What I'm asking about is what sets them apart in your mind.....what is the distinction between "true romantic fiction" and "erotic fiction"? The physical details given? How descriptive they are or what?Allow me to clarify. There is indeed a difference between true romantic fiction, and erotic fiction. However, it is my opinion that a large amount of what is called romantic fiction today is in fact little different than erotic fiction. Not all, the Love series by Oakes would be one of the exceptions, but a large portion.
But as I've said before, in the same what they erotic fiction and inappropriate content can cause problems in creating a fantasy version of what sex looks like, stories like Love Comes Softly and the like can cause problems by creating a fantasy version of what love looks like. And to sort of tie this back to the OP, in both cases it's a sin to expect real life to look like the fantasy version.
By "fantasy version of what love looks like" do you mean something other than what is being experienced or what?
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