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Sexual Compatibility
- Thread starter redblue22
- Start date
I don't put too much into the whole thing of sexual compatibility. I know for some people, they cry how important it is for them. They fork out money to therapists and good for them and the therapists.
I know for me, there is only one way I know if I am sexually compatible with someone and I know of only one way of finding out. If I like it, I am good and if she likes it, I am even better. Maybe they are simply not able to be satisfied, who knows. I don't know if I would stay with someone who goes on and on about sexual incompatibility or sexual compatibility. I hope the morning after dictates the answer for that.
It is hard enough at times to feel compatible with anyone, let alone complicating sexual satisfaction? It makes no sense to me, so why would I want to be with someone who is not like me with this? Is this what sexual compatibility really all about? Agreeing that one likes to have sex with someone else? I don't get it and I honestly don't care to understand it and maybe I have already understood it.
What do I need to know for sexual compatibility before I marry? I guess the morning after...
...however I don't think about sexual compatibility. All I know is that I think of with this and relationships is making love and being sure she is sexually happy and that I am sexually happy. Not much more I can say really.
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K9_Trainer
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This. It is an excuse. Sometimes I wish people could just grow a pair and stand behind what they believe instead of giving stupid excuses.
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hi i was married 3 times and now divorced but not all couples are compatible with everything ok as long as you have christ in your marriage and you both pray everything will work out just fine be encouraged keep the faith praying for you daily yours in christ prophetess cherrie
Out of interest's sake were you a prophetess when you got married and divorced?
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Socktastic
we have sinned in thought, word and deed
Rawr.
I don't really connect assessing sexual compatibility with actual sex, it's something you discuss as adults who need to know whether or not you're actually going to be able to respect the needs and desires of your partner once you've made a lifetime commitment.
It's normal to want to know, and it's normal to want to avoid situations where one of you wants thrice daily, ceiling chair antics and the other would be happy with scheduling an interaction once a month. Apart from indicating sexual compatibility it can reflect your compatibility in general; if you're very open and very much about sharing your lusty desires pre-marriage but your partner is very reserved and thinks it utterly immoral to do such a thing then perhaps you need to sit down and look at the relationship as a whole, is it just your view of sex that clashes or are you both on completely different pages when it comes to other topics? Is it that important? Are you flexible, adaptable, is it your way or the high way?
For some it is highly important, and for them I believe it is something they need to be able to discuss and explore pre-marriage*. For others it isn't and they're willing to see how things go post-marriage. Both are normal and reflect the individuals involved.
I think people need to know that i'm pretty cold and sexless, it would be a shock to the system if they weren't at least warned that i'm rather happy to sleep in separate beds.
*through discussion. I know people automatically jump to "it's an excuse for sex" but i'm not entirely convinced that's the case.
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leothelioness
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gods prophetess
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leothelioness
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No, I mean she provided TMI. I agree with what you said.hey hey hey
I was not complaining
just did not know what I could say that would not get me banned
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Daughter of Ararat
Yeshua's Rose of Hayastan
Ok, see the problem with not testing sexual compatibility by trying it is that you never know if the other person is secretly your gender... I mean, how many people honestly act and present themselves as the gender they really are...
JK.
Some ideas and expectations about sex would be good, but this is something that you have to be willing to talk about, be open about, trust the other person with. If you can't do that much, you will miss out on the best sex, in my inexperienced opinion.
JK.
Some ideas and expectations about sex would be good, but this is something that you have to be willing to talk about, be open about, trust the other person with. If you can't do that much, you will miss out on the best sex, in my inexperienced opinion.
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I think part of the problem is that the church has a tendency to teach that "sex is dirty, nasty, and wrong. Also, you only do it with the person you love." With that mentality, people are less likely to be open about sex. People shouldn't be afraid to talk about it. Of course, you also have to tread carefully (especially when discussing it with someone you're in a relationship with) to avoid lust.
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I was just joking! Lol
It's hard wired in my personality... please take what i say lightly xD
It's hard wired in my personality... please take what i say lightly xD
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Well, I think the church has done a good job making sex seem dirty and evil, which it's totally not! God created sex and He created us to be sexual beings! I'd put sex as a need up there with eating and breathing...but of course we don't NEED it every single day. But it's as much a part of who we are as anything else. So sex isn't this dirty thing to me at all. I'm not afraid to talk about it with the person I love in the context of sharing it when we get married.
Of course, though, I don't walk around talking about sex, sex, sex all day everyday. Sex isn't my number one priority in life. Now that I'm 28 and still a virgin, my drive isn't a large as it was when I was younger. I could live the rest of my life without it if that's what God wanted...but I hope He has a wife and kids in my future. So I'm not sure I could marry someone who thinks sex is naughty and dirty and can't be talked about and it would be a chore for her. I don't want sex to be a chore in my household.
Of course, though, I don't walk around talking about sex, sex, sex all day everyday. Sex isn't my number one priority in life. Now that I'm 28 and still a virgin, my drive isn't a large as it was when I was younger. I could live the rest of my life without it if that's what God wanted...but I hope He has a wife and kids in my future. So I'm not sure I could marry someone who thinks sex is naughty and dirty and can't be talked about and it would be a chore for her. I don't want sex to be a chore in my household.
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Well said Saucy. And I won't say that premarital sex is necessary for compatability, but the attitude toward it should be compatible among the mates. If one is repressed and one is a 'free spirit', that probably won't work. If one sees it as solely a baby making chore, and the other one wants its 6 times a day just because it's fun, that won't work either....but I have had enough experiences to see that (1) it should be discussed before marriage, and (2) it is best to wait until the 'I do's' before going there. It's a commitment act, not a feel good act ONLY.
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