That's probably a tall order and I don't know if I'll ever find one, but let me explain (sorry, but this could get a little long).
I'm a Christian man married to a Jewish woman. When my wife & I were first married almost 30 years ago, we were both atheists. I knew she was Jewish, but that had little or no impact, since neither of us was religious. About 15 years or so ago, we both became Christians (long story) but quickly progressed into what most people refer to as "Messianic Judaism" (another long story).
We never went back to the church we were attending or any other church (we had a bad experience with the "cliques" in the church) but there was a lot of moving around among congregations/traditions in the years that followed. I spent some time with our kids in the local Reform synagogue while my wife left and went back to the Messianic Jewish congregation. Eventually, we switched places and I went back to the MJ group while she became involved, first with the Reform synagogue and then the Chabad group. She has since renounced Jesus and is religiously Jewish, spending her time, both in worship and in social fellowship, with both synagogues.
In the meantime, I ended up on the board of the MJ congregation and did a bit of teaching and writing for them for a number of years. But as I continued to study and learn, I realized that Jesus never intended non-Jews to obey all of the laws in the Torah as he did the Jewish disciples (I know I just contradicted most of Christian theology that says the law is "dead" for everyone, not just the non-Jewish Christians). Morally, I didn't feel I could teach from a "One Law" perspective anymore and turned in my resignation about 9 months ago. Another reason I quit the MJ group is that I missed worshiping with my wife and thought that, after leaving MJ, I might be able to (even occasionally) attend synagogue and/or classes with her.
(I should say at this point that our kids are all grown and none of them has a strong religious identity, although they call culturally and ethnically consider themselves Jewish).
My plan to start worshiping with my wife didn't work out the way I had planned. I think, because she became religiously Jewish rather late in life, she doesn't know how to manage being "suddenly" in an interfaith marriage. The other interfaith couples she knows in synagogue have one religiously Jewish spouse, but the Gentile spouse isn't specifically Christian. I think she thinks I'm going to embarrass her or something because I'm a Christian. Although I've approached her on several occasions and asked if I could share that part of her life, she has (gently) continued to put me off.
Anyway, I've been considering attending a church, maybe occasionally at first, since I'm feeling rather isolated and would like to have some fellowship. The problem is, given my background, I don't conceptualize Jesus, God, and the Bible in a "typical" Christian fashion. For one thing, I don't think the church has replaced the Jewish people and Judaism in all of the OT covenant promises (please don't try to convince me otherwise...my blog is full of people who have tried to do this to no avail). One of the barriers to even the thought of going to a church again is that they will preach some sort of anti-Jewish/anti-Israel message and I'll be out of there like a shot.
My wife will never, ever go into a church to worship, so that isn't an option. I am concerned that eventually, should I go to a church, when it comes out that I am "unequally yoked", either I, my wife, or both of us, are going to come under a lot of condemnation of one type or another. I'd prefer to worship/fellowship with folks that don't feel as if they have to try and force Jews to give up being Jewish in order to worship the Jewish Messiah. I hope to one day be able to worship with Christians who could attempt to try and meet me at the level of a fellow disciple of Christ.
Rather than me continuing to drone on, you can learn more about me in ten minutes by reading my blog (I call it "morning meditations" so I write with a ridiculous frequency...at least once a day) than you will by me writing another ten minutes here in this thread. Since I can't post links yet (I need to have 50 posts here in this discussion forum), you can go to my profile and find a link to my blog if you're interested.
If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them. If not, thanks for at least letting me get this off my chest.
-James
I'm a Christian man married to a Jewish woman. When my wife & I were first married almost 30 years ago, we were both atheists. I knew she was Jewish, but that had little or no impact, since neither of us was religious. About 15 years or so ago, we both became Christians (long story) but quickly progressed into what most people refer to as "Messianic Judaism" (another long story).
We never went back to the church we were attending or any other church (we had a bad experience with the "cliques" in the church) but there was a lot of moving around among congregations/traditions in the years that followed. I spent some time with our kids in the local Reform synagogue while my wife left and went back to the Messianic Jewish congregation. Eventually, we switched places and I went back to the MJ group while she became involved, first with the Reform synagogue and then the Chabad group. She has since renounced Jesus and is religiously Jewish, spending her time, both in worship and in social fellowship, with both synagogues.
In the meantime, I ended up on the board of the MJ congregation and did a bit of teaching and writing for them for a number of years. But as I continued to study and learn, I realized that Jesus never intended non-Jews to obey all of the laws in the Torah as he did the Jewish disciples (I know I just contradicted most of Christian theology that says the law is "dead" for everyone, not just the non-Jewish Christians). Morally, I didn't feel I could teach from a "One Law" perspective anymore and turned in my resignation about 9 months ago. Another reason I quit the MJ group is that I missed worshiping with my wife and thought that, after leaving MJ, I might be able to (even occasionally) attend synagogue and/or classes with her.
(I should say at this point that our kids are all grown and none of them has a strong religious identity, although they call culturally and ethnically consider themselves Jewish).
My plan to start worshiping with my wife didn't work out the way I had planned. I think, because she became religiously Jewish rather late in life, she doesn't know how to manage being "suddenly" in an interfaith marriage. The other interfaith couples she knows in synagogue have one religiously Jewish spouse, but the Gentile spouse isn't specifically Christian. I think she thinks I'm going to embarrass her or something because I'm a Christian. Although I've approached her on several occasions and asked if I could share that part of her life, she has (gently) continued to put me off.
Anyway, I've been considering attending a church, maybe occasionally at first, since I'm feeling rather isolated and would like to have some fellowship. The problem is, given my background, I don't conceptualize Jesus, God, and the Bible in a "typical" Christian fashion. For one thing, I don't think the church has replaced the Jewish people and Judaism in all of the OT covenant promises (please don't try to convince me otherwise...my blog is full of people who have tried to do this to no avail). One of the barriers to even the thought of going to a church again is that they will preach some sort of anti-Jewish/anti-Israel message and I'll be out of there like a shot.
My wife will never, ever go into a church to worship, so that isn't an option. I am concerned that eventually, should I go to a church, when it comes out that I am "unequally yoked", either I, my wife, or both of us, are going to come under a lot of condemnation of one type or another. I'd prefer to worship/fellowship with folks that don't feel as if they have to try and force Jews to give up being Jewish in order to worship the Jewish Messiah. I hope to one day be able to worship with Christians who could attempt to try and meet me at the level of a fellow disciple of Christ.
Rather than me continuing to drone on, you can learn more about me in ten minutes by reading my blog (I call it "morning meditations" so I write with a ridiculous frequency...at least once a day) than you will by me writing another ten minutes here in this thread. Since I can't post links yet (I need to have 50 posts here in this discussion forum), you can go to my profile and find a link to my blog if you're interested.
If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them. If not, thanks for at least letting me get this off my chest.
-James