Well, I'm finally getting baptized

JoyT86

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Hello everyone! This Sunday evening, I am finally getting baptized! I have been saved for many years, but I never did get a water baptism. When I was young, I was too shy and terrified to be in front of all those people. When I grew up into my late teens, I was "too cool" for church.

Now that I have joined a new church, I finally get to be BAPTIZED! I can't tell you how excited I am!

BUT...

Here is the reason why I am posting this in the advice section....

My husband doesn't even want to attend my baptism. My parents live 10 hours away, and it looks like I'm going to have to go alone. My husband was raised Catholic, and he says that he doesn't believe in getting baptized unless it's done as an infant? Um, what? He hasn't been to church in many years, but can't support me enough to go to my baptism?

It hurts me SO much, and he knows this. I think he might go, just out of guilt (not from me nagging him about it--because I haven't!!), but I really wanted him to be EXCITED for me! He has no interest in church at all, and I'm disappointed about that, but I will be DEVESTATED if he doesn't even attend my baptism. I know I shouldn't let that overshadow my happiness, but it's SO hard not to.

If anyone has any advice, I'd love to hear it... but most of all I desperately need prayers for my husband. Thank you.
 

ChristianLife08

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Hello everyone! This Sunday evening, I am finally getting baptized! I have been saved for many years, but I never did get a water baptism. When I was young, I was too shy and terrified to be in front of all those people. When I grew up into my late teens, I was "too cool" for church.

Now that I have joined a new church, I finally get to be BAPTIZED! I can't tell you how excited I am!

BUT...

Here is the reason why I am posting this in the advice section....

My husband doesn't even want to attend my baptism. My parents live 10 hours away, and it looks like I'm going to have to go alone. My husband was raised Catholic, and he says that he doesn't believe in getting baptized unless it's done as an infant? Um, what? He hasn't been to church in many years, but can't support me enough to go to my baptism?

It hurts me SO much, and he knows this. I think he might go, just out of guilt (not from me nagging him about it--because I haven't!!), but I really wanted him to be EXCITED for me! He has no interest in church at all, and I'm disappointed about that, but I will be DEVESTATED if he doesn't even attend my baptism. I know I shouldn't let that overshadow my happiness, but it's SO hard not to.

If anyone has any advice, I'd love to hear it... but most of all I desperately need prayers for my husband. Thank you.

First, thats awesome you are getting baptized. Congratulations!

As for advice. I'm sorry about your husbands attitude towards it all. Perhaps he just doesn't hatstand yet. Growing up catholic also, perhaps his faith isn't his yet, but calls himself catholic due to "being born catholic". Either case, I encourage you to read 1Cor. 7. It deals with husbands and wives and how to conduct ourselves. :)

Be blessed
 
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LaidBack78

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Hello everyone! This Sunday evening, I am finally getting baptized! I have been saved for many years, but I never did get a water baptism. When I was young, I was too shy and terrified to be in front of all those people. When I grew up into my late teens, I was "too cool" for church.

Now that I have joined a new church, I finally get to be BAPTIZED! I can't tell you how excited I am!

BUT...

Here is the reason why I am posting this in the advice section....

My husband doesn't even want to attend my baptism. My parents live 10 hours away, and it looks like I'm going to have to go alone. My husband was raised Catholic, and he says that he doesn't believe in getting baptized unless it's done as an infant? Um, what? He hasn't been to church in many years, but can't support me enough to go to my baptism?

It hurts me SO much, and he knows this. I think he might go, just out of guilt (not from me nagging him about it--because I haven't!!), but I really wanted him to be EXCITED for me! He has no interest in church at all, and I'm disappointed about that, but I will be DEVESTATED if he doesn't even attend my baptism. I know I shouldn't let that overshadow my happiness, but it's SO hard not to.

If anyone has any advice, I'd love to hear it... but most of all I desperately need prayers for my husband. Thank you.

Kind of in the same boat. I accepted Christ into my life late last year, and since then have been going to church. Looking to get baptized this weekend. My wife grew up as a muslim, and at this point in her life I don't think she knows what she believes. She went to church with me a few times, but it's been a couple months since she's gone with me. I told her it would be nice to have her at my baptism, she said something about it being a busy weekend for her and she thinks she will be too tired to go. My family also lives far away, so I will be going alone. Only advice I can give is to focus on God. It sucks that I have to do this alone, but my walk with God is more important to me than having someone I know at my baptism. All I can do is pray that God will guide my wife to him at some point, I'm not gonna try to force her into anything. She has to be the one to make that decision.
 
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BFine

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A song most fitting for you-- learn it and sing
it on your baptismal day.... and Congratulations!

I Have Decided To Follow Jesus

I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;

No turning back, no turning back.
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;
Though I may wonder, I still will follow;

No turning back, no turning back.

The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
The world behind me, the cross before me;
No turning back, no turning back.

Though none go with me, still I will follow;
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
Though none go with me, still I will follow;
No turning back, no turning back.

Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
Will you decide now to follow Jesus?
No turning back, no turning back.
 
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Albion

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JoyT86,

Congratulations! We're very happy for you!

As for your husband's attitude, I'm very sorry. Not only is he confused about the Catholic Church's teachings, but he's astoundingly impolite as well. So...I don't know what you might do about that except to go ahead with your own religious convictions and determine to not to let anything diminish that part of your life.
 
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manitouscott

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I Pray for you and your husband.

If it helps, I attended my baptism alone, not because of an unwilling spouse or family, but because of my own feeling that my baptism is my own personal outward show of my commitment to God, before God. I am sure that some will say that I was being selfish or wrong. It was a wonderful experience to be there JUST FOR GOD, that my baptism was for Him and Him alone, not just to be another camcorder moment for family.

It was enough for them to know I was baptized and that I have committed my life to becoming like Christ.

Please don't be devastated. Instead, let this be the acknowledgement of a personal relationship with Him. In the end, your walk is between you and God, not your family.

Praise God!!!!! Thank you for posting this. I just got to relive that wonderful day and the memories have refreshed me!!!!
 
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Inkachu

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Joy - as much as I know you want to share this special event with your husband, only he can decide to go or not. I wouldn't want him to go out of guilt or pressure, and be sitting there like a grumpy lump and dampening your joy. Try to focus on what this means between you and God, let this be an intimate moment between you and Him, and include the situation with your husband in that moment. Maybe say a prayer for him on that day, even if he isn't with you. I'd rather see you have a blessed and joyous baptism where you're focused totally on the Lord, than one with your husband beside you in a resentful mood and bringing you down.

Best wishes.
 
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theophilus40

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Joy and LaidBack, you are both doing the right thing in getting baptized and God will bless your obedience. It is unfortunate that your spouses don't share your joy. All you can do is pray that they will be saved; until that happens they can't understand how you feel about this.
 
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Albion

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I Pray for you and your husband.

If it helps, I attended my baptism alone, not because of an unwilling spouse or family, but because of my own feeling that my baptism is my own personal outward show of my commitment to God, before God. I am sure that some will say that I was being selfish or wrong. It was a wonderful experience to be there JUST FOR GOD, that my baptism was for Him and Him alone, not just to be another camcorder moment for family.

It was enough for them to know I was baptized and that I have committed my life to becoming like Christ.

Please don't be devastated. Instead, let this be the acknowledgement of a personal relationship with Him. In the end, your walk is between you and God, not your family.

Praise God!!!!! Thank you for posting this. I just got to relive that wonderful day and the memories have refreshed me!!!!

There is something to be said for looking at it this way, so perhaps Joy can take your thinking to heart and make the event even more meaningful for herself than she was expecting.
 
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Inkachu

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I agree to some extent. I am extremely modest and private, and being soaking wet with my clothes pasted to my body, in front of a crowd, would be MORTIFYING to me. My baptism was semi-private, there was a small group of us who wanted to be baptised outside of the regular church service, so the pastor came and met with us all in the church at a separate time. I know a lot of people say that baptism is a "public" declaration, but I'm not sure I agree. I don't think it should be purposefully hidden in shame or embarrassment, but neither do I think a big crowd is required to make it "legit". It's a moment between you and God; yes others can be present, but nowhere in Scripture (that I know of) does it say other people need to be there. I'm sure John the Baptist had stragglers coming to him at odd times at the river; I doubt he told them to wait and come back when a crowd had gathered.
 
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PaladinValer

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Here is the reason why I am posting this in the advice section....

My husband doesn't even want to attend my baptism. My parents live 10 hours away, and it looks like I'm going to have to go alone. My husband was raised Catholic, and he says that he doesn't believe in getting baptized unless it's done as an infant? Um, what? He hasn't been to church in many years, but can't support me enough to go to my baptism?

I see a few possibilities:

  1. Your husband, in any event, is wrong about what Vatican Catholic teaching states. There is absolutely no teaching in that church that says paedobaptism is required. None. It is the norm, but there have been tens of thousands of non-baby or toddler or young children baptisms done in that church. Ask him this: what do they do for adult non-Christian converts?
  2. Are you absolutely sure you were never baptized earlier in life? If you have, then either you've misunderstood his objection or there's an element of truth in his statement, because it is historically unorthodox to be "rebaptized" (no such thing in orthodox Christianity).
It hurts me SO much, and he knows this. I think he might go, just out of guilt (not from me nagging him about it--because I haven't!!), but I really wanted him to be EXCITED for me! He has no interest in church at all, and I'm disappointed about that, but I will be DEVESTATED if he doesn't even attend my baptism. I know I shouldn't let that overshadow my happiness, but it's SO hard not to.


  1. Whether he's been going to church or not has nothing to do with his argument. By bringing that up all the time, you're actually attacking his person and not his argument. It's called in logic (and in Latin) an ad hominem. Don't exacerbate the issue by attacking him; attack his argument instead.
  2. Ask him these questions, in this order:

  • What do you mean by "not believing in getting baptized unless it is done as an infant"?
  • If he means exactly that, then ask him "what about non-Christians converts; don't they have to be baptized to become members of that church?"
  • Regardless of either, point out what official Vatican Catholic teaching is to him and show him that he is wrong.
  • If he didn't truly mean what you thought he did, get clarification.
However, again; if you were baptized at all earlier, then regardless of whether he did mean or didn't mean that, the element of truth is, you will not be getting baptized soon; you'll just get wet according to historic orthodox Christian belief, which is what the Vatican Catholic Church still holds to. If you truly weren't baptized at all earlier, then his objections are wrong, and you do have a reason to be upset, and you should proceed by asking him the questions I have suggested, because your husband isn't being kind to you...

...although you should stop attacking his person here. You may not realize that you are doing it, but whether he goes or doesn't go to church has nothing to do with his argument. See here to learn more: The Logical Fallacies: Attacking the Person<br>(<i>argumentum ad hominem</i>)

In any event, as it sounds likely that this will be a true baptism, welcome to the Christian faith!
 
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theophilus40

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However, again; if you were baptized at all earlier, then regardless of whether he did mean or didn't mean that, the element of truth is, you will not be getting baptized soon; you'll just get wet according to historic orthodox Christian belief, which is what the Vatican Catholic Church still holds to.
According to the Bible, if she was baptized before but wasn't saved at the time then all that happened at her first baptism was that she just got wet; her present baptism will actually be her first one.
And it happened that while Apollos was at Corinth, Paul passed through the inland country and came to Ephesus. There he found some disciples. And he said to them, “Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?” And they said, “No, we have not even heard that there is a Holy Spirit.” And he said, “Into what then were you baptized?” They said, “Into John's baptism.” And Paul said, “John baptized with the baptism of repentance, telling the people to believe in the one who was to come after him, that is, Jesus.” On hearing this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus.
(Acts 19:1-5 ESV)

I was baptized before I was saved because I believed that water baptism was necessary for salvation; all that really happened at that baptism was that I got wet and my name was placed on the membership record of the church. Later I learned the true way of salvation by faith in Christ and I got baptized to publicly proclaim that I was now a follower of Christ. In God's sight that was my only baptism.
 
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Albion

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According to the Bible, if she was baptized before but wasn't saved at the time then all that happened at her first baptism was that she just got wet; her present baptism will actually be her first one.

It isn't necessary to turn her OP into an occasion for promoting a particular theology of baptism, and it's not a debate forum. She has never been baptised, so there is no issue there anyway.
 
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