Do you think the concepts of dating and girlfriend/boyfriend -- as opposed to girl friend / boy friend -- are inappropriate for single Christians?
I do. The way I see it, those are romantic things and romance is part of sex so therefore it also belongs in marriage. For example, you don't typically see a couple of Christian guys holding hands and having a romantic stroll on the beach; we consider that homosexual. Yet if a single guy and girl do that, we tolerate it as heterosexual... but it's still sexual when it shouldn't be that way yet, right?
You either have just a friend -- and a good friend is no small thing -- with no romantic connotations, or you propose to that friend and then have a marriage with things appropriate for marriage, such as holding hands, kiss and cuddle, and so on.
Do you think I'm being too strict?
I know some folks will be like, "Man, what planet are you on?" But I find it frustrating that most Christians seem to be pretty worldly in their approach to relationships. If society is godless and lost, why should we be following their customs when they by and large are fornicating? Shouldn't we know better? I guess because deep down we want to normal and fit in to our society. I could be overreacting, but I don't think so because statistical research shows that fornication among Christians is the norm rather than the exception. I think our lack of integrity is something we ought to be ashamed of, and I think part of the problem is that we're not approaching relationships adequately to start with. Everyone knows the party line -- "No sex before marriage!" -- but we just interpret that as no coitus before marriage, and apparently we do it anyway. I think that's because we play with fire and get burned; we allow too much before marriage, we don't have this idea that all intimacy / romance belongs in marriage.
I wonder how much intimacy the early church or the old testament times considered acceptable before marriage?
I do. The way I see it, those are romantic things and romance is part of sex so therefore it also belongs in marriage. For example, you don't typically see a couple of Christian guys holding hands and having a romantic stroll on the beach; we consider that homosexual. Yet if a single guy and girl do that, we tolerate it as heterosexual... but it's still sexual when it shouldn't be that way yet, right?
You either have just a friend -- and a good friend is no small thing -- with no romantic connotations, or you propose to that friend and then have a marriage with things appropriate for marriage, such as holding hands, kiss and cuddle, and so on.
Do you think I'm being too strict?
I know some folks will be like, "Man, what planet are you on?" But I find it frustrating that most Christians seem to be pretty worldly in their approach to relationships. If society is godless and lost, why should we be following their customs when they by and large are fornicating? Shouldn't we know better? I guess because deep down we want to normal and fit in to our society. I could be overreacting, but I don't think so because statistical research shows that fornication among Christians is the norm rather than the exception. I think our lack of integrity is something we ought to be ashamed of, and I think part of the problem is that we're not approaching relationships adequately to start with. Everyone knows the party line -- "No sex before marriage!" -- but we just interpret that as no coitus before marriage, and apparently we do it anyway. I think that's because we play with fire and get burned; we allow too much before marriage, we don't have this idea that all intimacy / romance belongs in marriage.
I wonder how much intimacy the early church or the old testament times considered acceptable before marriage?
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