Men, would like advice on controlling lust, for a particular situation

[L0NEW0LF]

Men wake up erect because it prevents bed wetting.

 

[dengirl]

I am a woman. I hope I am welcome in this thread. Of course I read the title but I do have a question for the mature men who would like to jump in and answer. I say mature men because I am not on this thread to stir anyone up. I just read it and the comments and I wanted to kinda throw my question out there. Ok so here it goes. A lot of the men have stated that it is requiring lusting to touch wrong or not is not my point right now. But I am very curious that is it really that hard not to walk by a woman and get a lustful thought, really? Actually that was not the question the question is if you are with your wife having sex making love are you needing having lustful thoughts still? I read some of you said the lustful thoughts are of your wife but really? Can a man honestly not make love to even his wife without having lustful thoughts? Yes I am married. Have been for 21 years. And yes I have asked him before and he says no this is not true. But here I read it on this thread and I wanted to clarify that most the men on here are staying they need lustful thoughts to make love to own wife? I guess I'm confused at to what a lot of you men are calling lustful thoughts?

 

[briareos]

Not all sexual thoughts are lustful thoughts... lust is a word that speaks of immoral sexual thoughts. Thoughts about your spouse aren't immoral so wouldn't be classified as lust. Sexual desire isn't lust in the way the bible speaks of it as being something you shouldn't do... sexually immoral desires are is the sort of lust the bible talks about.
Your spouse doesn't fall into that category.

You should have a heart filled with sexual desire when making love to your spouse, this isn't what the bible discourages us from. You can be away from your spouse and stimulate yourself and have thoughts of your spouse and that's not wrong.

The sort of lust that relates to this conversation are sexual desires and thoughts that you could not morally accomplish.

Yes men are perfectly capable of walking by a woman without lusting for her or without allowing sexual thoughts to fill their minds.

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

Maturbation and sexual thoughts go hand in hand. It would be impossible for me to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] without thinking about sexual situations or even stay erect. This is true for every man I know. You simply can't "do it" without your imagination helping you. Thank God for my wife!

Incorrect. It can be done by thinking of the Stars in the Cosmos and just relying on the physical stimulation that is going on to bring you to completion. Sure it requires some focus and practice .

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

I am a woman. I hope I am welcome in this thread. Of course I read the title but I do have a question for the mature men who would like to jump in and answer. I say mature men because I am not on this thread to stir anyone up. I just read it and the comments and I wanted to kinda throw my question out there. Ok so here it goes. A lot of the men have stated that it is requiring lusting to touch wrong or not is not my point right now. But I am very curious that is it really that hard not to walk by a woman and get a lustful thought, really? Actually that was not the question the question is if you are with your wife having sex making love are you needing having lustful thoughts still? I read some of you said the lustful thoughts are of your wife but really? Can a man honestly not make love to even his wife without having lustful thoughts? Yes I am married. Have been for 21 years. And yes I have asked him before and he says no this is not true. But here I read it on this thread and I wanted to clarify that most the men on here are staying they need lustful thoughts to make love to own wife? I guess I'm confused at to what a lot of you men are calling lustful thoughts?

Hi. Welcome. God WANTS marrieds to lust for one another and only for one another ; its the only time when lust is condoned and permitted by God . God wants two married people to find joy in the sexual experience and that ranges from initial lusting for ones spouse all the way to climax and beyond culminating in great emotional and physical closeness after both are satisfied. Sex is designed to cement two people closer together.

Where it becomes a challenge for ALL men, married or not,...is when a particular situation suddenly arrives where a man is directly looking what he percieves as a very physically attractive (subjective among men) female and often the age of the female is irrelevant ; at THAT moment he has two options : 1. Continue admiring her outward attractiveness and allowing his Mind to go further such as wondering what she looks like underneath her clothing / what it would be like making love to her / what it would be like with her performing a sex act on him ....or..... 2. admitting to himself that the woman is attractive then taking ACTION to prevent himself from moving to lust. This can be accomplished by immediately turning his head away from her, praying for her , walking away , and/or remembering He has been blessed with having an awesome wife ---- any action to difuse the situation is good.

Is it possible for a man to walk by a nice looking woman without lusting ? Yes, it sure is possible and occurs often. Are men weak in this area ? Yes we are because God made us with a very strong appeal toward the physical whether it be body to body or sight to body, plus , male sexuality is heightened thru the contant barrage of sexual images from our sexually illicit culture that makes big money off of it .

WHen are men more often to fall into the trap of lust : When theyve had a blowout with their wife/g-f , when they feel unappreciated by their wife/g-f , when they have gone a long time without sexual release , when a woman is dressed (over-) provactively , when a woman makes sexually suggestive talk, when a woman possibly a co-worker are in constant close contact with one another and they become TOO familiar with one another on an emotional level , and others. Billy Graham is quoted as saying :' I will not even share an elevator ride with just me and another woman ' --- that may seem a bit overboard but its what Billy needed to do in order to STAY emotionally pure to his wife and pure to God.

Just for the record, lust is EVERY MANS battle including your husband, your male Doctor, your male Gardener , your male teenage Son, or your male pet Bunny Rabbit .

I hope that gave you some insight.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I'll also add that its factual that not masturbating WILL cause damage. So if the facts are true like science shows they are, then it means God created us in such a way that we touch to help our bodies. Some would say "Well maybe sex is what helps our bodies!".

I'd agree but what if you don't marry until your 50? No masturbation? I doubt that. To say masturbation is wrong is to say Gods creation is wrong. True, it may be a grey area in the bible but theres nothing to suddent masturbation is wrong. Unless of course you lust while doing it.

Since its shown that 90% of christian men have an addition to inappropriate content, then most men assume lust if the only way to get happy, but those who studied the human body and sex realize you can get happy in other ways such as touch, stimulation...etc.

 

[hedrick]

Since its shown that 90% of christian men have an addition to inappropriate content, then most men assume lust if the only way to get happy, but those who studied the human body and sex realize you can get happy in other ways such as touch, stimulation...etc.

I'm not sure I believe that number, but I do find it curious that so many people assume masturbation requires lust. That's certainly not true.

 

[IisJustMe]

I agree that most cannot do it, but just because the majority can't do it doens't mean everyone can't. I mean how does one explain waking up "happy"? There is no sexual thought involved in that!

That has to do strictly with blood flow and the position you're lying in.

I will agree that lust helps keep you happy, so it does take more work to keep yourself happy. But if you can do it, you can still finish the whole process.

There is no way a man can stay "happy" without having a lustful thought. Death grips aside.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

I'm not sure I believe that number, but I do find it curious that so many people assume masturbation requires lust. That's certainly not true.

Yeah I am not sure I believe it either. But "supposely" it was done by some christian group. I never did see the details on who the actually asked, ages, where at...etc.

There is no way a man can stay "happy" without having a lustful thought. Death grips aside.

I can. Its all about stimulation. As I stated earlier if a woman uses a item, she can do the same without having any lustful thoughts. Same works with a man. But it does require more patience to get happy in the first place. In the end I don't really MB much anymore anyways. Because it takes some time to get there, I just don't bother.

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

I'll also add that its factual that not masturbating WILL cause damage. So if the facts are true like science shows they are, then it means God created us in such a way that we touch to help our bodies. Some would say "Well maybe sex is what helps our bodies!".

I'd agree but what if you don't marry until your 50? No masturbation? I doubt that. To say masturbation is wrong is to say Gods creation is wrong. True, it may be a grey area in the bible but theres nothing to suddent masturbation is wrong. Unless of course you lust while doing it.

Since its shown that 90% of christian men have an addition to inappropriate content, then most men assume lust if the only way to get happy, but those who studied the human body and sex realize you can get happy in other ways such as touch, stimulation...etc.

I find extremely hard to believe that '90 percent of ALL CHristian Men have an addiction to inappropriate content' even if we do live in an illicit sex saturated society....so, please post evidence of this along with source info. for my perusual. Thanks. David.

 

[BFine]

Here's what I found:

According to a ChristiaNet and Covenanteyes survey, 50 percent of Christian men are addicted to inappropriate contentography. And it’s not just a “guy-thing;” 20 percent of Christian women are addicted to inappropriate contentography, and 60 percent of Christian women admitted to significantly struggling with lust.

More than 70% of men from 18 to 34 visit a inappropriate contentographic site in a typical month (comScore Media Metrix).

*Frequent [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] can certainly cause or aggravate prostate problems. But masturbation, fantasy, and excessive sexual activity, even without [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], can induce a state of inflammation that causes prostate problems. Other causes include poor diet, drug and medication use, or any other activities that induce a state of inflammation in the body. [Dr. N. K. Lin)

(Do check info with your own medical doctor; or seek medical attention if you are having prostate issues.)

 

[seeingeyes]

Yeah I am not sure I believe it either. But "supposely" it was done by some christian group. I never did see the details on who the actually asked, ages, where at...etc.

90% of Christian men would be just about everybody but the ones doing the study.

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

Here's what I found:

According to a ChristiaNet and Covenanteyes survey, 50 percent of Christian men are addicted to inappropriate contentography. And it’s not just a “guy-thing;” 20 percent of Christian women are addicted to inappropriate contentography, and 60 percent of Christian women admitted to significantly struggling with lust.

More than 70% of men from 18 to 34 visit a inappropriate contentographic site in a typical month (comScore Media Metrix).

*Frequent [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] can certainly cause or aggravate prostate problems. But masturbation, fantasy, and excessive sexual activity, even without [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], can induce a state of inflammation that causes prostate problems. Other causes include poor diet, drug and medication use, or any other activities that induce a state of inflammation in the body. [Dr. N. K. Lin)

(Do check info with your own medical doctor; or seek medical attention if you are having prostate issues.)

This survey about Christians can be very misleading ; first, what was the standard to determine that One was a true Christian ? Was it based on the persons proclamation , the fact they attend a church, or was in accordance to the Bible (IE: Romans 10:8-14) whereby a true Born Again experience has taken place ? This will have a drastic impact on the survey results.

For true Born Again Christians , I suspect that these statistics are far from accurate . What do u think ?

 

[loveandfear]

Hello everyone, I just wanted to thank everyone for their advice. I read each post, and you guys have offered many great suggestions. I had tried a couple, and I had good results.

1) If I begin desiring and lusting for a female(s), it can be hard to get this woman out of my mind. So since she's already in my mind, I'll begin to pray for her.

2) Simply jogging in place (in private). Let me once again be graphic, but I think this may be good to be honest and give details, since other brothers may run into this dilemma. When you do this, be prepared to jog with a full erection. Don't be ashamed, know this is natural, and keep jogging.

3) I fell briefly into sleep last night, and had a dream. I can't remember the exact details, but it appeared to be a bible verse, or it was words, and I knew it was by Paul. Anyways, Paul was saying something like, keep praising and keep thanking God (there was more, but it something to this nature). The feeling I got, was to keep my mind on God, to keep honoring him and praising him. This following part is my own reasoning for this dream. By doing this (keeping my mind on God and praising and thanking him), this may drown out and eliminate not only lustful thoughts, but all other negative thoughts as well, while also simultaneously elevating your mood and spirit.

I'm still experimenting and battle-testing the suggestions, to find what works best for my situation. I want to thank everyone again, and please feel free to keep this updated with other advice and suggestions, not only for me, but for other brothers and sisters who may also find this to be a challenging issue in their lives.

Again, I appreciate and thank you all

 

[Stevelee44]

I was watching Creflo Dollar talk about this. He says which I believe that Fornication is the word for everything Sexual. Any Sexual activity any is Fornication. Phone sex, touching yourself, lesbianism, homosexualism, beast sex, every and anything is called Fornication.

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

I was watching Creflo Dollar talk about this. He says which I believe that Fornication is the word for everything Sexual. Any Sexual activity any is Fornication. Phone sex, touching yourself, lesbianism, homosexualism, beast sex, every and anything is called Fornication.

Im afraid Mr. $ is wrong >>>> fornication - definition of fornication by the Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia.

The other behaviors youve listed fall into the category of : Sexual Immorality , Sexual Hedonism, and Lasciviousness .

 

[Leonfrost]

Yeah fornication isn't a catch-all term. Do a bit of research.

On to what I intended to say: If anyone insists on celibacy, there are methods that can take that energy and make proper use of it. It involves using the mind to draw the excess energy out of the testes, up the spine to the head. There's a great deal of spirituality attached to this practice by Eastern religions, but it's more akin to science than spirituality.

Four breaths complete the cycle:

Inhale 1 - Imagine the energy leaving your testicles, passing through your tailbone and to the base of the spine.

Exhale 1 - Focus your attention at the ball-like bone at the base of your neck, drawing the energy up the spine.

Inhale 2 - Bring your mind over the crown of the head, past the forehead and down to the indentation between your nose and your upper lip.

Exhale 2 - Bring it all the way down to your navel.

If you feel pressure or heat sticking anywhere on your body, commonly in the head or the chest, simply massage and tap on that area and then brush it down the front of your body to your navel.

This practice not only diminishes sexual urges, it also tends to allow you to think more clearly. Plus, if you master this practice while celibate, once you have a wife, you can use this method to reset your stamina and maintain lovemaking almost indefinitely.

 

[mytel]

As someone said before, excess sperm is absorbed back into the body (from what ived read anyway), so there isnt this contininious buildup where we get this overflow that has to go somewhere. I also dont think there is a direct correlation between the amount of sperm and amount of lust. Lust is more a mental issue, not physical. Of course our flesh has strong urges, but that is often because we have trained the flesh to be used to that cycle. I have and still do struggle with it as much as anyone, but if u can discipline your mind and not let your thoughts drift into certain areas, it will go along way being able to persevere through temptations and train your flesh. If you break the cycle, it doesnt gradually get harder as in the more sperm buildup the harder to resist ,etc. actually quite the opposite, it becomes easier to resist. There are both arguments for an against this with respect to it being sin, but i would say go to God directly in prayer. Everyone is different and each have there own path, take the issue to God directly and allow Him to guide you.

 

[loveandfear]

Since there's some mixed views regarding masturbation, I want to share this. Is this true or not, I don't know, but I would feel bad if I don't at least mention this. I had just listened to an account of pastor Philip Mantofa, he stated the Lord shown him a vision of hell. While there he states, he saw a man being tormented, which was due to, or at least very much related to masturbation.

 

[briareos]

I was watching Creflo Dollar talk about this. He says which I believe that Fornication is the word for everything Sexual. Any Sexual activity any is Fornication. Phone sex, touching yourself, lesbianism, homosexualism, beast sex, every and anything is called Fornication.

Good post.