Emotional closeness, Emotional Incest...

[Neogaia777]

I heard a pastor speaking of Son's having to come to their Mother's and saying that they have "Sinned Against them..."

I have asked the Lord to send my apologies to my Mother in Heaven, she was an excellent mom, even a saint, I believe, but asked him to apologize for me to her for this:

http://www.christianforums.com/thre...-inquiring-a-lie.7969157/page-2#post-70243930

I asked the Lord to explain to her my reasons for not getting as emotionally close to her and she perhaps desired from her only Son... I was very short with her a lot, sometimes mean even, I was short, blunt, blatant, and very direct a lot, and she being rather sensitive, I know was hurt by it... But, I asked the Lord to explain my reasons, that I think are important... I didn't feel comfortable with the fact, that she desired to be or get more emotionally close, and more strongly emotionally connected, and more emotionally intimate with me, than she was or could be with her own husband...

I felt this was very wrong, and I was the way I was with her because of that... I asked the Lord to please explain it and help her understand...

Let me put it this way, If some people think that certain Son's owe their Mother's an apology, or that they "sinned against them" because of this, and should have allowed it, and not resisted so much... Then let me reverse it and apply it to Father's being more emotionally close, and more emotionally, intimately connected, and closer to their own daughter's and their daughter's to them, their Father's, than they are, to, or can be with their own wives...? Do you think that is wrong...? I do...

My own daughter, I myself, as her Father, had to fight this with as well, especially when she was young... I regret withholding my tender affections sometimes, both with my own Mother and my own daughter, but I did feel it was "for the best"...

I've heard some rather sick theories in Psychology, and was in an episode of the show "Big Bang Theory" that sometimes with a couple, their seeking, by sleeping with and having sex with, their... One, like the Female is seeking the emotional intimate connection, that they either had, or didn't have with their own Father, especially with females... And, Son's sometimes, with their Mother's... Sick, gross, I know...

I have troubles with emotion, and being deeply, emotionally intimate or deeply emotionally connected with anyone... I don't even know, and have wondered if I want that from any human being at all now, now having it to my full satisfaction with God now... And, It is much, much better than with any human being...

Emotional closeness, Emotional incest, Emotional cheating...?

Adultery and cheating often starts with emotional connections with other people...

Comments...?

God Bless!

 

[rob_aston]

I have troubles with emotion, and being deeply, emotionally intimate or deeply emotionally connected with anyone... I don't even know, and have wondered if I want that from any human being at all now, now having it to my full satisfaction with God now

good to connect again
(the blue word here below is a link to my blog, where by the rules of this forum, i place prophetic words)

 

[Paradoxum]

What's your point, in summary? I skimmed through it.

I'm not sure why you need to hold back affection from your daughter. You're more closely related to her than you wife

 

[Neogaia777]

What's your point, in summary? I skimmed through it.

I'm not sure why you need to hold back affection from your daughter. You're more closely related to her than you wife

Well, maybe affection was the wrong word, cause I gave her lots of hugs, and kisses on the forehead or cheek, held her, read stories to her, helped her with life advice and situations, homework, tried to teach her what I knew, and had learned in life (some wisdom) ect...

But, when I was tempted to pour my heart out to her about myself or things between her and her mother, especially when asked, or my feelings about her (my daughter, or her mother) I held back... For example, there were times when I wanted to cry in front of her, or to her, pouring out my emotional feelings, but did not...

Times when I was tempted to talk about personal things between me and her mother to her, and I didn't... It would feel like betrayal of her mother and I felt would be very wrong, and I didn't... Even though she would she would see us disagree and fight and would ask me about it, when we were alone, and I held back a lot...

This is what my mother was trying to do with me (the latter) instead of her husband, and I felt it was wrong...

God Bless!

 

[Paradoxum]

Well, maybe affection was the wrong word, cause I gave her lots of hugs, and kisses on the forehead or cheek, held her, read stories to her, helped her with life advice and situations, homework, tried to teach her what I knew, and had learned in life (some wisdom) ect...

But, when I was tempted to pour my heart out to her about myself or things between her and her mother, especially when asked, or my feelings about her (my daughter, or her mother) I held back... For example, there were times when I wanted to cry in front of her, or to her, pouring out my emotional feelings, but did not...

Times when I was tempted to talk about personal things between me and her mother to her, and I didn't... It would feel like betrayal of her mother and I felt would be very wrong, and I didn't... Even though she would she would see us disagree and fight and would ask me about it, when we were alone, and I held back a lot...

This is what my mother was trying to do with me (the latter) instead of her husband, and I felt it was wrong...

God Bless!

Oh right, I totally get that, and think you're right. I wasn't sure if you meant holding back physical and emotional affection.

 

[Neogaia777]

Oh right, I totally get that, and think you're right. I wasn't sure if you meant holding back physical and emotional affection.

There were times, especially as she got older, that she (our daughter) would say to me in private, and would ask me, and confront me with the fact, that, well basically, the shorthand version is, of how or why (emotionally charged sometimes) how or why she (her Mother) was basically so very horrible and such a crappy person...?

And, while in my heart, I knew she was right and even agreed with her, I was not allowed to "show it"... Instead I had to find creative and ever more inventive ways to justify, or make excuses for the way her mother was, cause I just couldn't bring myself to betray my wife (even when i knew my wife, her mother was in the wrong)... In time, my daughter grew to hate and deeply resent both me and her mother and lose respect for both of us, due to this...

And, I think was the cause of her rebellion as a teenager, and a great deal of the mental and emotional problems (a lot of anger) that she has in life now... As a 20 year old now... Even though her mother and I are now separated, she still wants very little to do with either of us now, she has a lot, and I mean a lot of anger issues right now...

I wish she would talk to me, especially now that i'm no longer with her mother... (I would tell her about this if she did...)

God Bless!