living for other people and putting others before myself and it really dissapoints me. I know God's love and I love God but I am not yet living it out... I WANT to minister to people and to "satisfy the afflicted soul" and just DO GOOD and really be like Jesus but I just can't seem to be free from myself... I still yell at my mom when she tries to correct me and stuff like that and feel like I'm like 10 years younger emotionally and maturity wise and honestly don't even enjoy my own company. I feel so immature and really want the seed of God to grow faster in me but being self-centered is my natural state of being and being a drug addict in the past really made the selfishness deep rooted in my as I made very many poor decisions as a teenager and in my early 20's. When I get around strangers I often panic because I don't know how to act properly around strangers...
I mean what can I do to cultivate the fruits of the spirit in me? I am struggling with depression and isolation real bad and really dug myself into a hole. I feel like i'm in darkness and have fasted and prayed and had many people pray for me and had lots of Christian counseling but still in this cloud... Any advice?
I mean what can I do to cultivate the fruits of the spirit in me? I am struggling with depression and isolation real bad and really dug myself into a hole. I feel like i'm in darkness and have fasted and prayed and had many people pray for me and had lots of Christian counseling but still in this cloud... Any advice?
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