Things are very bad right now ...am losing my faith and i dont even know why i am
My mental health has gotten so bad that i cant make discussions for my self
My husband getting sick of going around in circles with me wanting to Christianity and wanting to follow Buddhism the reason things have gotten so bad is that i wanted to do mindfulness and meditation ( I Have OCD its meant to help that but it just got out of control ) i no longer have a therapist as she said she done all she can for me with my OCD and she cant see me for any more appointments because of NHS funding only funds 6 block appointments at a time and i cant afford non NHS therapy
I thought i was seeing my psychiatrist this month on the 24th but am not until march 29th
i see someone from the care team at my church about this but am unsure what they can do for me
I feel so tired i keep crying and wanting to self injure a lot my husband has hidden all the knifes in the house so i cant get them to use
I feel so stupid for going around in these circles i dont want to loses Jesus and i dont want to lose my husband because of this
My husband isn't Christian but he said the church and my friends at church would wounder whats is going on with me and why i have pulled back from them
I am sitting here crying because of this am meant to be at a bible study tonight it started at 6pm and finishes at 10.30 pm what i told them that i needed time to think
What have i done ?
I keep going around in these circles all the time and i dont know why its gotten worse since my step dad died ( he killed himself ) i cant get it over it and it was nearly 5 years since
I was doing it before my step dad died but not as bad as this am changing my mind one half of the day and the other part of the day i change it back again
the demons are watching me there trying to catch me out makes me do bad things
i dont know what to do
My mental health has gotten so bad that i cant make discussions for my self
My husband getting sick of going around in circles with me wanting to Christianity and wanting to follow Buddhism the reason things have gotten so bad is that i wanted to do mindfulness and meditation ( I Have OCD its meant to help that but it just got out of control ) i no longer have a therapist as she said she done all she can for me with my OCD and she cant see me for any more appointments because of NHS funding only funds 6 block appointments at a time and i cant afford non NHS therapy
I thought i was seeing my psychiatrist this month on the 24th but am not until march 29th
i see someone from the care team at my church about this but am unsure what they can do for me
I feel so tired i keep crying and wanting to self injure a lot my husband has hidden all the knifes in the house so i cant get them to use
I feel so stupid for going around in these circles i dont want to loses Jesus and i dont want to lose my husband because of this
My husband isn't Christian but he said the church and my friends at church would wounder whats is going on with me and why i have pulled back from them
I am sitting here crying because of this am meant to be at a bible study tonight it started at 6pm and finishes at 10.30 pm what i told them that i needed time to think
What have i done ?
I keep going around in these circles all the time and i dont know why its gotten worse since my step dad died ( he killed himself ) i cant get it over it and it was nearly 5 years since
I was doing it before my step dad died but not as bad as this am changing my mind one half of the day and the other part of the day i change it back again
the demons are watching me there trying to catch me out makes me do bad things
i dont know what to do