Are these early signs of baby fever?

[bluegreysky]

I don't want to catch it ... at least not yet. lol

So lately I can be around kids and they're cute an all
but I don't have an overwhelming desire to hold them or
have any of my own.
In fact, no desire at all right now.

However... I done got a soft spot I think.
I watch crime documentaries and dateline NBC stuff
and all kinds of sad things happen to people
and they solve the crime and someone goes to prison.
I watch it because forensics is cool.
And it doesn't bother me like it does some people.
But then I hear a story about a baby that dies in a tragic way
and it kind of makes me sad.
Especially if it was because someone didn't want it.

I feel that way about puppies and cats getting hurt or abandoned too though so maybe not.

 

[Odetta]

Baby fever is when you gotta have one for yourself, feel elated when your period is late, disappointed when it comes (even if you know logically it's not really possible because you're on birth control), when you feel drawn to baby sections of stores, etc. You'll know it when it hits. It's pretty strong.

 

[mkgal1]

Right......what Odetta described is "baby fever".


I know what you mean about crime documentaries, though---I have the same reaction. It doesn't bother me so much when it's adults (for some odd reason)....but if it's due to cruelty or neglect for animals and children.....it just burdens me. Maybe it's b/c children and animals are dependent on adults to care for them and they are let down by those that "signed up" to BE responsible (and those people were the polar opposite of responsible). I don't know. My husband has even commented on the difference in my reactions.

 

[blackribbon]

You can't "catch" it....it catches you. What you are describing is called "having a heart". Baby fever isn't about wanting a baby because they only stay a baby for a short period of time. It is about want to have someone in your life that is more important that you are...and you will eventually set free.

 

[mkgal1]

It is about want to have someone in your life that is more important that you are...and you will eventually set free.

That sums it up very well (and I wish all parents realized that's what having a child is about).

 

[Inkachu]

BGS, no, that is not baby fever, not in the least lol.

 

[Thunder Peel]

That doesn't sound like baby fever to me. I think most people are saddened by child abuse and mistreatment, just like you don't have to be an animal lover to be upset by animal abuse. I don't like cats but I'm still sad when I see bad things happen to them. I've never been big on the idea of having kids but I'm staunchly pro-life and want all children to have loving, God-fearing homes.

 

[Inkachu]

I have "baby nostalgia" lol. When you realize your little munchkin(s) is growing up way too fast and you'll never have another one and there's nothing you can do about it. Suddenly all the pacifiers and baby clothes and stuff make you cry lol.

 

[bluegreysky]

Ok im not really comfortable holding peoples kids i get nervous I'm going to hurt them or they are going to freak out and i also don't know what to do. just sit there and stare at the baby? I'm not good with kids like some of the other girls my age.

Supposedly if I had one of my own I would "instinctively know what to do with it" but I just don't see it

 

[Inkachu]

Not all women are born with maternal instincts. I sure wasn't. I had never been around babies at all, and didn't want any. I was utterly horrified when I found out I was pregnant. But I like to say that God "grew" a mother's heart in me. The first time I heard that mysterious, amazing little heartbeat, something started to change inside me. I think that, since I was willing and committed to become the best mother I could, God met me halfway, and provided the instincts and intuition and insanely profound love that isn't found anywhere else in the universe but in a mother's heart. I didn't do that; God did.

 

[Ana the Ist]

I don't want to catch it ... at least not yet. lol

So lately I can be around kids and they're cute an all
but I don't have an overwhelming desire to hold them or
have any of my own.
In fact, no desire at all right now.

However... I done got a soft spot I think.
I watch crime documentaries and dateline NBC stuff
and all kinds of sad things happen to people
and they solve the crime and someone goes to prison.
I watch it because forensics is cool.
And it doesn't bother me like it does some people.
But then I hear a story about a baby that dies in a tragic way
and it kind of makes me sad.
Especially if it was because someone didn't want it.

I feel that way about puppies and cats getting hurt or abandoned too though so maybe not.

Occasionally, my wife will watch something on t.v. with some cute kid doing something thoughtful or especially considerate for their mommy or daddy and she inevitability says things like "Awww...that's so cute!" or "What an adorable little boy/girl!". This is usually followed up by fantasies about how beautiful/smart/great our kids would be if we had any.

This never lasts long though, as she'll come across a kid on t.v. spilling his juice on the carpet or a child in real life screaming their head off to which she'll remark "I'll never want one of those."

 

[Inkachu]

It definitely helps to have a laid back personality if you're thinking of having children. I would not recommend parenthood to high-strung or easily stressed out people lol.

 

[bluegreysky]

Sometimes I think being a mom wouldn't be so bad,
but then over the weekend my "." was only 2 days late
(it's fine now) and then I got kind of terrified-
mostly because my anniversary and vacation is in early June,
and if it was late because of you-know-what
then I think 2 months from now would be when I would
get really sick according to the mom's at church
but I was also pondering about motherhood in general
and I just realized I am really terrified
because 1) I have anxiety, allergies and hypochondria
and I don't know if I want to subject a baby to mine
and her own inheritance of it
and 2) my brother-in-law had an illigetimate baby with his girlfriend
in 2013 and now as of recently they are broken up,
which is good because she's not a nice person
and now he can meet a better one,
but the whole situation is crappy because he's raising the baby
on his own now because she had her at 21 and then decided recently
at almost 23 that "she needs to be wild and free and live it up"
and she's ditched them both to go and do just that.
And this is happening because she never wanted to be a mom
an then when she got pregnant she did want to
but more of in a "playing grown-up" way not a REAL way
and now she's tired of it so she's walking away.
Since I don't really want to be a mom, I'm afraid I'd feel like that too.
I'd suck it up for the pregnancy and the first year, then just hate everything after that.

 

[Inkachu]

BGS, give yourself some time. Don't play into the "ohemgee, I've gotta have a baby before 30 or I'll be so old" idiocy. Children should be wanted, not something you do because you feel pressured from anyone, including yourself

 

[bluegreysky]

But I'm nearly 28 and I don't have the makings to be a great mother or even a good one... I couldn't raise kids right let alone Godly...
I am an only child, didn't grow up around babies, didn't raise baby siblings, didn't work in a nursery at church and when I did babysit 2 kids when I was 17, (they were 7 and 8) I was horrible at it. I gave in to their pulling my hair and screaming and let them get away with murder (murder being sugary snacks, bad tv, spending all their allowance on claw machines, whatever I could to shut them up).
Now I am at a church where every woman my age or a little older has at least one baby, and sometimes they want me to hold them and I kid you not I hold the thing like it is a hot potato... I'm afraid of the diaper leaking or of the child realizing I'm not their mom and freaking out or that they will spontaneously combust.
UGH
I was saying jokingly to my husband the other day that I better not be preggo (my period was late by a couple days) because he'd always be having to run around behind me scolding me for stuff. "why did you strap the baby seat on the roof of the car?" "why did you wash baby in the dishwasher with the dishes?" "why are you feeding baby leftover casserole, he needs formula?" haha ok so I wouldn't be THAT bad I'm not totally dumb but I'm not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed when it comes to common sense sometimes because I get distracted real easy and forget to pay attention and I could just see my husband always having a nervous breakdown about letting me take care of the kid.

 

[Messy]

I feel that way about puppies and cats getting hurt or abandoned too though so maybe not.

lol
I remember when I was your age a friend got a baby so I came to visit and all she did was cry and the mother said: she's as heavy as a bag of potatoes. Right, I thought: I'll wait a while.
Then a few years later another friend got one and she was just so cute, her husband just put her in my lap.
I had the first one with 36 and those younger mothers just left their baby in another room during church or let them cry and complained they didn't have time for themselves, not me. Awesome.
oh sorry, I Always just look at new posts, this is the married section.

 

[bluegreysky]

I would be the one complaining. The young mothers I know are all OBSESSED with their kids and it's like a bunch of little girls with barbie dolls.
Let's all have a play date!
Who got the best accessories?
Who got more than one?
Who is going to get another one next?
Mine is the cutest!
Mine has the best hair!
Mine has the trendiest clothes!
I take special care of mine!
Let's make yours and mine have a sleepover! *squee!* <3 <3 <3
....

 

[Inkachu]

But I'm nearly 28 and I don't have the makings to be a great mother or even a good one... I couldn't raise kids right let alone Godly...
I am an only child, didn't grow up around babies, didn't raise baby siblings, didn't work in a nursery at church and when I did babysit 2 kids when I was 17, (they were 7 and 8) I was horrible at it. I gave in to their pulling my hair and screaming and let them get away with murder (murder being sugary snacks, bad tv, spending all their allowance on claw machines, whatever I could to shut them up).
Now I am at a church where every woman my age or a little older has at least one baby, and sometimes they want me to hold them and I kid you not I hold the thing like it is a hot potato... I'm afraid of the diaper leaking or of the child realizing I'm not their mom and freaking out or that they will spontaneously combust.
UGH
I was saying jokingly to my husband the other day that I better not be preggo (my period was late by a couple days) because he'd always be having to run around behind me scolding me for stuff. "why did you strap the baby seat on the roof of the car?" "why did you wash baby in the dishwasher with the dishes?" "why are you feeding baby leftover casserole, he needs formula?" haha ok so I wouldn't be THAT bad I'm not totally dumb but I'm not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed when it comes to common sense sometimes because I get distracted real easy and forget to pay attention and I could just see my husband always having a nervous breakdown about letting me take care of the kid.

So don't have kids!! There's more to life than having children

All I can say is this: if, for any reason, you accidentally got pregnant, God would still be in control and have a purpose. I am living proof that He can make a loving, doting mother out of someone who had zero knowledge or desire about babies. He's gracious and merciful like that

But for right now, just stop worrying about it! Enjoy being a young wife

 

[Inkachu]

I would be the one complaining. The young mothers I know are all OBSESSED with their kids and it's like a bunch of little girls with barbie dolls.
Let's all have a play date!
Who got the best accessories?
Who got more than one?
Who is going to get another one next?
Mine is the cutest!
Mine has the best hair!
Mine has the trendiest clothes!
I take special care of mine!
Let's make yours and mine have a sleepover! *squee!* <3 <3 <3
....

FWIW I was NOT like that and would not have wanted to be around mothers like that!!!

 

[Thunder Peel]

You could try catching pudding fever. It's tastier and much cheaper.