Story 1
4 Kings 2:
[23] And he (Elijah) went up from thence to Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, little boys came out of the city and mocked him, saying: Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
[24] And looking back, he saw them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord: and there came forth two bears out of the forest, and tore of them two and forty boys.
Moral of the story:
Don't make fun of bald people.
Story 2
Mark 11:
[12] And the next day when they came out from Bethania, he was hungry. [13] And when he had seen afar off a fig tree having leaves, he came if perhaps he might find any thing on it. And when he was come to it, he found nothing but leaves. For it was not the time for figs.
[14] And answering he said to it: May no man hereafter eat fruit of thee any more for ever. And his disciples heard it.
Matthew 21
[18] And in the morning, returning into the city, he (Jesus) was hungry.
[19] And seeing a certain fig tree by the way side, he came to it, and found nothing on it but leaves only, and he saith to it: May no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And immediately the fig tree withered away.]
Moral of the story
Even an inanimate plant can't escape the curses and wrath of the Son of God
Story 3
Genesis 38
[8] Juda, therefore said to Onan his son: Go in to thy brother's wife and marry her, that thou mayst raise seed to thy brother.
[9] He knowing that the children should not be his, when he went in to his brother's wife, spilled his seed upon the ground, lest children should be born in his brother's name.
[10] And therefore the Lord slew him, because he did a detestable thing
Moral of the Story
In the words of Monty Python, Every sperm is sacred
Story 4
Numbers 22
[28] And the Lord opened the mouth of the ass, and she said: What have I done to thee? Why strikest thou me, lo, now this third time?
[29] Balaam answered: Because thou hast deserved it, and hast served me ill: I would I had a sword that I might kill thee.
[30] The ass said: Am not I thy beast, on which thou hast been always accustomed to ride until this present day? tell me if I ever did the like thing to thee. But he said: Never.
[28] "Opened the mouth"... The angel moved the tongue of the ass, to utter these speeches, to rebuke, by the mouth of a brute beast, the brutal fury and folly of Balaam.
Moral of the story
Read the Bible to get inspiration for creating funny 3D animated movie characters (i.e. the talking Donkey from Shrek)
4 Kings 2:
[23] And he (Elijah) went up from thence to Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, little boys came out of the city and mocked him, saying: Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.
[24] And looking back, he saw them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord: and there came forth two bears out of the forest, and tore of them two and forty boys.
Moral of the story:
Don't make fun of bald people.
Story 2
Mark 11:
[12] And the next day when they came out from Bethania, he was hungry. [13] And when he had seen afar off a fig tree having leaves, he came if perhaps he might find any thing on it. And when he was come to it, he found nothing but leaves. For it was not the time for figs.
[14] And answering he said to it: May no man hereafter eat fruit of thee any more for ever. And his disciples heard it.
Matthew 21
[18] And in the morning, returning into the city, he (Jesus) was hungry.
[19] And seeing a certain fig tree by the way side, he came to it, and found nothing on it but leaves only, and he saith to it: May no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And immediately the fig tree withered away.]
Moral of the story
Even an inanimate plant can't escape the curses and wrath of the Son of God
Story 3
Genesis 38
[8] Juda, therefore said to Onan his son: Go in to thy brother's wife and marry her, that thou mayst raise seed to thy brother.
[9] He knowing that the children should not be his, when he went in to his brother's wife, spilled his seed upon the ground, lest children should be born in his brother's name.
[10] And therefore the Lord slew him, because he did a detestable thing
Moral of the Story
In the words of Monty Python, Every sperm is sacred
Story 4
Numbers 22
[28] And the Lord opened the mouth of the ass, and she said: What have I done to thee? Why strikest thou me, lo, now this third time?
[29] Balaam answered: Because thou hast deserved it, and hast served me ill: I would I had a sword that I might kill thee.
[30] The ass said: Am not I thy beast, on which thou hast been always accustomed to ride until this present day? tell me if I ever did the like thing to thee. But he said: Never.
[28] "Opened the mouth"... The angel moved the tongue of the ass, to utter these speeches, to rebuke, by the mouth of a brute beast, the brutal fury and folly of Balaam.
Moral of the story
Read the Bible to get inspiration for creating funny 3D animated movie characters (i.e. the talking Donkey from Shrek)