Leaving Korean churches

[Korean-American Christian]

I can understand that. Best move is probably to distance yourself from the situation in order to heal. After a while, when you've been able to put the pain and the abuse out of your mind and recover, and he's had time to reflect and heal as well (and maybe miss you), then maybe the two of you can get back to enjoying one another's company again.

Said enough at this point. Your personal business, definitely not mine.

I don't think that you are "poking your nose in my personal business."

My point is - I definitely appreciate your wise advice - "Best move is probably to distance yourself from the situation in order to heal"

It's been a very long time since I have actually enjoyed my father's company....I am almost 40 years old, and I have not enjoyed being in my father's presence - not since maybe elementary school?

 

[Hidden In Him]

It's been a very long time since I have actually enjoyed my father's company....I am almost 40 years old, and I have not enjoyed being in my father's presence - not since maybe elementary school?

That's tough. Let me at least give you a little hope. My mother and I really did not get along well, especially after I became a Christian at the age of 21, because she is a card-carrying, fault-finding critic of traditional Christian beliefs, and a very strong debater, which made her infuriating when I was first trying to grow in my faith. She's like a broken record to this day, so much so that the rest of the family (all of whom are not Christian as well) even get sick of hearing her talk. But because I distanced myself from her early on in my walk with Christ, I was able to get all the violent arguments we had about religion out of my mind, and now all I have is love for her. I don't know that I wouldn't grow tired of her constantly-running mouth again if I had to live with her, but her comments don't really bother me much anymore. I can enjoy her company again without getting upset because I healed, became much stronger in what I believed, know how to deal with her arguments if necessary, and no longer feel threatened by what she believes.

Hopefully that can happen for you, in time.

 

[Albion]

Praise Jesus!! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!

Today, I will not be worshiping at Grace Ministries International - the Korean mega-church that I attended until last week.

Today, I will be worshiping at a church of the Nazarene. Praise Jesus!!

I really must leave the Korean Church.

Seems like a good move to me. But I'm somewhat surprised that you chose the Church of the Nazarene rather than a church that was closer to the one you knew--other than for the things about the KOREAN branch of Presbyterianism that you told us you cannot abide any longer, that is.

 

[Korean-American Christian]

That's tough. Let me at least give you a little hope. My mother and I really did not get along well, especially after I became a Christian at the age of 21, because she is a card-carrying, fault-finding critic of traditional Christian beliefs, and a very strong debater, which made her infuriating when I was first trying to grow in my faith. She's like a broken record to this day, so much so that the rest of the family (all of whom are not Christian as well) even get sick of hearing her talk. But because I distanced myself from her early on in my walk with Christ, I was able to get all the violent arguments we had about religion out of my mind, and now all I have is love for her. I don't know that I wouldn't grow tired of her constantly-running mouth again if I had to live with her, but her comments don't really bother me much anymore. I can enjoy her company again without getting upset because I healed, became much stronger in what I believed, know how to deal with her arguments if necessary, and no longer feel threatened by what she believes.

Hopefully that can happen for you, in time.

Thank you for sharing your personal experiences with me....reading about your personal experiences has given me hope that one day, my father and I will be able to enjoy each other's company (hopefully before he gets even older - he's 70 now)

 

[Korean-American Christian]

Seems like a good move to me. But I'm somewhat surprised that you chose the Church of the Nazarene rather than a church that was closer to the one you knew--other than for the things about the KOREAN branch of Presbyterianism that you told us you cannot abide any longer, that is.

Albion....I am not in full agreement with Wesleyan theology, but I chose my local Church of the Nazarene because I have been going there for one month now (on Wednesday evenings for Bible study)

 

[Albion]

Albion....I am not in full agreement with Wesleyan theology, but I chose my local Church of the Nazarene because I have been going there for one month now (on Wednesday evenings for Bible study)

OK, I figured the explanation was something like that. And I do agree that there are many factors that make one congregation more appropriate than another; it's not exclusively about the theological profile.

 

[Korean-American Christian]

OK, I figured the explanation was something like that. And I do agree that there are many factors that make one congregation more appropriate than another; it's not exclusively about the theological profile.

Theology is very important...but I think that whether or not a congregation actively shows the love of God - I think that is more important

 

[Korean-American Christian]

Going to church now. Have a blessed Lord's Day!!

 

[jimmyjimmy]

Seems like a good move to me. But I'm somewhat surprised that you chose the Church of the Nazarene rather than a church that was closer to the one you knew--other than for the things about the KOREAN branch of Presbyterianism that you told us you cannot abide any longer, that is.

Agreed.

I was going to suggest the PCA because it's been so active in Korea, and its theology is sound, or, at least it should be.

 

[Korean-American Christian]

Agreed.

I was going to suggest the PCA because it's been so active in Korea, and its theology is sound, or, at least it should be.

I want to take a break from Presbyterian churches for awhile

 

[Definitely Not Sam]

I praise Jesus because He has allowed me to run from the Korean Church (to a Bible-believing non-Korean church).

Absolute, unquestioning obedience to parents and older people is definitely a spooky and very un-Christian teaching that enslaves entire generations of Korean Christians under the control of humans.

"Disasters will happen in the lives of many young Korean Christians if they are not allowed to question their elders"

I agree....disasters will also happen in the lives of many adult Korean Christians if they are not allowed to question older Korean people.

My Korean father still demands that I absolutely obey him without question...despite the fact that I am almost 40 years old.

My father's favorite Bible verses are Ephesians 6:1-3

Many of the teachings of the Korean Christian Church are contrary to God's will

Though I feel badly that you find your father to be inordinately overbearing, even when you are a fully-grown adult, I'm wondering if there's a practical reason why he might feel the need to be so overbearing, perhaps something not having to do with religious or cultural matters.

When does a boy become a man? At the age of 18? Legally, yes. But we all know that the law and Biblical teachings are not always consistent. For guidance on this question, I apply Ephesians 5:31. If a boy does not leave his father and mother, both physically and emotionally, then he cannot be considered a man. In order for this "leave" to occur, a man must be capable of fending for himself, his wife, and his children without being propped up by his parents. So in Christian terms, a 40-year-old male is still just a boy if he is unable to meet this basic obligation. And, as we know, it is a father's obligation to provide guidance for his boy, no matter how detestable the guidance may feel.

And so before you condemn your father for demanding obedience, consider what he provides in return for obedience. If what he gives you is vital to your life, then your father isn't so wrong to be demanding.

 

[mnorian]

Mod hat on

Permanently
By the OP's request.
Carry on.
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