Is it wrong to only want to marry a Virgin

[faroukfarouk]

ah...so in our own power...that makes more sense. We are suppose to do it in God's power and not through finding ways to eliminate the feelings, but rather finding ways to prevent ourselves from giving into those feelings, as in learning self control vs. learning to find outlets...thanks for the clarification.

The whole armor of God (Ephesians 6) is also relevant for personal relationships.

 

[razzelflabben]

http://www.xojane.com/sex/true-love-waits-pledge

This link isn't condoning sex before marriage, but is looking at the idea of forcing kids to make their virginity part of their identity, and how it can hurt them once they are married when they start to have sex with their spouse when that part of their identity is stripped from them.

We had these pledges pushed on us at my church and school (public school). I refused to pledge because of how creepy it seemed to me.

more issues with not dealing well with the feelings, rather than accepting the feelings as being part of a healthy life and learning self control as a result. I'm getting the picture of the things being talked about as emotional baggage from abstinence now, it's more emotional baggage from not dealing well with the issue, or being taught poorly about what sex is and how it should be viewed. Clarity is happening...thanks

 

[razzelflabben]

The whole armor of God (Ephesians 6) is also relevant for personal relationships.

amen

 

[faroukfarouk]

amen

I do love Ephesians, and it's not only sublime theorizing (it is this also) but it's very practical for the here and now and for people.

 

[Owen GB5]

A lot of Christians have had a similar experience to us. I was 29 and my bride was 25 when we married. We were both virgins because we believe the Bible teaches us that we can only be joined to one other. I don't think we brought emotion baggage and we certainly didn't notice any compatibility issues. It did make our marriage very intimate and passionate. It may just be that narrow rivers run very deep but the simply explanation is that Our Lord's way is the most fun. He made us and His rules tell us how we can find the greatest joy.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

I don't want to be with someone who didn't wait for me, but at the same time I've already developed feelings for her and I can't make myself stop seeing her if she wasn't.

Most all the world, and most assemblies, don't wait for God. Let alone to get married. (many do, glad to see the last post before this one, et al) ...

"Feelings" pave the wide road to hell.

The narrow road to life, requires waiting, and is rewarded beyond your wildest imaginations! (all shown clearly in God's Word, and in life).

 

[chihwahli]

Just read the thread starters post:
What is THE reason to marry? It must be love. If you place virginity as most important then I wonder about the amount or quality what you call love.

The bible and God are very clear about everything you do. Let it be love and nothing else. Because doing things because of Love is most, the most, the most important. Without love your reason to do anything is useless, worthless....

THE question is: do you love her and she you? If so marry and stick to it.

More important before you marry: Make sure you are willing to change for her and she change for you. Because not one person is perfect and to unite 2 persons together means removing the bits and pieces of your personality that just don't fit inside this relationship. You and her have to learn to fit like 2 lego blocks. But at the beginning it is not. This is called sacrifice...i think.

Edit: Just thought about something. What if future women find it very important to marry a man with a very long penis? I has to be , lets say, 15cm long. But yours is only 11 cm. How would you feel about this? I think you know the answer too. It would be ridiculous. So, it is also ridiculous to qualify a girl based on virginity. These rules are man made. In Gods eyes I think are worthless.....

 

[GoldenKingGaze]

Marriages beginning without cohabitation according to this site last better:
Sociological Reasons Not to Live Together

We ought not settle for the unholiness of premarital sex, even if we are in that boat. We need to be sanctified and be free from bondage, rather than complacent and living with sin and filth. We need to repent and continue towards admiring Jesus. And His blood sanctifies and cleans and restores honour and the history of the body.

I think on the matter of history of the body, I would abstain form oral sex with a wife whose history was befouled. Foul mean the decomposition of Friendships, loves, esteems, sanctity, honours and other things in the history of the soul... What we do in our bodies and souls is in our history. It is in the body forever. It can be covered in Jesus' blood.

We from scripture, "hate even the clothing stained by sin." And are "like a firebrand snatched from the fire." The book of Ruth includes a part about the kindness of abstaining from fornication. This very important because these two people Ruth and Boaz were Jesus' by Mary's ancestors. And the theme in all the Old Testament books was of the preciousness of the honour of being first love, as an analogy for worshipping God with no gods before Him.

Jesus heals sickness but His blood heals us from sin. Jesus' blood was poured out to clean our hearts from fornication and restore our honour and sanctity, separate soul ties. To warm hearts and fix damage to the human spirit. People who receive grace often prefer it to sin and drugs. We need that deeper grace that moves us to repent from the core. And Jesus' blood does not take things away from us.

It is not nice to think that someone else is becoming the first love of the young lady I'd like to marry, or otherwise.

If she says she does not regret it, or she loved him more, or he was better... these are hurdles to romance.

 

[chihwahli]

To OP:
Jesus calls us His future bride. We have to become stainless wearing His white robe. This can only be done by Jesus blood. By His blood we are holy and acceptable to His standards!

Not one person in this whole world can meet that standard.

While Jesus says any person is under the blood is acceptable to marry, you say it it not acceptable if she ain't virgin.

Personally I think the whole virgin thing is blown out and useless. Don't forget what Jesus said. He said if you ever lusted a women then you already committed adultery! So such person is spiritually no longer 'virgin'. If you are a young man and you have not been set apart by God to stay away from marriage like Paul. I think it is almost impossible that you never lusted.

Who are you fooling?????

Many things of wisdom are only usable on earth, because they are not from God. God says the truth will set you free. So is there is not truth you make it more difficult for either yourself or others. In this case you might have turned down many potential super awesome good lovely girls and you didn't even know!

Havenly wisdom: by the blood someone is holy. Jesus marries the most filthy murderers adulterers, lairs, etc how? By his blood He has cleansed us.

So, you follow Christ or follow your fleshy wisdom and bind yourself and other up in chains..... your choice.

 

[GoldenKingGaze]

Paul the apostle was allowed to marry a believing wife like Peter, who was married before Jesus made him a disciple. Paul decided not to marry and advised others of his time that it saves a lot of worry. Under Rome there was slavery and sex slavery and conscription to the regiment, and maybe no social welfare. There were known by mention to be kidnappers and temple prostitutes, and violent customs. No forgetting pederasty.

In Romans Paul states: "That which I hate, that I do, that which I love that I don't do."

 

[Owen GB5]

Everyone has a different experience but my wife and I both managed to wait until we met each other and it not easy. Well, it cerntainly wasn't easy for either of us!
But it was what we wanted, a 100% exclusive and intimate relationship, and we feel very strongly that it was worth it.

 

[aus22]

Marry a virgin is still possible. I was married at50 and as still a virgin as was my wife.

 

[Cis.jd]

If virginity is your top criterium and your sine qua non, you better ask her straight away.
I don´t understand you either, but since you say you can´t change the way you feel about it, there´s not much use in discussing this, is there?

I don't want to debate with you, but you think this is a type of question to ask? Especially towards a church girl? When do you pop this question?

"so.. hey.. i got a question.. are you a virgin?"...

 

[GoldenKingGaze]

I don't want to debate with you, but you think this is a type of question to ask? Especially towards a church girl? When do you pop this question?

"so.. hey.. i got a question.. are you a virgin?"...

Perhaps write it into your profile on www.fusion101.com or Pentecostal match or Christian Faces...

 

[GoldenKingGaze]

I don't want to debate with you, but you think this is a type of question to ask? Especially towards a church girl? When do you pop this question?

"so.. hey.. i got a question.. are you a virgin?"...

You can write the matter into a profile on www.fusion101.com or Christian Faces or Pentecostal Match.

 

[Dave-W]

ah...so in our own power...that makes more sense. We are suppose to do it in God's power and not through finding ways to eliminate the feelings, but rather finding ways to prevent ourselves from giving into those feelings, as in learning self control vs. learning to find outlets...thanks for the clarification.

But what 6 year old or 10 year old or even 12 year old is mature enough to do that?

 

[razzelflabben]

But what 6 year old or 10 year old or even 12 year old is mature enough to do that?

there are a few but very few.

 

[quatona]

I don't want to debate with you, but you think this is a type of question to ask? Especially towards a church girl? When do you pop this question?

"so.. hey.. i got a question.. are you a virgin?"...

Yes, of course this is a question to ask for someone to whom this is the most important thing.

 

[GoldenKingGaze]

To want to be and have a virgin is a Godly ideal. For The LORD wants to have a spotless bride. In the Song of Solomon his bride apologizes for being darkened in the sun. Boaz appreciates that Ruth waited for him...

With us becoming the bride of Christ, we rely on the power of His blood, fire, and resurrection power... and some of us really are preserved rather than healed.

We are commanded after to love our wives as Christ loved the church.

 

[RDKirk]

In the Song of Solomon his bride apologizes for being darkened in the sun.

No, she doesn't "apologize." She states it in defiance of the dainty court ladies-in-waiting in Jerusalem, the daughters of the wealthy who had never spent a day of honest labor.