Why are people so obsessed with being skinny ?

Tink

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Just as you hate being lumped into an anorexic category, I hate being wrapped up into a lazy, unfit, fat person category. Just as there are many levels of "thin" (naturally thin, anorexic, tall & thin bone structure) there are many levels of "fat".

I'm not one of those fat people who can't walk up a hill without needing a break. I swim, hike, longboard(skateboard), bike, etc. I can run after my 2 year old nephew and not get winded. I can jog across a store to grab something that I forgot. I enjoy walking/jogging on the trails around here. Yet because of my size, I'm lumped into this category of being unfit. Here's an example. My brother, mother and I decided to go on a walk on a biking/walking trail around here. It's about 5 miles roundtrip. I decided to longboard. We get down to the beach and I pick up my longboard after riding it the whole way there, and I walk across the street with it. This truckful of teenage boys say loudly to each other, "Dude, I'd love to see that fat girl ride that longboard." and then "Yeah man, there's no way she can ride that thing." Traffic was too loud to reply back and frankly they didn't even deserve a reply. My point is that fat does NOT equal unfit in all cases. Just as very thin does not equal an eating disorder in all cases.

I've never been tiny, I will never be tiny. Even when I played basketball in high school and ran 5 miles a day I was never tiny. But as my current trainer has told me, I don't have to be small, as long as I'm fit.

I'm not just saying that I'm fit, I've actually been tested. I had to pass a physical agility testing (similar to what cadets in police academies go through, I was working in a maximum security setting) in order to work at a prison hospital. They told me before I even tried that I wasn't going to be able to pass because of my weight. But they said they'd let me "try" anyway. (Thanks?) And you know what? I passed, first try. The doctor and nurses had to leave the room to discuss what just happened because I was the first female at my weight to pass this test in the history of them giving it there. So yes, I've been medically declared physically fit.

Anyway, just as you don't appreciate generalizations, neither do I.

Picture of me after reaching the top of Bishop Peak. :)

189110_1788426184151_1044467534_32009524_2406095_n.jpg

I adore you.


And also, you're gorgeous. Every.single.bit.of.you.
 
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Tink

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indeed. I know people who would be considered overweight. they can have the right diets, do the right exercise, be physically in shape, but they still have the weight. Its quite insulting to those people to generalize them as lazy or as people who do not take care of themselves.

nor does being thin mean that the person is in good shape.

honestly Keri - you're probably... no. you ARE doing better than me. with my health and busy schedule, I just don't have time and often the energy/feeling well enough to work out. I eat right, but I'm not fit. I am a strong girl, i get comments all the time about how other women wish they were tall and thin like me - but I also get laughed at (even by people who know about my situation) because I am tall and thin and cannot walk fast like I'm expected to. I can't run very well either :p I am physically just not able to most days (hopefully as my health and job situation improves that will change), but that doesn't fit the picture most people have of who I *should* be because of my body type - so I'm weird.

people need to stop with assumptions and generalizations.

Prayers for your health, beautiful. :)
 
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Sunset2009

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Having preferences when it comes to weight/body type doesn't make somebody shallow. If a guy only wants to date a thin woman because that's what he finds attractive, so what? It doesn't mean he's not also looking at personality. If the physical attraction isn't there, it's not there. Shallow is considering ONLY appearance and not personality. If a guy is dating a girl because she's hot even though he doesn't really get along with her or like her personality, THAT'S shallow, and yes, there are guys out there like that. There are enough women in the world to find one with both a compatible personality AND the preferred body type.

But saying that men are shallow is nothing more than a broad, sweeping generalization that is an insult to the good men in the world. And women are not innocent from being shallow either. Some women are shallow too, and women also have standards for what they will or won't date when it comes to appearance.

No, it is shallow, and here's why. Because these type of men are ONLY looking at the physical. I completely understand not preferring someone who is big because the automatic assumption is that they're not healthy or fit. (And obviously, as we find with Keri and many, many others, this is not true.) But a person being healthy and fit is a legitimate preference and I get that. But a person HAVING to be very skinny, without any implications, meaning, they could be very unhealthy, not physically fit or in shape at all, and have bad eating habits, IS similar to preferring someone's eyes being blue or someone's hair being red. Because it is completely, 100% physical appearance. It's not about being skinny in terms of being fit and healthy, it's about being skinny, period. Which, is about as stupid as only dating someone with a certain eye color. (And yes, there's a bit of bitterness because these guys I know are complete d-bags and treat their girlfriends accordingly.)

Now, that is a preference, we all have preferences. I prefer men who have dark hair and hairy chests, but it is all shallow, not substantial, and I would never NOT date a man with blonde hair and a hairless chest. But it is shallow, because these kind of men will absolutely not date anyone bigger than like, a size 7 and having a healthy lifestyle has nothing to do with it. They just want a skinny girl for whatever reasons, but health is not one of them. So, it's the same as preferring someone to have blue eyes.


Keri, thanks for your post. Unfortunately I have assumed at times that all somewhat considerably overweight people are just lazy and spend their days at Burger King and their nights at McDonalds. And that's real unfortunate.
 
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Rhye

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Just as you hate being lumped into an anorexic category, I hate being wrapped up into a lazy, unfit, fat person category. Just as there are many levels of "thin" (naturally thin, anorexic, tall & thin bone structure) there are many levels of "fat".

I'm not one of those fat people who can't walk up a hill without needing a break. I swim, hike, longboard(skateboard), bike, etc. I can run after my 2 year old nephew and not get winded. I can jog across a store to grab something that I forgot. I enjoy walking/jogging on the trails around here. Yet because of my size, I'm lumped into this category of being unfit. Here's an example. My brother, mother and I decided to go on a walk on a biking/walking trail around here. It's about 5 miles roundtrip. I decided to longboard. We get down to the beach and I pick up my longboard after riding it the whole way there, and I walk across the street with it. This truckful of teenage boys say loudly to each other, "Dude, I'd love to see that fat girl ride that longboard." and then "Yeah man, there's no way she can ride that thing." Traffic was too loud to reply back and frankly they didn't even deserve a reply. My point is that fat does NOT equal unfit in all cases. Just as very thin does not equal an eating disorder in all cases.

I've never been tiny, I will never be tiny. Even when I played basketball in high school and ran 5 miles a day I was never tiny. But as my current trainer has told me, I don't have to be small, as long as I'm fit.

I'm not just saying that I'm fit, I've actually been tested. I had to pass a physical agility testing (similar to what cadets in police academies go through, I was working in a maximum security setting) in order to work at a prison hospital. They told me before I even tried that I wasn't going to be able to pass because of my weight. But they said they'd let me "try" anyway. (Thanks?) And you know what? I passed, first try. The doctor and nurses had to leave the room to discuss what just happened because I was the first female at my weight to pass this test in the history of them giving it there. So yes, I've been medically declared physically fit.

Anyway, just as you don't appreciate generalizations, neither do I.

Picture of me after reaching the top of Bishop Peak. :)

189110_1788426184151_1044467534_32009524_2406095_n.jpg

You know you have inspired me a lot in how you treat and eat your food. I've also gone on the hunt (thankful Fresh and Easy has those things) and I've found a lot of great things that I truly enjoy and expanded my foodie variety. =)
 
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Keri

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Keri, thanks for your post. Unfortunately I have assumed at times that all somewhat considerably overweight people are just lazy and spend their days at Burger King and their nights at McDonalds. And that's real unfortunate.

You're welcome. Thank you for reading it. Not all overweight people eat fast food. I haven't eaten at either place you mentioned in years. I keep to a vegan/vegetarian diet. Some weeks I eat no animal products, some weeks I eat a little bit of eggs and cheese. That's another generalization: diet. That if you're heavy you gorge on fatty foods. Not true. Just like if you're thin, you don't eat at all. I know that's not true as well.

Generalizations just need to stop.
 
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Stravinsk

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You're welcome. Thank you for reading it. Not all overweight people eat fast food. I haven't eaten at either place you mentioned in years. I keep to a vegan/vegetarian diet. Some weeks I eat no animal products, some weeks I eat a little bit of eggs and cheese. That's another generalization: diet. That if you're heavy you gorge on fatty foods. Not true. Just like if you're thin, you don't eat at all. I know that's not true as well.

Generalizations just need to stop.

This is generally true, though. Saturated animal fat (as found in egg yolks, cheese and the like) - is solid at room temp - which means it is solid at normal human body temp - which means that more exercise is needed to burn it(turn it into liquid to be used for energy). It "sticks to ya" otherwise. That's not a false representation - it's true. Over time, people's arteries get clogged with the stuff.

All the people I know that are way overweight claim they eat healthy but every single one of them (if not now, then in the past) eat a lot of saturated fat products - the unhealthy kind (from animals, from hydrogenation).
 
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Keri

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This is generally true, though. Saturated animal fat (as found in egg yolks, cheese and the like) - is solid at room temp - which means it is solid at normal human body temp - which means that more exercise is needed to burn it(turn it into liquid to be used for energy). It "sticks to ya" otherwise. That's not a false representation - it's true. Over time, people's arteries get clogged with the stuff.

All the people I know that are way overweight claim they eat healthy but every single one of them (if not now, then in the past) eat a lot of saturated fat products - the unhealthy kind (from animals, from hydrogenation).
It may be generally true, but it's not always true.
 
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Lisa1285

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Being honest with you when I say this but alot of people are weight conscious or image conscious... especially girls between 12 and into the 20's. I mean young people in particular care too much about appearance but, for me, as I have gotten a little older (25), I realize weight, and looks are not everything.
Everyone struggles with their body at one point or another but in short we should be grateful for what God has blessed us with--while some are genetically thin others may be genetically heavier. People come in all shapes and sizes---I look at the person and their character, mind, and sometimes their body. It's all based on what you think is important--but us Christians know that God looks at the HEART, even though humanity often looks at the body.
 
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GQ Chris

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Fitness is very important, but I think that the fitness craze today and in the past is rooted in narcissism and also $$$.

I'm glad I no longer wake up at 2am to down a protein shake, or spend 2-3 hours in the gym, that was just insanity and depression(yes depression). I have a life and want to spend it on things I really enjoy.
 
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Saucy

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I've lost 150 pounds in a year and a half and am continuing to lose weight. My body struggles. I can eat the same meal as my skinny sister and I gain a pound and she burns it off running up the stairs. But I was big my whole life...from the time I was 5-years-old. I've never had a *real* girlfriend and got all the looks and stares. People make comments, even now when I'm walking and don't know my struggle. They also don't know how athletic I really am.

Any given day when I was a teen, I would swim for hours, play football in the yard, ride my bike two miles to my friend's house and do some backyard wrestling on a trampoline and walk around the apartment complex, climbing trees. This was every single day. I wasn't at home to stuff my face. I gained 70 pounds that summer. Made no sense whatsoever.

After my father died I did go on a self-destructive binge where food was the only thing that made me feel better, even if temporary and I gained a lot of weight after that. I'm now very close to my pre-death weight. But everyone's body is different and there are a few overweight people out there who do not care and stuff their faces, but a majority of them, I'm willing to bet, have struggled with their weight their whole lives and would give anything to change it.

I just wish people weren't so nasty and had more compassion on other human beings. We all have our struggles. It's just worse for those whose struggles show on the outside versus those you can hide on the inside.
 
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Hadassah_

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I'll never be skinny but I shouldn't be as fluffy as I am now. I'll admit, I'm pretty lazy, my job is very sedentary, and our diet isn't as good as it should be.

However, I am still a person whom God loves more than life itself and deserve to be treated as such. I'm probably going to deck the next person who calls me a "fatty" when I'm shopping in the mall...just sayin'.

And I'm REALLY disappointed in the behaviour some Christian people exhibit towards others when it comes to appearance. This is one place where we SHOULD stand above the world and be different; showing that all people are capable and deserving of love regardless of appearance and body size.

I don't know a lot of people's race or background here, but I wonder if it has to do with that. Looking how I do, my girlfriend showed my picture to some black and Hispanic men and they all went NUTS! Some even went as far as to say I was prettier than she is (not true) because she's lost so much weight (she's down to a size 6 and looks GREAT!).

I try not to get discouraged when I hear men say, "I only want a skinny woman" but it's hard. I actually prefer to hear, "I want someone who can keep up with me physically; surf, play extreme frisbee, ride bikes on the mountains"...that makes more sense to me. It's selecting a healthy, active lifestyle rather than an appearance.

And what I find funnier? These men who prefer the skinny 20 year olds don't realise how women's bodies change after child birth. Some CAN'T lose the weight no matter how hard they try and some just don't have the time or energy to try and the husbands feel cheated and disappointed.
 
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Rose of Eden

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People (women, esp.) are obsessed with being skinny because they think that's the only way the men will like them. And more men are probably going to be attracted to her if she's skinny. But the men who call out from their cars and whistle from across the street, are going to do that whether you're a size 2 or a size 12, they're pervs, and in the end all that matters is the person you end up with who loves you because of who you are.

This is very encouraging! Thanks! :hug:


Just as you hate being lumped into an anorexic category, I hate being wrapped up into a lazy, unfit, fat person category. Just as there are many levels of "thin" (naturally thin, anorexic, tall & thin bone structure) there are many levels of "fat".

I'm not one of those fat people who can't walk up a hill without needing a break. I swim, hike, longboard(skateboard), bike, etc. I can run after my 2 year old nephew and not get winded. I can jog across a store to grab something that I forgot. I enjoy walking/jogging on the trails around here. Yet because of my size, I'm lumped into this category of being unfit. Here's an example. My brother, mother and I decided to go on a walk on a biking/walking trail around here. It's about 5 miles roundtrip. I decided to longboard. We get down to the beach and I pick up my longboard after riding it the whole way there, and I walk across the street with it. This truckful of teenage boys say loudly to each other, "Dude, I'd love to see that fat girl ride that longboard." and then "Yeah man, there's no way she can ride that thing." Traffic was too loud to reply back and frankly they didn't even deserve a reply. My point is that fat does NOT equal unfit in all cases. Just as very thin does not equal an eating disorder in all cases.

I've never been tiny, I will never be tiny. Even when I played basketball in high school and ran 5 miles a day I was never tiny. But as my current trainer has told me, I don't have to be small, as long as I'm fit.

I'm not just saying that I'm fit, I've actually been tested. I had to pass a physical agility testing (similar to what cadets in police academies go through, I was working in a maximum security setting) in order to work at a prison hospital. They told me before I even tried that I wasn't going to be able to pass because of my weight. But they said they'd let me "try" anyway. (Thanks?) And you know what? I passed, first try. The doctor and nurses had to leave the room to discuss what just happened because I was the first female at my weight to pass this test in the history of them giving it there. So yes, I've been medically declared physically fit.

Anyway, just as you don't appreciate generalizations, neither do I.

Picture of me after reaching the top of Bishop Peak. :)

189110_1788426184151_1044467534_32009524_2406095_n.jpg


Wow! I am seriously jealous of how active and fit you are, Keri! You shine and you're beautiful, inside and out! :hug:
 
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Rose of Eden

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I myself have struggled with many of the same things mentioned in this thread so far. I've always struggled with my weight and I was NEVER skinny, not even as a preschooler. I was constantly yoyo-ing between being an average weight and being chubby. Growing up, I never quite understood why I packed on weight so easily. Sure, I didn't eat super healthy diet-like food (but really, what kid does? Haha!), but I didn't eat terrible. I was quite active and played many sports. I just didn't understand why some of my classmates who gorged on McDonalds, soda, chips, and candy EVERY DAY and played NO sports were stick-thin and naturally athletic-looking. It didn't seem fair. All through elementary and middle school, I was verbally bullied for being chunky and for looking "different" and "ugly." Guys never liked me. (Why would they?) Things like that take a serious, and often permanent, toll on one's self-esteem. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever fully recover.

Now, as an adult I see things a little differently. I now realize that, genetically, my body packs on weight easily. (But hey, that also means I'm genetically fit for evolutionary survival, right?! :p) In order to maintain a healthy weight, I have to REALLY watch every little thing that I eat and make sure to stay active every day. I realize that I will never be skinny and I'm okay with that. I'm happy with just maintaining a somewhat healthy weight (while not being a complete slave to dieting and exercise).

From the time that we are little girls, society tells us ladies over and over that our looks and the size and shape of our bodies are tied to our worth, our worth to men and our worth as a human being. I think that's why we're so obsessed with being skinny. But now I strive daily to listen to a different voice: Christ's. I just try to be healthy and comfortable with myself and my body as God made me. And I am trying to trust that if I do this and stay focused on Jesus, the right man will still be able to love me. :)
 
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Im_A

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Don't remember if I posted in this already and if I did...thoughts may or may not have changed:
Hey if a girl wants to super skinny, that's her right. I may not be attracted to super skinny women, having only dated one and the rest being average/norm/fuller body types , but really...who am I to pass judgment on a woman wanting to be zero or below?

Do I understand why they would want that? Nope.
Does it mean anything to my life? Nope.

If they are happy, then so be it. If for themselves it is dangerous and they take that risk. So be it. If they are healthy being like that, good for them.

I care about the women in my life first and foremost. Mom, sister and g/f. Then the rest of my family and friends.

The rest, I hope for the best and hope they just be positive but that's about as far as it goes. I got tired of criticizing something that has no relevance towards my life and it was kind of hypocritical of me to joke about skinny skinny weight on women because I did date a woman that was super skinny.
 
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MacFall

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I just think it's a natural, biological aversion to excessive weight taken too far in the opposite direction. And that has further influenced what we think of as being "excessive" weight, which pushes the envelope even further in the wrong direction.
 
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I've lost 150 pounds in a year and a half and am continuing to lose weight. My body struggles. I can eat the same meal as my skinny sister and I gain a pound and she burns it off running up the stairs. But I was big my whole life...from the time I was 5-years-old. I've never had a *real* girlfriend and got all the looks and stares. People make comments, even now when I'm walking and don't know my struggle. They also don't know how athletic I really am.

Any given day when I was a teen, I would swim for hours, play football in the yard, ride my bike two miles to my friend's house and do some backyard wrestling on a trampoline and walk around the apartment complex, climbing trees. This was every single day. I wasn't at home to stuff my face. I gained 70 pounds that summer. Made no sense whatsoever.

After my father died I did go on a self-destructive binge where food was the only thing that made me feel better, even if temporary and I gained a lot of weight after that. I'm now very close to my pre-death weight. But everyone's body is different and there are a few overweight people out there who do not care and stuff their faces, but a majority of them, I'm willing to bet, have struggled with their weight their whole lives and would give anything to change it.

I just wish people weren't so nasty and had more compassion on other human beings. We all have our struggles. It's just worse for those whose struggles show on the outside versus those you can hide on the inside.

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad :( That must have been really hard to go through!

It sounds like you're doing a good job! :thumbsup:
Yes, people can be very unkind. :(
 
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SplendidTree

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I have probably posted in this before. I have been seriously underweight as well as most likely obese. People were much more hurtful when I was tinier. I am losing weight but am honestly anxious about going too low because of how I felt and how mean people were to me. Just rambling....
 
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The Media Plain And Simple Plus All The Health Gurus Make It Look As If That Is How It Suppose To Be Yawn

Yeah, when a lot of girls are perfectly healthy and fine. I've heard that in Egypt they like women to be a little bigger, which sounded kind of strange to me, but it's all culture. :)
 
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Keri

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This is very encouraging! Thanks! :hug:





Wow! I am seriously jealous of how active and fit you are, Keri! You shine and you're beautiful, inside and out! :hug:
Oh man, I forgot I posted that picture, LOL. Thanks Rose. I still struggle with the frustrations of being "big" and not being judged for being active. I used to be more sensitive to it. Like the comment those guys made, in the past would have made me want to sell my longboard. But that didn't stop me from riding. I'd say about 95% of the time I get good response. Hiking on trails with super fit guys RUNNING by me uphill can be frustrating but the smiles they give me when they pass me on the way back down shows me that they respect my efforts. Sure, I wish some people wouldn't be so judgmental and assume that fat=lazy but that's the nature of the beast, right? People judge. People assume. All we can do is keep doing what is right for us.
 
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