I understand the concern Christians have for the salvation of Homosexuals. It is not here that my problem lies. My problem lies in two parts.
1. There is a specific way to reach out to those who are homosexual. It is important to let them know that God loves them just as much as any sinner, and it is not their orientation that is sinful, but acting on such inclinations that is sinful. This is much more effective than yelling "God hates gays" at people.
2. My second problem stems from what I have observed among different religious individuals. They seem to concentrate solely on certain sins. They speak out against abortion and homosexuality as if they are the only sins a person can commit. Other sins (capital punishment, neglecting those in need, hatred, racism, theft, etc.) never get mentioned anymore. If I was to judge the severity of sins based just off what I hear preached from religious individuals the list would be as follows:
1. Homosexuality
2. Abortion
and then everything else a distant 3rd place on because the only things I ever hear about anymore are The two aforementioned.
This is why I have such a respect for the Roman Catholic, Anglican, and Eastern Orthodox churches I have attended. They see sin as sin. It doesn't matter if it is homosexual fornication or heterosexual fornication. Both are sins.
I think you raise some very good points. I have known plenty of church-going, conservative people who are staunchly pro-marriage...even while they're living together with their not-yet-fiancee...who will rail loudly against homosexual "civil unions" but essentially are living in exactly the same style relationships.
Homosexual marriage advocates can of course point out that those groups who most loudly declare and defend "traditional marriage" have divorce rates equal to those who are not religious.
Your final point is exactly right...sin is sin, and fornication is fornication, and if we stand against one we must stand against the other. Sometimes I think the "big sins" may be easier for us to point our fingers at, because whatever else we do wickedly...well, we aren't doing
that. There can definitely be a streak of pride in that.
As to your statement that "the orientation isn't sinful, only acting on it," I'm not sure whether to agree or not. It's something like saying "Looking at a woman isn't a sin, only acting on it is..." only Jesus said we've already committed adultery in our hearts. Looking with desire on someone of the opposite sex is righteous when it happens within the bounds set by God (and because we are sinful, it never does). I would say that ogling a woman who isn't your wife is sinful because it is a deviation (a "missing of the mark") from how our desires should function. Likewise a man ogling another man misses the mark (OK...I will admit it misses it even more, because there is NO possible righteous end to that passion) and is therefore sinful, even if it hasn't led to an action.
On the other hand, I would not say that
being heterosexual (in orientation) is something inherently virtuous, and in a similar way,
being homosexual (in orientation) is perhaps not inherently a vice...???
Really, I'm not sure what to think. The former is not a virtue, but it is at least aligned with what God (and nature!) have revealed.