Why do people still have so much hope for marriage?

[leothelioness]

Sorry to sound so negative, but this is something that I am absolutely confounded by. Watching my parents' marriage fall apart has really cemented my opinion of the whole thing.

What romantic notion does marriage hold for some people? Besides it being something that supposedly God wants, what importance and function does it hold and how is it better than, say, co-habitation? Hopefully y'all can shed some light on this.

 

[broken_one]

I think people like to hope that even in the midst of the 50% divorce rate and the horrible custody and alimony lawsuits, there is some sort of hope and ultimately some sort of intrinsic happiness and contentedness in marriage.

 

[Im_A]

No one should. Marriage is not an entity to put hope and trust in.

If one wants to have hope with marriage, better start putting hope in oneself and the person you are with.

 

[leothelioness]

I agree with both of you.

 

[leothelioness]

Maybe some of the more marriage-minded folks could contribute? lol

 

[iambren]

It is a marvel, almost magical that people long to be intimately bound to their soulmate. A secularist would say this is procreative potential to pass on DNA. I see it as something mystically created in the garden, a oneness to enjoy, even if some loser/gardeners have gone there.

 

[Im_A]

It is a marvel, almost magical that people long to be intimately bound to their soulmate. A secularist would say this is procreative potential to pass on DNA. I see it as something mystically created in the garden, a oneness to enjoy, even if some loser/gardeners have gone there.

Well, maybe it is just me, but as the secular, non-believing, godless man that I am, I just succumb to the fact that I can't understand everything about human existence and why in the world I would want to spend my life with just anyone when there millions of other possibilities out there to experience that with.

Others apply religious terms, mystical terms, spiritual terms, 'godly' terms. I don't. I just hope I do get to experience something I don't understand why that I want. If it was ONLY for DNA, then I would personally go the other route and just spread my seed to anyone who would say yes to spread their legs or anyone willing to walk down the isle easily and then divorce easily.

 

[PassionFruit]

It is a marvel, almost magical that people long to be intimately bound to their soulmate. A secularist would say this is procreative potential to pass on DNA. I see it as something mystically created in the garden, a oneness to enjoy, even if some loser/gardeners have gone there.

As secularist, if I viewed marriage as just a way to pass DNA then I wouldn't be a supporter of gay marriage. I pretty much the same as Im_A says, if it's just that then there would be no need for the institution of marriage.

 

[Blank123]

Marriage is ordained by God, so i think it makes perfect sense especially for His people to desire marriage. For me... I want to have the most intimate form of fellowship that one believer can have with another, and marriage is really just that; a lifelong covenant with one another that amounts to the deepest form of fellowship possible this side of heaven. At least thats the ideal. Sin enters and corrupts God's design, but that doesn't mean that marriage itself is corrupted or oldhat and something we should stay away from. It depends entirely on the two people involved what becomes of that relationship. Yet another good reason not to rush into marriage IMHO.

 

[leothelioness]

If you make a commitment to each other and God, but don't have a license or exchange rings, is that still a marriage? I believe so. I don't think the government needs to recognise it for it to be a marriage.

 

[Blank123]

If you make a commitment to each other and God, but don't have a license or exchange rings, is that still a marriage? I believe so. I don't think the government needs to recognise it for it to be a marriage.

I s'ppose it depends on the culture. Marriage doesn't have government involvement in every culture or country in the world, its what the culture has decided is marriage. In North America there are two ways to get married: the official ceremony and license deal and cohabitation after a certain length of time that the government has decided consitutes a marriage. So really there's no getting around getting married if you choose to start a life with someone. And there's no way to keep the government out. Unless you totally drop off the grid or something.


but the difference is that in a marriage ceremony... at least for Christians, is you're standing up before God and witness and making a covenant with one another and with God that is lifelong. Moving in with someone simply gives you an out if you decide its not working. You may tell eachother you're in it for life, but you do not have that same binding covenant.


But really... if the lifelong commitment is there and agreed upon by both people, whats to be afraid of by making it official and getting married? Isn't the avoidance of marriage really a fear of commitment itself? I'm not sure how you can have a lifelong relationship with someone unless you have that commitment.

 

[K9_Trainer]

It is a marvel, almost magical that people long to be intimately bound to their soulmate. A secularist would say this is procreative potential to pass on DNA. I see it as something mystically created in the garden, a oneness to enjoy, even if some loser/gardeners have gone there.

If it was all about passing on DNA, then marriage wouldn't exist. Very few mammals are monogamous because its not advantageous to having as many babies as possible.

 

[GoodNewsJim]

I only want marriage because I'm a very faithful person. I couldn't stand to cheat on my wife. So it is only fair she wouldn't cheat on me.

That and marriage is a God ordained thing. I'll love to be walking down the altar with my wife.

Finally, why raise kids if you don't have both parents.

 

[Sketcher]

Simple cohabitation doesn't have a life-long commitment or any semblance of public accountability, unlike marriage. Small wonder why abuse and separation is so much more common for cohabitants than for married couples.

Anyway, I'm the kind of person who prefers the benefits of being single to the risks of a relationship, and marriage is a life-long relationship. I'd like to get married someday, but I'm not in a hurry, because hurrying is no good. I like to do things my way. But sometimes, I wish I had someone to come home to. Yeah, a dog will be happy to see you, but dogs can't really laugh with you. And seriously, why go through the pain of changing one live-in girlfriend for another? Better to have someone who's with you for life.

 

[Touma]

It has been 15 years and my parents are still battling in court. I have seen so much anger, hate, and pain these past 15 years....and this makes me want to be married all the more. I realize the importance of a strong, healthy marriage, based on godly principles. And most of all, it is built on a true love. Not a love that says "I love you because you are this way" or "I love the way you make me feel" but a love that says "I Love you despite". I want to give hope to others, to show them that true love is possible and marriage is worth the trials and struggles.

 

[Thunder Peel]

For me it's just about having someone to love and support the way Christ does the church. To be honest, I don't really if she's unfaithful or anything like that just as long as I could have the chance to love her. I want want her to be happy and feel fulfilled everything she does

Of course, then I got called to singleness and it really threw me for a loop. Seeing great couples is a rare but beautiful thing in this day and age.

 

[Lord Herdsetk]

I don't have hope in marriage, I just hope that I meet a woman who wants to make it work as much as I do.

Marriage is like a vehicle you know, its awesome when its running like its supposed to, but sometimes it'll break down. It then takes you or someone you know to fix the vehicle to get it working again. If neither me or my future wife want to learn how to fix a marriage when its starting to break down, we're already in trouble.

 

[leothelioness]

I really like that analogy, Herdsetk.

 

[SullivanZ]

I think it's romance. I'm like a hopeless romantic myself. Not ALL marriages wind up badly, though many do. I think people like the idea that there's someone special out there for them, whether or not it's true. At least it gives people hope and something to look forward to, to get them through the day.

 

[leothelioness]

I agree, Sullivan. I think people are enamored with the idea of marriage, but they find the reality of it much different. Walt Disney probably has something to with it as well. lol