i have waited 10 years, and failed

[mercyfollowsme]

hello,

Ive grown up in a word of faith church, and always wanted to live a life of faith.
i believed 10 years ago that God wanted me to stay single, despite my prayer for a wife. i was in my early 30s, and thought it was time for me. I cried when i received this from God. I told Him NO! but later relented, in tears. However, it could have been right back then, maybe i wasnt ready and God was saving me from divorce. Since then, i have been to bible college, stayed active in the church, serving as much as i could. I've changed and matured.

Now, I've reached a crisis point. Im still single, but I feel now for the past year that I've been ready. However, I've had so many disappointments in finding someone, and feel like God has not given me a breakthrough moment. There was no eureka moment, when God said now is the time. Mostly, I feel like Im not even getting help from God, and Im on my own. I can admit I got it wrong, but why didnt God show me? I know the Bible, I pray every day, Im spirit filled, Im even on leadership teams. I have told people that God was told me to wait when they ask. I deserve nothing, but believe! I am a child of God.
I believe that God responds to faith. Do I wait until Im 50 or 60? Isnt that defeating the object?

I dont know how to go on. I have failed, my beliefs have failed. I believed that my obedience would pay off. I have waited 10 years, and now I am faced with finding a wife with internet dating, something I thought i would never do. My problem is that i thought God would either give me a wife, or tell me clearly to get on with it, and at least help me find her.

I am faced with extreme thoughts about my future, and my faith.

 

[ABlessedAnomaly]

hello,

Ive grown up in a word of faith church, and always wanted to live a life of faith.
i believed 10 years ago that God wanted me to stay single, despite my prayer for a wife. i was in my early 30s, and thought it was time for me. I cried when i received this from God. I told Him NO! but later relented, in tears. However, it could have been right back then, maybe i wasnt ready and God was saving me from divorce. Since then, i have been to bible college, stayed active in the church, serving as much as i could. I've changed and matured.

Now, I've reached a crisis point. Im still single, but I feel now for the past year that I've been ready. However, I've had so many disappointments in finding someone, and feel like God has not given me a breakthrough moment. There was no eureka moment, when God said now is the time. Mostly, I feel like Im not even getting help from God, and Im on my own. I can admit I got it wrong, but why didnt God show me? I know the Bible, I pray every day, Im spirit filled, Im even on leadership teams. I have told people that God was told me to wait when they ask. I deserve nothing, but believe! I am a child of God.
I believe that God responds to faith. Do I wait until Im 50 or 60? Isnt that defeating the object?

I dont know how to go on. I have failed, my beliefs have failed. I believed that my obedience would pay off. I have waited 10 years, and now I am faced with finding a wife with internet dating, something I thought i would never do. My problem is that i thought God would either give me a wife, or tell me clearly to get on with it, and at least help me find her.

I am faced with extreme thoughts about my future, and my faith.

Pro 18:22
​

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
​

This is truth. But look! There is no timeframe set for this. Nothing in scripture tells you that you have to find a wife in your twenties, thirties, forties, fifties...


Now, I'm seeing a couple things:


"God wanted me to stay single." If you said this to yourself, then you yourself may have passed by some possible companionship.


"when i received this from God" -- what did you receive? I'm not clear. Did you feel God told you to find a wife or not to marry at that time?


"for the past year that I've been ready" and "I feel like Im not even getting help from God, and Im on my own." -- Honestly, I think you are trying too hard.


God has someone for everyone. He created Eve for Adam and set the precident for this thing called marriage. There is ONE verse in the bible that says IF you can stay single, then you can stay focused on the gospel work, BUT that man has lusts and to help him over that God prescribes marriage.


He just doesn't say when.


And sometimes God has a plan, but we feel we have to help it along (internet dating? -- perhaps it can be good, perhaps bad; you need to check with the Holy Spirit). Cuz when we help it along in our own wisdom, well, let's take a look:

Gen 16:1 Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar. 2 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.
​

(Yeah, I'm sure Abram hearkened to a voice...)

Gen 16:4 And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.
​

(first obvious clue something's wrong...)

Gen 16:5 And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee.

Gen 16:10 And the angel of the LORD said unto her, I will multiply thy seed exceedingly, that it shall not be numbered for multitude. 11And the angel of the LORD said unto her, Behold, thou art with child, and shalt bear a son, and shalt call his name Ishmael; because the LORD hath heard thy affliction. 12 And he will be a wild man; his hand will be against every man, and every man's hand against him; and he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren.

Gen 16:15 And Hagar bare Abram a son: and Abram called his son's name, which Hagar bare, Ishmael.
​

So Abram and Sarai helped the Lord out a little bit. Forced the issue. The rest is history.

Gen 17:17
​

Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear? 18 And Abraham said unto God, O that Ishmael might live before thee! 19 And God said, Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed; and thou shalt call his name Isaac: and I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his seed after him.
​

And this thirteen years after Abram and Sarai tried it themselves. You've been at it ten? Good timing -- perhaps God's about to move!!


Look: the Bible speaks of marriage as a good thing; a wife as a good thing (husbands? who knows? ) In fact there is whole book in the OT pretty much dedicated to the subject.


Don't force it. Don't hurry it along. Focus on God; do God's work. Pray. Pray in tongues. Let the Holy Spirit guide you and when she comes along you will know it. You WILL know it.


One bit of advice: quit looking for a wife. Look for a friend. Loosen up and have fun. And before you know it one of those friends....

 

[mercyfollowsme]

thanks Bob. food for thought.

 

[CindyisHis]

I'm concerned with the feeling of failure you're experiencing. That's not a good place to be. When we pray, we believe that we receive. It's just not where you see it yet. Don't give up! What you believe and what you say will come to pass.

Getting back to failure, I went through a time when I had a great opportunity to feel this way, and I did for a little bit. Thankfully, I heard the voice of my Beloved who said, "Your failures are swallowed up in My victory." Jesus has won the victory. He is triumphant.

I clung to His Word. Every time I got down, I put that before me. And worshiped.

Jesus is everything. Eyes on Him, not a mate. Eyes on what He desires.

He just reminded me - He delights in fulfilling your desires.

He loves you. Joy in His love. Rejoice in His love.

 

[CindyisHis]

Don't force it. Don't hurry it along. Focus on God; do God's work. Pray. Pray in tongues. Let the Holy Spirit guide you and when she comes along you will know it. You WILL know it.


One bit of advice: quit looking for a wife. Look for a friend. Loosen up and have fun. And before you know it one of those friends....

 

[dies-l]

Nothing wrong with "internet dating". That is how God blessed me with my wife.

 

[pdudgeon]

hello,

Ive grown up in a word of faith church, and always wanted to live a life of faith.
i believed 10 years ago that God wanted me to stay single, despite my prayer for a wife. i was in my early 30s, and thought it was time for me. I cried when i received this from God. I told Him NO! but later relented, in tears. However, it could have been right back then, maybe i wasnt ready and God was saving me from divorce. Since then, i have been to bible college, stayed active in the church, serving as much as i could. I've changed and matured.

Now, I've reached a crisis point. Im still single, but I feel now for the past year that I've been ready. However, I've had so many disappointments in finding someone, and feel like God has not given me a breakthrough moment. There was no eureka moment, when God said now is the time. Mostly, I feel like Im not even getting help from God, and Im on my own. I can admit I got it wrong, but why didnt God show me? I know the Bible, I pray every day, Im spirit filled, Im even on leadership teams. I have told people that God was told me to wait when they ask. I deserve nothing, but believe! I am a child of God.
I believe that God responds to faith. Do I wait until Im 50 or 60? Isnt that defeating the object?

I dont know how to go on. I have failed, my beliefs have failed. I believed that my obedience would pay off. I have waited 10 years, and now I am faced with finding a wife with internet dating, something I thought i would never do. My problem is that i thought God would either give me a wife, or tell me clearly to get on with it, and at least help me find her.

I am faced with extreme thoughts about my future, and my faith.

when you're talking marriage, you're talking about TWO people being ready, not just one.

you've spent the years getting yourself ready, but what have you been doing to get your potential wife ready? have you prayed to God on her behalf yet?

you might think that an odd question, but it's a serious one.
When you get a wife it will be your husbandly duty to pray in intercession on her behalf to God for her well being, and for her blessing. She will also be praying on her own behalf, but the prayer cover you give her is not to be underestimated or taken lightly.

you can follow Jesus' example in this as He prayed for the church, His future bride, long before the wedding. He prayed, knowing that the church would need His Father's guidance while growing and preparing to become the Bride of Christ.

check out John 17:21-25. the very first request that Jesus makes for his bride is that she be of one mind with Him and with the Father. Wouldn't you want that for your future wife? Then pray for her! if you interceed with the Father on behalf of others, then don't leave her out just because you don't have her yet.

the second thing that Jesus prays for in verse 24 is that his bride be with him so that she can see the glory of the Father in her Bridegroom.
Again, if she is your wife, don't you want her to behold the glory of God at work in you when she is with you? Then pray for her that God may open her eyes spiritually so that she can see the Glory of God at work in you, and that she be prepared by God to be ready to join you at the appropriate time.

and why put a time limit on God? After all, it is His time schedule we are all on, not our own.

God knows your needs, but He also knows the needs of your future bride.

 

[HolySpiritWOF]

it's not what you think precious brother.... it's not what you think.....
the fact that you are being severely attacked right now is a tactic of the enemy to let go of your confidence and faith and CONFESSION....

why would you be so severely attacked right now?....

because your breakthrough is near..... NOW..... very near....
you WERE NOT attacked like this 10... 5... 3 years ago.... you were standing in faith.... following GOD..... but now that you are ready to receive a wife.... now is when you are being severely attacked.....

don't you see how strange that is.... why now?..... because your breakthrough is very near right now.... don't let go of your confession of faith.... cancel and retract all your words that do not agree with GOD's WORD.... cancel and nulify every word.... renew your confessions right now.... the severe attack is a sign that your breakthrough is very near.... double up on your WORD meditation.... and your praying.... and double up on your confessions....

kcm said recently.... when the devil gets aggressive with you.... get aggressive back.... don't doubt GOD.... don't doubt yourself..... GOD is helping you.... the devil can see your breakthrough on the way.... that's why he is attacking you like this.... GOD is helping you.... don't look in the natural.... look in the SPIRIT.....

praying for you in agreement for your breakthrough.... if 2 agree..... get aggressive with this aggressive attack.... it's a tactic.... this attack is not a sign that you have failed.... it's a sign that your breakthrough is very near.... don't let the devil trick you by feelings and thoughts that CLEARLY do not line up with the WORD..... don't let him trick you into speaking his word over you..... reject the feelings.... reject the thoughts..... speak only GOD'S WORD over you.....

say....
GOD IS HELPING ME.... my breakthrough is very near..... my GOD SHALL supply ALL my needs according to HIS riches..... i believe because GOD put HIS faith into me..... the HOLY SPIRIT leads and guides me into ALL truth..... i only believe HIS WORD....

 

[andreha]

it's not what you think precious brother.... it's not what you think.....
the fact that you are being severely attacked right now is a tactic of the enemy to let go of your confidence and faith and CONFESSION....

why would you be so severely attacked right now?....

because your breakthrough is near..... NOW..... very near....
you WERE NOT attacked like this 10... 5... 3 years ago.... you were standing in faith.... following GOD..... but now that you are ready to receive a wife.... now is when you are being severely attacked.....

don't you see how strange that is.... why now?..... because your breakthrough is very near right now.... don't let go of your confession of faith.... cancel and retract all your words that do not agree with GOD's WORD.... cancel and nulify every word.... renew your confessions right now.... the severe attack is a sign that your breakthrough is very near.... double up on your WORD meditation.... and your praying.... and double up on your confessions....

kcm said recently.... when the devil gets aggressive with you.... get aggressive back.... don't doubt GOD.... don't doubt yourself..... GOD is helping you.... the devil can see your breakthrough on the way.... that's why he is attacking you like this.... GOD is helping you.... don't look in the natural.... look in the SPIRIT.....

praying for you in agreement for your breakthrough.... if 2 agree..... get aggressive with this aggressive attack.... it's a tactic.... this attack is not a sign that you have failed.... it's a sign that your breakthrough is very near.... don't let the devil trick you by feelings and thoughts that CLEARLY do not line up with the WORD..... don't let him trick you into speaking his word over you..... reject the feelings.... reject the thoughts..... speak only GOD'S WORD over you.....

say....
GOD IS HELPING ME.... my breakthrough is very near..... my GOD SHALL supply ALL my needs according to HIS riches..... i believe because GOD put HIS faith into me..... the HOLY SPIRIT leads and guides me into ALL truth..... i only believe HIS WORD....

I agree with you, in faith.

 

[HolySpiritWOF]

I agree with you, in faith.

yes.... in faith.... we are agreeing for good things for you.... we're standing with you mercyfollowsme..... you are not alone.... you are in the FATHER'S hand and in JESUS' hand (JN 10)..... and you are in our prayers..... believing with you.... your breakthrough is an inheritance item.... it IS yours..... it is only a matter of time..... the question is not "IF".... the question is "WHEN"...... and the answer is "SOON"..... as evidenced by the aggressive attack on your faith just recently.... hold to faith....

 

[CindyisHis]

I'm adding my agreement. A wife is your desire? This is your will? Then I agree. God Himself says it's a good thing.

 

[KM Richards]

i have waited 10 years, and failed

You only fail at the point in which you quit and choose to accept failure and defeat as being your lot in life....

So, if you are convinced you are a failure and you have decided to quit...then you will get what you are believing for.

This course of action is not recommended by God at all...He stands ready to help any person right there at the level they are at going forward, if they just won't give up on His involvement in their lives.

Draw close to the Father (your Daddy, go as a little child seeing your Daddy as being SO BIG...all problems pale in comparison...such as this one), and He'll draw close to you.

Move away from the Father....and it will seem as though He is moving away from you, even though He's not...He never changes, and He'll never quit having faith in you...

 

[HolySpiritWOF]

Nothing wrong with "internet dating". That is how God blessed me with my wife.

GOD can be in any kind of matchmaking..... the ot is full of arranged marriages.... strange to us here.... but GOD was in it.... at least for isaac and rebekah....

i know WOF christians that found their mate the internet-matchmaking way.... eharmony i think.... i'll try to find out..... and they are very happy..... it is how both of them were led by the HOLY SPIRIT.....

so really.... does it matter what method the HOLY SPIRIT uses in your case to give you a wife?..... NOTHING is impossible with GOD..... just ask HIM to lead you..... ask HIM to intervene if you accidentally get off track.... and then take the best steps in faith that you feel the HOLY SPIRIT is giving you..... GOD is FOR you.... ALL HIS plans for you are good.....

praying for you.... in faith....

 

[mercyfollowsme]

thank you for your encouragement. i will keep my peace as i think about your words.
however, i know God is good.

 

[HolySpiritWOF]

I'm adding my agreement. A wife is your desire? This is your will? Then I agree. God Himself says it's a good thing.

i agree on this.... a wife is a good thing.... that is the WORD.....

for a woman.... everyone shall have her mate.... that is the WORD...

for anyone..... GOD puts singles in families.... that is the WORD....

i LOVE HIS WORD and HIS loving generous comforting abundant provision promises......

 

[mercyfollowsme]

Thank you everyone, I agree with you all in faith! My God will supply all my needs
according to His riches in glory!

We agree on Earth, it shall be done by our Father in Heaven.

 

[andreha]

Amen

 

[andreha]

You know what, bro?

We have been childless, and in the 10th year, my wife fell pregnant. It happened a few weeks after realizing that I should pray, and ask the Lord for a child. Just don't ever give up, my friend.

 

[HolySpiritWOF]

Thank you everyone, I agree with you all in faith! My God will supply all my needs
according to His riches in glory!

We agree on Earth, it shall be done by our Father in Heaven.

amen.... we all agree here.... in JESUS' name....
GOD WILL supply ALL your needs according to HIS RICHES in GLORY....

i love that word glory..... it means heavy-laden perfection....

HE will meet all your needs according to HIS riches in heavy-laden perfection....

He has heavy-laden perfection for you.... your joy will be full at what HE has for you.....

 

[HolySpiritWOF]

You know what, bro?

We have been childless, and in the 10th year, my wife fell pregnant. It happened a few weeks after realizing that I should pray, and ask the Lord for a child. Just don't ever give up, my friend.

wow.... what an awesome testimony..... and really wouldn't you say that it was PROBABLY the HOLY SPIRIT that led you to pray and ask for a child?..... it felt like it was your idea..... but was it really?.....

aren't we often led by the HOLY SPIRIT more than we realize?....