Hello everyone. I'm an Atheist who have been recently going to church, perhaps in a desperate attempt to seek resolution and help for my terrible depression and anxiety. I had always have conflicts within myself and others, i didn't quite fit in. Even though it didn't seem logical, i was so depressed that i was willing to try anything to stop my misery. I'm 20, always the awkward guy, never had a girlfriend. I always fear offending people and getting killed, poisoned and harmed in numerous ways. It's very unsettling for me and therapies honestly didn't help me very much.
Why do would God be awesome?
Firstly, knowing that there's a God out there looking out for you and putting your life on his hands reassures you much more than you could think. For someone with severe paranoia and anxiety like me it really helps. You would think that your existence is part of a greater purpose and that your life is destined, worrying about it will not change things.
After going to Church for the past month, I'm honestly astonished by how much faith people have in their God. It's mind-blowing how they could believe with such devotion. The people there are really friendly, despite me being an depressed anxious guy, being the guy always hated in school, work etc. It was one of the first times i felt welcomed. The people there were very warm and welcoming to be despite me saying that me saying that I'm an atheist, and they told me they would look out and pray for me. I really like the community there, tried really hard for the past few weeks to accept Jesus but it was impossible for such a skeptical person like me to accept him. I mean, why would he put me, and others in this world to suffer in agony, only to find him and be saved then? Regardless, even though I didn't really talk much to people there, i still got invited to their gatherings and events. I felt accepted(somewhat?).
However, my anxiety is getting worse, i keep fearing for my life every time i had an argument with anyone, worrying that they would come after me and do harm towards me. It's terrible. I feel so suicidal...What should i do...??? Accepting that God don't exist has made my depression far worse. It's like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. How do you people stay happy...? I'm having an existential crisis being the worthless person I'm. I don't know how to continue living... Virgin, an idiot and 5'5. I really shouldn't exist at all. I need some advice on what to do... Sorry for the long post... Thanks for reading, happy holidays!
Why do would God be awesome?
Firstly, knowing that there's a God out there looking out for you and putting your life on his hands reassures you much more than you could think. For someone with severe paranoia and anxiety like me it really helps. You would think that your existence is part of a greater purpose and that your life is destined, worrying about it will not change things.
After going to Church for the past month, I'm honestly astonished by how much faith people have in their God. It's mind-blowing how they could believe with such devotion. The people there are really friendly, despite me being an depressed anxious guy, being the guy always hated in school, work etc. It was one of the first times i felt welcomed. The people there were very warm and welcoming to be despite me saying that me saying that I'm an atheist, and they told me they would look out and pray for me. I really like the community there, tried really hard for the past few weeks to accept Jesus but it was impossible for such a skeptical person like me to accept him. I mean, why would he put me, and others in this world to suffer in agony, only to find him and be saved then? Regardless, even though I didn't really talk much to people there, i still got invited to their gatherings and events. I felt accepted(somewhat?).
However, my anxiety is getting worse, i keep fearing for my life every time i had an argument with anyone, worrying that they would come after me and do harm towards me. It's terrible. I feel so suicidal...What should i do...??? Accepting that God don't exist has made my depression far worse. It's like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. How do you people stay happy...? I'm having an existential crisis being the worthless person I'm. I don't know how to continue living... Virgin, an idiot and 5'5. I really shouldn't exist at all. I need some advice on what to do... Sorry for the long post... Thanks for reading, happy holidays!