how many times a day do you hear from your SO

[FantasyFlower]

Hello.


So yeas thats the Question how many times a day do you hear from your SO? like from texting,phone calls................just curious.
And my other question is does being affectionate/romance matter in your relationship?

if this sounds strange im just wondering whats important for a christian couple....Im dating someone and he isnt to affectionate BUT he is a good christian...we only been together for a month tho so its not long time but anywho dosent matter just wondering how a christian relationship should be like, understand?

 

[HKAngel]

I've been dating my bf for about 2 months, we talk at least once a day every day. However throughout the day he sends several very sweet text messages to let me know he is thinking of me. I appreciate thoughtfulness and romance.

 

[waxlion10]

The number of times we text/call/email/IM/talk each other is not a reflection on what a typical Christian relationship "should be" The amount of communication and the frequency and the type is going to vary GREATLY from couple to couple, even Christian couples.

To answer your question, we usually text less than ten texts to each other every day. When we are long distance (which is about eight months out of the year), we talk on the phone twice or maybe three times a week.

We don't talk online. We rarely email or Facebook message.

And yet, we've been together for three and a half years and love each other and the Lord very much

To answer your other question: he has never bought me flowers and we don't do anniversaries or other little "romantic" things. The most romantic things he's done for me? He created an entire scavenger hunt for me last Christmas. He came and threw rocks at my window two years ago. But I'm ok with that Romance is nice, but not an accurate indication of my guy's affection and devotion and loyalty.

I think it's much more loving that he has stayed up late at night when I've been in tears because my grandparents died... or massaged my aching feet after long days of work and volleyball practice...or cooked me dinner after a long work day...or spoken the harsh, objective truth in love because I've been completley off base...



It sounds as if your problem is that you need more communication and affection from your guy... I know I'm making assumptions here, but that's the feeling I got from your post... if this is the case, talk to him NOW, early in the relationship, to let him know your expectations. Be calm and rational, and spend time in prayer and reflection before you do talk to him. Then, as a couple, decide how "romantic" and "affectionate" you are both comfortable being... decide how much communication you should expect from each other.

Good luck!

 

[FantasyFlower]

oh ok.


Im torn in between do I say somthing about it and then he starts doing things is it cause he actually wants to or just does cause I asked him too...plus I dont know how to ask him without offending him or sound bossy.

you both seem to be alot in contact with your SO, I wish we were like that would be nice...
We talk once a day but he dosent really text me unless I send a first text and then he texts me asking how am I?
lol
thats about all I get off him I know he cares about me but when he dosent say it,it gets hard..

How should I ask him without pushing him away or sounding like a brat?

 

[the.Sheepdog]

Im married 13 years but just had to input. We both have Blackberrys and PM each other at least 100 times a day. like twitter only more personal.

Great topic!

 

[HKAngel]

Im married 13 years but just had to input. We both have Blackberrys and PM each other at least 100 times a day. like twitter only more personal.

Great topic!

That is sooooooooooooooooo sweet, after 13 years...sigh I hope that's me and my bf in 13 years.

 

[FantasyFlower]

wow thats great, im jealous lol hopefully that will be me one day....

 

[explodingboy]

Hmm, I rarely call her unless she is out and I either need to find her or remind her of something she is supposed to be doing, neither of us txt or email each other..

Pretty much all of our communication is face to face talking since we live together these days.

 

[Starcradle]

So yeas that's the Question how many times a day do you hear from your SO? like from texting,phone calls................just curious.

Me and my beloved are long distance at the moment.

Monday through Saturday, we begin our mornings together by talking for approximately 15 minutes before his work day commences at 4:30 AM. We also email during weekday afternoons. (This, despite his hectic schedule. He works over forty hours a week, attends English class in the evenings, and has other pressing responsibilities.)

On Saturday and Sunday evenings, we generally speak for at least two hours.

And my other question is does being affectionate/romance matter in your relationship?

Being vocally and physically affectionate is of great importance to both of us. Our definition of romance involves both the peculiar and the traditional, yet it is thriving within our relationship. All glory be to God!

As waxlion stated, all such elements and their importance will vary according to each couple. In earlier years, I gravitated toward men who were far less expressive and passionate. I subsequently learned that it would have been disastrous to be paired with such individuals, as our communication needs and modes of expression were entirely distinct. I consistently felt that there was something missing, and it was due to incompatibility.

 

[Windmill]

Depends...

If I am seeing him that day I'll hang out with him then and then talk to him later that night over IM. Otherwise, I'll just talk to him each night over IM. Neither of us has a cellphone we use regularly so we can't keep in contact in that manner.

It is not often that we contact each other specifically to be romantic Neither of us mind the unromanticness. It would be sweet if he did something romantic, but I would also find it weird for him and find it kind of awkward. So neither of us care.

 

[Manda_24]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 months and we don't talk everyday but maybe close, it just depends. When we first started dating it was every couple of days or so, our schedules were just so different it was hard for us to see each other or chat. Then in May I was gone for a month to India to study abroad, it was hard to talk then because of the time difference (10 and a half hours). We emailed a little and chatted on AIM a few times. Now that it's summer we see each other more often, I work until about 6:00 every night, sometimes till 8:00 and he doesn't work everyday most weeks. We go to the same church so we see each other then and we also play softball together once a week so that helps as well.
Neither of us really like to talk on the phone so if we're not going to see each other for a few days we'll chat for a few minutes or so on AIM, our phone conversations are usually pretty short.

 

[r3b0rn]

We are in an LDR, and at the request of her Dad (who has yet to meet me), we are only allowed to converse once every week.

It's a pain, considering we used to talk for several hours every day.

We do, however, have blogs that we keep regularly updated so we can keep up to date with what's going on.

If it weren't for her father's request, we would be talking a lot, every day. I'm not sure how things will change when i'm there in person, and i'm not really sure what the norm is.

 

[Windmill]

We are in an LDR, and at the request of her Dad (who has yet to meet me), we are only allowed to converse once every week.

It's a pain, considering we used to talk for several hours every day.

We do, however, have blogs that we keep regularly updated so we can keep up to date with what's going on.

If it weren't for her father's request, we would be talking a lot, every day. I'm not sure how things will change when i'm there in person, and i'm not really sure what the norm is.

What on earth was his justification for that? I'm sorry, but that seems like an extremely dumb request on his behalf. You're 18 years old, where on earth does he get the nerve to "allow" you to "converse" once every week?

 

[r3b0rn]

What on earth was his justification for that? I'm sorry, but that seems like an extremely dumb request on his behalf. You're 18 years old, where on earth does he get the nerve to "allow" you to "converse" once every week?

Lol, it's nice to talk to you again Windmill. I missed your passion.

Basically, he doesn't want us being involved at all. This is his way of "slowing things down."

I don't like it, but i'm honouring his request. Hopefully things will change in roughly 59 days' time.

Oh, and by the way - she isn't quite 18 yet.

 

[Luther073082]

We are LDR. (Oddly enough I'm typing this while I'm sitting in on Melissa's psychology class.)

But we talk AT LEAST once a day at the end of the day on the phone. Often we do it more then once, depending on our schedules. (Mostly hers, mine is pretty much the same every day (save for weekends) her's changes)

 

[Bampot]

We usually send a text here and there or talk on the net for a tiny bit. At the end of the day we talk on the phone, sometimes cam, for a few hours. We're in an LDR, by the way.

I just started a new job in which I'll be working overtime every day and my only day off will be Sunday. It's going to be stressing on our talking time, being as I don't get off work until midnight when my real hours start next week, but we're still going to make it happen on the nights when he doesn't have school. Out next visit with each other is going to be in September, when he graduates.

 

[Blank123]

texting could be nil to several times a day, phone calls except when we're in the same country are pretty rare but we will talk for hours on end in person or on IM every day. its actually quite rare to go a day without talking to one another. thats been the case for us anyway for the last 3 years.

Im torn in between do I say somthing about it and then he starts doing things is it cause he actually wants to or just does cause I asked him too...plus I dont know how to ask him without offending him or sound bossy.

you both seem to be alot in contact with your SO, I wish we were like that would be nice...
We talk once a day but he dosent really text me unless I send a first text and then he texts me asking how am I?
lol
thats about all I get off him I know he cares about me but when he dosent say it,it gets hard..

How should I ask him without pushing him away or sounding like a brat?

about the texting thing, he could be like my bf. he hates texting and will only do it if its necessary. I actually didn't know that until i asked him why he didn't text me though, so it can't hurt to ask him a direct question.

also if you need to hear him say with his own lips that he cares about you, tell him that. we all have different needs in a relationship and some people do need to hear that kind of affirmation from their SO. there's nothing wrong with that and if he knows thats something you need from him, he should be quite willing to comply

 

[FantasyFlower]

ok.

thankyou all for replying and for the help.....

 

[Windmill]

Lol, it's nice to talk to you again Windmill. I missed your passion.

Basically, he doesn't want us being involved at all. This is his way of "slowing things down."

I don't like it, but i'm honouring his request. Hopefully things will change in roughly 59 days' time.

Oh, and by the way - she isn't quite 18 yet.

passion

Well I guess thats fair enough, you definitely wouldn't want her kicked out of the house on account of you

 

[latteda]

Hello.


So yeas thats the Question how many times a day do you hear from your SO? like from texting,phone calls................just curious.
And my other question is does being affectionate/romance matter in your relationship?

if this sounds strange im just wondering whats important for a christian couple....Im dating someone and he isnt to affectionate BUT he is a good christian...we only been together for a month tho so its not long time but anywho dosent matter just wondering how a christian relationship should be like, understand?

We talk at least once a day somehow. Usually we'll talk on the phone before bedtime if we're not spending time together. But how often I hear from him and how long we talk really depends on what's going on in our lives that day. Most of the time, if we're texting, it's to exchange information while one of us is working or out with someone else...not just for fun. Most of the time, I try not to distract him while he's working unless I need something.

As far as affection and romance, that is hard to say. We are both pretty affectionate with each other, as far as physically. There's not a lot of what many would call "romance" in our relationship. It is more important to me than it is to him because he is extremely logical about everything. Both of us consider many romantic things awkward and cheesy. I like some romance, but I probably do better than a lot of girls would without it.

I definitely understand the struggle with wanting more and feeling selfish for wanting more or asking for more. A month really isn't that long, though...you might want to consider giving it more time to develop a bit. A lot of this kind of thing doesn't come naturally to guys and takes a lot of courage for them to open themselves in a romantic way. Romance can require a lot of vulnerability, and that's more difficult for some than it is for others.

If it continues to eat away at you, it's probably better to talk about it. Try not to make the conversation too dramatic and be sure you don't come off as accusatory. Let him know how you are feeling without making him feel like a failure or like you doubt him. I know, believe me, that as a woman it is extremely hard to know how to communicate emotional needs without coming across the wrong way. I hope you guys can work things out and be closer for it.