The Negative Impact of Purity Culture

Paidiske

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Paul Yohannan, you don't see marriage as contracted by the couple? My understanding is that the couple are the ministers of their marriage, and that the priest witnesses and asks God to bless their union but does not create it. I believe that's consistent with the Western Christian understanding since earliest times.

Does the East hold a different view?
 
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Paul Yohannan

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Paul Yohannan, you don't see marriage as contracted by the couple? My understanding is that the couple are the ministers of their marriage, and that the priest witnesses and asks God to bless their union but does not create it. I believe that's consistent with the Western Christian understanding since earliest times.

Does the East hold a different view?

In the East, the marriage sacrament, or crowning as we call it, is actually a mystery performed by the priest to unite the couple. It is one of the liturgical quirks of the Eastern churches.
 
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Leevo

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Purity Culture Definition:
Purity culture has an obsessive focus on virginity before marriage and on maintaining emotional purity that pervades fundamentalism and evangelicalism, made visible in purity balls, purity rings, purity pledges, and modesty teachings.

It ties your worth as a person to your virginity, not who you are in Christ.

NOTE: Remember, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin, but there is something wrong about making virginity an idol, and that's what purity culture does.


As a millennial, the church was obsessed with purity culture during my childhood, you might remember books like I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris, who now himself admits it was a mistake.

In a recent article by Ruth Graham:


I just picked up a new book titled Damaged Goods by Dianna Anderson... looking forward to reading it.

Purity Culture had a negative impact on my life, on my marriage, and I'm a male. I can't even image the imagine the negative impact on women. :( Purity balls, rings and the like, in my opinion are super weird and sometimes gross.

I am interested in responses from women on this one, and how purity culture impacted them?



I know you wanted responses from women, but I am a male and tend to agree with you. I think purity is something that we should strive for, in all things, not just sexual things. I think we need to stress the importance of saving yourself until marriage because it is God's design for marriage... However, I do think that the church does not always go about it right when it comes to this topic and can make people feel unwanted or not good enough to be a son or daughter of the Most High King. I think we need to approach this topic a little carefully going forward in the church, especially in the times we live in, where sex is regarded as something used only for "fun".
 
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Lepanto

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Purity Culture Definition:
Purity culture has an obsessive focus on virginity before marriage and on maintaining emotional purity that pervades fundamentalism and evangelicalism, made visible in purity balls, purity rings, purity pledges, and modesty teachings.

It ties your worth as a person to your virginity, not who you are in Christ.

NOTE: Remember, there is nothing wrong with being a virgin, but there is something wrong about making virginity an idol, and that's what purity culture does.


As a millennial, the church was obsessed with purity culture during my childhood, you might remember books like I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris, who now himself admits it was a mistake.

In a recent article by Ruth Graham:


I just picked up a new book titled Damaged Goods by Dianna Anderson... looking forward to reading it.

Purity Culture had a negative impact on my life, on my marriage, and I'm a male. I can't even image the imagine the negative impact on women. :( Purity balls, rings and the like, in my opinion are super weird and sometimes gross.

I am interested in responses from women on this one, and how purity culture impacted them?

I don't think there is anything wrong with purity, I believe its benefits far outweigh its negative impacts.
 
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Rajni

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I was a virgin when I got married at 20, and I suppose I'm not afraid to write this, the first time we did have sex, I actually felt bad, like I did something wrong.
I, too, was a virgin till marriage.
The downside for me was that it was only after I had gotten myself locked into marriage that I discovered I wasn't really into sex. No wonder it was so easy for me to wait! :D

-
 
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Tetra

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I don't think there is anything wrong with purity, I believe its benefits far outweigh its negative impacts.
Nothing wrong with being "pure", but I do think there is with the idolatry of purity. It's out of that idolatry we see the negative impacts.
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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I think the most negative impact about purity, is due to trying to save ones emotional purity, which is almost always associated with emotional immaturity, which is most of the negative aspect of purity, much more than the physical aspect, cause it makes for grown up toddlers basically...
Wait...so remaining sexually abstinent makes you immature? What?! Despite the fact the person may have a job,degree ,their own place and can take care of themselves? I think its comments like these that pushed me to lose my own virginity at age 23 because I was afraid of being seen as a freak because I was old as Methuselah and still untouched. The guy had 6 partners before me and was an immature idiot, having sex doesn't magically make you mature, if that's the case their won't be so many dead beat mothers and fathers with God knows how many kids. Sensitivity to be shown for those on both sides of the coin. Being pure doesn't make you emotionally immature and you don't need to gain "experience" to fix this problem. Also being victims of sexual molestion doesn't make you any less pure than a virgin, it doesn't make you damaged or broken.

I swear some people make things harder than what it is.
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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Nothing wrong with being "pure", but I do think there is with the idolatry of purity. It's out of that idolatry we see the negative impacts.
What? The world prizes and thrives off sex...
People who don't lose their virginity at 17 are seen as lame and looked at differently. Purity is differently not the norm in this world. Its sex and debauchery all the way.
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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So christ was a grown up toddler? There is 0 connection between emotional maturity and purity. I'm sorry but there isn't. Unless I misunderstood you I don't see how having lots of sex is going to make you more mature. I know virgins are thought of as being clueless like tim tebow but I can attest that not all virgins are naive. Its just a stereotype.
Right!!!!! This times 100
 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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I, too, was a virgin till marriage.
The downside for me was that it was only after I had gotten myself locked into marriage that I discovered I wasn't really into sex. No wonder it was so easy for me to wait! :D

-
Same, I'm just not into sex either. I've been by myself so long that... Its even odd for me to think being with another person. If I weren't attached to men, I'd think I was asexual. Lol
 
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If purity culture is about restricting freedom then I am against it. I believe in free choice to obey or disobey the word.
I didn't even know about purity culture till this thread... Promiscuity is what's thriving. I kinda feel like alot of people in this thread want to justify casual sex and multiple partners, sorry but its not happening.
 
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JackRT

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As I was reading through these posts this kept coming back to me:

Butch Hancock of "The Flatlanders" band --- "Life in Lubbock, Texas taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
 
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dayhiker

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The purity movement wasn't around when I was young. I'm glad.
Even with the teaching I got on sex being negative messed with my mind and caused me a lot of pain. Took me a long time to think thru and find out how what I understand the Bible to teach and come to a place where I could live sexual in faith.
Part of that is to see Jesus as my purity and now it doesn't matter to me if I've been sexual or a woman has been sexual that doesn't define purity. To me its what we are doing with Jesus that determines if we are pure or not.
I have spent a lot of time over the years trying to abstain from sexual activity and I didn't enjoy my relationship with Christ or anyone else when I tried that. I finally had to think thru what the Bible said about sex and what would work for me. It took a long time sense the church is only teaching one model of Christian sexuality.
 
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fide

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This thread troubles me deeply. Purity is a beautiful, holy virtue; to speak of it in "quotes" - so as to isolate and objectify it - appears to make it an isolated and expendable "thing," subject to man's judgments, approval,acceptance or rejection as a "thing" of value or of no value. Purity is a characteristic of God, and a human virtue to be cultivated and guarded - protected, valued, treasured!

And if one's purity has been violated and lost, or disvalued and thrown away, it can be recovered in Christ by sincere remorse for sins committed, and penance. (Catholics can thank God also for the sacrament of confession - God has given us in the Church a means for recovery from sins, knowing our vulnerabilities and falls into very bad choices).

Mat 5:8 "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

2Co 11:2 I feel a divine jealousy for you, for I betrothed you to Christ to present you as a pure bride to her one husband.

Php 1:10 so that you may approve what is excellent, and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,

Php 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

1Ti 4:12 Let no one despise your youth, but set the believers an example in speech and conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.

1Ti 5:1 Do not rebuke an older man but exhort him as you would a father; treat younger men like brothers,
1Ti 5:2 older women like mothers, younger women like sisters, in all purity.

1Ti 5:22 Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, nor participate in another man's sins; keep yourself pure.

2Ti 2:22 So shun youthful passions and aim at righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call upon the Lord from a pure heart.

Tit 1:15 To the pure all things are pure, but to the corrupt and unbelieving nothing is pure; their very minds and consciences are corrupted.

Jas 3:17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, without uncertainty or insincerity.

1Jn 3:3 And every one who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.

 
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Far Side Of the Moon

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This thread troubles me deeply. Purity is a beautiful, holy virtue; to speak of it in "quotes" - so as to isolate and objectify it - appears to make it an isolated and expendable "thing," subject to man's judgments, approval,acceptance or rejection as a "thing" of value or of no value. Purity is a characteristic of God, and a human virtue to be cultivated and guarded - protected, valued, treasured!

And if one's purity has been violated and lost, or disvalued and thrown away, it can be recovered in Christ by sincere remorse for sins committed, and penance. (Catholics can thank God also for the sacrament of confession - God has given us in the Church a means for recovery from sins, knowing our vulnerabilities and falls into very bad choices).

Mat 5:8 "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

2Co 11:2 I feel a divine jealousy for you, for I betrothed you to Christ to present you as a pure bride to her one husband.

Php 1:10 so that you may approve what is excellent, and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,

Php 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

1Ti 4:12 Let no one despise your youth, but set the believers an example in speech and conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.

1Ti 5:1 Do not rebuke an older man but exhort him as you would a father; treat younger men like brothers,
1Ti 5:2 older women like mothers, younger women like sisters, in all purity.

1Ti 5:22 Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, nor participate in another man's sins; keep yourself pure.

2Ti 2:22 So shun youthful passions and aim at righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call upon the Lord from a pure heart.

Tit 1:15 To the pure all things are pure, but to the corrupt and unbelieving nothing is pure; their very minds and consciences are corrupted.

Jas 3:17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, without uncertainty or insincerity.

1Jn 3:3 And every one who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure.

This thread troubles too
 
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ritualism is weird, but I don't see the issue with desiring your daughter to save herself sexually for her husband.
Right, I don't either. This thread seems to be shaming vriginity, I don't like it.
 
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Tetra

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I didn't even know about purity culture till this thread... Promiscuity is what's thriving. I kinda feel like alot of people in this thread want to justify casual sex and multiple partners, sorry but its not happening.
Wait what!? No one mentioned anything of a sort!! The negation of purity culture doesn't mean the promotion of promiscuity.
 
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