I'm writing to find an understanding for my girlfriend. She's has Aspergers and has issues receiving criticism and also forgiving people. I'm afraid to say what I'm feeling a lot of times because of her short fuse. She gets upset easily and puts herself down. I feel for her, but I'd like to know whether she is or isn't capable of managing these issues. She has had difficulty in the past with therapists and doesn't trust them. I don't want to fix her, but help her through her problems, if I can. I know what it's like when people don't understand my mental issues and try to fix me. I want to treat her with respect, but not be an enabler (Which I'm known to do a lot).
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Trying to understand
- Thread starter Aspireman
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- Jul 25, 2005
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At what level is she functioning on the spectrum...?
What you're describing about her isn't particularly the traits of autism. It is common for people on the spectrum to co-morbid conditions like depression, which might better account for the issues that you are seeing. Autism/Aspergers mostly creates difficulties in communication.
What you're describing about her isn't particularly the traits of autism. It is common for people on the spectrum to co-morbid conditions like depression, which might better account for the issues that you are seeing. Autism/Aspergers mostly creates difficulties in communication.
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dayhiker
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Well, I don't think anyone can give you an answer ...
I think the best thing to do is have a lot of short talks where you ask her what she is thinking and feeling about all those things. This is an effort to get to really know who she is inside. Since it often takes us time to find words for these things you might have to start and stop the conversations often till she does find words.
I think the best thing to do is have a lot of short talks where you ask her what she is thinking and feeling about all those things. This is an effort to get to really know who she is inside. Since it often takes us time to find words for these things you might have to start and stop the conversations often till she does find words.
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I highly recommend finding a couple good books on loving someone with Aspergers. You will find so many ways to relate to your girlfriend in a way that doesn't put her in defense mode. My father has Aspergers and my step-mom could not live without the guidance she's found in these books. There's a ton of them on Amazon. I would just scan them and read some reviews to see which might apply to your situation. What you have described sounds like my 10 yo son (with ASD) to a "T". Also, my father blows if anyone even hints at criticizing him.
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