The Negative Impact of Purity Culture

Tetra

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I wonder where you got your definition.
There is currently no single unified definition of purity culture. I had to modify this definition since this is a family friendly forum, and the definition from where I got it had some inappropriate language for here. If you look up the definition, they're usually fairly similar in nature. :)
 
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Root of Jesse

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If purity culture is about restricting freedom then I am against it. I believe in free choice to obey or disobey the word.
Freedom needs to be defined. Freedom, real freedom, is the unfettered ability to do what is right, not the ability to do whatever you want to do...
God gave us free will-the ability to do what is right. When Eve used her free will to do what is wrong, she was punished.
 
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Root of Jesse

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In the East, the marriage sacrament, or crowning as we call it, is actually a mystery performed by the priest to unite the couple. It is one of the liturgical quirks of the Eastern churches.
In the Catholic Church it is a covenant between the couple and God.
 
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2PhiloVoid

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I wonder where you got your definition. It would be wrong to attach some sort of idolatry to remaining a virgin. Rather, I believe it is right to show why virginity is right and why un-chastity before marriage is wrong. Show the reason why it is best to wait until marriage.

I realize that some, maybe most, of our American culture that reveres virginity makes it sort of an idol, but that doesn't really work. By the way, for any such discipline to work, the individual has to understand the value of it. Take, for instance, the discipline required to play sports. If the kid doesn't want to play sports, or sees no value in it, he's not going to succeed. Likewise, if someone is taking piano lessons because his parents want him to be a virtuoso (and not doing it of his own free will), he will not succeed. I remember that I smoked for 40+ years, and thought I would/could never quit, but when I did it because I wanted to, I didn't even need a stick of nicotine gum. Same way with chastity. When one is brought up with the understanding of the value of chastity as a discipline, one will more than likely succeed.

I would say that compared to the accommodation which the Playboy Philosophy (among other ideas) has received, the part of American culture that reveres virginity is rather tiny and of very modest influence. In fact, it kind of makes Tetra's concern nearly a moot point in my estimation.

Peace,
2PhiloVoid
 
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FireDragon76

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It's indeed a small, weird segment of evangelicalism, and not representative of the best. The Quiverfull movement is also like this. It has a lot of that fundamentalist counter-cultural hostility going on.

My Orthodox priest I used to have had an aura of this sort of thing. He lived in an evangelical bubble most of his life. It was obvious he tried to break out of it at some point but he never did completely, even when he converted to Orthodoxy. Honestly that sort of thing is very damaging, it really damages your sense of empathy and ability to relate to ordinary people.
 
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Acey1

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Purity Culture Definition:
Purity culture has an obsessive focus on virginity before marriage and on maintaining emotional purity that pervades fundamentalism and evangelicalism, made visible in purity balls, purity rings, purity pledges, and modesty teachings.

It ties your worth as a person to your virginity, not who you are in Christ.

NOTE: Remember, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin, but there is something wrong about making virginity an idol, and that's what purity culture does.


As a millennial, the church was obsessed with purity culture during my childhood, you might remember books like I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris, who now himself admits it was a mistake.

In a recent article by Ruth Graham:


I just picked up a new book titled Damaged Goods by Dianna Anderson... looking forward to reading it.

Purity Culture had a negative impact on my life, on my marriage, and I'm a male. I can't even image the imagine the negative impact on women. :( Purity balls, rings and the like, in my opinion are super weird and sometimes gross.

I am interested in responses from women on this one, and how purity culture impacted them?


Hello ~
I am currently working on a potential book that includes various peoples stories (including my own) about the purity movements in churches and the negative effects it has had on their lives. I would love to hear more about your story - it is rare to have a male perspective. Please feel free to reply or message me - I am new here so I am not positive how best to communicate.
 
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Root of Jesse

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Hello ~
I am currently working on a potential book that includes various peoples stories (including my own) about the purity movements in churches and the negative effects it has had on their lives. I would love to hear more about your story - it is rare to have a male perspective. Please feel free to reply or message me - I am new here so I am not positive how best to communicate.
How is it possible that encouraging people not to have sex before marriage is a negative thing? Unless you're talking about public shaming and such, it's not. When I was a teen, I didn't make it public that I had chosen chastity, I just did it. I think if I had made it public, I'd have been shamed by my peers, so then it works both ways. I'm not buying it.
 
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JackRT

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Prior to about 5000 years ago all evidence indicates that humanity was organized in matriarchal societies. Women were honoured as leaders and because of woman's role as life-giver, religion was centered around fertility and the deities were mostly female. Because motherhood is beyond question, inheritance of wealth, property and power was easy to determine. Evidence indicates that these societies were much less prone to violence particularly violence against women. Then , about 5000 years ago, patriarchal societies began to emerge. Their violent nature quickly allowed them to become the dominant cultural influence. This had a very negative impact upon women. First, the inheritance of wealth, property and power came to be passed through the male line. Second, because fatherhood is questionable, the virginity of women prior to marriage and the sole access to the woman after marriage became most important. Essentially women became possessions. This is origin of the emphasis on virginity as being somehow a purer form of femininity. We can see the powerful influence of patriarchy in both the Hebrew and Christian scriptures. This influence extends right up to the present although it is now being eroded. We frequently speak negatively about the role of women in Muslim societies but we do well to remember that these societies today bear a very strong resemblance to society in biblical times. It can be justly argued that patriarchy might very well be the worst evil that humanity has ever inflicted on itself. An excellent study of this history is to be found in "When God Was a Woman" by Merlin Stone.
 
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Acey1

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How is it possible that encouraging people not to have sex before marriage is a negative thing? Unless you're talking about public shaming and such, it's not. When I was a teen, I didn't make it public that I had chosen chastity, I just did it. I think if I had made it public, I'd have been shamed by my peers, so then it works both ways. I'm not buying it.

I am glad that you never experienced any of the negatives that can accompany purity pledges. I am not implying that not having sex before marriage is a bad thing. I am simply looking for negative, personal experiences people have had because of purity pledges, like my own.
 
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Rajni

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I am simply looking for negative, personal experiences people have had because of purity pledges, like my own.
I never officially made a purity pledge, but I did make it a point not to have sex before marriage. The one negative that I came to later discover with that is that I didn't know how I felt about sex (long story short, it turns out I'd rather watch paint dry :D) until it was too late to do anything about it.
 
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Root of Jesse

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I am glad that you never experienced any of the negatives that can accompany purity pledges. I am not implying that not having sex before marriage is a bad thing. I am simply looking for negative, personal experiences people have had because of purity pledges, like my own.
What negatives did you experience because of making a purity pledge?
 
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Tetra

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What negatives did you experience because of making a purity pledge?
Statistics show making "purity pledges" is completely useless. This has been documented tons of times. Everyone has a differing experience which may or may not be negative. For the most part though... those in the movement recognize it wasn't good when looking back.
 
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Root of Jesse

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Statistics show making "purity pledges" is completely useless. This has been documented tons of times. Everyone has a differing experience which may or may not be negative. For the most part though... those in the movement recognize it wasn't good when looking back.
In what way are they 'completely useless'? You know, the rest of your post could be used with things like "marriage vows", "religious vows", "Contract proposals", "Attending religious services", and various other things. Any vow, pledge, contract, or whatever, willingly entered (rather than forced into), can be seen good and bad, looking back on it. Usually bad when forced into it, or pushed against your will. I would say, again, that it has to come from within, rather than from without. If I vow to lose weight, or not have sex, or not eat meat because I see benefits from doing one of those things, I'm more likely to follow it through and have a good experience. See my examples above.
 
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yeshuaslavejeff

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Statistics show making "purity pledges" is completely useless.
This is (likely anyway) true.

As making pledges without power, without life cannot succeed.

And Jesus says do not swear (which might , I guess, be similar to do not make pledges)...

However, likewise, when children are raised right, they will not depart from it when they are old.
This is God's Promise, not a man's promise and not a man's pledge,
not dependent on men or man or church,
but on God's Promise in Christ Jesus,
and HE KEEPS and PROTECTS and HONORS HIS WORD.

That does not fix all the broken lives, but can greatly affect
children growing up,
to give them a much greater joy and peace and righteousness
than
most adults ever see in their lives, if ever.

and without condemnation of anyone in Christ Jesus.

So then the purpose? the motive ? the plan ?

Salvation as God says.

Peace, Joy, and Righteousness for all ekklesia, as God gives and says.

LIFE ! as God says, in Jesus, and not the sad state of man's religious efforts without God.

Keep good company, fwiw, as bad company corrupts good morals.

Good company is hard to find.

A good husband or wife or brothers and sisters in Christ is a treasure - a gift from God, precious in GOD'S SIGHT,
more to be desired than gold,
yes, more than much fine gold....
 
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Tetra

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In what way are they 'completely useless'? You know, the rest of your post could be used with things like "marriage vows", "religious vows", "Contract proposals", "Attending religious services", and various other things. Any vow, pledge, contract, or whatever, willingly entered (rather than forced into), can be seen good and bad, looking back on it. Usually bad when forced into it, or pushed against your will. I would say, again, that it has to come from within, rather than from without. If I vow to lose weight, or not have sex, or not eat meat because I see benefits from doing one of those things, I'm more likely to follow it through and have a good experience. See my examples above.
I stated in what way... statistics.

"The sexual behavior of virginity pledgers does not differ from that of closely matched nonpledgers, and pledgers are less likely to protect themselves from pregnancy and disease before marriage. Virginity pledges may not affect sexual behavior but may decrease the likelihood of taking precautions during sex. Clinicians should provide birth control information to all adolescents, especially virginity pledgers"
Patient Teenagers? A Comparison of the Sexual Behavior of Virginity Pledgers and Matched Nonpledgers

If you actually want to talk about marriage vows and Christians... jeepers, the marriage vows might as well be useless too.
 
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Rajni

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I stated in what way... statistics.

"The sexual behavior of virginity pledgers does not differ from that of closely matched nonpledgers, and pledgers are less likely to protect themselves from pregnancy and disease before marriage. Virginity pledges may not affect sexual behavior but may decrease the likelihood of taking precautions during sex. Clinicians should provide birth control information to all adolescents, especially virginity pledgers"
Patient Teenagers? A Comparison of the Sexual Behavior of Virginity Pledgers and Matched Nonpledgers

If you actually want to talk about marriage vows and Christians... jeepers, the marriage vows might as well be useless too.
Methinks Jesus knew what he was talking about when he advised we not make "any vows whatsoever". He knows how human psychology works. :)
 
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Root of Jesse

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I stated in what way... statistics.

"The sexual behavior of virginity pledgers does not differ from that of closely matched nonpledgers, and pledgers are less likely to protect themselves from pregnancy and disease before marriage. Virginity pledges may not affect sexual behavior but may decrease the likelihood of taking precautions during sex. Clinicians should provide birth control information to all adolescents, especially virginity pledgers"
Patient Teenagers? A Comparison of the Sexual Behavior of Virginity Pledgers and Matched Nonpledgers

If you actually want to talk about marriage vows and Christians... jeepers, the marriage vows might as well be useless too.
Statistics are usually wrong for individuals. If someone is committed to virginity, and stays committed, they have no need to protect themselves from pregnancy or disease. Most teens do not protect themselves when they do have sex, so
 
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Tetra

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Statistics are usually wrong for individuals. If someone is committed to virginity, and stays committed, they have no need to protect themselves from pregnancy or disease. Most teens do not protect themselves when they do have sex, so
I'm confused what your point is here. Statistics indicate "purity pledges" as a whole are useless... that is, most do not stay committed to them.

If you're suggesting that some individuals follow them, sure, they exist somewhere no doubt. I've never argued there aren't exceptions.
 
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