How do I forget about God...i dont think i want to be a christian anymore

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I can't deal with an entity that is so <staff edit> petty to hold everything over our heads...tell us we have free will when we don't really. No one asked to come here, I sure didn't...that's the biggest tampering of free will.. But mainly because God has crystal clear favorites, he talks to those he wants to he blesses those he wants to(whether they're saved or not)

I've prayed and got no answer, I've asked why what happened to me happened... I don't understand.., if you love someone enough to die for them...you mean to tell me you can't at the very least answer an important question ? You can't help them with a mental illness that's tormenting them?

When I was up through out the night...till 4am ..it made me think hard... God is not weak , he could solve every problem and intervene..but he chooses not to...even when people ask...

So I feel God only loves certain people..or sadly He just loves himself. I feel god <staff edit> allows many things to happen simply for his glory...whether you go to heaven or help,you suffer or are blessed.....

And I can't love a god <staff edit> that doesn't truly care about me <staff edit>..I've asked him to prove me wrong ,if he really cares..but again silence. The kicker is, if I were to die tonight...is probably go to hell for giving up or leaving God...but where was he when I asked for help..to keep believing ,take the anger away, be better. I asked for help..but because I'm done with the <staff edit> I go to hell,,even though I reached out.... Whatever.

I'm done being tormented I just want to be done with God and be mentally well again.

 

[Poppyseed78]

I'm so sorry you're struggling. I don't really have any answers, I just want to say I hear you, and I hope you are relieved of your burden soon. I've realized that life is simply hard, Christian or not; it's just hard. It's natural to sometimes feel discouraged in one's faith. I have prayed for answers to some questions, for years, without a clear answer, but I do believe that there is a reason for this, and that God will reveal the truth to me in time. When I'm really struggling, it gives me some comfort to know that He is forgiving and merciful.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I'm so sorry you're struggling. I don't really have any answers, I just want to say I hear you, and I hope you are relieved of your burden soon. I've realized that life is simply hard, Christian or not; it's just hard. It's natural to sometimes feel discouraged in one's faith. I have prayed for answers to some questions, for years, without a clear answer, but I do believe that there is a reason for this, and that God will reveal the truth to me in time. When I'm really struggling, it gives me some comfort to know that He is forgiving and merciful.

I'm glad you still have faith...don't know I can say the same for myself...I just want to turn th3 next chapter in my life

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

Remember the parable of the rich man and Lazarus?

You are Lazarus with all your disadvantages and suffering and everyone you believe God loves better are the rich man. Guess what happened? The rich man went to Hell and Lazarus was compensated for his suffering not in this life but the next. It was common Jewish belief that blessings in this life were a sign of God's approval. Jesus said otherwise and even said, "It's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go into Heaven."

One of these days, the people you envy will be envying you in the next life. I also struggle with believing this 100% of the time but sometimes we all need reminders every now and then. Don't feel bad about your struggling faith because many, including myself, have been there and done that.

Depression is a liar. Remember that.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I can't deal with an entity that is so anal and petty to hold everything over our heads...tell us we have free will when we don't really. No one asked to come here, I sure didn't...that's the biggest tampering of free will.. But mainly because God has crystal clear favorites, he talks to those he wants to he blesses those he wants to(whether they're saved or not)

I've prayed and got no answer, I've asked why what happened to me happened... I don't understand.., if you love someone enough to die for them...you mean to tell me you can't at the very least answer an important question ? You can't help them with a mental illness that's tormenting them?

When I was up through out the night...till 4am ..it made me think hard... God is not weak , he could solve every problem and intervene..but he chooses not to...even when people ask...

So I feel God only loves certain people..or sadly He just loves himself. I feel god is an egotistical jerk that allows many things to happen simply for his glory...whether you go to heaven or help,you suffer or are blessed.....

And I can't love a god that self centered ...that's doesn't truly care about me but cares about himself and his stupid glory...I've asked him to prove me wrong ,if he really cares..but again silence.

I'm done being tormented I just want to be done with God and be mentally well again.

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a very difficult time emotionally, FSOTM. I know that it is definitely difficult to wrestle dark emotions which leave you feeling like God may not care. But, there are always other things to consider within the apparent cognitive contrasts when we think we get caught in between it all...

ASIA - TWO SIDES OF THE MOON (1996)

LYRICS:

"2 Sides Of The Moon"

Laser, breathing on my window
Two strings, beating out of time
Koto, warning of the danger
Wake up, is your head still mine?

Now they give you reasons
To fight for love

That's enough
In a paper world
That's enough
Said the Chinese girl
That's enough
Another city falls
Just because we're two sides of the moon

Data, streaming through my window
Chrome stars, whispering their lies
Black sky, hides approaching stranger
Reach out, two should now be one

Disregard the reasons
And look above

That's enough
In a paper world
That's enough
Said the Siamese girl
That's enough
Another city falls
Just because we're two sides of the moon

 

[Poppyseed78]

Remember the parable of the rich man and Lazarus?

You are Lazarus with all your disadvantages and suffering and everyone you believe God loves better are the rich man. Guess what happened? The rich man went to Hell and Lazarus was compensated for his suffering not in this life but the next. It was common Jewish belief that blessings in this life were a sign of God's approval. Jesus said otherwise and even said, "It's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go into Heaven."

One of these days, the people you envy will be envying you in the next life. I also struggle with believing this 100% of the time but sometimes we all need reminders every now and then. Don't feel bad about your struggling faith because many, including myself, have been there and done that.

Depression is a liar. Remember that.

This is a very, very good point. The rewards people appear to have in their earthly life are temporary.

 

[Andrewofthetribe]

I can't deal with an entity that is so anal and petty to hold everything over our heads...tell us we have free will when we don't really. No one asked to come here, I sure didn't...that's the biggest tampering of free will.. But mainly because God has crystal clear favorites, he talks to those he wants to he blesses those he wants to(whether they're saved or not)

I've prayed and got no answer, I've asked why what happened to me happened... I don't understand.., if you love someone enough to die for them...you mean to tell me you can't at the very least answer an important question ? You can't help them with a mental illness that's tormenting them?

When I was up through out the night...till 4am ..it made me think hard... God is not weak , he could solve every problem and intervene..but he chooses not to...even when people ask...

So I feel God only loves certain people..or sadly He just loves himself. I feel god is an egotistical jerk that allows many things to happen simply for his glory...whether you go to heaven or help,you suffer or are blessed.....

And I can't love a god that self centered ...that's doesn't truly care about me but cares about himself and his stupid glory...I've asked him to prove me wrong ,if he really cares..but again silence.

I'm done being tormented I just want to be done with God and be mentally well again.

That's easy just let go of God, just go out alone and see what it feels like. If you don't like it then the door back in can be found through the hope given to us all through Christ.
I've been alone without God and only felt despair. It was cold and lonely and I don't like it. In my quest to follow Jesus I have found only hope but it is a hard path to follow and I stumble often, but I have a hope in my heart given to me by Jesus Christ and that keeps me going when things are dark. Best wishes in your journey my friend and I hope you find what your soul is searching for.

 

[brinny]

I can't deal with an entity that is so anal and petty to hold everything over our heads...tell us we have free will when we don't really. No one asked to come here, I sure didn't...that's the biggest tampering of free will.. But mainly because God has crystal clear favorites, he talks to those he wants to he blesses those he wants to(whether they're saved or not)

I've prayed and got no answer, I've asked why what happened to me happened... I don't understand.., if you love someone enough to die for them...you mean to tell me you can't at the very least answer an important question ? You can't help them with a mental illness that's tormenting them?

When I was up through out the night...till 4am ..it made me think hard... God is not weak , he could solve every problem and intervene..but he chooses not to...even when people ask...

So I feel God only loves certain people..or sadly He just loves himself. I feel god is an egotistical jerk that allows many things to happen simply for his glory...whether you go to heaven or help,you suffer or are blessed.....

And I can't love a god that self centered ...that's doesn't truly care about me but cares about himself and his stupid glory...I've asked him to prove me wrong ,if he really cares..but again silence. The kicker is, if I were to die tonight...is probably go to hell for giving up or leaving God...but where was he when I asked for help..to keep believing ,take the anger away, be better. I asked for help..but because I'm done with the bulls** I go to hell,,even though I reached out.... Whatever.

I'm done being tormented I just want to be done with God and be mentally well again.

Bless yer heart, praying for you precious (((hug)))

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

That's easy just let go of God, just go out alone and see what it feels like. If you don't like it then the door back in can be found through the hope given to us all through Christ.
I've been alone without God and only felt despair. It was cold and lonely and I don't like it. In my quest to follow Jesus I have found only hope but it is a hard path to follow and I stumble often, but I have a hope in my heart given to me by Jesus Christ and that keeps me going when things are dark. Best wishes in your journey my friend and I hope you find what your soul is searching for.

I'm glad God works for you..and I don't and never will knock anyone's faith..in glad you have it.. I myself am looking for a peace of mind. A peace I rarely experienced with god...god kinda triggers my anxiety in a way. Lastly, I want to believe in myself...believe in myself more than I believed in God... I want to know I'm worth it, I don't want to be dependent on some pastor on Sundays to tell me that or even God himself..bc that's where those strings of manipulation get pulled the moment you fall from grace and your self esteem plummets...I don't ever want to experience that again. I want to be strong. I want to be okay.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

I'm glad God works for you..and I don't and never will knock anyone's faith..in glad you have it.. I myself am looking for a peace of mind. A peace I rarely experienced with god...god kinda triggers my anxiety in a way.

Why is that? Do you fear judgement? Do you feel resentment that some supreme being didn't allow life to be fair?

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Remember the parable of the rich man and Lazarus?

You are Lazarus with all your disadvantages and suffering and everyone you believe God loves better are the rich man. Guess what happened? The rich man went to Hell and Lazarus was compensated for his suffering not in this life but the next. It was common Jewish belief that blessings in this life were a sign of God's approval. Jesus said otherwise and even said, "It's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go into Heaven."

One of these days, the people you envy will be envying you in the next life. I also struggle with believing this 100% of the time but sometimes we all need reminders every now and then. Don't feel bad about your struggling faith because many, including myself, have been there and done that.

Depression is a liar. Remember that.

I keep forgetting that...but there are Christians who get blessed in this life and the next. If you have God by your side it doesn't mean you have to struggle and muddle along through life.. God is supposed to be there...that's what he promises...not an easy life..but every christian should know he's there.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Why is that? Do you fear judgement? Do you feel resentment that some supreme being didn't allow life to be fair?

Because of what happened to me ..a bad church experience...did I tell you? I don't know if I did

 

[singpraise]

I'm so sorry you're suffering. You are angry with God. It's ok, He can take it. He is with you in your suffering, even when you want to run away from Him, even if/when you hate Him. He suffers along with you. My heart goes out to you. I hope and pray you will find comfort and mercy in your life very soon. Sometimes the answers to our prayers take so, so very long to come. And life does seem very unfair at times. I know.

But, my child, please don't think that God blesses those who do not suffer more than you are blessed, even though it doesn't feel like you're being blessed right now. Please don't believe that is a sign that He loves them more, it isn't. It's more a sign that He knows you're strong. He loves you more than you can imagine.

May His love and mercy and grace be upon you. You are chosen, because nobody else except you can live what you are living and suffer what you are suffering. And nobody knows the answer to your life except God. You are in pain and He does hear you. He will never abandon you. Go ahead and release your pain through tears. Let Him in your heart, when you are ready. You'll be ready again. It's ok. He will never, ever leave you.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

I keep forgetting that...but there are Christians who get blessed in this life and the next. If you have God by your side it doesn't mean you have to struggle and muddle along through life.. God is supposed to be there...that's what he promises...not an easy life..but every christian should know he's there.

And then there's this:

"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wifee or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first." ~Matthew 19:29-30

"But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." ~ Luke 12:48

What these privileged Christians get are not rewards but extra responsibility to advance the kingdom. If they're living in ten million dollar mansions, driving gold plated Lamborghini's, and flying to Tahiti in private jets, then they're showing that they are the corrupt ones, not God. Why blame the president when it's the politicians who are using tax money for their own indulgence?

Because of what happened to me ..a bad church experience...did I tell you? I don't know if I did

And I was once part of an online cult called Rapture Ready. I associated myself with them due to my love of Bible Prophecy and my desire to be part of a community, something I felt lacking in. I allowed them to manipulate and intimidate me and every time I disagreed with them, they would swarm in on me. I realized that they were bad 'Christians' and left to another Christian site. This one.

Just because one church was bad it doesn't mean that all of them are bad. I call myself the Wayfarer partly because I'm a social nomad. I stick around until I decide that the way people treat me is no longer worth being around. Usually the friends I have don't last long either. Sometimes we all need to leave behind the bad and travel to another location to find our happiness. I pray that you can find peace in a loving community that works to build you up instead of tearing you down out of their own self-righteousness.

 

[2PhiloVoid]

I can't deal with an entity that is so anal and petty to hold everything over our heads...tell us we have free will when we don't really. No one asked to come here, I sure didn't...that's the biggest tampering of free will.. But mainly because God has crystal clear favorites, he talks to those he wants to he blesses those he wants to(whether they're saved or not)

I agree that God is firm about His principles, but I'm not sure that it is "crystal clear" as to who His favorites actually are.

I've prayed and got no answer, I've asked why what happened to me happened... I don't understand.., if you love someone enough to die for them...you mean to tell me you can't at the very least answer an important question ? You can't help them with a mental illness that's tormenting them?

Yes, He often lets us go travel on the narrow road; and when we do travel that road, believe it or not, it does get credited to our account in Christ.

When I was up through out the night...till 4am ..it made me think hard... God is not weak , he could solve every problem and intervene..but he chooses not to...even when people ask...

Yes, He could. But He didn't for the apostles, or for most of the other early Christians. Some level of hardship is normative for the Christian life; and if there are Christians who seem to have a peachy-keen life, then it may turn out in the end that they were actually in for a rude awakening.

So I feel God only loves certain people..or sadly He just loves himself. I feel god is an egotistical jerk that allows many things to happen simply for his glory...whether you go to heaven or help,you suffer or are blessed.....

You almost sound like the Apostle Paul ...

And I can't love a god that self centered ...that's doesn't truly care about me but cares about himself and his stupid glory...I've asked him to prove me wrong ,if he really cares..but again silence. The kicker is, if I were to die tonight...is probably go to hell for giving up or leaving God...but where was he when I asked for help..to keep believing ,take the anger away, be better. I asked for help..but because I'm done with the bulls** I go to hell,,even though I reached out.... Whatever.

We all get the apparent silence. It isn't just you.

I'm done being tormented I just want to be done with God and be mentally well again.

I know...it's hard. Everyday can feel like stepping on nails, but despite how it feels, Jesus does love you and knows how you feel. And I imagine there are some people in your life who care and/or love you, too.

Peace,
2PhiloVoid

 

[CrystalDragon]

I can't deal with an entity that is so anal and petty to hold everything over our heads...tell us we have free will when we don't really. No one asked to come here, I sure didn't...that's the biggest tampering of free will.. But mainly because God has crystal clear favorites, he talks to those he wants to he blesses those he wants to(whether they're saved or not)

I've prayed and got no answer, I've asked why what happened to me happened... I don't understand.., if you love someone enough to die for them...you mean to tell me you can't at the very least answer an important question ? You can't help them with a mental illness that's tormenting them?

When I was up through out the night...till 4am ..it made me think hard... God is not weak , he could solve every problem and intervene..but he chooses not to...even when people ask...

So I feel God only loves certain people..or sadly He just loves himself. I feel god is an egotistical jerk that allows many things to happen simply for his glory...whether you go to heaven or help,you suffer or are blessed.....

And I can't love a god that self centered ...that's doesn't truly care about me but cares about himself and his stupid glory...I've asked him to prove me wrong ,if he really cares..but again silence. The kicker is, if I were to die tonight...is probably go to hell for giving up or leaving God...but where was he when I asked for help..to keep believing ,take the anger away, be better. I asked for help..but because I'm done with the bulls** I go to hell,,even though I reached out.... Whatever.

I'm done being tormented I just want to be done with God and be mentally well again.

As you've probably gathered from my posts previously and trying to help you out of the psychologically abusive anxiety that your thoughts on religion was.causing you, you know that I've been feeling similarly lately. People talk about how salvation is a "free gift" and is justified in not everyone being saved through "free will", but it's not free will if you're influenced to stay through coercion by intimidation and fear, and you can't have a relationship if the "relationship" is only one-way.

 

[Tree of Life]

You obviously have some complaints to bring before the Lord. This is a very biblical practice, so let's hear them. What do you think that you're entitled to from the hands of God that you're not receiving?

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

You obviously have some complaints to bring before the Lord. This is a very biblical practice, so let's hear them. What do you think that you're entitled to from the hands of God that you're not receiving?

His help...especially if I ask for it time and time again and if he says he will help. But I'm no different than anybody else suffering here...so what makes me special.

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

His help...especially if I ask for it time and time again and if he says he will help. But I'm no different than anybody else suffering here...so what makes me special.

Have you ever watched the movie 'Bruce Almighty'? The main character gets to be God for a short amount of time on the condition that he has to answer everyone's prayers. After Bruce finds the prayer part to be overwhelming, he decides to give an automatic 'yes' to all of them. It ended up causing riots because multitudes of people prayed to God to win the lottery, resulting in tons of winners each receiving like fourteen cents each.

Point is, God can see how things will turn out if every prayer on our whim is answered. It could end up hurting us in the end. I often get angry at Him for not making me a gifted and talented neurotypical like my sister. Well, if I did get what I want, how would I use it? I could have ended up having a major superiority complex and campaign for vile things like eugenics and social Darwinism for all I know. Perhaps God sees a way to help you that you have not thought possible. He has lead you to this forum which desperately wants to help you find peace and happiness.

Another thing too, you have made it this far with your problems. God has shown that he has helped you get this far with your faith. Look at Kim Kardashian, she has everything. Looks, fame, fortune, popularity, etc but as soon as she got mugged, she acted like she got PTSD. It shows she was indeed a weak person who was too used to getting whatever she wanted. You, on the other hand, have dealt with much bullspit in your life and you are a stronger person than her.

 

[CrystalDragon]

Have you ever watched the movie 'Bruce Almighty'? The main character gets to be God for a short amount of time on the condition that he has to answer everyone's prayers. After Bruce finds the prayer part to be overwhelming, he decides to give an automatic 'yes' to all of them. It ended up causing riots because multitudes of people prayed to God to win the lottery, resulting in tons of winners each receiving like fourteen cents each.

Point is, God can see how things will turn out if every prayer on our whim is answered. It could end up hurting us in the end. I often get angry at Him for not making me a gifted and talented neurotypical like my sister. Well, if I did get what I want, how would I use it? I could have ended up having a major superiority complex and campaign for vile things like eugenics and social Darwinism for all I know. Perhaps God sees a way to help you that you have not thought possible. He has lead you to this forum which desperately wants to help you find peace and happiness.

Another thing too, you have made it this far with your problems. God has shown that he has helped you get this far with your faith. Look at Kim Kardashian, she has everything. Looks, fame, fortune, popularity, etc but as soon as she got mugged, she acted like she got PTSD. It shows she was indeed a weak person who was too used to getting whatever she wanted. You, on the other hand, have dealt with much bullspit in your life and you are a stronger person than her.

True, the prayers could end up hurting us in the end, but what about people who pray to have their child or friend be healed and the friend is forever afflicted or they die? How would that "be the best outcome for us"?