First of all, the pink-themed "I'm a JOYFUL wife who is SO wise!" site itself just makes me wanna barf. BUT I did read the whole thing, and will comment
Choose Joy
It’s true: A happy wife makes a happy life. Please don’t use moodiness as an attempt to manipulate your man, but in all things rejoice, because that’s the right thing to do. (1 Thessaonians 5:16; Philippians 4:4)
A A happy wife doesn't "make" anything. No person is responsible for another person's actions, thoughts, words, or attitudes. It's not MY job to "make" my husband happy. It's my job to love him. That being said, there are a LOT of emotionally manipulative women out there... avoid them, guys!
Honor His Wishes
Give weight to what your husband thinks is important. Make those things a priority that matter most to him, whether it’s having dinner ready when he gets home from work or keeping the house tidy or limiting computer time. Don’t make him ask twice. (Philippians 2:4)
Having dinner ready? Keeping the house "tidy"? Really, can we get anymore 1950's?? I agree that we should put each other first (not just ME putting HIM first, he puts me first as well, it's both ways), but good grief, find some contemporary examples! For what it's worth, my husband works from home, I work outside the home, AND he's the cook of the family. Do I expect dinner ready when I get home? *snort* No. He can make it whenever it's convenient for him. If I'm starving, I'll grab a snack.
Give Him Your Undivided Attention
Yes, I know that women are masters of multi-tasking, but when your husband is speaking to you, make a point to lay other tasks aside, look into his eyes, and listen to what he is saying with the goal of understanding and remembering his words.
Agreed.
Don’t Interrupt
Have you ever been around a person who won’t let you finish a sentence? That gets old fast. Even if you think you already know what your husband is going to say, allowing him to say it without cutting him off mid-sentence shows both respect and common courtesy.
Agreed.
Emphasize His Good Points
Sure, he has his faults (as do you), but dwelling on them will only make you (both) miserable. Choose instead to focus on those qualities in your husband that you most admire. (Philippians 4:8)
Agreed.
Pray for Him
Ruth Graham advises wives to “tell your mate the positive, and tell God the negative.” Take your concerns to God. Faithfully lift up your husband in prayer every day, and you will likely notice a transformation not only in him, but in yourself, as well. (Philipians 4:6-7; 1 Thessalonians 5:17)
No, don't "hide" the negative from your husband (or anyone else you're close to). A true friend/mate/companion has the nads to share the truth, even when it's ugly, and to do it with love and compassion. Sucking up every hurt and disappointment that your husband causes and NEVER addressing it with HIM... is just ridiculous. Not to mention horrible for YOUR mental and emotional health.
Don’t Nag
Your husband is a grown man, so don’t treat him like a two-year-old. Leave room for God to work. You are not the Holy Spirit, so do not try to do His job.
AGREE AGREE AGREE. Nothing makes me cringe more than a naggy, overbearing wife.
Be Thankful
Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Don’t take your husband for granted. Be appreciative for everything he does for you, whether big or small. Always say thank you. (1 Thessalonians 5:18; Ephesians 5:20)
Absolutely.
Smile at Him
Smiles spread happiness. Smiles have even been shown to create happiness. Smiles are contagious. And a smile makes any woman more beautiful.
Pasting on a fake smile is no better than lying and saying "everything's fine" when it's not. Expressions of love should always be genuine, be it a hug, kiss, or smile.
Respond Physically
Did you know that the way you respond (or don’t respond) to your husband’s romantic overtures has a profound effect on his self-confidence? Don’t slap him away when he tries to hug you or make excuses when he’s in the mood. Your enthusiastic cooperation and reciprocation will not only assure him of your love, but will make him feel well-respected, too. (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)
"Enthusiastic cooperation"?? WHAT? This makes it sound like I'm being assaulted and need to just go with it to avoid having my throat slit. This goes back to the whole "fake it to please him/her" thing. NO, DON'T DO THAT. It's LYING. Be genuine, all the time, including genuinely tired or uninterested. The truth is always better than a pretty lie. I agree that it's a good thing to accept romantic overtures, even if you aren't rabid with lust, unless you really, strongly DON'T feel like it (tired, sick, in pain, etc). Doesn't mean you fake orgasmic enthusiasm, though.
Eyes Only for Him
Don’t compare your husband unfavorably to other men, real or imaginary. It is neither fair nor respectful and will only breed trouble and discontent. Avoid watching movies or reading books that might cause you to stumble in this area, as well. (Psalm 19:14; Proverbs 4:23)
Agreed. Men's egos are uber-fragile, no matter how cocky or macho they appear to be.
Kiss Him Goodbye
I once read about a study done in Germany which found that men whose wives kissed them goodbye every morning were more successful than those who weren’t kissed. Success and respect often go hand-in-hand, so be sure to send him off right, and don’t forget to greet him with a kiss when he returns home, for good measure. (2 Corinthians 13:12)
Kiss EACH OTHER goodbye. Let him know that you expect that kiss just as consistently. Once again, it's not YOUR job to hold the house/family/marriage together on your own, for crying out loud.
Prepare His Favorite Foods
Although the rest of the family is not overly-fond of spaghetti, my husband loves it, so I try to make it at least two or three times a month as a way to honor him. Next time you’re planning meals, give special consideration to your husband’s preferences. (Proverbs 31:14-15)
OK, this is a joke for me, because I don't cook. Don is the chef, and he's a flippin' amazing one. And I don't make him cook what I want or like; if he offers, that's wonderful, and I thank him profusely. But he'll tell you I'm not picky, I'll usually say "whatever you want, whatever you feel like, fine with me". He's doing something kind for me, so to have any sort of demand or expectation (to me) seems downright arrogant. I don't think we "honor" each other with meals. It's food, people. Just food. You'll be pooping it out in a few hours. Find something more substantial to put so much stake in.
Cherish Togetherness
I love to sit near my husband, whether at home or away. Our church shares potluck dinners every Sunday afternoon, and although the men and women normally sit separately to visit, I like to position myself close enough to my husband that I can listen to the conversation, as I think everything he says is so interesting. At home, I’ll take my book or handwork to whatever room in the house he’s working in, just to be close to him, because I enjoy his company, even when neither of us is talking.
"I think everything he says is SO interesting!" Oh gag me, woman. What a load of tosh. Some couples thrive on being physically near each other (Don and I included), but I'm not going to fawn over him like a stalkish schoolgirl. Or pretend that every word out of his mouth just sends chills up and down my spine (lol). Apparently, the writer of this article wants us to believe that when her husband is asking for a cup of coffee, she's there with her eyes all big and sparkly, going "OH HONEY... say it AGAIN!"
Don’t Complain
Nobody wants to be around a whiner or complainer. It is grating on the nerves. Remember the serenity prayer: accept the things you can’t change, courageously change the things you can, seek wisdom to know the difference. (Philippians 2:14)
Agree!
Resist the Urge to Correct
I know one wife whose spouse can’t tell a story without her stopping him fifteen times to correct inconsequential details: “It wasn’t Monday evening, it was Monday afternoon…. It wasn’t blue, it was turquoise…. He didn’t ride the bus, he took a shuttle.” Please. Please. Please. Don’t ever do that to your husband — or to anyone else, for that matter! (Proverbs 17:28)
The heading "resist the urge to correct" needs to be followed by "inconsequential details" because those are the examples she uses. I agree with that; don't correct him like an elementary school teacher. However, the blanket statement "don't correct your husband" is hazardous. If he's doing something wrong, SPEAK UP. That's your job as not only his wife, but his friend, AND you have every right to be heard if he's offended you.
Dress to Please Him
Take care of your appearance. Choose clothes your husband finds flattering, both in public and around the house.
Back to the 1950's. Be everything. Mother, cook, maid, temptress, carpooler, nurse, teacher. Sca-rew that. I dress to be comfortable, always have, always will. I make sure I'm clean and presentable, and COMFORTABLE. I don't exist to please his eyeballs. I exist to please God. My husband happens to find me ravishingly sexy first thing in the morning, so I think I'm OK on this one
Keep the House Tidy
To the best of your abilities, try to maintain a clean and orderly home. Seek to make it a haven of rest for your entire family. (Proverbs 31:27)
They all live in it, they all need to contribute to keeping it clean. Hear, hear. All three of us do household chores. This isn't Don's house, it's OUR house.
Be Content
Do not pressure your husband to keep up with the Jonses. Take satisfaction in the lifestyle he is able to provide for you. (1 Timothy 6:6-10; Hebrews 13:5)
Agreed.
Take His Advice
Do not dismiss his opinions lightly, especially when you’ve asked for his counsel in the first place. Make every effort to follow your husband’s advice.
"Make every effort to follow your husband's advice" ... if it's the RIGHT advice! Hello? If he's wrong, don't follow it like a mindless lemming. You can gently and respectfully disagree with him. The world won't end, I promise. And if he's RIGHT, then sure, he'll glow like the 4th of July if he sees that he was able to help you with something, that's what our men live for
Admire Him
Voiced compliments and heartfelt praise are always welcome, but you should also make it your habit to just look at your husband in a respectful, appreciative way. Think kind thoughts toward him. He’ll be able to see the admiration in your eyes. (Luke 6:45)
Agreed.
Protect His Name
Honor your husband in the way you speak of him to family and friends. Guard his reputation and do not let minor disagreements at home cause you to speak ill of him in public. Live in such a way that it will be obvious to others why your husband married you in the first place. (Proverbs 12:4; 22:1)
Agreed.
Forgive His Shortcomings
In the words of Ruth Bell Graham, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” Please do not hold grudges against your husband. Do not allow a root of bitterness or resentment find a home in your heart. Forgive your husband freely, as Christ has forgiven you. (Mark 11:25; Matthew 18:21-35)
Agreed, and this goes vice versa, too. This goes for ANY relationship.
Don’t Argue
You are not always right, and you do not always have to have the last word. Be the first to say, “I’m sorry.” Be willing to accept the blame. It takes two to argue, so “abandon a quarrel before it breaks out.” (Proverbs 17:14; 21:19; 25:24)
I'm not going to be the first to say "I'm sorry" if I didn't do anything wrong. I'll be the first to say "let's talk about it", sure. But I'm not accepting blame unless I did something wrong. Being a wife doesn't mean I'm his moral punching bag or perpetual scapegoat.
Follow His Lead
If you want your husband to lead, you must be willing to follow. Neither a body nor a family can function well with two heads. Learn to defer to your husband’s wishes and let final decisions rest with him. (Ephesians 5:22-24)
I disagree that two people can't lead together. Don is the head of the family - yes. But he can't lead the family without me, and I couldn't lead it without him. He leads first, I'm second. He needs advice, counsel, suggestions, corrections, encouragements... if he's leading ALL BY HIMSELF, where would he get those things from? Mmhmm.
This whole "fake everything for the sake of your husband" mentality needs to die. Seriously. It needs to die a very slow, painful, and eternal death. Ladies, you answer to one entity, and that's God, NOT your husband. Love him with everything you've got, but BE YOURSELF and DO NOT LOSE YOUR IDENTITY to society's expectations! You're the only YOU in the world... cherish your identity. Never let yourself become "so and so's wife" as if you had no name. Be YOU.