My wife says she wants to die, what do I do?

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My wife says she wants to die
Hello everyone. My wife is bipolar and she says she wants to die and has a plan to do so. She goes to a weekly meeting with her therapist of three years now and is also on medications which have just been adjusted within the last week by her med doctor.
My wife told me last night....she was an open book.....that she has a plan to kill herslef. She is not saying she will do it but she does have a plan. Now my wife tried to kill herself about 15 months ago via a large pill overdose which did not work. She has been in the local psych hospital several times over the past few years as well. Those places can keep her safe for the moment but never seem to work.....as they put her on med, kick her out, then her doctor changes the meds.....and the cycle begins again.
Now here is some info on us:

ME:
age 36
legally blind
unemployed
live on SSI
live with parents

Wife:
age 35
unemployed
lives with me at parents house
is a nursing student on college
has bipolar

Now my mother has said this point blank....that if my wife goes back to the psych hospital....she will fight for custody of our almost 3 year old daughter. She seems to think that my wife can just "snap out of it"....or "try harder"....or "not give in to it", etc. I do not think she understands my wife's sickness.
What do I do for her? We are in a bit of a pickle here. I mean I can pray or course. My wife claims to have seen Heaven several years ago and her story of what Heaven is like seems to line up with the book "Heaven Is For Real".....which was written long after my wife had claimed this. My wife says she knows what Jesus looks like and what Heaven is like and just wants to go home.....so she figures if she kills herself she will just go home with Jesus.....which is what she wants anyway.
What do I do? If I tell my mother about all of this.....she might freak out. If I do nothing and just things things run their course.....my wife might act on her plan......or she may not act on her plan. Today is out 5th year wedding anniversary as well. I am at a loss and am not sure what to do.

Update:

My wife says she has a plan and does not want to go to the hospital at all....period. I know the plan....it is a lethal injection that stops the heart. She is a nursing student so she must have the supplies to do so.
 

heron

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That puts you in a scary position. The one glimmer of hope I can see, is that creating a plan might make her feel more secure or in control. Bipolar is so unpredictable, it probably frightens her to see what potentially happens; she might be afraid of what she will do, and see the finality as a way of managing risk.

It's good that she has been working with professionals all along. Then at least she has their past advice going through her thoughts.
 
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Pal Handy

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May God bless you and may he deliver you and your wife from evil.

Please, all who read this desperate plea for help, pray.....

Father we lift up to you this woman and her husband.
Father we ask that you would arise and do what we cannot do.
We ask that you would deliver this woman from the lies of the devil and
deliver her from the afflictions that cause her to consider death a viable option.

Father, nothing is imposible for you.
Father you said that the prayers of a righteous man avails much.
Father we are righteous in your son Jesus Christ and we cry out to you
as one and in agreement as we ask that you would completely deliver this
woman from suicide and death and cause her to live and give you the glory for her restored life.

In Jesus name we pray....Amen

Please keep her in your prayers.
 
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s1mp13m4n

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My wife saw her therapist today and here is the truth of the matter....the therapist knows that my wife wants to "go home" My wife and the therapist have a "contract" and my wife's word that she will not harm herself. Now the therapist is out of options in that she told my wife today that hospitalization will keep her safe for now, but what happens when she gets back out again? Yes this is serious but I can not keep her from harming herslef, it is almost like this is up to God. Also in 05/10 my wife tried to kill herself with a huge amount of RX drugs...and it did not work. She was in and out of the hospital in a week. I am scared she will try again.
 
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iambren

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That puts you in a scary position. The one glimmer of hope I can see, is that creating a plan might make her feel more secure or in control. Bipolar is so unpredictable, it probably frightens her to see what potentially happens; she might be afraid of what she will do, and see the finality as a way of managing risk.

It's good that she has been working with professionals all along. Then at least she has their past advice going through her thoughts.

I agree with this post very much. Over 20 years I have dealt with bipolar, take my meds, and live a pretty normal, productive life. It's weird how suicide talk can mean different things: yes, suicide is comforting as a means of control, she may be rehearsing it in her mind, she may be using it to get a rise out of you, a cry for help. The fact that they keep releasing her could be medical irresponsibility or they've been convinced that she's not a real threat to herself.

You know, if she really wants to do it she'll do it. I definitely believe if a believer commits suicide in a mental haze because it's all to much to bear goes to heaven. Someone wisely told me that it takes a lot to overcome the built-in will to live. Feel for you bro, will pray.

 
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Life2Christ

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My wife feels in her heart that she will go to Heaven and is also born again, so she will just "go home". I am not sure if hospital will help as she has been there a few times before. :(
Don't wait, do it today. Call a suicide prevention hotline or call 911. Does your wife realize that suicide is killing a creation of God. Heaven? I don't know about that one. Also, she can't go through this by herself, she needs bipolar support. What does the therapist recommend? Keep us updated. Good luck.
 
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heron

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It's weird how suicide talk can mean different things: yes, suicide is comforting as a means of control, she may be rehearsing it in her mind, she may be using it to get a rise out of you, a cry for help.
I'm thinking about the difference between men and women, and how men like to fix situations, where women want to express frustrations. If your reaction is usually the cold fix (besides the necessary calling for pro help right now), then something within her probably years for the merciful word that just connects with her personally, and attempts to understand her.

I'm not saying you should fix things yourself, but make sure you spend some time every day letting her vent, and listening without looking for firm conclusions. It may sound counter-productive, but she is clearly frustrated with herself, and maybe with her ability to manage what she thinks she should be able to manage.

Sometimes people inflate problems verbally until they get that feedback... but when a woman does that to a man, the man often sees that as "gee someone should fix that problem," and hands it off to someone else. A woman could see that as not relating well, or not fulfilling partner responsibilities... where a man could see it as getting things done efficiently. When it comes to feelings and convictions, there is little efficiency.

She is probably so hard on herself that she says that she wants to relieve other people of her foibles. Reassure her that she is of great value to you, and you need her friendship in your life.
it takes a lot to overcome the built-in will to live.
Most of the people I've known who started to lose that will to live, held it together for their kids or other loved ones. They couldn't bear to think of hurting someone or leaving their children in foster care.


 
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LilLamb219

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Life2Christ gave a good point about being God's creations...but also we are created in GOD'S image! Remind her of that.

Remind her also that your young daughter so desperately needs her mommy as she's growing up...she'd rather have a mommy with issues than no mommy at all. :(
 
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s1mp13m4n

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I spoke on the phone today with my wife's therapist and in a nutshell she tol dme to just hang in there, support your wife, if things get bad call the cops and have her placed in hospital care....but other than that I was told there is not much else I can do and if she really wants to harm herself....the hospital will only prolong the issue and she will just keep trying. Now this is coming from a Christian therapist and Christian service.
 
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Eliza4800

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If she is truly wanting to go home then explain to her a direct violation of God's rule (Do not commit murder) is not the way she wants to meet him. She is not God. He is the giver and taker of life. He has a plan for her... he uses the weak to lead the strong. She has a lot to offer once she stops throwing in the towel and working to get better... She has to make the decision. For your own sanity's sake all you can do is cling to God and read his word daily. (I know they have brail Bibles) Ask God to protect her from herself and to work in this situation. Be there for your wife as much as you can humanly but be mindful of your little one. I can't imagine what this is like and will be lifting you up in prayer. It sounds like you love her very much!
 
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s1mp13m4n

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My wife and I had a tiff this morning because I told my mother about my wife and how she is doing and what is going on. My wife got mad at me for doing so and called me a trader and said that I have betrayed her trust. All I am trying to do is get her some help. Also my mother and I had some chores to do and shopping to get done so my wife was left at the house for three hours, so if she was gonna harm herself....that would have been a perfect time. I feel like all this is a cry for help or attention. She is still sleeping and it is 3:30pm here and she does not want to get up and will not talk to me. Please realize that I am frustrated and I am sorry if that is coming across in my typing. I just want answers. Why is God allowing this when He could just heal her? This is not a new thing, this has been a battle of hers for many years.
 
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spr

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Stand up for your wife. Your mother wants the children taken from her, and is hostile towards her problems. She might be cured from the madness if her husband takes a stand (get your wife away from her enemy). But that requires a change in heart:

Mat_10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

Gen_2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
 
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s1mp13m4n

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I am praying for her...and I can not take her out of this....I can not drive and do not have the money to take her anywhere as I live on SSI. My mother is willing to help my wife, yet at the same time she sees my wife doing little to nothing for her daughter....thus my mother thinks she is not taking time with her daughter, thus wants custody. Now this would only happen if my wife tried to kill herself and went to the hospital because of doing so. I did find out that my wife is/was planning to use a leather injection to kill herself.....she told me so and so did her therapist.
 
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spr

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Also your wife might qualify for disability too. Generally lots of hospitalization means benefits, and there is someone who specializes in disability and mental heath that she/you can talk to. You can even initiate the process and list her as a sort of dependent, so the checks will go to you. Though she has to consent, but if she likes the idea of moving out I don't see why she wouldn't.
 
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