Christian masculinity

Paidiske

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I think "independence as a community" and "independence as an individual" are very different things.

As individuals we are not called to independence. We are called to mutuality; to a lifestyle in which the eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you." We are called to play our part in a bigger body where we both have things to contribute and needs to be met. And in this way we become more than the sum of our parts.

A true self-sufficient hermit who sees no one and neither gives nor receives anything but from God is a rarity and, I would argue, an exception in the Christian life.
 
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RDKirk

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I think "independence as a community" and "independence as an individual" are very different things.

As individuals we are not called to independence. We are called to mutuality; to a lifestyle in which the eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you." We are called to play our part in a bigger body where we both have things to contribute and needs to be met. And in this way we become more than the sum of our parts.

A true self-sufficient hermit who sees no one and neither gives nor receives anything but from God is a rarity and, I would argue, an exception in the Christian life.

Indeed.
 
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Dave-W

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Look, the one notable difference I know of, and can be either in a male or female today, is how one handles "pain"... The way one deals with pain, suffering, sorrow, anguish, trouble, trails, tribulations, persecutions, problems is what, classically anyhow has separated the masculine and the feminine...
I know of no females who have been repeatedly beaten for expressing pain; as a means to train the person to not express it.
 
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Dave-W

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A true self-sufficient hermit who sees no one and neither gives nor receives anything but from God is a rarity and, I would argue, an exception in the Christian life.
CS Lewis once said "The Bible knows nothing of solitary religion."
 
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RDKirk

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That made me laugh, thanks, for that...

But, classically that has kinda been the case, except you forgot to add that sometimes women had a scrape, or a little flesh wound, or a boo-boo, and thought they were gonna die, and freak out because of it, there's that extreme also...

Where's the middle ground...?

God Bless!

I have little experience with women who "freak out" over minor pain and injury.

Actually, I have no experience with such women. All the women I've known tend to have suffered a lot of pain that they've rarely expressed (migraines, menstrual cramps). I actually heard one woman tell another, "You ain't havin' a baby, so you're alright."

My point is, in fact, the opposite: Women will tend to discount pain without validation from other women that it's valid to react to it. Men tend to discount pain if their friends tell them it's not valid to react to it.
 
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Neogaia777

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I have little experience with women who "freak out" over minor pain and injury.

Actually, I have no experience with such women. All the women I've known tend to have suffered a lot of pain that they've rarely expressed (migraines, menstrual cramps). I actually heard one woman tell another, "You ain't havin' a baby, so you're alright."

My point is, in fact, the opposite: Women will tend to discount pain without validation from other women that it's valid to react to it. Men tend to discount pain if their friends tell them it's not valid to react to it.
Well, either way, either sex, it's a problem with knowing how to validate and acknowledge and take care of and manage pain, while not shoving it aside...? Well, what is best and healthiest...? The two extremes exist, male of female, due to personality type or not, or upbringing, the healthy part has to be somewhere in the middle I would think...

God Bless!
 
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LovebirdsFlying

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I know of no females who have been repeatedly beaten for expressing pain; as a means to train the person to not express it.
*raises hand*

It's a topic for the Recovery section, but yes, I completely lost my ability to show pain for several years of my young adult life, because it was punished out of me. My childhood took "If you don't shut up, I'll give you something to cry about" quite seriously.
 
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Dave-W

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yes, I completely lost my ability to show pain for several years of my young adult life, because it was punished out of me. My childhood took "If you don't shut up, I'll give you something to cry about" quite seriously.
I stand corrected. It always seemed to be a "big boys do not cry" type of thing; and I knew many guys that had emotional response beat out of them. You are the first female I have heard that from.

I am in my 60s and still have great difficulty in showing pain.
 
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Tallguy88

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So far here I have not seen any "Christian masculinity" characteristics mentioned here that do not apply to Christian women just as well.
This isn't a men vs women thread. Some of what we talk about could very well be good traits for women as well.

It's about men acting like men in a Christian context.
 
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SnowyMacie

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I stand corrected. It always seemed to be a "big boys do not cry" type of thing; and I knew many guys that had emotional response beat out of them. You are the first female I have heard that from.

I am in my 60s and still have great difficulty in showing pain.

I think a lot of his has to do with how you were raised. My mother would freak out if I ever even so much scraped my knee as a child, and as a result, I learned to freak out about almost every little injury. She can handle pain herself, but has one of the strongest protective instincts I've ever seen in another person.
 
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Dave-W

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I think a lot of his has to do with how you were raised. My mother would freak out if I ever even so much scraped my knee as a child, and as a result, I learned to freak out about almost every little injury. She can handle pain herself, but has one of the strongest protective instincts I've ever seen in another person.
Yeah, I get that.

My dad was so concerned about no one seeing me crying that he would regularly beat me to nearly unconscious and require that I not shed one tear or whimper. If I could not, then the process was repeated until I could. That was carried out at least weekly for a few years.
 
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RDKirk

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This isn't a men vs women thread. Some of what we talk about could very well be good traits for women as well.

It's about men acting like men in a Christian context.

I don't understand what you want to discuss, then, if ultimately there is no gender difference between men and women in a Christian context. Since you've already said you're not talking about gender roles:

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. -- Galatians 3

So beyond gender roles made necessary by the current age (which you don't want to discuss), there is no difference--especially in the Christian context, according to scripture.
 
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Tallguy88

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Yeah, I get that.

My dad was so concerned about no one seeing me crying that he would regularly beat me to nearly unconscious and require that I not shed one tear or whimper. If I could not, then the process was repeated until I could. That was carried out at least weekly for a few years.
Wow, that's abuse right there. Physical and emotional. Sorry you had to go through that.
 
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Tallguy88

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I don't understand what you want to discuss, then, if ultimately there is no gender difference between men and women in a Christian context. Since you've already said you're not talking about gender roles:

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. -- Galatians 3

So beyond gender roles made necessary by the current age (which you don't want to discuss), there is no difference--especially in the Christian context, according to scripture.
Things like acting responsible, taking care of your family, being available to your kids, being the spiritual leader in the house. All of which are exemplified in St Joseph like the OP says.

I know tons of men who do none of these things; deadbeat dads/husbands in every sense. I question their right to be called men, because they are really just overgrown boys.
 
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RDKirk

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Things like acting responsible, taking care of your family, being available to your kids, being the spiritual leader in the house. All of which are exemplified in St Joseph like the OP says.

I know tons of men who do none of these things; deadbeat dads/husbands in every sense. I question their right to be called men, because they are really just overgrown boys.

Those aren't limited to a Christian context.
 
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Dave-W

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Wow, that's abuse right there. Physical and emotional. Sorry you had to go through that.
Yeah - today he would have been locked up for doing anything remotely close to that.

I forgave him when I was in college and it took many years but we did rebuild somewhat of a working relationship as dad and son.
 
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Tallguy88

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Those aren't limited to a Christian context.
But they should be exemplified by a Christian. If a pagan has Christian virtues, then it is because of the natural law written onto his heart. But a Christian has more to go on than natural law, we have the law of grace and the teachings of the Bible to teach us how we should act. So if a supposed Christian acts contrary to how the Bible shows us men should live, he is worse than a similarly behaved pagan.
 
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Tallguy88

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Yeah - today he would have been locked up for doing anything remotely close to that.

I forgave him when I was in college and it took many years but we did rebuild somewhat of a working relationship as dad and son.
That's good. My dad was/is an extreme alcoholic. So this thread is pretty personal when it comes to Christian men not acting like men. He knows the bible like the back of his hand, but he is emotionally manipulitive, belligerent when drinking, will spend all his money on drink rather than support his family. Etc.
 
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Dave-W

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That's good. My dad was/is an extreme alcoholic. So this thread is pretty personal when it comes to Christian men not acting like men. He knows the bible like the back of his hand,

My dad was a seminarian, ordained in the Wesleyan Methodist denom. He also knew the bible really well.
 
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