My question is pertaining to young adults age 18 to 25. I want to know as a parent how you would explain the fact that ( as I see it and have witnessed) there are so many young people who have problems today. I have known many parents who are Christian and have raised their kids with such values yet these kids end up at the age of 18 or 19 or 20 with major problems. The problems range from pregnancy out of marrige or unplanned to drug abuse to rebelious behavior . If raising a child with good morals and values which are Christain is better than raising them without such a strong religious upbringing , than why do so many of these kids end up becoming drug addicts and parents and act out in many other rebellious ways as soon as they are over 18. Many even under 18 and still at home also exibit these behaviors and rebel against thier faith and the values that these parents have tried to instill in them. So why is raising a child with this belief system better? Please show me the proof.
I can't give you statistical proof, but I can give you my experiences as a mom of many, 8 of which are now adults. Not all 8 will be mentioned here, just the "problem children".
#1 daughter - pregnant at 16, twins. Boys born prematurely, she and the FOB consider giving them up for adoption. They end up placing them in relative foster care (his parents) and go off and "do their thing" including drugs, alcohol and a variety of other things. Fast forward a couple of years. Daughter discovers she is pregnant again. They get clean and sober, get married. They regain custody of their boys. She goes to a community college for graphic arts. He is a teacher. She has a thriving free-lance business and they have 4 children. He started going back to church, she went (just to shut him up at first). They ended up rededicating their lives to Christ and dedicated the children. The children are now 14 (the twins), 10 and 9. The children are living in a Christian home.
#1 son - the prototypical "angry young man". Moved out at 18 because he needed "freedom". Drugs, booze, etc. He hit bottom and realized this was not the life he wanted to lead. Enlisted in the Army. Married a girl who treated him like dirt. Divorced her (no children). Got out of the Army. Called mom (me) to find him a church (he had not attended church in about 6 years at that point). Mom gives him suggestions, he finds a place for him. Rededicated himself, was baptized and is attending Liberty University through their online program.
Other children had their own struggles over the years, questioning faith, doing things that aren't exactly in line with the values we tried to instill in them. However, of the 8 adult children, 7 of them have either never rebelled or rebelled and repented. #8 (boy) is still out there working his stuff out. I am not blind to the idea that the 4 at home may rebel as they are 16, 14, 12, and 10. But, I have a feeling that their older siblings will step in if they do start going down the wrong road.
A Christian parent is not a "failure" if their children choose to rebel. Children are not clones of their parents, and sometimes their own free will leads them down roads they shouldn't go. BUT, as parents, you keep praying, keep talking, keep loving. With my oldest, all I could do is keep thinking of the parable of the prodigal son. The end of that is that the prodigal comes home. I prayed for that for years!
God doesn't promise us a struggle free life. He doesn't promise a pain-free life. He doesn't promise that our children won't rebel...heaven knows, he's had enough rebellious children of his own! He does promise that he answers prayer.
Having 12 children, I've pretty much seen it all by now and I still have 4 at home. I'm not worried about their futures, they were dedicated to the Lord before their births.
FTR: my children were all homeschooled. The one who had some learning disabilities was privately tutored by a special ed teacher.