Bipolar Creative Writing and art

[Jeshu]

I urge governments across the world to take caring for sick people much more serious than they do.


What grief have mentally ill people carried over the years? That terrible burden, to be disregarded, unheeded, deemed to be in need of correction and containment?

I don't want to knock any caring or loving person working within mental health, because I have also met good people, but this are the complains in my heart against the system set-up supposedly to help me.


Let me begin by saying, I tried to be open and honest when I first met up with mental health, yet they simply threw me in the paddy wagon, and declared me mad and drugged me out. This is how it was in the beginning, this is how it went in The End.

• How deeply has it hurt me to look at seemingly concerned faces, totally unconcerned about my welfare, but charged with looking after me?

• What agony the smiles of those nurses and their interest in what was going on, just so more rules could made and any the offending parties be isolated?

• How many of us have freaked at that red eye of that bloody camera, spying on our every move? Nowhere safety to hide, no mercy on us who must be as we are shaped by our illness. Instead locked-up treated like animals? Numbered and all? With no respect whatsoever for the suffering caused by our mental delusions?

• How deep goes the pain of being ignored when in greatest distress, crying out for help after 5 p.m, with no one to care but a soulless voice on the answering machine. While help was so essential and the pain so deep?

• How deep does the pain go? When they blame you for your agony, and cold heartedly try and rob you of the little good you still have? Time and again! Or try and convince you to take another concoction that drives you insane after just a few days? And then promptly convince you to try the next round of misery, and after all their remedies fail - seven years of misery - they coldly look you in the eye and say - it is all your fault.

For this is how my experience with mental health has been, sadly so.

 

[lmarie23]

I've been having fun writing humorous short stories lately. Hope you enjoy this one! I wrote another that I really like too but it's significantly longer.

Survival of the Physicists
by Lynne


November 1, 2009

Some years ago, a group of scientists sequestered themselves on a small island off the coast of Newfoundland so that they could attempt to formulate an addendum to Einstein’s theory of relativity. As they absorbed themselves in equations and thorough analysis of the data they had individually collected through years of study, they failed to notice that their boat had floated away…

The scientists came together to assess their situation and plan appropriate action. Since none of them could swim and none had cell phone reception, escaping the island did not seem an immediate possibility. They decided to formulate a plan for survival on the island. They divided up. One group drew blueprints for creating optimal structures to live in, conducting a thorough search of the island for various types of trees and assessing the best choices. Another group listed the various nutritional options available and analyzed which would create a balanced diet and provide them the proper nutrients. A last group worked on a method to filter the available water so that it would be safe for drinking.

For a while, the scientists hoped to be rescued. They took turns taking posts watching the water on the ocean’s edge, so that they would not miss any approaching boats. Eventually, however, as the years passed, they monitored the ocean less and less frequently. They wanted to propagate their community so they together decided which people should mate in order to produce children with advantageous traits.

Sometimes they wished that they had spent more time building relationships back on the mainland, so that they would have loved ones who would have come to search for them long ago. Eventually, though, they came to accept their fate and find stability in their new way of life.

After a quarter century had passed, and the scientists had formed an elaborate system of aqueducts to irrigate the land, on which they had planted orchards and vegetable gardens; and developed an elaborate democratic system of government; the unthinkable happened, a ship passed nearby and happened to notice what appeared to be a Christian Scientist church on the island. Bewildered yet very intrigued, the ship docked. The sailors were amazed to find the developing civilization. When invited to board the ship, the scientists hesitated for a minute. They had found contentment in their new village and could hardly remember their old way of life. Nonetheless, they decided that the optimal course of action was to board the ship and rejoin the rest of civilization.

Hence this motley group of scientists (although organized in efficient familial units), came to live in New York City. The city overwhelmed them, especially the younger generation, although their elders had been telling stories of it for the past decades. They set up a commune so that they could continue their discovered method of optimal living. But the younger generation wanted more.

Young Cosine learned of a scientific method to find a mate termed “Eharmony” and wrote a profile explaining how he had the optimal genes to pass on to his young. Somehow, this failed to generate positive results.

Parabola learned of a system called “speed dating” and decided it was most efficient, as she could interview the largest number of potential mates in the shortest amount of time. However, her attempts to convince these potential mates that she was best suited as a mate because she would produce children with similar intelligence and critical thinking ability to herself, as well as pass on her attractive physical characteristics… fell short.

Dedicated young Variable studied which occupations had the highest proportion of women, and hence the highest opportunity to find romance with a coworker. He found that nursing was thus a desirable occupation and enrolled in nursing school, graduating with honors. But somehow his efforts to begin romance fell short. The nurses wanted to separate their work life from their personal life, and other women seemed to have difficulty viewing a male nurse as an attractive mate. When they laughed at his choice of a stereotypically feminine profession, he replied in confusion, “But I have normal levels of testosterone and possess all the masculine characteristics of other men.” Yet they seemed unconvinced and, laughing, would make excuses and wander off.

Hypothesis discovered these magical self-help books, and followed their instructions perfectly. When she became nervous at approaching a member of the opposite sex, she would respond using her memorized responses from the book. When they failed to generate her hoped-for results, she would be confused and defend them with the principles of the book and explain why they should be effective.

Proton seemed particularly confused. Watching the failure of his comrades, he wandered the streets, feeling lost. One night he felt drawn to a tall building with the windows glowing with fluorescent lights. Feeling compelled by an unknown force, he approached the building and nervously opened the door. Inside, he found a female bent over a microscope. He casually inquired as to the nature of her study, and she explained how she was working on a thesis statement on the unique characteristics of singular-celled organisms. It was love at first hypothesis. Her speech fell like sweet music on his ears. He had to restrain his tongue to keep himself from immediately proposing a harmonious union. Seeing the failure of his friends, he tried to proceed at a slower pace. Over the following weeks, Proton spent more and more time with this graduate student, Elizabeth, helping her with her research. They spent many romantic evenings at the campus laboratory poring over their findings, and she looked at him adoringly when he found flaws in her sequence of equations or suggested alternative possibilities. It was inevitable; they fell in love, and 6 months, 8 days, and 32.5 minutes since the moment of their first meeting, they were married. After a lovely ceremony in the campus planetarium, Proton happily moved in with Elizabeth and pursued college work in microbiology.

Following Proton’s success, the other young scientists proceeded in a similar fashion, eventually finding mates of their own, although intimacy was difficult at times. It was an uphill battle, but they persevered, and prided themselves on their ability to excel in both the uncivilized island and the urban jungle…

 

[Jeshu]

I've been having fun writing humorous short stories lately. Hope you enjoy this one! I wrote another that I really like too but it's significantly longer.

Survival of the Physicists
by Lynne


November 1, 2009

Some years ago, a group of scientists sequestered themselves on a small island off the coast of Newfoundland so that they could attempt to formulate an addendum to Einstein’s theory of relativity. As they absorbed themselves in equations and thorough analysis of the data they had individually collected through years of study, they failed to notice that their boat had floated away…

The scientists came together to assess their situation and plan appropriate action. Since none of them could swim and none had cell phone reception, escaping the island did not seem an immediate possibility. They decided to formulate a plan for survival on the island. They divided up. One group drew blueprints for creating optimal structures to live in, conducting a thorough search of the island for various types of trees and assessing the best choices. Another group listed the various nutritional options available and analyzed which would create a balanced diet and provide them the proper nutrients. A last group worked on a method to filter the available water so that it would be safe for drinking.

For a while, the scientists hoped to be rescued. They took turns taking posts watching the water on the ocean’s edge, so that they would not miss any approaching boats. Eventually, however, as the years passed, they monitored the ocean less and less frequently. They wanted to propagate their community so they together decided which people should mate in order to produce children with advantageous traits.

Sometimes they wished that they had spent more time building relationships back on the mainland, so that they would have loved ones who would have come to search for them long ago. Eventually, though, they came to accept their fate and find stability in their new way of life.

After a quarter century had passed, and the scientists had formed an elaborate system of aqueducts to irrigate the land, on which they had planted orchards and vegetable gardens; and developed an elaborate democratic system of government; the unthinkable happened, a ship passed nearby and happened to notice what appeared to be a Christian Scientist church on the island. Bewildered yet very intrigued, the ship docked. The sailors were amazed to find the developing civilization. When invited to board the ship, the scientists hesitated for a minute. They had found contentment in their new village and could hardly remember their old way of life. Nonetheless, they decided that the optimal course of action was to board the ship and rejoin the rest of civilization.

Hence this motley group of scientists (although organized in efficient familial units), came to live in New York City. The city overwhelmed them, especially the younger generation, although their elders had been telling stories of it for the past decades. They set up a commune so that they could continue their discovered method of optimal living. But the younger generation wanted more.

Young Cosine learned of a scientific method to find a mate termed “Eharmony” and wrote a profile explaining how he had the optimal genes to pass on to his young. Somehow, this failed to generate positive results.

Parabola learned of a system called “speed dating” and decided it was most efficient, as she could interview the largest number of potential mates in the shortest amount of time. However, her attempts to convince these potential mates that she was best suited as a mate because she would produce children with similar intelligence and critical thinking ability to herself, as well as pass on her attractive physical characteristics… fell short.

Dedicated young Variable studied which occupations had the highest proportion of women, and hence the highest opportunity to find romance with a coworker. He found that nursing was thus a desirable occupation and enrolled in nursing school, graduating with honors. But somehow his efforts to begin romance fell short. The nurses wanted to separate their work life from their personal life, and other women seemed to have difficulty viewing a male nurse as an attractive mate. When they laughed at his choice of a stereotypically feminine profession, he replied in confusion, “But I have normal levels of testosterone and possess all the masculine characteristics of other men.” Yet they seemed unconvinced and, laughing, would make excuses and wander off.

Hypothesis discovered these magical self-help books, and followed their instructions perfectly. When she became nervous at approaching a member of the opposite sex, she would respond using her memorized responses from the book. When they failed to generate her hoped-for results, she would be confused and defend them with the principles of the book and explain why they should be effective.

Proton seemed particularly confused. Watching the failure of his comrades, he wandered the streets, feeling lost. One night he felt drawn to a tall building with the windows glowing with fluorescent lights. Feeling compelled by an unknown force, he approached the building and nervously opened the door. Inside, he found a female bent over a microscope. He casually inquired as to the nature of her study, and she explained how she was working on a thesis statement on the unique characteristics of singular-celled organisms. It was love at first hypothesis. Her speech fell like sweet music on his ears. He had to restrain his tongue to keep himself from immediately proposing a harmonious union. Seeing the failure of his friends, he tried to proceed at a slower pace. Over the following weeks, Proton spent more and more time with this graduate student, Elizabeth, helping her with her research. They spent many romantic evenings at the campus laboratory poring over their findings, and she looked at him adoringly when he found flaws in her sequence of equations or suggested alternative possibilities. It was inevitable; they fell in love, and 6 months, 8 days, and 32.5 minutes since the moment of their first meeting, they were married. After a lovely ceremony in the campus planetarium, Proton happily moved in with Elizabeth and pursued college work in microbiology.

Following Proton’s success, the other young scientists proceeded in a similar fashion, eventually finding mates of their own, although intimacy was difficult at times. It was an uphill battle, but they persevered, and prided themselves on their ability to excel in both the uncivilized island and the urban jungle…

Oh Lynne you pulled it off for me, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Thank you.

The positive atom proposed to the negative protons lets spin out together and watch the reaction.

 

[lmarie23]

When Math and Art Collide… by Lynne

Dedicated to my mother Anne, professor of mathematics, and my father Jim, professor of statistics

Once upon a time there was a set of twins who could not be more different. Their parents, likewise, were opposites. Eric was a statistics professor at Ohio State, who had attained a decent amount of respect in his community with the publication of his last textbook, being used at a steadily increasing number of universities. Flora was a free spirit – a potter and weaver who would spontaneously leave the house and hitchhike around the country, sleeping under the stars and deriving new inspiration from her experiences. They were very different, but they were happy together, and both independent enough that they felt free to pursue their passions.
When the couple learned that Flora was pregnant with twins, Eric proposed that they could each name one. Eric named the one girl Darcy, a solid, sensible name, while Flora named the other Daisy. Both hoped that they would have a daughter follow in their footsteps.

Each parent’s wish would come to fruition. But it was Daisy who had the scientific aptitude while Darcy was a natural artist. When it came time for them to start school, Daisy became very anxious about impressing her classmates. She beseeched her dad to buy her a suit to wear on the first day of school. He, bemused, acquiesced, and she was perhaps the first child to show up on the first day of kindergarten wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase. While the other children built towers of blocks and colored with crayons, Daisy caught butterflies and carefully dissected them so she could study them. Darcy, on the other hand, frustrated her teacher because her creativity could not be contained. She colored all over the walls and stole her teacher’s permanent markers so she could tattoo her arms and legs as well.

As the girls grew up, they each found their own voice. Tired of their “twin” names, Daisy insisted to be called D (isn’t it easiest to reduce my name to a variable?), and Darcy went by Dada (after all, it is my favorite movement!). They became increasingly competitive and resentful of each other, constantly ridiculing each other. They put a line of masking tape down the center of their room so they could each have their own space. When it came time to go to school, they also wanted to be as distant as possible from each other. D enrolled at Columbia to study math like her father, while Dada went to study art at liberal Reed College in Portland, Oregon. Both girls flourished in college, happy to finally be around like-minded people. Yet home on summer vacation, they fought more bitterly than ever, ridiculing each other incessantly.

During one particularly intense fight, D accused Dada of studying art because it was “easy” and “nonacademic” and she couldn’t handle serious studies.

Dada’s eyes narrowed. She glared at her sister. “D, you have no idea how challenging art is to pursue! I bet you couldn’t last one day in my program. You would flunk out immediately because you have no creativity and no ability to think outside the box. I may seem a bit spacey at times, but at least I’m not a square!”

D angrily retorted, “I’m not a square, but I do know what a square is! I bet you couldn’t even draw one; you’ve never drawn a straight line or followed a straight path in your life! You would immediately fail in my math program. I bet you would freeze on the first request to ‘find x’ and just leave, completely bewildered.”

Dada challenged, “Well, if you’re so certain, why don’t you try it? Take an art class in school so I can sit back and laugh while you fail miserably…”

D: “Piece of cake! And you should try a math class – but wait, do they even have math classes at that hippie college you go to? Maybe you can take remedial addition. But I’m sure you couldn’t even pass that.”
At this point, tempers were flaring dangerously.

Dada: “Well, if we’re going to challenge each other, why don’t we go all the way? Don’t just try to take a wimpy art class at that prissy college of yours, but come on out to Portland! Take a semester away from Columbia and prove that you can do just as well as me, if not better!”

D was surprised, but felt she couldn’t back down at that point. “Ok, fine. But then you have to come study math at Columbia. Anything I do in Portland will be impressive compared to your certain failure.”

Still fuming, the twins returned to the defined halves of their room, even closing the dividing curtain they had constructed a few weeks prior. Each girl was a bit confused at how she could have made such a serious commitment. But both were too stubborn and proud to back down at that point.

Feeling a bit less certain, they both enrolled in each other’s colleges as transient students. They then travelled to begin the fall semester that would certainly stretch them out of their comfort zone.

At first it was, frankly, a disaster for both girls. D didn’t have the needed art supplies but couldn’t justify spending all the money on frivolous items that she would never need again. So she improvised. She showed up on the first day of drawing class with a pad of graph paper and a supply of ballpoint pens and mechanical pencils. The professor frowned but when D started to hedge about money the professor didn’t press it – just another starving artist…

Dada grudgingly realized she needed to buy a calculator for class. But the TI-83 calculators that the professor required were so ugly! So she bought a pretty powder blue jumbo calculator from the school supply section… Unfortunately it didn’t seem to do graphs.

The semester progressed… D’s drawing professor was frustrated with how she would take a ruler and measure the items in the still life, adjust the ratios to the size of the paper, and reduce them to geometric forms so that she could use equations and graph paper to reproduce the image in perfect scale. In painting, D calculated the precise ratios of different primary colors of paint to create the appropriate shades or tones in her subject. She then measured paint in test tubes as she poured it out so that she could consistently duplicate those colors. In Photography, she was confused when the professor explained how good photos do not have the focal point centered in the frame. Despite his advice, she took all of her pictures of objects straight on and centered. He eventually gave up on directing her.

Dada’s favorite part of her math classes was graphing. While the other students drew humble graphs on graph paper with mechanical pencils, she drew them on a large scale with multi-colored pens. Once she got a little carried away and painted them. Once she got really carried away and made the graph into an abstract painting, using a splatter technique and collage elements on canvas. Her professor was dumbfounded. In her geometry class, she found it impossible to deduct logical proofs, so she wrote stories, longhand, that creatively explained how the variables changed. Thinking of her sister whose name was D, she wrote stories about a love triangle between X, Y, and Z, and how X and Y were an older couple and Z was a younger woman, so accordingly the values were their ages: 39, 41, and 25. Dada thought to herself, Hey, this isn’t so bad! I just need to exercise all of my creativity to enjoy these classes, but I certainly am.

The weeks went by, and soon midterm grades came out. D was shocked to read that she was failing, when she had never gotten below a B on any assignment previously. She went to her professors, confident that they had made a mistake in calculating the grades (they were only artists, after all). But the grades checked out. D simply couldn’t have her sister know she was failing, when she had said all those things about how art was so easy… She knew that she would have to find some way to pull her grades up.

Dada also received her grades. All F’s? She was shocked. She thought her creativity in her classes showed that she went above and beyond the assignment, not failed to meet its standard. She was bewildered for a moment, but then realized that she couldn’t back down now, and had to pour herself into her work and prove to her sister that she could do well in this situation. If she worked very diligently, she was confident that she could bring her grades up at least to a passing level.

D decided she needed to take a different approach to her studies. She grudgingly began to listen to the advice and guidance of her professors. It made her nervous, but she began to take risks, in drawing freehand and mixing up paints out of her own intuition and growing understanding of the color wheel. She even began to experiment a little more with her photography, trying asymmetrical compositions and new perspectives. She never completely conformed, though. She still drew using very geometric forms. In Art History, they came to Modern Art and D discovered cubism. Her eyes widened – how beautiful! She went to the library and checked out several books on cubism, following its inspiration in her work. She even went to the local art museum to see some of the pieces in real life. In painting, D still liked to use flat shades of color, instead of gradations of color and tone. Yet she found how to make that work for her, discovering modern artists who painted similarly and finding her technique similar to cubism’s philosophy. During her study of modern art, she was inspired by another artist: Andy Warhol. His artistic technique completely resonated with her. Drawing from his inspiration, she created grids of identical photographs of an object or portrait, experimenting with form although using simple photos in the style she had originally used. She grew excited at all the possibilities she was discovering to express her unique perspective.

Dada, on the other hand, didn’t see how she could ever adjust to the demands of her classes. Nonetheless, she pressed on. She stayed up late nights poring over her textbooks, staggering to classes the next day in her pajamas, with dark circles under her eyes. Yet she was determined to succeed. There was no way she would let D win at their little game! One morning, she overslept her alarm and ran to class. Just as she approached the doors, they opened and she collided with a classmate. Books went flying everywhere and she bent to pick them up, apologizing profusely. She grabbed his books: Calculus II. Analytic Geometry. Differential Equations.
Dada looked up. “You must be a math major – are you a senior?

He nodded and grinned. “Yeah. Are you a math major too?”

“Um, kinda… hey, do you tutor?”

“Well, as a matter of fact, I do.”

“When can we start?”

He blinked. “Well, you cut right to the point, don’t you? Um, how about tomorrow afternoon? Does that work for you?”

Now she smiled. “Perfect. It’s a date.”

Over the next few weeks, Dada and her new tutor, Brian, spent more and more time together. Their tutoring arrangement developed into a close friendship and then a relationship. Dada was eager to absorb the mathematical concepts if she could learn while gazing deeply into Brian’s blue-gray eyes. After they studied, she taught him guitar, which he had always longed to learn. After particularly late study sessions, Dada would smile impishly, grab his hand, and pull him outside. They ran up the hill on the edge of campus and collapsed in the grass, laughing as they caught their breath. Brian ran his fingers through her auburn curls as she told him stories of the mythological constellations shining above.

Dada’s grades began to improve. She found that her creativity especially helped her solve word problems. And she still enjoyed graphs, even though she now limited herself to normal ones in pencil on graph paper. She gave in and bought a TI-83. She found that with dedicated, serious work she could do well in her classes. She made up a few exams which helped as well. At the end of the semester, her grade was a B.

The twins returned home for Christmas, each extremely curious how the other had fared. Dada, eager to display her aptitude, reached in her backpack and pulled out her final Calculus exam, tossing it at D. D could hardly believe her eyes: a perfect grade, with elegantly executed proofs and beautiful graphs. At a loss for words, she simply reached in her portfolio and pulled out a canvas, handing it to her sister.

“What…what is this?”

“This is my interpretation of ‘The Birth of Venus’ from a Cubist perspective. I entered in the winter art show and it placed first.”

Now both sisters were at a loss for words.

“How did you-“

“When did-”

They realized they had a lot of catching up to do, as they stared at each other, wide-eyed.

Dada broke the silence. She grinned. “Sounds like we have a lot to talk about… let’s go up to our room and share our stories…”

[to be continued below....]

 

[lmarie23]

[continued from above]

D smiled too and nodded. They went upstairs and talked excitedly most of the night. The curtain was taken down. Finally, as their eyes kept closing and they could hardly speak amidst their yawns, the girls settled into their beds and quickly fell asleep.

The next morning, as they sat at the kitchen counter munching on Cheerios, D spoke. “Well, in a few weeks we’ll head back to our real schools. Everything will be back to normal. This has been good, but won’t it be great to go back?”

“Oh yes…” Dada gushed. “I haven’t painted in weeks and I really miss it-”
Suddenly she frowned.

“What’s up?”

“Oh, I’m just not quite as excited as I thought I’d be.”

“Funny, neither am I.”

“And it’s weird, I miss Columbia already. I was happy there.”

D paused thoughtfully. “I loved how, for the first time in my life, I could be something other than old reliable D – disciplined, organized, logical, and professional. All that creativity and freedom – it was… intoxicating. Why did you like Columbia?”

“Honestly?” Dada laughed. “Well… I met someone. His name is Brian. He’s this dreamy senior with dark wavy hair and an amazing smile…”

D smiled knowingly. “He is pretty great, isn’t he? He and I were friends.”

Another pause.

D advanced, “Maybe this sounds strange, but I think I’ll stay at Reed.”

Dada’s eyes widened. “Seriously? I’m shocked.”

“Well, yeah. I’m just so excited to find a part of myself I didn’t know that I had. I’m having so much fun experimenting with different techniques, mediums, and styles. I love how I can use my unique viewpoint to create beautiful art. Suddenly life has so many possibilities. I feel so free and uninhibited, and I’m happier than I have been in a long time. I feel like I was asleep before and now I’ve awakened and am seeing the light for the first time.”

“I’m so glad to hear that, and I can empathize. I’ve been walking on air lately. I can’t stop smiling. I sing to myself and I’m giddy at times, making jokes, so content with my life.”

“You enjoy the program that much?”

“Well, it’s not really the program, though I was able to do well in my classes. It’s Brian. I think I love him. I want to stay at Columbia as well, but I don’t think I would be happy continuing in math. I think I’ll major in drama so I can pursue set design. I always thought that would be so fun, and it seems more stable than just being a studio artist.”

D paused again. “Wow. I can’t believe how much we’ve changed. And I’m glad to be close to you again. I miss that from when we were little. And finding a common passion of art – I think it will bring us closer than ever.”

Dada nodded. “Yes, definitely. But there is one thing I’m concerned about. It’s Mom, have you seen her since you’ve gotten home?”

“No, you know I just got here last night. Where is she? Is she on one of her road trips again?”

“No, she’s here, but I’m starting to worry. Sunday I overheard her talking on the phone and I caught the words “cosine” and “tangent.”

“Yesterday morning she grabbed her purse and a graphing calculator fell out.

“Yesterday afternoon I got the mail and there was a letter from the Ohio State math department – addressed to her!

“And then I stepped into her studio. It was covered with dust and looked like it hadn’t been touched for months.”

D frowned. “You’re right, this does sound serious. This doesn’t sound like her at all. She’s losing herself – Dad must be influencing her too much. I think we need to do an intervention.”

“Yes, but what… Oh, let’s take her to the art museum tomorrow! With all the artwork for inspiration, she’s bound to remember what she’s truly passionate about. Or if we get desperate, we could just lock her in her studio for a few hours.”

D laughed. “Hopefully we won’t have to resort to that. The museum should work. I’m glad that I have you on my side- I could never carry this off alone!”



*(If you need me to perform any similar interventions, just let me know… )

 

[Jeshu]

You have a very creative mind Lynne, I like the scientist story better, but the twin story is also well told.

How much fun to be able to create?

 

[Jeshu]

Down Turn.

The sun has been darkened,
my moon has turned to blood,
Stars are falling from the sky,
burning all my goodness up.

The dark clouds come rolling in,
lightening strikes are hitting home,
Rolling thunder shaking my world,
the floor quakes beneath my feet.

Dark clouds looking ominous,
hailstones pelting down on me,
no shelter from the raging storm,
all my comforts are out of reach.

My hands limp, head hung low,
my weary eyes dry and sore,
my heart from goodness starved,
I'm dragging my feet real slow.

Now my mood slumps lower yet
all my guilt stands before me,
the shame of me burns my cheeks,
confusion of heart must now rule.

I'm watching the forces of darkness,
hearing those rulers demand cruelly,
knowing they cast on me only despair,
and bring me a lot of hopelessness too.

Burning wrongs tempting me to follow,
Darkness beckoning, darkness to be,
force feeding me their disgusting diet,
compelling me into their godless ways.

Yet stubbornly I refuse to heed,
I'm waiting for Jesus my Saviour,
for I know that He'll come soon,
to take me away into His safety.

 

[Jeshu]

Have You Noticed?

Have you noticed
that when someone says
'you're wrong'
you go on tilt?

Have you noticed
that gossipers
are the vultures
finding what's dead?

Have you noticed
that accuser's voice
rains fire and brimstone
when you believe him?

Have you noticed
that the voice of predictions
is the false prophet
lying his head off?

Have you noticed
that wrong appeals in lies
but brings suffering Hell
lighting fires in your soul?

Have you noticed
that more hurt brings more evil
evil more hurt
and so on....?

Have you noticed
that a clear conscious
is a gift of God
worked by Jesus Christ?

Have you noticed
the crystal sea leading to God
Jesus' forgiving grace bringing
eternal life alive within?

 

[Jeshu]

I found this one today

see what you guys think



Be Truthfully Loving
always remain Faithful
to the above.

Yes be obedient
to the above three
and be truly Holy!

(In His loving truth be many ways in one!)

Be a true pray warrior.
Be meek, humble and lowly.
Be good, kind and patient.
Be fearless.
Be a searcher.
Be unstoppable.
Be a doer of good.
Be a lover of all souls.
Be a guardian of good Creation.
Be a traveller.
Be right.
Be honest.
Be unwavering.
Be a carer.
Be yourself.
Be open.
Be ready to do good.
Be attentive.
Be a worshipper of God.
Be a hater of evil.
Be deaf to wrong.
Be blind to iniquity!
Be fat with God's good.
Be foolish to the world.
Be a help to the helpless.
Be hungry for good things.​

(and so,)

Be a true believer.

 

[mich_ellie]

I could not believe
the feeling inside
as the dark grey clouds
filled the great blue sky.

From lightness to dark
in the blink of an eye
who could predict
the power of this Guy.

A strong gust of wind
anger; welling up inside
with a horrid sounding clash
I could only feel numb.

Fear builds up like a temple
minds crumble like ancient clay
incapable to change the time
all that is left is to pray.

I wrote it a while ago, it's a song as well, I play guitar...

 

[Jeshu]

I could not believe
the feeling inside
as the dark grey clouds
filled the great blue sky.

From lightness to dark
in the blink of an eye
who could predict
the power of this Guy.

A strong gust of wind
anger; welling up inside
with a horrid sounding clash
I could only feel numb.

Fear builds up like a temple
minds crumble like ancient clay
incapable to change the time
all that is left is to pray.

I wrote it a while ago, it's a song as well, I play guitar...

Yes very descriptive and I agree praying is left over, lucky us, at least we have the opportunity to whisper out of the dust to our Maker, not many are humbled like that, His very own gift of power to us.

One thing stands out to me, I understand a little of where no good is going to end up and in that I rejoice.


Excellent work, I would love to hear it play on guitar, I'm a guitar fan but don't play music myself.



Gerry

 

[Jeshu]

(A reflection on our fallen status)


Only Jesus passed the lie detector test
for in ourselves little truth can be found
dwelling just above below is at our best
though mostly we worm our way around.

 

[RealityPixie]

I do a bit of writing here and there, but havn't written anything that I've finished for more than a year or so when I did a creative writing class. I have the ideas, but the head is a bit jumbled of late (it's hard enough to write uni assignments!)

I have channelled my HM's though into my own small little 'enterprise' I call Cartesian Creations. I make simple jewelery and hand paint designs onto pre-loved clothes. I did have them posted on the net but had probs with the pictures and stuff, otherwise I'd show yas. I sell my stuff at doofs, to mates and had a stall at this years Earthdance.

 

[Jeshu]

An article I once wrote against someone wanting to accept evolution theory into the Christian faith. See what you think.


Evolution Theory vs Many World Design.


I once heard one of world's most prominent scientists, Stephen Hawking, talk about a theory of everything. His thinking, though interesting as I found it at the time, is a billion times removed from The Truth of The Bible though. For those who like theories - I suggest to you a Theory of Everything - just One Book to know - The Bible - A to Z - as written by Jesus Christ, as He happens to be Creation's Prime Mover and Engineer - God's ever and all able Loving Truth!

You know Quantum physics did come-up with some grasp of a many world theory, though it still lacks a solid foundation. The truth in my books is that Creation has been designed to be a many world reality. Just look at your own reality and then mine - and then see how the same and similar it is, and still so very different, in the same place, and yet not, maybe now, but not then, or otherwise. Now I'm not even including other, much more faithful creatures, the whole diversity of life all at their own stations, all doing what they were designed to do - all obeying their Creator - unlike us really.

Such thinking will be doing overtime with mathematicians though, as their beloved numbers crunching you might as well throw out of the windows - for such will spin right out - let me assure you - for the many world theory has little time for the modern theory of evolution or its partner in science, theoretical physics, both still ruling modern humanity today.

For the Bible did warn us not to put our trust in numbers, yet science, like usual hasn't heeded the Word of God, and claim that numbers can captivate all theoretical knowledge - if such nonsense rules the wise of this age, what hope has the rest of humanity got? I say let's quickly ditch their unfaithful theories before it is to late as they have numbered everything and claim complete godhead, as the Bible warns would happen - for you be hard pressed to find something which hasn't been numbered by that Beast supporting theory yet.

Personally I can't wait to see Evolution theory burn - at least humanity would finally give praise to God, as it is now shameful for us to see so narrow, when the views outside and inside tells us so much more. My friends paper, toys don't last long - even the Bible as a book has been numbered - even though that is the best weapon humanity got to slay untruth with. It seems to me that evolution as a cohered all inclusive theory hasn't got much of a hope, indeed its future and for those who adhere to thinking like this looks grim.

Honestly I can't wait until God topples this paper horse of all theories! What a nonsense - humans are alike to monkeys? Please, when will humanity present itself with some dignity - we are all children of the most High - honest no monkey blood in that! (Genesis 1.)

Are our ears so big then? Or are they still ringing from all those pushy evolutionist pushing their theory. Though itchy ears is perhaps the real truth of this theory, evolution the theory for itchy ears, that is made-up as speculation progresses along! A theory of unbelief, doubt and twisting half-truths. A theory which deliberately turns our Heavenly Father into a 'concept' unbelievers can work with, shaping their vision as they want to see things, not how they truly are.

For do we not know that animals are subservient to human spirits? Why would we want to carry their likeness? Such inhuman treatment I don't take from any theory. The Bible teaches that we are the lords of Creation. Evolution theory denies this truth, though they can easily see the fact that we are made superior to all other creatures, they must still twist it and foolishly announce that lower life produced higher life. Such an insult to our Creator who made us to be in His image, and surely not in the image of the virtually brainless, is bound to back-fire badly. (Rev 18)

As far as I'm concerned - Evolution Theory - lacks any coherent view on our existence. Indeed it is just fables made-up by speculators - people who know but a little and then think they know a lot. As if our Heavenly Father would play dice - shame on humanity for thinking so low of Him - they are basically calling our wonderful Creative Father in Heaven a gambling man - and make Him compete for space-time existence. Not only is such thinking blasphemous, considering we talking about the Creator of Heaven and earth, such thinking it is utterly ludicrous surely?


Clearly all of Creation has been - Designed To Be A Many World Reality - such truth is clearly visible and we don't need to crunch any numbers to support such fundamental facts, though one may continue reading the Bible and give the Creator all the glory, instead of numbers, chance and competition. So let's dump the numbers, get rid of the competition and free Creation - letting it continue to give glory to our Creator and - finally - all of us glorying in God as well - as we ought to! (Psalm 19.)

I for one would love seeing evolution theory topple, along with that Beastly system which called it into life, in my life time, it would bring me much joy to know that God's Word in Spirit is totally reliable - God cares for all Creation and has not just handed it over to chance and death, I only have to walk outside into my garden to see His truth at work everywhere. Good life is awesome - let them try and number such realities!

For considering God's design, surely who thinks he is wise? Let God speak and let us listen - that is my philosophy - and it is working marvellously well in my life - He is my every answer - I knew it would be for otherwise why would He have given me a heart, brain, ears, eyes, feeling, smell and taste buds? (Life's Candlestick burns brightly!) He even supplied me with a mouth and knees, He is so thoughtful, truly The Brain behind it all! Hallelujah!

 

[RealityPixie]

Jeshu, you are obviously a gifted writer. You have a good flow and I really get a sense of a stream of conciousness from this piece. Slightly offtopic though, there are a few things I take issue with:

1) you seem not to have a proper understanding of evolutionary theory. This is hardly the place to talk about such things and so I will leave it there.

2) that you wish to see evolutionary theory replaced by creation as the dominant world view (or at least that is the idea I got from this piece, correct me if I'm wrong). I do defend your or anybody elses rights to believe in such a theory if they choose, but I also feel that a diversity in belief and opinions makes the world a better place and enrishes our experience as a species. Evolutionary theory is the only one that has so far had scientific backing so it makes sense for science to adopt such views and treat them as fact. We cannot adopt a creationist (or any perspective) without any real facts taht can be subjected to scientific method, honestly, especially on such a big issue.



Sorry, offtopic. But as I said, you obviously have a flair fo writing and a good grasp of language. Keep it up, if you write anythings else I'd be keen to see it posted for us to read

 

[Jeshu]

Jeshu, you are obviously a gifted writer. You have a good flow and I really get a sense of a stream of conciousness from this piece. Slightly offtopic though, there are a few things I take issue with:

1) you seem not to have a proper understanding of evolutionary theory. This is hardly the place to talk about such things and so I will leave it there.

2) that you wish to see evolutionary theory replaced by creation as the dominant world view (or at least that is the idea I got from this piece, correct me if I'm wrong). I do defend your or anybody elses rights to believe in such a theory if they choose, but I also feel that a diversity in belief and opinions makes the world a better place and enrishes our experience as a species. Evolutionary theory is the only one that has so far had scientific backing so it makes sense for science to adopt such views and treat them as fact. We cannot adopt a creationist (or any perspective) without any real facts taht can be subjected to scientific method, honestly, especially on such a big issue.



Sorry, offtopic. But as I said, you obviously have a flair fo writing and a good grasp of language. Keep it up, if you write anythings else I'd be keen to see it posted for us to read

Thank you Grace that was very graceful of you, you were the last person I expected to respond to my article.

My response to your observations without going into a huge debate about it is this

It is true evolution theory is not my strong point, but I do understand the fundamentals, I just don't see alike. For to take factual information from a fallen Creation, as understood by fallen minds and hearts, is unlikely to produce properly understood truth.

You are right however, diversity and difference is very good - just look at Creation - I certainly love it, but in my experience a theory that claims factual truth must be consistent with the revealed truth otherwise the so called factual has proven to be very doubtful.

Like I point out in my article, contemporary beliefs, values, and knowledge have invented the evolution theory, this alone makes it very doubtful. For in our day and age knowledge has been captivated by numbers, theoretical mathematics, yet even a child can understand how silly such thinking is, luckily it is all numbered, as are our lives down here, there is much better to come!

If you have more to say about this please pm me, for I don't mind to debate this with you if you feel like doing that.

Thanks again for replying, have a great day.

 

[youthwalk]

Hi all! I'm back with a little update on my work!

 

[Jeshu]

Hi all! I'm back with a little update on my work!

Welcome back! How have you been? Looking forward seeing more of your work. Be blessed.

 

[Jeshu]

I can't remember if I shared this one. Someone told me that I didn't write true poetry, so I brewed this one up as reply, syllable count and everything! I loved writing this one, a real inspiration!

(Someone in South Africa wanted to publish it once, but by the time they got to me, their dead line had run out.)


Life's Short.

Life's wondrous offer to being, renders more then subjugation.
Please crucify your self-importance so you'll be a free creation.
However refining silver and purifying gold excludes the dross.
Bequeathing you no alternative but dependency on the cross.

God's Word ruminates food for the soul, whosoever you turnout to be.
For Christ's liberty fetches the shackled soul a combination key.
Grab hold of eternal bliss before death catches up with all the lies.
Remember life is short for those who have lost touch with paradise.

So I don't heed the gravediggers wallowing six foot deep in retreat.
Could death preclude us spiritually; as the Lord we'll surely meet?
Or still trusting that your demise has non-being as final victory?
I wager the whole of my existence - JESUS will be awaiting me!

 

[Jeshu]

A poem I wrote to Yvonne, years ago, when all seemed lost and Hell was upon us as a couple. I'm so unbelievable thankful that our Lord persevered our love, undeserved favour. For now the final goal, which seemed impossible then, but which I had then already in my sight - me walking beside her once more - for all to see, is very close.


We are married for 27 years today - and love each other heaps!


[FONT=Courier New, monospace]To you.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]I long after your spirit so gentle of touch and voice.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Delights of peace and harmony your simplest choice.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]The gentle breeze of your presence to make my body tingle.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]The loving delights when our spirits in Him become single.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]To know you better is my choice of heart.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]A cooling moment when you depart.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]I feel safe in your judgement.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Hurt in your disappointment.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]And joy in the smile of your contentment.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]As I'm proud of your every achievement.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]I feel frustrated when I can't read You.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Or don't understand why that is what you do.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]For I constantly need to know.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]What direction your love does blow.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Otherwise how can I get closer to you?[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Not knowing when harm I might do?[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]To our precious love so abused.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]As in times past?[/FONT]


[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Part of yourself denied, is what I vex[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]My being often causing your inner shipwrecks.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Am I still causing hurt and strife[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Inside my beloved wife?[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Because I am to blind to see[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]That sometimes I cause you misery.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]All because I am me?[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]It is so hard to bear such responsibility.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]When I love you so and want so much more……[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]To give what has been slain in me so sore[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]So out of reach for me to give or enjoy.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]How this my heart does annoy.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Yet I know that you are waiting there for me.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Seeing me captive seeing me free.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]How I can cry for you from out of my inner jail.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]When I see all that you do without any fail.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]While I'm just an emotional demolition squad.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Watching myself in anguish rot.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]After I have blown myself away once more.[/FONT]


[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Darling I don't know fully what has gone wrong.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]For though my love for you is still so strong.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Lots else inside of me has badly crashed.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Much of me has been completely smashed.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]For I gave my love away to gain even more.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Yet I lost so much to Devil's evil harlot.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]For see how sweet your smile at me can be[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Still out of reach, you can be to me.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Seeing your heart seek my love.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Knowing my love is not enough.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Wondering about the love I feel inside.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Whenever you come into my mind.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Yet I can't seem to give what I ache to impart.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]To take you to my dwelling place of heart.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Offering myself so destitute and exposed.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Telling you that I still love you the most. (After Jesus of course.)[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]For how I long to be simply at your side,[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]With the inner heartfelt joy for my bride,[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Filling my every senses?[/FONT]


[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Has remorse not been helpful enough to me?[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Can broken heartedness not find plenty mercy?[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Your love says it all – faithfully each day.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Your love for me – is my Father on display.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Still I can't seem to reach out inside of me.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Emptiness you in my eyes must then see. [/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]I can be so frustrated that I then fail.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]So easily I run this way of the rail.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Blindly hurting your love for me.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Even bringing you much misery.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]The pit is just so deep from that point of view.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]My own self can make me spew.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Yet how can I change who I am in me?[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Without the mental strength to obtain victory?[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]I am but a captive of my own unfaithful life.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Down trodden by my own inner strife.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]And utter uselessness when I'm like this.[/FONT]


[FONT=Courier New, monospace]I seek after stability in which I can fail.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]So like you I can stay on the trail.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]I love to hurt your deepest pain.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Rejoice together in your smallest gain.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]God's peace in you to touch.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]When for me it has become to much.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]I like to suffer your failures and your downs.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]I love your smiles so please give me your frowns.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Your needs my own to be.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]So your heart can help to set us free.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]The man to take his woman's hand.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]So she can help him up to stand.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Walking together in God's grace.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]Until the end of this mortal phase[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]You…. JUST YOU and ONLY YOU to be.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]With me right beside for all to see.[/FONT]
[FONT=Courier New, monospace]God's grace and favour.[/FONT]