HELP! I finally had enough July 26, '14, and lost it on my husband when he flipped out on me spewing the usual narcissistic rage stuff, and made him leave! I simply had enough of 14 and a half YEARS OF TORTURE!
Now for the usual retaliatory stuff. The constant feeling of such evil I always felt around him was so weird, and so "not right".
Even though I am better off, I have not been alone for more than the fourteen yrs. I feel SO ALONE and so unbelievable lonely. He ruined it for me with literally every single person on this planet that I know, or even remotely might have met somewhere , even at some businesses in town! I feel truly alone, except for God. But now when I need Him most, it seems as if I can't find HIM! I feel kind of far from Him, kind of in a state of "limbo" emotionally and psychologically. I feel as if Im in shock,or somehow stunned.
Like Jesus, our Saviour, said on the cross….."Father, where are you"
(What was that all about?) But I feel the same way ! SO ALONE!
Please pray that God will do a MIRACLE in my soon to be ex's life, heart, mind and soul, and also IN MINE! Please pray that God will protect me from the evil retaliatory attacks.
Please pray that God will alleviate this unbelievable horrible feeling of desperate loneliness! As much as I feel utter unbelievable contempt for my "ex", (which is not hard to do) I actually MISS HIM! I miss him terribly. But I know this is misguided and not good for me. HE is not good for me, and NEVER WAS!
I know that I am missing a part of him that was an act in order to use me to stay here regardless of what I knew that he did. I don't know what to do. But I know that my getting him out was the right thing to do, and what I SHOULD have done from the very beginning. That was my biggest mistake
The only thing I can do to counter this feeling is to just literally go out walking into town, looking for someone to talk to. I signed back up for job placement and will be taking the divorce papers back to the college lady to see if I can get in. If I don't do these things, Im afraid Im literally going to lose it.
Please pray for me!
Now for the usual retaliatory stuff. The constant feeling of such evil I always felt around him was so weird, and so "not right".
Even though I am better off, I have not been alone for more than the fourteen yrs. I feel SO ALONE and so unbelievable lonely. He ruined it for me with literally every single person on this planet that I know, or even remotely might have met somewhere , even at some businesses in town! I feel truly alone, except for God. But now when I need Him most, it seems as if I can't find HIM! I feel kind of far from Him, kind of in a state of "limbo" emotionally and psychologically. I feel as if Im in shock,or somehow stunned.
Like Jesus, our Saviour, said on the cross….."Father, where are you"
(What was that all about?) But I feel the same way ! SO ALONE!
Please pray that God will do a MIRACLE in my soon to be ex's life, heart, mind and soul, and also IN MINE! Please pray that God will protect me from the evil retaliatory attacks.
Please pray that God will alleviate this unbelievable horrible feeling of desperate loneliness! As much as I feel utter unbelievable contempt for my "ex", (which is not hard to do) I actually MISS HIM! I miss him terribly. But I know this is misguided and not good for me. HE is not good for me, and NEVER WAS!
I know that I am missing a part of him that was an act in order to use me to stay here regardless of what I knew that he did. I don't know what to do. But I know that my getting him out was the right thing to do, and what I SHOULD have done from the very beginning. That was my biggest mistake
The only thing I can do to counter this feeling is to just literally go out walking into town, looking for someone to talk to. I signed back up for job placement and will be taking the divorce papers back to the college lady to see if I can get in. If I don't do these things, Im afraid Im literally going to lose it.
Please pray for me!
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