Im in need of some real christian advice right now from anyone who is willing to listen to my story...
Well I started feeling aroused when I hit 17...so I began to touch. It was almost like an addiction. Well I finally got myself to stop it at 18. I am an 18 year old girl. Soon though....I began watching inappropriate contentographic videos on the internet. I felt so guilty before God and terribly upset at how dirty I was capable of being. Well, I did it again...and again. Then stopped. I then started again compulsively, addicted. Every time I watched inappropriate content, Id touch after it. Only this time, I did not feel as guilty for seeing inappropriate content. I guess I started being desensitised to it.
My parents are separated and I desperately want a father figure in my life....ie. male companionship (marriage). I have never had a boyfriend (partly because Ive been taught not to date unless Im thinking of marriage, and partly because I dont know how to show a guy that I like them...Im good at keeping my feelings hidden). I really want to get married to a strong christian guy...
I was a good christian all my life (since being saved at 11).....I started backsliding in my late teens. I am a believer and I often cry out to God to reveal himself to me, to comfort me, to help me find the right guy, to be closer to him, etc......but its just so hard, I know that I will backslide again even if I do ask for forgiveness, so I dont ask for it in the first place. Also, listening to worldy music is another addiction.
My life isnt going where Id like it to, I need to restore my relationship with God, but I feel it can never be the same as it was. Please help me. KI dont want to say sorry and then start with my old habits all over again.
Well I started feeling aroused when I hit 17...so I began to touch. It was almost like an addiction. Well I finally got myself to stop it at 18. I am an 18 year old girl. Soon though....I began watching inappropriate contentographic videos on the internet. I felt so guilty before God and terribly upset at how dirty I was capable of being. Well, I did it again...and again. Then stopped. I then started again compulsively, addicted. Every time I watched inappropriate content, Id touch after it. Only this time, I did not feel as guilty for seeing inappropriate content. I guess I started being desensitised to it.
My parents are separated and I desperately want a father figure in my life....ie. male companionship (marriage). I have never had a boyfriend (partly because Ive been taught not to date unless Im thinking of marriage, and partly because I dont know how to show a guy that I like them...Im good at keeping my feelings hidden). I really want to get married to a strong christian guy...
I was a good christian all my life (since being saved at 11).....I started backsliding in my late teens. I am a believer and I often cry out to God to reveal himself to me, to comfort me, to help me find the right guy, to be closer to him, etc......but its just so hard, I know that I will backslide again even if I do ask for forgiveness, so I dont ask for it in the first place. Also, listening to worldy music is another addiction.
My life isnt going where Id like it to, I need to restore my relationship with God, but I feel it can never be the same as it was. Please help me. KI dont want to say sorry and then start with my old habits all over again.