Harm OCD / PTSD

[Flag777]

hey everyone, first off I hope your having a great day.


I'd like to get some encouragement regarding my ptsd / harm ocd.

I am a Christian (have been my entire life) I am also a law enforcement officer currently off work do to ptsd and harm ocd.

I have had very instructed thoughts about hurting myself and others. By hurting I mean I have had very real thoughts of killing people. The thoughts are very instrusive and have been losing my career and it seems my mind as well. I have been seeing a pastor and psychologist.

I was diagnosed with PTSD and OCD do to the many traumatic incidents I have been apart of as a cop.


I started really studying the Bible to help with my issues. While reading the Old Testament I really hit a hard bump in the road. One day after reading how god commanded the killing of several nations etc in the other testament I had a thought "maybe this is god telling me to hurt someone" since that day I have had extreme anxiety attacks and have a hard time picking up the Bible.

Can any of you relate? Also , what's a good way to tell gods voice from the devils?

I don't believe god would ever command this of anyone in the new covenant but I need someone to confirm this.

God bless you, sorry for the long post but I'm lost. Thanks

Kyle

 

[LiW]

hey everyone, first off I hope your having a great day.

Hi Kyle, sorry to hear of what you've been experiencing. It must be very tough for you to cope. Just wondering if your OCD could be due any deep-seated unresolved issues? Whatever it is, I pray that God's protection will be upon your life and that He'll set you free from both the conditions.

When I have negative thoughts, I'll try to IMMEDIATELY replace those thoughts with something positive or neutral, or I may try to do something (could be any action or activity) that draws my attention away from the negative thoughts. I'll also try not to be angry or disappointed with myself whenever I'm overpowered by those thoughts.

I've read that whenever a negative thought enters our minds, we should just let the thought pass, because when we give it our attention, it'll 'grow', which could be in terms of intensity or frequency or both. Lately, I realise that it actually works.

All the best and God bless!

I'd like to get some encouragement regarding my ptsd / harm ocd.

I am a Christian (have been my entire life) I am also a law enforcement officer currently off work do to ptsd and harm ocd.

I have had very instructed thoughts about hurting myself and others. By hurting I mean I have had very real thoughts of killing people. The thoughts are very instrusive and have been losing my career and it seems my mind as well. I have been seeing a pastor and psychologist.

I was diagnosed with PTSD and OCD do to the many traumatic incidents I have been apart of as a cop.


I started really studying the Bible to help with my issues. While reading the Old Testament I really hit a hard bump in the road. One day after reading how god commanded the killing of several nations etc in the other testament I had a thought "maybe this is god telling me to hurt someone" since that day I have had extreme anxiety attacks and have a hard time picking up the Bible.

Can any of you relate? Also , what's a good way to tell gods voice from the devils?

I don't believe god would ever command this of anyone in the new covenant but I need someone to confirm this.

God bless you, sorry for the long post but I'm lost. Thanks

Kyle

 

[teresa]

hey everyone, first off I hope your having a great day.


I'd like to get some encouragement regarding my ptsd / harm ocd.

I am a Christian (have been my entire life) I am also a law enforcement officer currently off work do to ptsd and harm ocd.

I have had very instructed thoughts about hurting myself and others. By hurting I mean I have had very real thoughts of killing people. The thoughts are very instrusive and have been losing my career and it seems my mind as well. I have been seeing a pastor and psychologist.

I was diagnosed with PTSD and OCD do to the many traumatic incidents I have been apart of as a cop.


I started really studying the Bible to help with my issues. While reading the Old Testament I really hit a hard bump in the road. One day after reading how god commanded the killing of several nations etc in the other testament I had a thought "maybe this is god telling me to hurt someone" since that day I have had extreme anxiety attacks and have a hard time picking up the Bible.

Can any of you relate? Also , what's a good way to tell gods voice from the devils?

I don't believe god would ever command this of anyone in the new covenant but I need someone to confirm this.

God bless you, sorry for the long post but I'm lost. Thanks

Kyle

Because you state that you are Christian, perhaps you would be helped by posting your concerns on our prayer wall here:

Prayer Wall

 

[teresa]

Because you state that you are Christian, perhaps you would be helped by posting your concerns on our prayer wall here:

Prayer Wall

Also, consider consulting with one of our chaplains in private here:
Chaplains Office

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

hey everyone, first off I hope your having a great day.


I'd like to get some encouragement regarding my ptsd / harm ocd.

I am a Christian (have been my entire life) I am also a law enforcement officer currently off work do to ptsd and harm ocd.

I have had very instructed thoughts about hurting myself and others. By hurting I mean I have had very real thoughts of killing people. The thoughts are very instrusive and have been losing my career and it seems my mind as well. I have been seeing a pastor and psychologist.

I was diagnosed with PTSD and OCD do to the many traumatic incidents I have been apart of as a cop.


I started really studying the Bible to help with my issues. While reading the Old Testament I really hit a hard bump in the road. One day after reading how god commanded the killing of several nations etc in the other testament I had a thought "maybe this is god telling me to hurt someone" since that day I have had extreme anxiety attacks and have a hard time picking up the Bible.

Can any of you relate? Also , what's a good way to tell gods voice from the devils?

I don't believe god would ever command this of anyone in the new covenant but I need someone to confirm this.

God bless you, sorry for the long post but I'm lost. Thanks

Kyle

God would never tell your to hurt people...never. As someone. Who struggles with anxiety and intrusive thoughts... I can tell you ... Those thoughts aren't from God and your mind is sick and you just need help.

 

[Flag777]

Thank you for the response . I am currently being treated for my PTSD. I hope you all have a blessed day.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Thank you for the response . I am currently being treated for my PTSD. I hope you all have a blessed day.

You too,never be ashamed to come to us with your problems...were here to be a listening ear

 

[kodadog1024]

Kyle, you're not alone. I went through this awhile back (maybe 5 years ago and remains an underlying theme for me, one that I always fear, but now is more controllable. At my peak (worst time) I had visions/thoughts that revolved around me hurting my family, mainly my wife and myself. It was devastating. I remember reading Rick Warrens's The Purpose Driven Life and my heart sank and thought to myself, "what if this is God's purpose for me, to be a murderer/killer/monster" and I was meant for nothing more than to go to Hell? That thought broke me, because if God was not for me, I had no hope. I woke up with intrusive thoughts and went to bed with them, day in and day out. I was EXHAUSTED, mentally and spiritually. I remember reading some OT too, where Isaiah took his son to be sacrificed and I almost threw up after those intrusive thoughts... What if I had to sacrifice someone, myself?

After therapy, new medicine, a new job and some other things, it finally subsided after about a year. That was my darkest valley I've ever walked through, by myself, but as I look back, this was God's plan for me. My greatest weakness (worry/anxiety) is where I would find Christ's grace and love. So I walk with Him daily and stick close to Him. Do I still get intrusive thoughts? Yea, but now they are much more ?... tolerable, controllable. It's that thorn in my side that will always make me rely upon God's strength, NOT my own. You WILL get there. I feel for you, BUT you are not alone in this. Manly hugs....

 

[Flag777]

Kyle, you're not alone. I went through this awhile back (maybe 5 years ago and remains an underlying theme for me, one that I always fear, but now is more controllable. At my peak (worst time) I had visions/thoughts that revolved around me hurting my family, mainly my wife and myself. It was devastating. I remember reading Rick Warrens's The Purpose Driven Life and my heart sank and thought to myself, "what if this is God's purpose for me, to be a murderer/killer/monster" and I was meant for nothing more than to go to Hell? That thought broke me, because if God was not for me, I had no hope. I woke up with intrusive thoughts and went to bed with them, day in and day out. I was EXHAUSTED, mentally and spiritually. I remember reading some OT too, where Isaiah took his son to be sacrificed and I almost threw up after those intrusive thoughts... What if I had to sacrifice someone, myself?

After therapy, new medicine, a new job and some other things, it finally subsided after about a year. That was my darkest valley I've ever walked through, by myself, but as I look back, this was God's plan for me. My greatest weakness (worry/anxiety) is where I would find Christ's grace and love. So I walk with Him daily and stick close to Him. Do I still get intrusive thoughts? Yea, but now they are much more ?... tolerable, controllable. It's that thorn in my side that will always make me rely upon God's strength, NOT my own. You WILL get there. I feel for you, BUT you are not alone in this. Manly hugs....

Thank you so much for this post. It seems like we went thru the exact same thing. It's been the worst nightmare imaginable . I know god wouldn't ask any of us to hurt one another, but you know how the mind works with these instrusive thoughts. The battle sucks, thanks again for the post

 

[Bashmash85]

Hello flag77.

I've been suffering with harm/self harm OCD since a bit before Halloween of 2016. Doesn't seem like much to others who've suffered longer, but before that I had OCD about me dying randomly or passing out, and before that, I had harm OCD as a kid with bad thoughts about my mom and sister. It's come and gone my whole life, but one thing I can assure you is that God would never want/ask you to commit sin. God also knows how much each of us can take individually and would never give you too big of a burden. I know it feels like absolute hell some days, like you're going to die or kill others because the thoughts don't shut up, but I can assure you that God is with you and to fear not! I recently stumbled across a great article about writing a truth book. What that entails is you write each fear you may have, and write truthful scripture next to it. For example, God hates me and wants me to kill others. I'm sure there's scripture that clearly states otherwise. If you continue to write your fears and then look at the Bible truth, the truth will set you free! Be kind to yourself and remember that this is a journey and God wouldn't have let you have OCD unless he knew you could handle it andmaybe help others one day. I have many books in my possession I think coulddo a great deal of help for you, but start with going to harmocd.com and reading theGod memorandum. It shows truly how much Godcares. Read that every night before bed for 100 days and I promise you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know 100 days might seem like an eternity, but each day you will get better, I promise you that. Remember, you're not crazy and you're not alone ever! It's just your OCD that's it and always it! There are many people like you praying for you and struggling as you have. It's hard to say this, but I used to cry and beg God for him to take it away, I used to cry why me!!! Lord save me! Now I've changed and inmost days I say, "why not me!" If God is with me,who is against me! Remember that. Take care my friend. I will pray for you. Please respond anytime with any questions or concerns

 

[AnnaE]

I realize this post is a couple of years old, but I never thought I would find someone that had the same thought about “what if God purposed for me to do harm”, wow! I wouldn’t wish this OCD content on anyone, but I have to say it is so comforting to know I’m not alone.

I was diagnosed with OCD a little over a year ago, though I’ve shown the symptoms for much longer. A harm Intrusive thought it was brought me to a place of extreme anxiety, and to say it’s been the hardest year of my life is an understatement.

Along these lines, I’ve questioned the goodness of God, questioned if I’m not one of the “elect” and God has me destined for hell. The doubts have been unreal.

Icing on the cake, my husband is the discipleship pastor at our church, and I’m a mom to three precious little boys. OCD has been a true trial, to say the least. A torment. I’m currently reading, “can Christianity cure OCD?”, but would love recommendations for other resources ???

Kyle, you're not alone. I went through this awhile back (maybe 5 years ago and remains an underlying theme for me, one that I always fear, but now is more controllable. At my peak (worst time) I had visions/thoughts that revolved around me hurting my family, mainly my wife and myself. It was devastating. I remember reading Rick Warrens's The Purpose Driven Life and my heart sank and thought to myself, "what if this is God's purpose for me, to be a murderer/killer/monster" and I was meant for nothing more than to go to Hell? That thought broke me, because if God was not for me, I had no hope. I woke up with intrusive thoughts and went to bed with them, day in and day out. I was EXHAUSTED, mentally and spiritually. I remember reading some OT too, where Isaiah took his son to be sacrificed and I almost threw up after those intrusive thoughts... What if I had to sacrifice someone, myself?

After therapy, new medicine, a new job and some other things, it finally subsided after about a year. That was my darkest valley I've ever walked through, by myself, but as I look back, this was God's plan for me. My greatest weakness (worry/anxiety) is where I would find Christ's grace and love. So I walk with Him daily and stick close to Him. Do I still get intrusive thoughts? Yea, but now they are much more ?... tolerable, controllable. It's that thorn in my side that will always make me rely upon God's strength, NOT my own. You WILL get there. I feel for you, BUT you are not alone in this. Manly hugs....

Kyle, you're not alone. I went through this awhile back (maybe 5 years ago and remains an underlying theme for me, one that I always fear, but now is more controllable. At my peak (worst time) I had visions/thoughts that revolved around me hurting my family, mainly my wife and myself. It was devastating. I remember reading Rick Warrens's The Purpose Driven Life and my heart sank and thought to myself, "what if this is God's purpose for me, to be a murderer/killer/monster" and I was meant for nothing more than to go to Hell? That thought broke me, because if God was not for me, I had no hope. I woke up with intrusive thoughts and went to bed with them, day in and day out. I was EXHAUSTED, mentally and spiritually. I remember reading some OT too, where Isaiah took his son to be sacrificed and I almost threw up after those intrusive thoughts... What if I had to sacrifice someone, myself?

After therapy, new medicine, a new job and some other things, it finally subsided after about a year. That was my darkest valley I've ever walked through, by myself, but as I look back, this was God's plan for me. My greatest weakness (worry/anxiety) is where I would find Christ's grace and love. So I walk with Him daily and stick close to Him. Do I still get intrusive thoughts? Yea, but now they are much more ?... tolerable, controllable. It's that thorn in my side that will always make me rely upon God's strength, NOT my own. You WILL get there. I feel for you, BUT you are not alone in this. Manly hugs....

 

[joshua 1 9]

Can any of you relate?

Not really but I remember back when I was in training and they were teaching us to stuff bodies in body bags. They said do not worry if you put three legs or three arms in one bag. No one cares. The reason is that the human mind has limits and no one can deal with trying to sort out arms and legs. "5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2Cor10 We overcome through the Blood of Jesus. God has a plan and a purpose for us and our life and we need to seek Him to show us the way. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways know Him, and He will make your paths straight." prov3:5