- Feb 25, 2006
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Let me give you a little background information first.
Back when I was 13, my mom started giving me her little sex talk w/ me and when I was younger, I completely understood that it was necessary. She would give me her little sex talk every 2 yrs. I thought that by the time I hit my 20's she would just stop but, it continued.
I put up w/ it for many many years even though it frustrated me to no end and I just wanted her to stop. The 3rd to last time she brought it up was when I was 33 and she went through Everything again....
Before I left to go to Costa Rica on vacation just this past July, she wrote out a whole list and was going to have another talk w/ me but this time I really spoke up. I told her, That is ENOUGH. I have had it w/ all your sex talks. I am 34 yrs old and you still want to have these talks w/ me. I asked her, have i done anything to cause you to doubt or not trust me? She said no but that she doesn't want me to fall into the same traps/mistakes my sister did (yes, my sister lost her virginity at a very early age despite my parents teaching her the same things). I reminded her how old I was and told her to please just stop.
So... here's the part that has me even more frustrated.
Got back from Costa Rica --- my aunt and uncle came up from Florida, rented a lake house near our house. The one afternoon, I decided to go up and visit my aunt/uncle and swim in their lake. My uncle said to me, I don't want to do this, but I have to. He told me that my parents came to him the prior day and asked him if he could have a relationship/sex talk w/ me since I won't listen to them anymore and they find it extremely important that someone talks to me about this still.
My uncle told me, that he told them that he would but, when he was speaking to me, he said, you are old enough. Your parents should've stopped talking to you about this 15 years ago. That it's not up to my parents or him (my uncle) what I do w/ my life. That, I can do whatever I want to do w/ whomever I want to do it w/ and I don't need to live by their standards. He said, if you choose to wait til you get married to have sex, great --- if you choose not to wait for marriage to have sex, that's fine too. He said its up to me.
I told him how my mom had told me if i ever did have sex before marriage to tell her. My uncle gave me a look and was like really? he couldn't believe it. He said my mom/dad have no right to ask about my personal life like that and yes, IF i choose to tell them, fine, if not, then it's my choice. My mom had asked me not too long ago if i still believe in waiting for marriage for sex and I said yes but then I said i didn't know just bc of them.
My parents have done an Excellent job of chasing me away from them over the last 20 years where I've gotten to the point of not trusting them, not wanting to share Anything w/ them and not wanting to be around them at all bc they both have big mouths where they share everything w/ everyone and its extremely frustrating for me.
But, for this sex thing... What should i do? My uncle told me to tell my parents that we had a good talk about all that and that I completely understood what he was talking about (my uncle said nothing to me about what my parents wanted him to bc he didn't think it was right at my age to be doing that).
Just inwardly, I'm boiling, not just from this but from lots of other things as well.
Back when I was 13, my mom started giving me her little sex talk w/ me and when I was younger, I completely understood that it was necessary. She would give me her little sex talk every 2 yrs. I thought that by the time I hit my 20's she would just stop but, it continued.
I put up w/ it for many many years even though it frustrated me to no end and I just wanted her to stop. The 3rd to last time she brought it up was when I was 33 and she went through Everything again....
Before I left to go to Costa Rica on vacation just this past July, she wrote out a whole list and was going to have another talk w/ me but this time I really spoke up. I told her, That is ENOUGH. I have had it w/ all your sex talks. I am 34 yrs old and you still want to have these talks w/ me. I asked her, have i done anything to cause you to doubt or not trust me? She said no but that she doesn't want me to fall into the same traps/mistakes my sister did (yes, my sister lost her virginity at a very early age despite my parents teaching her the same things). I reminded her how old I was and told her to please just stop.
So... here's the part that has me even more frustrated.
Got back from Costa Rica --- my aunt and uncle came up from Florida, rented a lake house near our house. The one afternoon, I decided to go up and visit my aunt/uncle and swim in their lake. My uncle said to me, I don't want to do this, but I have to. He told me that my parents came to him the prior day and asked him if he could have a relationship/sex talk w/ me since I won't listen to them anymore and they find it extremely important that someone talks to me about this still.
My uncle told me, that he told them that he would but, when he was speaking to me, he said, you are old enough. Your parents should've stopped talking to you about this 15 years ago. That it's not up to my parents or him (my uncle) what I do w/ my life. That, I can do whatever I want to do w/ whomever I want to do it w/ and I don't need to live by their standards. He said, if you choose to wait til you get married to have sex, great --- if you choose not to wait for marriage to have sex, that's fine too. He said its up to me.
I told him how my mom had told me if i ever did have sex before marriage to tell her. My uncle gave me a look and was like really? he couldn't believe it. He said my mom/dad have no right to ask about my personal life like that and yes, IF i choose to tell them, fine, if not, then it's my choice. My mom had asked me not too long ago if i still believe in waiting for marriage for sex and I said yes but then I said i didn't know just bc of them.
My parents have done an Excellent job of chasing me away from them over the last 20 years where I've gotten to the point of not trusting them, not wanting to share Anything w/ them and not wanting to be around them at all bc they both have big mouths where they share everything w/ everyone and its extremely frustrating for me.
But, for this sex thing... What should i do? My uncle told me to tell my parents that we had a good talk about all that and that I completely understood what he was talking about (my uncle said nothing to me about what my parents wanted him to bc he didn't think it was right at my age to be doing that).
Just inwardly, I'm boiling, not just from this but from lots of other things as well.