That was a beautiful post, Gwendolyn, one that I agree with wholeheartedly.
Me as well... we need pro life reform.
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That was a beautiful post, Gwendolyn, one that I agree with wholeheartedly.
I feel a bit of guilt about that. Why don't I try to adopt one of these children who are at risk of being killed? I think the truth is, I don't want to raise them any more than their mothers do...and I think that makes me a pretty cruddy person.
Because for the same reasons they are aborting is the same reason why I couldn't adopt their child. It's not that I would want to do it but I just can't.
I agree...but that's not because one woman is a "selfish jerk" while another is a "spiritual seeker."
What would it hurt to offer to raise a child in danger of being aborted?
If that's what helps you sleep at night, great. I know that I'm not doing enough - that I am not personally shouldering enough of the burdons of others. What would it hurt to offer to raise a child in danger of being aborted? Maybe not every mother considering an abortion would go for it, but certainly at least some would. Want to help?
And the testimonies of women who have actually *had* abortions and are "Silent No More" should be made more available. Testimonies like the ones on Abortion - Silent No More Awareness Campaign - Regional Coordinators . And don't forget that the men are suffering too (it's their child too but they have no say). And many of the grandparents of the little one whose life is snuffed out also line up in the suffering department.
I could. Somehow. I mean, the child wouldn't starve to death, would be loved, would go to school and all that stuff. Might need thrift store clothes and we might have to eat lots of Ramen, maybe accept a few handouts - but my wife and I could support more children. We might have mental breakdowns, but they have drugs for that now. Besides, our personal suffering and imperfect raising of the child is still infinately better than killing the child in the womb, right?
Realistically, here we go again, we cant help her nor take care of another grown person... but I'm not going to say no and I know I'm not. I just have to figure out where I'm going to put this women...
...Because every thread we have about abortion blows up into something crazy.
But in all seriousness, I follow the Ottawa Students for Life blog (or whatever it is called), and they made a post not long ago about raising awareness among women for the after-effects of abortion. It heavily focused on telling the women that they will likely become depressed, make bad choices of partners in the future, and have unhealthy romantic relationships as a result of having an abortion.
I know that those are the usual tactics, but what bothers me is that approach to addressing women who have had abortions or are seeking abortions covers only half the story. I know women who have had abortions, and they have healthy, happy relationships. They suffer no depression, they are working hard toward building the life they dreamed of, and they are happy with their boyfriends. They know themselves very well, they don't put on fronts, and they aren't running from guilt demons in the night. I know that this isn't what pro-life people want to hear, but this actually IS the reality. There ARE women out there who honestly feel that their decision to abort their child was the best one they could have made in their situation, and they feel no regret or grief over it.
My question is - how do you minister to them? Women in that situation won't respond to insistences that they must be harbouring some secret depression, because they just... aren't. They won't respond to insistences that they must have dysfunctional relationships, because they just don't. I'm sure you could tell them that you know them better than they know themselves, but if there isn't any depression, grief, or dysfunction in their lives... how do you reach them with the message of life?
I am being serious. Please don't tell me that you could convince them that they actually ARE depressed or feeling intense guilt when they aren't. Presently, I haven't encountered a pro-life group who was able to effectively minister to this percentage of women. They play the, "Well, you MUST be depressed, even if you don't fee it!" card. Or the, "Well, you MUST feel guilty, and maybe you're just repressing it!" card. Also, I'm sure that calling those women murderers wouldn't be effective in getting them to listen to you, either. I think it is ineffective for women who feel none of those things. I am wondering how you could approach such a difficult, heartbreaking reality (that there are women out there who feel no remorse for their abortion) and still try to encourage such women to consider the message of life.
Would you just use the same tactics that you use with pro-choicers in general? Focus on the "the fetus is a human person" issue? Try to help the pro-choicers understand that life is life at any stage?
I'm just feeling frustrated and I would like some words of wisdom.
Should the testimonies of the people like the OP is discussing - those who don't in any way regret their abortions, also be made more available, or should we only promote the people who feel the way we'd like them to feel?
They already *have* been. Women are told--you really shouldn't talk about your abortion "let sleeping dogs lie"--that was to make you "happy"--now you *must* be happy. Don't remember. No talk about a vague feeling of sadness that seems to come on about the time...no wondering if the baby would look like the child you just passed...no wondering if all the miscarriages that you have experienced since (or the hysterectomy, or the breast cancer that you may have developed later :::and BTW I have some papers here that show that there isn't any connection like you and many research studies think, so you *must* be wrong to even think::: ...the broken relationship leaving you lonely and needy, it hasn't anything to do with the abortion, the guy would have left you anyway--it's *definitely* not that he no longer trusts you...and it's just your imagination that your children seem just a touch distant after they learned that you so easily killed their brother or sister and could have just as easily killed them. Nope, the abortion was a *service* for you. You wanted the abortion. Now you have it. Be happy. But whatever you do, don't think that "past is prologue" if you aren't deliriously happy.
Women need to know that there *is* help out there should it become necessary.
...Because every thread we have about abortion blows up into something crazy.
But in all seriousness, I follow the Ottawa Students for Life blog (or whatever it is called), and they made a post not long ago about raising awareness among women for the after-effects of abortion. It heavily focused on telling the women that they will likely become depressed, make bad choices of partners in the future, and have unhealthy romantic relationships as a result of having an abortion.
I know that those are the usual tactics, but what bothers me is that approach to addressing women who have had abortions or are seeking abortions covers only half the story. I know women who have had abortions, and they have healthy, happy relationships. They suffer no depression, they are working hard toward building the life they dreamed of, and they are happy with their boyfriends. They know themselves very well, they don't put on fronts, and they aren't running from guilt demons in the night. I know that this isn't what pro-life people want to hear, but this actually IS the reality. There ARE women out there who honestly feel that their decision to abort their child was the best one they could have made in their situation, and they feel no regret or grief over it.
My question is - how do you minister to them? Women in that situation won't respond to insistences that they must be harbouring some secret depression, because they just... aren't. They won't respond to insistences that they must have dysfunctional relationships, because they just don't. I'm sure you could tell them that you know them better than they know themselves, but if there isn't any depression, grief, or dysfunction in their lives... how do you reach them with the message of life?
I am being serious. Please don't tell me that you could convince them that they actually ARE depressed or feeling intense guilt when they aren't. Presently, I haven't encountered a pro-life group who was able to effectively minister to this percentage of women. They play the, "Well, you MUST be depressed, even if you don't fee it!" card. Or the, "Well, you MUST feel guilty, and maybe you're just repressing it!" card. Also, I'm sure that calling those women murderers wouldn't be effective in getting them to listen to you, either. I think it is ineffective for women who feel none of those things. I am wondering how you could approach such a difficult, heartbreaking reality (that there are women out there who feel no remorse for their abortion) and still try to encourage such women to consider the message of life.
Would you just use the same tactics that you use with pro-choicers in general? Focus on the "the fetus is a human person" issue? Try to help the pro-choicers understand that life is life at any stage?
I'm just feeling frustrated and I would like some words of wisdom.
...adding it may have been her eventual divorce that led to her break down of the abortions.
You are not reading the information carefully. On legitimate sites it will tell you that statistically your chances of these things happening to you increases. It doesn't say that these things will happen to you, but rather statistically speaking there is an increased chance that you will go through one or more of these issues....Because every thread we have about abortion blows up into something crazy.
But in all seriousness, I follow the Ottawa Students for Life blog (or whatever it is called), and they made a post not long ago about raising awareness among women for the after-effects of abortion. It heavily focused on telling the women that they will likely become depressed, make bad choices of partners in the future, and have unhealthy romantic relationships as a result of having an abortion.
I know that those are the usual tactics, but what bothers me is that approach to addressing women who have had abortions or are seeking abortions covers only half the story. I know women who have had abortions, and they have healthy, happy relationships. They suffer no depression, they are working hard toward building the life they dreamed of, and they are happy with their boyfriends. They know themselves very well, they don't put on fronts, and they aren't running from guilt demons in the night. I know that this isn't what pro-life people want to hear, but this actually IS the reality. There ARE women out there who honestly feel that their decision to abort their child was the best one they could have made in their situation, and they feel no regret or grief over it.
My question is - how do you minister to them? Women in that situation won't respond to insistences that they must be harbouring some secret depression, because they just... aren't. They won't respond to insistences that they must have dysfunctional relationships, because they just don't. I'm sure you could tell them that you know them better than they know themselves, but if there isn't any depression, grief, or dysfunction in their lives... how do you reach them with the message of life?
I am being serious. Please don't tell me that you could convince them that they actually ARE depressed or feeling intense guilt when they aren't. Presently, I haven't encountered a pro-life group who was able to effectively minister to this percentage of women. They play the, "Well, you MUST be depressed, even if you don't fee it!" card. Or the, "Well, you MUST feel guilty, and maybe you're just repressing it!" card. Also, I'm sure that calling those women murderers wouldn't be effective in getting them to listen to you, either. I think it is ineffective for women who feel none of those things. I am wondering how you could approach such a difficult, heartbreaking reality (that there are women out there who feel no remorse for their abortion) and still try to encourage such women to consider the message of life.
Would you just use the same tactics that you use with pro-choicers in general? Focus on the "the fetus is a human person" issue? Try to help the pro-choicers understand that life is life at any stage?
I'm just feeling frustrated and I would like some words of wisdom.
Well I am one of those women...who thought abortion was nothing. Twenty five years later...it hit. I became suicidal and it about tore my marriage and family apart. I was so depressed I could not function. I had been searching the scriptures getting closer to the Lord and I became uneasy. My sister had a baby at 23 1/2 weeks, 1 pound....and as I was looking at her in the neonatal unit...a nurse looked at me and said...they abort babies older than she is. I had my first panic attack. On 9-11 as the towers were coming down...I got on my hands and knees and gave it to the Lord. He saved me, lifted me up and gave me purpose. My husband did not share my love for God...and this caused even more problems because I was excited like being in love for the first time. Today he is fine...but my family, kids included did not like the new me, even though I was happy. I no longer watched R rated movies, I cleaned up my mouth, I did bible studies alone and at church....was part of a womans group and I started to do work with Right to Life groups....also Silent No More which is a group dedicated to the post abortive woman. I started praying and marching and attending conferences and fairs....picketing at PP clinics. For the most part they supported me. I started talking openly about the abortion I had. It is my testimony, of how Christ saved me.
This is a silent issue really, because I believe the majority of women suffer in silence like I did. I did not want to talk about it and hid the secret from everyone but my husband and my mother. No one wants anyone to know they killed their baby...even though society says that we have the right. Statistics are low...on how many suffer. I know I talk to broken women who can barely admit that they got one to themselves. So when people say it does not affect most women....they are just wrong. Most medical forms ask you how many pregnancies you have had......a reminder of the one you killed. Abortion pictures put a name to the procedure....a reminder of the one you killed, politicians talk about it in debates....a reminder to the one you killed....very few pastors but some talk about abortion as killing....another reminder to the one you killed. And if you search the scriptures about life in Gods eyes....it is not hard to know what you did....a reminder of what abortion does to everyone.
This is my lifes work....talking to broken women and telling them about Christ that He is the only answer to forgiveness and healing.
Abortion might be a public social issue in our country, but it is ALWAYS A PERSONAL ONE TO THE WOMAN GETTING IT. She is the one carrying around the shame and guilt....if you think that the majority of women don't care, you have no way of proving that. I believe that there are many women probably on this forum who had an abortion but remain silent. I think many pro-choice women speak out for abortion because it is a way of justifying what they did. They try to convince themselves that what they did was not sin...and because the World says its ok to do....what they did was ok. As Christians we do not follow the World...we follow Christ and we stand on the Scriptures. The Scriptures are plain...and they show sin...in this case the sin of abortion for what it is.
I pray for healing that God intervene in every post abortive womans heart...that she can admit guilt, ask forgiveness and enjoy the peace that only God can give. Its a tremendous burdon to carry around something like this and God can take that burdon.......He did for me.