I didn't go to church this morning..........

[R.A.IN]

It's not the first Sunday I've skipped. I was terrified to get in the shower which made me not want to go to church and face the crowd all stinky. I think this is the third Sunday in a row I've missed. I really wanted to go because it's the first Sunday of Advent. I want to go to the Hanging of the Greens supper/celebration tonight, but I still haven't faced the terror of the shower so I'm not sure how I'm going to face the crowd.

How do you cope?
How do you not beat yourself up for not going in the first place?

 

[замученный]

Have you tried that stuff they give you in the hospital? It's like a powder you can put on instead of taking a shower.

Don't beat yourself up over it. Next time, make an effort to conquer your fear. If you still can't do it, at least give yourself credit for trying. And obviously, praying for courage is always a great idea. :]

 

[R.A.IN]

I think a large part of my problem is that I get claustrophobia (spelling?) and my shower is a 4'x4' stall. Also, I have vertigo and I get dizzy when I'm in there. I never thought about the stuff they use at the hospitals.

 

[Mayflower1]

I use to have the same problem. I got an accountability partner, which may sound odd at first. But maybe if you have your mom, sister, close friend, they could just sit in there with you, or even just sit by the door and talk with you, or even read the Bible out loud. It really helped me. I showered very little before coming in to TC.

 

[R.A.IN]

I showered very little before coming in to TC.

What is TC?

 

[Mayflower1]

TC is Teen Challenge. it is a 13 month faith-based discipleship program for men, women, and teenagers who struggle with life-controlling issues. Mine was self-injury, depression, and abuse. I graduated October 6th, and now work as a missionary here (praise and worship leader, intern, music director, various things for students here).

 

[R.A.IN]

Thank you for the explanation. I'm glad you were able to move beyond all of that.

 

[AngelicRose]

When I'm feeling stressed out and just blah feeling, I get a hot bubble bath going. I'm not sure if you could do something like that since you didn't say if your shower had a tub.

Also, I'll sometimes make either a written checklist or mental checklist of what I have to do to take care of myself or complete by the end of the day. If I do complete all of those tasks, I get some kind of special reward I actually find it helpful for me to have a list so I can focus on the tasks and not on the anxiety.

 

[R.A.IN]

I don't have a working bathtub. If I did, I'd be soaking in it right now. I have a horrible cold. I won't be going to church tomorrow because of my cold.

 

[AngelicRose]

I avoid church when I'm sick as well-- I have worries that I'll end up giving my cold to a sweet old lady (there are many of them at my church) and she'll get really sick. What I do instead is that I watch Mass online-- I find it a blessing to be able to still go through the motions while in my pjs and cuddled into bed.

Have you found some online programming you can watch when you can't attend? I'm not sure what type of Christian you are, but I know it's becoming very popular with Catholics and Protestants.

 

[R.A.IN]

Sometimes I'll watch a sermon online from a church that I went to as a teen (back in the '80s.) I'm a protestant and am married to a former Catholic.

 

[AngelicRose]

As long as you're taking some baby steps--- that is much better than continuously falling back. A sermon online can be very uplifting Were you able to go to church today?

I almost didn't go to Mass today, but I decided to set a good example for my boyfriend (who's converting) and go with him. I just felt tired and blah.

 

[R.A.IN]

I didn't even try to go to church. I haven't been up to doing anything online today either.

 

[AngelicRose]

Hope you're feeling more up to doing faithful things

My boyfriend's parents gave me a great book that I'm reading now: Mother Angelica's Private and Pithy Lessons from the Scriptures. Mother Angelica is a famous nun who started the EWTN Catholic TV station. What she writes makes the scriptures very personal and not like "dead" historical stories. It's been making me want to open my Bible more often.

 

[R.A.IN]

I'm trying to work up the courage to go. My husband is off today and he is already at church. He will be so disappointed if I don't show up.

 

[AngelicRose]

I'm trying to work up the courage to go. My husband is off today and he is already at church. He will be so disappointed if I don't show up.

I hope you were able to make into church today--- I'm sure your husband wouldn't be disappointed if you didn't but would miss your presence. Now that I've been going to Mass with Sean (my boyfriend) for the last few weeks, I'm enjoying my time there instead of worrying about if I'm doing everything correctly.

I decided to do the Bible readings for today's Mass last night and see how my priest might make a connection between them (it's always one reading from the Old Testament, one from the New Testament/Non-Gospels, and one reading from the Gospels). It's just something fun I came up with and it makes me want to attend Mass (among other reasons) to see what the priest will say.

 

[R.A.IN]

I have a son named Sean.

My husband would've been disappointed if I didn't go. He totally doesn't understand panic attacks. I did have a panic attack. I stayed at church, in my seat, crying and shaking. I stayed because my husband and several friends were sharing about how much God has blessed them this year. I didn't want to stay, but I felt that it would be hard for people to understand if I ran out of the room while they were sharing.

 

[hope_is_last_to_die]

I wasnt able to go to church this morning, just too too difficult Thankfully I was able to watch an online church service and was really blessed by it When I have been able to go to church it takes so much effort to try and contain the panic disorder. I get tired of having to do this, I just want to be able to go and relax and enjoy being there.

 

[R.A.IN]

I didn't go to church today either. I wanted to and probably wouldn't have had panic problem. However, we have a lot of seniors in our church and I have a cold. I didn't want to take a chance on infecting any of them.