Today, it is no longer morally right to let your daughter’s marry her rapist. The Bible seem to be OK with it.
De 22:28 In case a man finds a girl, a virgin who has not been engaged, and he actually seizes her and lies down with her, and they have been found out, 29 the man who lay down with her must also give the girl’s father fifty silver shekels, and she will become his wife due to the fact that he humiliated her. He will not be allowed to divorce her all his days.
Some argue that this is consensual sex, but when one read the passage it says "to seize her and lies down with her". This meaning is same as rape. Rape is not consensual. How should we understand this passage?
I'm posting these questions because these are some of the most challenging verses in the bible that atheist always object to. As time go by hopefully I understand the bible better.
Dear grace24.
This is great question and the verse you presented indeed is describing rape.
Also, please understand that the context of the times must also be taken into account.
These were tribes from about 3000 years ago.
So try to think with your tribal eyeglasses on.
1. It is a father who gives daughter away. (They still do this today in India and Pakistan).
2. Women who married at the time seldom married due to guy's good looks.
Does he own cattle? Field? Does he have a trade? Or, is he hardworking? (Usually the father of the bride considering these things).
At that time women were much wiser and practical. They wanted family of their own and independence from their parents.
The Community meant A LOT more than we coul imagine.
The good looks of a man meant very little.
There were also 2 very important distinctions that the Israelites had from their pagan neighbors.
1. The Law of God.
2. Specific moral laws (such as virginity as compared to promiscuity)
If any of the points is compromised, the Community would suffer.
Let's look at the surrounding verses.
DT 22:13 If a man takes a wife and, after lying with her, dislikes her 14 and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying, "I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her virginity," 15 then the girl's father and mother shall bring proof that she was a virgin to the town elders at the gate. 16 The girl's father will say to the elders, "I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her. 17 Now he has slandered her and said, `I did not find your daughter to be a virgin.' But here is the proof of my daughter's virginity." Then her parents shall display the cloth before the elders of the town, 18 and the elders shall take the man and punish him. 19 They shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the girl's father, because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives.
DT 22:20 If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl's virginity can be found, 21 she shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father's house. You must purge the evil from among you.
The message here is that the moral reputation is very important.
Why is it important?
Because that is what differentiated the Israelites from the pagans.
DT 22:22 If a man is found sleeping with another man's wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel.
Self-explanatory ...
DT 22:23 If a man happens to meet in a town a virgin pledged to be married and he sleeps with her, 24 you shall take both of them to the gate of that town and stone them to death--the girl because she was in a town and did not scream for help, and the man because he violated another man's wife. You must purge the evil from among you.
Self-explanatory ...
DT 22:25 But if out in the country a man happens to meet a girl pledged to be married and rapes her, only the man who has done this shall die. 26 Do nothing to the girl; she has committed no sin deserving death. This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders his neighbor, 27 for the man found the girl out in the country, and though the betrothed girl screamed, there was no one to rescue her.
Death penalty for rape. She was screaming, but there was no one to rescue her. Also, she was already someone's fiancee.
DT 22:28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.
No death penalty for rape.
What is going on?
In v.28 the rapist is the local man. He is a part of the Community.
He raped a virgin
and they are discovered.
This means that now
everyone recognizes him.
The reputation of the now ex-virgin is destroyed.
She has no place to go.
Being married and having family is the only way of life in a Community.
So, he must marry her.
Why not kill him?
Then who would marry her?
They killed the first guy because he raped someone's fiancee.
Her original fiancee can still marry her because the other guy is killed.
Would this rapist (now her husband) abuse her? Nope. The Community would have his neck.
Can he divorce her? Nope. (Divorce is almost like a scarlet letter for the woman. Who would support her?)
And what about her mental state?
We do not really understand the tribal mentality.
There are also examples in today's world when a guy (whom the girl knows for years) forced himself on her and then she expected him to marry her.
The local guy who rapes the local virgin, both of them know each other quiet well. They both were born in the same Community, from the same tribe.
YET, because of THIS specific LAW there were practically NO RAPES by the locals.
The rapes became common later on when the Community became weak and corrupt and refused to enforce the Law.
Does this help?
Thanks,
In Christ,
Ed