Unpardonable sin

31gH9N.9.

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Hello, I believe I've commited the unpardonable sin, or at least that it is impossible for me to be "renewed unto repentance".

I won't go to much into detail but years ago I believe that God shone His light into my life in a way that was unmistakable, he showed me my sin, and he showed my a just a glimpse of his love. Afterwards I had a knowledge of sin that I never had before. In my heart I kept just saying no to Him and said I wanted to continue on in the same sinful ways that I had been living in. I even remember a time when I was having a whole lot of fun living an extremely sinful life ( while somewhere in my conscience, I knew it was wrong) and thinking to myself " even if hell is real, it can't be to bad, I can handle it, after all, all my friends are going there." and even worse at a point later when I was selling drugs I knew that I was basically doing work for the devil by keeping people deceived by the drugs I was selling. This continued for a few years, all the while trying to convince myself that I was just paranoid and that the Bible wasn't true. At one point later on, after reading a little bit from the bible and trying to find things I didn't agree with, I would talk to people about how untrue the Bible is.

Eventually I came to a point where I admitted to myself that it was true, and that Jesus Christ was the only way to be saved from hell. I started reading the bible and seeking God in prayer, attending church, fasting, etc. About 4 months into this I was reading A Pilgrim's Progress and came across the story of the man in the iron cage. It drew my attention to Hebrews 6:4-6
It was the first time I ever became conscious of how grave of a sin mine was in shunning that light that had been given me and I became aware of the consequences of "sinning against light"
Since then it's been almost a year, and I've had many days spent in agony over whether or not I'm beyond forgiveness, sometimes having hope for a short while, but I always fall back into this state.

I believe I have committed a sin like the one Judas committed, and that the fruit of his and mine are the same, deep pain of guilt and remorse, but unable to approach God and find forgiveness. I also see that at times when people have talked with me about Jesus in public I almost want them to not talk about him, and now I see my sin as the Pharisees that told Jesus to silence the worship upon his entry into Jerusalem. It seems like I can even match up my condition with every detestable infamous character in the bible that gave up eternal riches for earthly riches.

Do you think I'm beyond forgiveness? I have been spending the last few days in complete agony and impending doom hangs over my head whenever I'm not distracted by work or something worldly.

If you think I have committed this sin please tell me and don't leave me wondering.
 

rockytopva

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The unpardonable sin is an accusation that Satan uses to destroy those of weak faith. Had you committed the unpardonable sin you would not be here talking about it. If E = mc2 then we can divide and conclude that...

Mass (m) = Energy (E/c2)

And there are three varieties...

Natural E/c2 - All mass is basically cooled plasma
Mental E/c2 - Mentally, A mathematical formula, but this has chemical and spiritual properties as well.
Spiritual E/c2 - E (motivation, warmth, love) / c2 (faith, hope, charity, joy)

If Satan can destroy the faith he can turn a soul over from light to darkness. Faith turns on the light and dispels darkness. I would recommend that you focus on faith teachings. Go on a fanatical faith diet! Only let things through your senses that build imagination, light, and faith!

 
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rockytopva

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7 And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,
8 And prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven.
9 And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.
10 And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.
11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death. - Revelation 12

It is the business of the old arch angel Satan, formally known as Lucifer, to tare down faith by accusing people of things that they are not guilty of.
 
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Aldebaran

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I feel that I have trampled the blood of Christ, and I cannot say with Paul "but I obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief"

Absolutely not! What you described is God pursuing you for a long time and you were resisting, but He didn't give up on you. Now that you've finally decided to give into His grace, do you think He's now going to reject you? The devil would like you to believe that. But trust me, you've come to where God wants you to be.
 
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Paul of Eugene OR

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Hello, I believe I've commited the unpardonable sin, or at least that it is impossible for me to be "renewed unto repentance".

I won't go to much into detail but years ago I believe that God shone His light into my life in a way that was unmistakable, he showed me my sin, and he showed my a just a glimpse of his love. Afterwards I had a knowledge of sin that I never had before. In my heart I kept just saying no to Him and said I wanted to continue on in the same sinful ways that I had been living in. I even remember a time when I was having a whole lot of fun living an extremely sinful life ( while somewhere in my conscience, I knew it was wrong) and thinking to myself " even if hell is real, it can't be to bad, I can handle it, after all, all my friends are going there." and even worse at a point later when I was selling drugs I knew that I was basically doing work for the devil by keeping people deceived by the drugs I was selling. This continued for a few years, all the while trying to convince myself that I was just paranoid and that the Bible wasn't true. At one point later on, after reading a little bit from the bible and trying to find things I didn't agree with, I would talk to people about how untrue the Bible is.

Eventually I came to a point where I admitted to myself that it was true, and that Jesus Christ was the only way to be saved from hell. I started reading the bible and seeking God in prayer, attending church, fasting, etc. About 4 months into this I was reading A Pilgrim's Progress and came across the story of the man in the iron cage. It drew my attention to Hebrews 6:4-6
It was the first time I ever became conscious of how grave of a sin mine was in shunning that light that had been given me and I became aware of the consequences of "sinning against light"
Since then it's been almost a year, and I've had many days spent in agony over whether or not I'm beyond forgiveness, sometimes having hope for a short while, but I always fall back into this state.

I believe I have committed a sin like the one Judas committed, and that the fruit of his and mine are the same, deep pain of guilt and remorse, but unable to approach God and find forgiveness. I also see that at times when people have talked with me about Jesus in public I almost want them to not talk about him, and now I see my sin as the Pharisees that told Jesus to silence the worship upon his entry into Jerusalem. It seems like I can even match up my condition with every detestable infamous character in the bible that gave up eternal riches for earthly riches.

Do you think I'm beyond forgiveness? I have been spending the last few days in complete agony and impending doom hangs over my head whenever I'm not distracted by work or something worldly.

If you think I have committed this sin please tell me and don't leave me wondering.

My thought is that you have not. But you need to plead the mercy of God, begin (or continue) doing good instead of bad, and wait patiently for God. I suspect you are in for a season of testing.
 
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rockytopva

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Not only don't I believe that you have committed the unpardonable sin, but I believe that the Holy Spirit himself has led you to sign up to this site!

Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. - Revelation 3:20

Open the heart door my friend! Your blessing is here right now!

 
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rockytopva

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Thanks but I don't know what you mean by this.
Faith teachings... Encouraging yourself... Faith is a tool that will motivate you to do great things!

And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God. - 1 Samuel 30:6
 
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Goatee

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One big thing you HAVE to remember. Very important too!

JESUS CAME TO SAVE SINNERS!!!!

No sin, in the eyes of God is unforgivable.

Repent. Seek God's forgiveness and absolution and soldier on. Taking up ones cross is not easy. To follow Jesus is not easy.

Pray. Ask God for guidance.

He loves you my friend. We all do!
 
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Norbert L

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Hello, I believe I've commited the unpardonable sin, or at least that it is impossible for me to be "renewed unto repentance".

I won't go to much into detail but years ago I believe that God shone His light into my life in a way that was unmistakable, he showed me my sin, and he showed my a just a glimpse of his love. Afterwards I had a knowledge of sin that I never had before. In my heart I kept just saying no to Him and said I wanted to continue on in the same sinful ways that I had been living in. I even remember a time when I was having a whole lot of fun living an extremely sinful life ( while somewhere in my conscience, I knew it was wrong) and thinking to myself " even if hell is real, it can't be to bad, I can handle it, after all, all my friends are going there." and even worse at a point later when I was selling drugs I knew that I was basically doing work for the devil by keeping people deceived by the drugs I was selling. This continued for a few years, all the while trying to convince myself that I was just paranoid and that the Bible wasn't true. At one point later on, after reading a little bit from the bible and trying to find things I didn't agree with, I would talk to people about how untrue the Bible is.

Eventually I came to a point where I admitted to myself that it was true, and that Jesus Christ was the only way to be saved from hell. I started reading the bible and seeking God in prayer, attending church, fasting, etc. About 4 months into this I was reading A Pilgrim's Progress and came across the story of the man in the iron cage. It drew my attention to Hebrews 6:4-6
It was the first time I ever became conscious of how grave of a sin mine was in shunning that light that had been given me and I became aware of the consequences of "sinning against light"
Since then it's been almost a year, and I've had many days spent in agony over whether or not I'm beyond forgiveness, sometimes having hope for a short while, but I always fall back into this state.

I believe I have committed a sin like the one Judas committed, and that the fruit of his and mine are the same, deep pain of guilt and remorse, but unable to approach God and find forgiveness. I also see that at times when people have talked with me about Jesus in public I almost want them to not talk about him, and now I see my sin as the Pharisees that told Jesus to silence the worship upon his entry into Jerusalem. It seems like I can even match up my condition with every detestable infamous character in the bible that gave up eternal riches for earthly riches.

Do you think I'm beyond forgiveness? I have been spending the last few days in complete agony and impending doom hangs over my head whenever I'm not distracted by work or something worldly.

If you think I have committed this sin please tell me and don't leave me wondering.
Look at the latter half of the ten commandments. Do you believe killing someone is justifiable because you don't like them? That lying about an event is a good thing because you'll benefit from it and it's ok to have as many sex partners as you crave for? Do you think defrauding people out of their money is good?

What you're experiencing is this, as one translation puts it, "But if you don't do well, sin is lying outside your door ready to attack. It wants to control you, but you must master it" Genesis 4:7.

You're gonna have to fight, to overcome, don't for one moment thinks it's the unpardonable sin.
 
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31gH9N.9.

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Now that you've finally decided to give into His grace, do you think He's now going to reject you? The devil would like you to believe that. But trust me, you've come to where God wants you to be.

O how I'd love to believe that. But I keep reading passages in the new testament that make me think other wise

Luke 23:34- Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.

1 Timothy 1:13- Who was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious: but I obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief.

Hebrews 10:26- For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,

I've talked to the two different pastors I've had over the past year, and many a few mentors, and they all say that If I was past forgiveness, I wouldn't care. But I read about Judas and Esau, who most definitely cared about what they'd done, but did not find peace with God afterwards.

I've had times when my heart has ached for want of Christ, but I have not yet ever found peace with God. Today while I was i sorrow about what I'd done, I'd find myself thinking " You've sinned against the only one who could save you, and such a grievous sin indeed! It is a sin of betrayal, and it has set your heart against Him permanently"

I'm under the impression that if there is hope for me, I will only find it in his Word, but it's hard to read sometimes because this guilt lashes out at me and makes me give up all hope.
 
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TurtleAnne

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Here is a good article on this topic: Unpardonable Sin

There are two important things to consider with this, in my opinion:

1. If you feel the Holy Spirit reaching out to you, if you have that desire to know and serve God, then the chances are VERY high that you have no actually committed the unpardonable sin. If you had committed the unpardonable sin, then you would be cut off, and if you feel so moved about your desire to know and serve God that you are here on this forum expressing pain about it, then you are quite obviously not cut off. The Holy Spirit is still reaching out to you. Demons, satan, fallen angels, etc will use every trick they can to try to discourage you from being saved and having a relationship with Jesus, and what more severe trick is there than trying to convince you that it would be pointless, so that you don't even try. Break through the manipulation and see that the Holy Spirit is reaching out to you even now at this very moment.

2. Remember the higher spiritual meaning in this life of ours. Even if you are scared that you may have committed the unpardonable sin, remember that ultimately while it is wonderful that we can be saved, we seek to serve God because it is RIGHT, because we could be leading others towards salvation, because it is what God has planned for us. And then take heart with 1 John 4:

In this way, love has been perfected among us, so that we may have confidence on the day of judgment; for in this world we are just like Him. There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear,because fear involves punishment. The one who fears has not been perfected in love.


It is normal to be afraid! We are not perfect in our love as Jesus was and is. But again you can cut through the manipulations trying to come at you, and know that even now the Holy Spirit reaches out to you. Allow yourself to recognize it and embrace it, and overcome that fear that satan tries to use to hold you back.
 
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31gH9N.9.

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Here is a good article on this topic: Unpardonable Sin

There are two important things to consider with this, in my opinion:

1. If you feel the Holy Spirit reaching out to you, if you have that desire to know and serve God, then the chances are VERY high that you have no actually committed the unpardonable sin. If you had committed the unpardonable sin, then you would be cut off, and if you feel so moved about your desire to know and serve God that you are here on this forum expressing pain about it, then you are quite obviously not cut off. The Holy Spirit is still reaching out to you. Demons, satan, fallen angels, etc will use every trick they can to try to discourage you from being saved and having a relationship with Jesus, and what more severe trick is there than trying to convince you that it would be pointless, so that you don't even try. Break through the manipulation and see that the Holy Spirit is reaching out to you even now at this very moment.

2. Remember the higher spiritual meaning in this life of ours. Even if you are scared that you may have committed the unpardonable sin, remember that ultimately while it is wonderful that we can be saved, we seek to serve God because it is RIGHT, because we could be leading others towards salvation, because it is what God has planned for us. And then take heart with 1 John 4:

In this way, love has been perfected among us, so that we may have confidence on the day of judgment; for in this world we are just like Him. There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear,because fear involves punishment. The one who fears has not been perfected in love.


It is normal to be afraid! We are not perfect in our love as Jesus was and is. But again you can cut through the manipulations trying to come at you, and know that even now the Holy Spirit reaches out to you. Allow yourself to recognize it and embrace it, and overcome that fear that satan tries to use to hold you back.

Thank you TurtleAnne that is very encouraging and I hope it's true.
 
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faroukfarouk

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Here is a good article on this topic: Unpardonable Sin

There are two important things to consider with this, in my opinion:

1. If you feel the Holy Spirit reaching out to you, if you have that desire to know and serve God, then the chances are VERY high that you have no actually committed the unpardonable sin. If you had committed the unpardonable sin, then you would be cut off, and if you feel so moved about your desire to know and serve God that you are here on this forum expressing pain about it, then you are quite obviously not cut off. The Holy Spirit is still reaching out to you. Demons, satan, fallen angels, etc will use every trick they can to try to discourage you from being saved and having a relationship with Jesus, and what more severe trick is there than trying to convince you that it would be pointless, so that you don't even try. Break through the manipulation and see that the Holy Spirit is reaching out to you even now at this very moment.

2. Remember the higher spiritual meaning in this life of ours. Even if you are scared that you may have committed the unpardonable sin, remember that ultimately while it is wonderful that we can be saved, we seek to serve God because it is RIGHT, because we could be leading others towards salvation, because it is what God has planned for us. And then take heart with 1 John 4:

In this way, love has been perfected among us, so that we may have confidence on the day of judgment; for in this world we are just like Him. There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear,because fear involves punishment. The one who fears has not been perfected in love.


It is normal to be afraid! We are not perfect in our love as Jesus was and is. But again you can cut through the manipulations trying to come at you, and know that even now the Holy Spirit reaches out to you. Allow yourself to recognize it and embrace it, and overcome that fear that satan tries to use to hold you back.
Those are great verses from 1 John 4. And very relevant.

Yes, those who really do have seared consciences over sin are unlikely have troubled consciences!
 
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TurtleAnne

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Thank you TurtleAnne that is very encouraging and I hope it's true.

This was a major fear of mine, as well, that held me back for years. I understand how discouraging and terrifying it can feel. This is a big part of the importance of being baptized, in which you declare Jesus as your savior and dedicate your life to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit before other people, witnesses. This is the opposite of speaking out in denial or anger at God, it is turning the ship around and doing as Jesus commanded. The Holy Spirit is reaching out to you because there is hope for you still.
 
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tdidymas

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Thank you TurtleAnne that is very encouraging and I hope it's true.
Many years ago I used to worry about that. I always considered myself a worse sinner than Paul because I disobeyed God in knowledge, not in ignorance. However, I found out that the grace of God is God's power to deliver me. As long as I sought peace with God from the scriptures, I obtained small breakthroughs over time, and eventually came to the deliverance I know today. "Where sin abounded, grace much more abounded." Persevere in seeking God, and you will persevere in faith. "Who is he that overcomes the world? He who believes that Jesus is the Son of God." (1 Jn. 5)
TD:)
 
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rockytopva

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Here is a story of George Clark Rankin, who as a boy struggled greatly with the things of God, until, with the wise council of some good elder, found his way to salvation...

"Grandfather was kind to me and considerate of me, yet he was strict with me. I worked along with him in the field when the weather was agreeable and when it was inclement I helped him in his hatter's shop, for the Civil War was in progress and he had returned at odd times to hatmaking. It was my business in the shop to stretch foxskins and coonskins across a wood-horse and with a knife, made for that purpose, pluck the hair from the fur. I despise the odor of foxskins and coonskins to this good day. He had me to walk two miles every Sunday to Dandridge to Church service and Sunday-school, rain or shine, wet or dry, cold or hot; yet he had fat horses standing in his stable. But he was such a blue-stocking Presbyterian that he never allowed a bridle to go on a horse's head on Sunday. The beasts had to have a day of rest. Old Doctor Minnis was the pastor, and he was the dryest and most interminable preacher I ever heard in my life. He would stand motionless and read his sermons from manuscript for one hour and a half at a time and sometimes longer. Grandfather would sit and never take his eyes off of him, except to glance at me to keep me quiet. It was torture to me." - George Clark Rankin

Then he got it good in the Methodist church in Georgia...

...Quote...

After the team had been fed and we had been to supper we put the mules to the wagon, filled it with chairs and we were off to the meeting. When we reached the locality it was about dark and the people were assembling. Their horses and wagons filled up the cleared spaces and the singing was already in progress. My uncle and his family went well up toward the front, but I dropped into a seat well to the rear. It was an old-fashioned Church, ancient in appearance, oblong in shape and unpretentious. It was situated in a grove about one hundred yards from the road. It was lighted with old tallow-dip candles furnished by the neighbors. It was not a prepossessing-looking place, but it was soon crowded and evidently there was a great deal of interest. A cadaverous-looking man stood up in front with a tuning fork and raised and led the songs. There were a few prayers and the minister came in with his saddlebags and entered the pulpit. He was the Rev. W. H. Heath, the circuit rider. His prayer impressed me with his earnestness and there were many amens to it in the audience. I do not remember his text, but it was a typical revival sermon, full of unction and power.

At its close he invited penitents to the altar and a great many young people flocked to it and bowed for prayer. Many of them became very much affected and they cried out distressingly for mercy. It had a strange effect on me. It made me nervous and I wanted to retire. Directly my uncle came back to me, put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I did not want to be religious. I told him that I had always had that desire, that mother had brought me up that way, and really I did not know anything else. Then he wanted to know if I had ever professed religion. I hardly understood what he meant and did not answer him. He changed his question and asked me if I had ever been to the altar for prayer, and I answered him in the negative. Then he earnestly besought me to let him take me up to the altar and join the others in being prayed for. It really embarrassed me and I hardly knew what to say to him. He spoke to me of my mother and said that when she was a little girl she went to the altar and that Christ accepted her and she had been a good Christian all these years. That touched me in a tender spot, for mother always did do what was right; and then I was far away from her and wanted to see her. Oh, if she were there to tell me what to do!

By and by I yielded to his entreaty and he led forward to the altar. The minister took me by the hand and spoke tenderly to me as I knelt at the altar. I had gone more out of sympathy than conviction, and I did not know what to do after I bowed there. The others were praying aloud and now and then one would rise shoutingly happy and make the old building ring with his glad praise. It was a novel experience to me. I did not know what to pray for, neither did I know what to expect if I did pray. I spent the most of the hour wondering why I was there and what it all meant. No one explained anything to me. Once in awhile some good old brother or sister would pass my way, strike me on the back and tell me to look up and believe and the blessing would come. But that was not encouraging to me. In fact, it sounded like nonsense and the noise was distracting me. Even in my crude way of thinking I had an idea that religion was a sensible thing and that people ought to become religious intelligently and without all that hurrah. I presume that my ideas were the result of the Presbyterian training given to me by old grandfather. By and by my knees grew tired and the skin was nearly rubbed off my elbows. I thought the service never would close, and when it did conclude with the benediction I heaved a sigh of relief. That was my first experience at the mourner's bench.

As we drove home I did not have much to say, but I listened attentively to the conversation between my uncle and his wife. They were greatly impressed with the meeting, and they spoke first of this one and that one who had "come through" and what a change it would make in the community, as many of them were bad boys. As we were putting up the team my uncle spoke very encouragingly to me; he was delighted with the step I had taken and he pleaded with me not to turn back, but to press on until I found the pearl of great price. He knew my mother would be very happy over the start I had made. Before going to sleep I fell into a train of thought, though I was tired and exhausted. I wondered why I had gone to that altar and what I had gained by it. I felt no special conviction and had received no special impression, but then if my mother had started that way there must be something in it, for she always did what was right. I silently lifted my heart to God in prayer for conviction and guidance. I knew how to pray, for I had come up through prayer, but not the mourner's bench sort. So I determined to continue to attend the meeting and keep on going to the altar until I got religion.

Early the next morning I was up and in a serious frame of mind. I went with the other hands to the cottonfield and at noon I slipped off in the barn and prayed. But the more I thought of the way those young people were moved in the meeting and with what glad hearts they had shouted their praises to God the more it puzzled and confused me. I could not feel the conviction that they had and my heart did not feel melted and tender. I was callous and unmoved in feeling and my distress on account of sin was nothing like theirs. I did not understand my own state of mind and heart. It troubled me, for by this time I really wanted to have an experience like theirs.

When evening came I was ready for Church service and was glad to go. It required no urging. Another large crowd was present and the preacher was as earnest as ever. I did not give much heed to the sermon. In fact, I do not recall a word of it. I was anxious for him to conclude and give me a chance to go to the altar. I had gotten it into my head that there was some real virtue in the mourner's bench; and when the time came I was one of the first to prostrate myself before the altar in prayer. Many others did likewise. Two or three good people at intervals knelt by me and spoke encouragingly to me, but they did not help me. Their talks were mere exhortations to earnestness and faith, but there was no explanation of faith, neither was there any light thrown upon my mind and heart. I wrought myself up into tears and cries for help, but the whole situation was dark and I hardly knew why I cried, or what was the trouble with me. Now and then others would arise from the altar in an ecstasy of joy, but there was no joy for me. When the service closed I was discouraged and felt that maybe I was too hardhearted and the good Spirit could do nothing for me.

After we went home I tossed on the bed before going to sleep and wondered why God did not do for me what he had done for mother and what he was doing in that meeting for those young people at the altar. I could not understand it. But I resolved to keep on trying, and so dropped off to sleep. The next day I had about the same experience and at night saw no change in my condition. And so for several nights I repeated the same distressing experience. The meeting took on such interest that a day service was adopted along with the night exercises, and we attended that also. And one morning while I bowed at the altar in a very disturbed state of mind Brother Tyson, a good local preacher and the father of Rev. J. F. Tyson, now of the Central Conference, sat down by me and, putting his hand on my shoulder, said to me: "Now I want you to sit up awhile and let's talk this matter over quietly. I am sure that you are in earnest, for you have been coming to this altar night after night for several days. I want to ask you a few simple questions." And the following questions were asked and answered:

"My son, do you not love God?"

"I cannot remember when I did not love him."

"Do you believe on his Son, Jesus Christ?"

"I have always believed on Christ. My mother taught me that from my earliest recollection."

"Do you accept him as your Savior?"

"I certainly do, and have always done so."

"Can you think of any sin that is between you and the Savior?"

"No, sir; for I have never committed any bad sins."

"Do you love everybody?"

"Well, I love nearly everybody, but I have no ill-will toward any one. An old man did me a wrong not long ago and I acted ugly toward him, but I do not care to injure him."

"Can you forgive him?"

"Yes, if he wanted me to."

"But, down in your heart, can you wish him well?"

"Yes, sir; I can do that."

"Well, now let me say to you that if you love God, if you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior from sin and if you love your fellowmen and intend by God's help to lead a religious life, that's all there is to religion. In fact, that is all I know about it."

Then he repeated several passages of Scriptures to me proving his assertions. I thought a moment and said to him: "But I do not feel like these young people who have been getting religion night after night. I cannot get happy like them. I do not feel like shouting."

The good man looked at me and smiled and said: "Ah, that's your trouble. You have been trying to feel like them. Now you are not them; you are yourself. You have your own quiet disposition and you are not turned like them. They are excitable and blustery like they are. They give way to their feelings. That's all right, but feeling is not religion. Religion is faith and life. If you have violent feeling with it, all good and well, but if you have faith and not much feeling, why the feeling will take care of itself. To love God and accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, turning away from all sin, and living a godly life, is the substance of true religion."

That was new to me, yet it had been my state of mind from childhood. For I remembered that away back in my early life, when the old preacher held services in my grandmother's house one day and opened the door of the Church, I went forward and gave him my hand. He was to receive me into full membership at the end of six months' probation, but he let it pass out of his mind and failed to attend to it.

As I sat there that morning listening to the earnest exhortation of the good man my tears ceased, my distress left me, light broke in upon my mind, my heart grew joyous, and before I knew just what I was doing I was going all around shaking hands with everybody, and my confusion and darkness disappeared and a great burden rolled off my spirit. I felt exactly like I did when I was a little boy around my mother's knee when she told of Jesus and God and Heaven. It made my heart thrill then, and the same old experience returned to me in that old country Church that beautiful September morning down in old North Georgia.

As we returned home the sun shone brighter, the birds sang sweeter and the autumn-time looked richer than ever before. My heart was light and my spirit buoyant. I had anchored my soul in the haven of rest, and there was not a ripple upon the current of my joy. That night there was no service and after supper I walked out under the great old pine trees and held communion with God. I thought of mother, and home, and Heaven.

I at once gave my name to the preacher for membership in the Church, and the following Sunday morning, along with many others, he received me into full membership in the Methodist Episcopal Church, South. It was one of the most delightful days in my recollection. It was the third Sunday in September, 1866, and those Church vows became a living principle in my heart and life. During these forty-five long years, with their alternations of sunshine and shadow, daylight and darkness, success and failure, rejoicing and weeping, fears within and fightings without, I have never ceased to thank God for that autumnal day in the long ago when my name was registered in the Lamb's Book of Life.

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